Blunt Jokes

92 blunt jokes and hilarious blunt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blunt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the art of blunt jokes and its underlying comedy principles, such as crisp delivery, joking about uncomfortable topics, and using language in a direct and non-conventional way. Learn how to use humor in the most succinct way to make your jokes hit the mark and become a less lackluster communicator. Plus, find out what makes James and Emily Blunt the perfect blunt persons to learn from.

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Funniest Blunt Short Jokes

Short blunt jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blunt humour may include short blatant jokes also.

  1. A transgender person cut me in line at the supermarket. You're LGBT, right? I asked.
    You forgot about the 'Q', they replied bluntly.
    No, I said, you did.
  2. I suspect that my son has been flushing his blunts down the toilet. No wonder my water bill is so high.
  3. I just found a fruit roll-up in my pocket That means one of my kids has a grape flavored blunt rap in their lunch box.
  4. Knock knock - Who's there?
    - A blunt pencil
    - A blunt pencil who?
    - Leave it. There's no point.
  5. Why is the sharpener always invited to the pencil case debates? He always makes a good point and the pencils tend to very blunt when he's not around.
  6. I caught someone keying my mother-in-law's car, so I walked over to him. I said, "Try mine, yours are looking a little blunt."
  7. Watching a film about Princess Diana.. And Diana says "if we are lucky we will grow old" and my sister turns around and says bluntly and without a hint of a smile, "you won't"
  8. Why do you have to be blunt to fat people? Because if you sugar coat it, they will eat that too
  9. Christopher Nolan always turns down the chance to smoke a blunt He prefers a BONNGGG
  10. Whats with blunt objects? I just don't see the point...

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Blunt One Liners

Which blunt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blunt? I can suggest the ones about dull and brutal.

  1. My friend used my todo list to roll a blunt He's high on my list of priorities
  2. Burritos are like blunts If you cant roll, get a bowl
  3. I've started blunting knives to help myself relax. Really takes the edge off.
  4. The plumber found a blunt in my faucet today. No wonder my water bills are so high.
  5. I've tried writing with a blunt pencil. But it was pointless
  6. So I used a blunt pencil yesterday... It was pointless.
  7. I just find that blunt pencils are so... ... pointless
    I'll find my own way out
  8. My friend wanted us to dress up as joints for Halloween. I had to be blunt with him.
  9. I was head-butted by an animal in the Andes... It was a blunt-force llama.
  10. Theres a reason it's called a blunt you don't feel as sharp after it
  11. I don't like blunt arrow heads. They are pointless.
  12. What do you call a SWAT team with Snoop Dogg? A Blunt force
  13. I hate blunt knives They just won't cut it for me
  14. I hate talking to mary jane She's just too blunt
  15. What's Snoop Dogg's favourite weapon? A blunt weapon.

Hits Blunt Jokes

Here is a list of funny hits blunt jokes and even better hits blunt puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was smoking and.. *Hits blunt*
    *Blunt hits back*
    Me: Woah
    Blunt: Yeah, be careful next time
  • Why would John Krasinski hitting his wife get him drug related criminal charges? He'd be caught hitting a Blunt.
  • *Hits blunt* Why is there a L in Noel if its Noel
  • Hits blunt so if you waiting for then waiter aren't you the waiter?
  • *Hits Blunt* "Sir, naming your child Blunt is not a 'loophole in the system'"
  • What did Bob Marley die of? BLUNT force trauma
    He got hit with a BLUNT object
  • Why did the pedestrian die after getting hit by a p**... s**...? Too much blunt force.
  • What did the s**... musician hit me on the head with? A blunt instrument
  • What does a gamer say to the s**... after he got his head hit by a rock? You took blunt damage!!!

James Blunt Jokes

Here is a list of funny james blunt jokes and even better james blunt puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What celebrity is most likely to stab you? James Blunt
  • What is a s**...'s favorite song? 'High' by James Blunt.
    ^^^I'll ^^^see ^^^myself ^^^out.
Blunt joke, What is a s**...'s favorite song?

Emily Blunt Jokes

Here is a list of funny emily blunt jokes and even better emily blunt puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Emily Blunt will star in a new crime movie where she hunts down hitmen who keep swallowing their targets and spitting out bigger versions of themselves. It's titled Agario.
  • What do you call a woman that's too straight forward? Emily Blunt
  • Who is Snoop Dogg's favorite actress? Emily Blunt.
Blunt joke, Who is Snoop Dogg's favorite actress?

