Quirky and Hilarious Blunt Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
A clinic was trialling a new, cheap way to numb a patient for surgery.
The new method involved blunt force trauma to the patient's head.
The strategy was such a success that people would line up around the block to receive the new anaesthetic.
A man asked the doctor what the line was for.
The doctor replied "that's the punchline."
After smoking on a fat blunt with his neighbor, a man walks back to his apartment he shares with his girlfriend and realizes he forgets his key. Eyes red and clothes smelling like w**..., he knocks on the door and his girlfriend answers...
She looks at him and with disgust says "high again?"
He looks at her intently and replies back saying "hello"
Why do you have to be blunt to fat people?
Because if you sugar coat it, they will eat that too
Where can you find Jhene Aiko at Bed Peace?
At bed, blunt, and beyond. Bada tssss. I tried.
I just find that blunt pencils are so...
... pointless
I'll find my own way out
Peter Parker's at a party
He's offered a blunt. "No," He says looking out the window at the skyline. "That's not the Mary Jane I need."
I just found a fruit roll-up in my pocket
That means one of my kids has a grape flavored blunt rap in their lunch box.
What do you call a m**... induced tragedy?
Blunt Trauma
Emily Blunt will star in a new crime movie where she hunts down hitmen who keep swallowing their targets and spitting out bigger versions of themselves.
It's titled Agario.
What Do You Call It When Someone Has a Bad Experience With w**...?
Blunt trauma.
Today my s**... friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap
He was high on my list of priorities
You can explore blunt succinct reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean blunt cleaver dad jokes. There are also blunt puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I'd Like to Make A Pun About w**..., But...
I don't want to be blunt about it
Born to succeed
What was born to succeed?
A budgie with a blunt beak.
My friend used my todo list to roll a blunt
He's high on my list of priorities
My girlfriend likes it from behind while she's smoking a blunt.
Snoop d**....
What do you call a SWAT team with Snoop Dogg?
A Blunt force
I tried explaining to someone why smoking w**... is bad for you.
To be blunt, I don't think they were paying much attention.
What does a pencil have in common with m**...?
If it doesn't make you look smart, it's blunt.
Did you hear about a guy who was beaten with a m**... joint?
He suffered blunt force trauma
I just found out my mom had an affair.
The worst part is I found out in the most blunt way possible. I was playing Call of Duty when I was informed by another player that he had carnal relations with my mother. The worst part is he sounded so young.
To be blunt
I'm gonna need some tobacco leaf and some m**...
I've tried writing with a blunt pencil.
But it was pointless
So I used a blunt pencil yesterday...
It was pointless.
Someone pressured me into smoking w**... one time and it still scares me to this day
I call it blunt force trauma
Your cat died
A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.
Her husband said: The cat just died.
She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?
Husband: She is playing on the roof.
Why is the sharpener always invited to the pencil case debates?
He always makes a good point and the pencils tend to very blunt when he's not around.
Why did the pedestrian die after getting hit by a p**... s**...?
Too much blunt force.
How did the s**... die?
From blunt force trauma
Wow, somebody actually died from smoking too much w**...
His cause of death was "Blunt Force Trauma"
The plumber found a blunt in my faucet today.
No wonder my water bills are so high.
I attacked a man with a spliff yesterday...
I was charged with "assault using a blunt instrument"
What did the cheap cigar say to the bag of w**...?
May I be blunt with you?
I hate blunt knives
They just won't cut it for me
I don't like blunt arrow heads.
They are pointless.
A guy accidentally burns his finger while smoking a blunt
now he has chronic pain
What did the s**... musician hit me on the head with?
A blunt instrument
Whats with blunt objects?
I just don't see the point...
What's Snoop Dogg's favourite weapon?
A blunt weapon.
I caught someone keying my mother-in-law's car, so I walked over to him.
I said, "Try mine, yours are looking a little blunt."
Two m**... dispensaries created a merger deal, becoming one.
To be blunt, the stakes were high, but they were hopeful as it was a joint venture.
Why do people keep blunt needles?
There's no point.
What did one s**... noodle say to the other?
Pasta blunt homie.
Do you know what does the straightforward w**... say as a premise to everything?
"I'll be blunt".
If you are creating a weapon for blunt force trauma I would advise you to make it heavy and balanced while being suitable to your size and strength.
Not to put too fine a point on it.
How did the s**... die?
Blunt trama
How did the s**... propose to his girlfriend?
He passed her a blunt with a ring around it and said:
Marriage, you wanna?
If a hammer had hair, what color would it be?
Blunt
People say that w**... and skunk smell pretty similar.
The difference is that skunk smell is just slightly sharper, while w**... smell is more blunt.
I hate talking to Mary Jane
She's just too blunt
The officer was blunt about what happens to m**... smokers
He takes them to the joint.
Christopher Nolan always turns down the chance to smoke a blunt
He prefers a BONNGGG
My friend wanted us to dress up as joints for Halloween.
I had to be blunt with him.
Theres a reason it's called a blunt
you don't feel as sharp after it
What do you call a bad w**... trip?
Blunt trauma
"I hear you just got married again."
Jim: "Joe, I hear you just got married again."
Joe: "Yes, for the fourth time."
Jim: "What happened to your first three wives?"
Joe: "They all died, Jim."
Jim: "How did that happen?"
Joe: "My first wife ate poison mushrooms."
Jim: "How terrible! And your second?"
Joe: "She ate poison mushrooms."
Jim: "And your third ate poison mushrooms too?"
Joe: "Oh, no. She died of blunt head trauma."
Jim: "I see, an accident."
Joe: "Not exactly. She wouldn't eat her mushrooms."
Knock knock
- Who's there?
- A blunt pencil
- A blunt pencil who?
- Leave it. There's no point.
Two men talking…….
Man 1: You know, I've been married twice and both my wife's died. The first one died from eating poisonous mushrooms. The second one died from blunt force trauma to the skull.
Man 2: Jesus, and how did that happen?
Man 1: She wouldn't eat her mushrooms
What do you call it when someone coerces you into smoking m**... rolled into a cigar and it mentally scars you?
Blunt force trauma
How do you have a serious conversation with a s**...?
You have to be very blunt with them.
[corny joke alert]
A s**..., a Jedi and a doctor all walk into a bar
Blunt Force Trauma
