Following is our collection of Blue jokes which are very funny. There are some blue smurfette jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these blue yellow puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Whitney Houston is dead
and iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love yoooouooooou
A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"
Roses are red
Violets are blue
No, they are violet
FTFY
But these are just miner details.
Stalin's ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help running the country.
Stalin says "Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue."
"Why blue?" Putin asks.
"Ha!" says Stalin. "I knew you wouldn't ask me about the first part."
A swallow
Once in a Blue Moon
A couple have 13 children, 12 of them are blonde and have blue eyes, 1 has black hair and brown eyes, his name is Peter. One day the wife of the couple is dying of illness, her husband is sitting on her bed. The husband says "Our Peter is different from the other kids, does he have a different father?" His wife says yes. And, the man says, "Then, who is his dad?" Upon which his wife says, "You".
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here. Too much Risk."
Light blue.
A dead epileptic
You can explore blue voilets reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean blue pink dad jokes. There are also blue puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
This thread :/
This joke was in a book I had as a young child, probably from the 70s or 80s. It's so ridiculous, I remember it to this day.
Q: How do you kill a blue elephant?
A: Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you kill a white elephant?
A: Hold its nose until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying.
Obligatory
My friend was having some issues with his hearing, so he booked a doctor's appointment. The doctor checked him over and had a look in his ears. The doctor said "okay. So, describe the symptoms". My friend said "well, there's homer. He's the dad. And there's Marge, she's got big blue hair..."
I like it more than blue and red combined.
while French people remove the red and blue colour
He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"
So I replied "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"
who killed harambe?
Cincinnati zoo
He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man Just stared.
Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Stop memes about Harambe
-Cincinnati Zoo
I have Alzheimer's
To get to the other side
I asked how he could tell which one is which.
He said, 'Well, Andrea is really, really attractive - she has long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and plump red lips. Plus she's got a really nice body. Pretty much a perfect ten.
And Brian has a cock.'
About as secure as her private email server.
She said, "No, it's a super moon, not a blue one".
Blue
Lives in the White House.
Hitler blew an 11 country lead during World War 2
Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.
Blue Paint.
I told him to stop discriminating against other cultures.
Blue
No, a red one.
No, blue.
No wait, a pink one.
Cool.
Never mind, I'm keeping it!
Light blue.
The game would be cancelled.
Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.
He said, "Ehh not really. Maybe once in a Blue Moon."
"The sky is definitely blue," said one girl.
"Nice try but the sky can be black or purple or even orange," replied the teacher.
"The grass is definitely green," said a little boy.
"Well... The grass can be brown too."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
"Yes Johnny?"
"Are farts solid?" asked little Johnny.
Finding this an odd question she was slightly shocked, but answered anyway, "No Johnny."
"Well I definitely pooped my pants."
...it's so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.
Describe the symptoms....
Uh...Well Marge has blue hair....homer is fat...
"You see Blue, its the anagram of something your mom loves as much as you"
And why is my sister called Lana ?
"For the same reason."
He asked me to describe the symptoms.
I said homer is a fat bloke and marge has blue hair
The red bit and the blue bit.
Premature ejaculator in need of smoking hot size 6 blonde.
Preferably with blue eyes and huge double d....
Nevermind.
... unless they're flashing behind you.
One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!
"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!
"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.
And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of him!
"I wish for a meat shower!" The second dinosaur said.
And so the genie made all different sorts of meats from different animals rain from a small cloud above the dinosaur's head.
Not wanting to be outdone by his friends the third dinosaur quickly tries to think of something better.
"I wish for a meatier shower!"
Light blue.
He says to Putin: "I have two bits of advice for you: kill off all your opponents and paint the Kremlin blue."
Putin asks, "Why blue?"
Stalin replies, "I knew you would not object to the first one."
A really fast apple.
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
blue paint.
Light blue
A man goes into the doctors and says "doctor doctor I think I'm going deaf" and the doctor says "can you describe the symptoms" and he says "yes, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair"
Pink fluff. Whats blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath
I hate it more than red and blue combined.
Blue sky at night: day
Year celebrates you.
Right up until you see them flashing in your rear view mirror
Once, in a Blue Moon.
more than blue and red combined.
Red blue yellow.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the blue gray jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working blue house of blues piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.