Quirky and Hilarious Blunt Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about blunt you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean straight forward jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blunt pranks.

A clinic was trialling a new, cheap way to numb a patient for surgery.

The new method involved blunt force trauma to the patient's head.
The strategy was such a success that people would line up around the block to receive the new anaesthetic.
A man asked the doctor what the line was for.
The doctor replied "that's the punchline."

After smoking on a fat blunt with his neighbor, a man walks back to his apartment he shares with his girlfriend and realizes he forgets his key. Eyes red and clothes smelling like w**..., he knocks on the door and his girlfriend answers...

She looks at him and with disgust says "high again?"
He looks at her intently and replies back saying "hello"

Best blunt / straight to the point jokes of all time?

What do you call a boomerang that dosen't come back? A stick

Where can you find Jhene Aiko at Bed Peace?

At bed, blunt, and beyond. Bada tssss. I tried.

Peter Parker's at a party

He's offered a blunt. "No," He says looking out the window at the skyline. "That's not the Mary Jane I need."

What do you call a m**... induced tragedy?

Blunt Trauma

What Do You Call It When Someone Has a Bad Experience With w**...?

Blunt trauma.

Today my s**... friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap

He was high on my list of priorities

I'd Like to Make A Pun About w**..., But...

I don't want to be blunt about it

Born to succeed

What was born to succeed?
A budgie with a blunt beak.

My girlfriend likes it from behind while she's smoking a blunt.

Snoop d**....

What does a pencil have in common with m**...?

If it doesn't make you look smart, it's blunt.

Did you hear about a guy who was beaten with a m**... joint?

He suffered blunt force trauma

I just found out my mom had an affair.

The worst part is I found out in the most blunt way possible. I was playing Call of Duty when I was informed by another player that he had carnal relations with my mother. The worst part is he sounded so young.

To be blunt

I'm gonna need some tobacco leaf and some m**...

Someone pressured me into smoking w**... one time and it still scares me to this day

I call it blunt force trauma

Your cat died

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.
Her husband said: The cat just died.
She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?
Husband: She is playing on the roof.

How did the s**... die?

From blunt force trauma

Wow, somebody actually died from smoking too much w**...

His cause of death was "Blunt Force Trauma"

Why was snoop dogg admitted to hospital?

He had blunt force trauma

I attacked a man with a spliff yesterday...

I was charged with "assault using a blunt instrument"

What did the cheap cigar say to the bag of w**...?

May I be blunt with you?

A guy accidentally burns his finger while smoking a blunt

now he has chronic pain

Two m**... dispensaries created a merger deal, becoming one.

To be blunt, the stakes were high, but they were hopeful as it was a joint venture.

Why do people keep blunt needles?

There's no point.

What did one s**... noodle say to the other?

Pasta blunt homie.

Do you know what does the straightforward w**... say as a premise to everything?

"I'll be blunt".

If you are creating a weapon for blunt force trauma I would advise you to make it heavy and balanced while being suitable to your size and strength.

Not to put too fine a point on it.

How did the s**... die?

Blunt trama

What did the German say when passed the blunt?


People say that w**... and skunk smell pretty similar.

The difference is that skunk smell is just slightly sharper, while w**... smell is more blunt.

The officer was blunt about what happens to m**... smokers

He takes them to the joint.

What do you call a bad w**... trip?

Blunt trauma

"I hear you just got married again."

Jim: "Joe, I hear you just got married again."
Joe: "Yes, for the fourth time."
Jim: "What happened to your first three wives?"
Joe: "They all died, Jim."
Jim: "How did that happen?"
Joe: "My first wife ate poison mushrooms."
Jim: "How terrible! And your second?"
Joe: "She ate poison mushrooms."
Jim: "And your third ate poison mushrooms too?"
Joe: "Oh, no. She died of blunt head trauma."
Jim: "I see, an accident."
Joe: "Not exactly. She wouldn't eat her mushrooms."

Two men talking…….

Man 1: You know, I've been married twice and both my wife's died. The first one died from eating poisonous mushrooms. The second one died from blunt force trauma to the skull.
Man 2: Jesus, and how did that happen?
Man 1: She wouldn't eat her mushrooms

What do you call it when someone coerces you into smoking m**... rolled into a cigar and it mentally scars you?

Blunt force trauma

How do you have a serious conversation with a s**...?

You have to be very blunt with them.
[corny joke alert]

A s**..., a Jedi and a doctor all walk into a bar

Blunt Force Trauma

Blunt joke, A s**..., a Jedi and a doctor all walk into a bar