The Best 63 Blue Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Blue jokes. There are some blue smurfette jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these blue roses are red and violets are blue puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Blue Jokes and Puns

A Valentines Poem

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Whitney Houston is dead
and iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love yoooouooooou

Regretting the compliment...

A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"

I saw a guy today with soot all over his face carrying a large pick axe and wearing a royal blue hardhat that matched his overalls.

But these are just miner details.

Blue joke, I saw a guy today with soot all over his face carrying a large pick axe and wearing a royal blue har

If a bluebird has blue babies and a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?

A swallow

Do you ever put an orange in your beer?

Once in a Blue Moon


Peter is different

A couple have 13 children, 12 of them are blonde and have blue eyes, 1 has black hair and brown eyes, his name is Peter. One day the wife of the couple is dying of illness, her husband is sitting on her bed. The husband says "Our Peter is different from the other kids, does he have a different father?" His wife says yes. And, the man says, "Then, who is his dad?" Upon which his wife says, "You".

A black man, a blue man, a green man, a pink man, a red man and yellow man walk into a bar...

The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here. Too much Risk."

Blue joke, A black man, a blue man, a green man, a pink man, a red man and yellow man walk into a bar...

What's blue and not very heavy?

Light blue.

Whats blue and doesn't fit anymore

A dead epileptic

What's both blue and purple and never seen again?

This thread :/

Old one I've never seen on here

This joke was in a book I had as a young child, probably from the 70s or 80s. It's so ridiculous, I remember it to this day.

Q: How do you kill a blue elephant?

A: Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you kill a white elephant?

A: Hold its nose until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

You can explore blue voilets reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean blue pink dad jokes. There are also blue puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Did you know Avatar is a sequel to Titanic?

It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying.

Obligatory

So my friend had some issue with his hearing....

My friend was having some issues with his hearing, so he booked a doctor's appointment. The doctor checked him over and had a look in his ears. The doctor said "okay. So, describe the symptoms". My friend said "well, there's homer. He's the dad. And there's Marge, she's got big blue hair..."

Purple is my favorite color!

I like it more than blue and red combined.

The Philippines is the only country in the world who turns its flag upside down during times of war

while French people remove the red and blue colour

I went to the doctors with hearing problems...

He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"
So I replied "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"

Blue joke, I went to the doctors with hearing problems...

Roses are Red, Violets are blue......

who killed harambe?

Cincinnati zoo

An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him.

He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man Just stared.

Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.

A Poem

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Stop memes about Harambe

-Cincinnati Zoo


Roses are red, Violets are blue

I have Alzheimer's

To get to the other side

My mate told me yesterday that he's started dating twins!

I asked how he could tell which one is which.

He said, 'Well, Andrea is really, really attractive - she has long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and plump red lips. Plus she's got a really nice body. Pretty much a perfect ten.

And Brian has a cock.'

Clinton's blue firewall...

About as secure as her private email server.

I asked my wife for sex recently...

She said, "No, it's a super moon, not a blue one".

Which color confuses an idiot?

Blue

Blue Guy lives in the blue house, red guy lives in the red house, purple guy lives in the purple house, orange guy...

Lives in the White House.

Roses are red, Violets are blue

Hitler blew an 11 country lead during World War 2

Why do police officers wear blue?

Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.

What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue Paint.

My friend told me he hated blue cheese because it's literally just cheese with bacteria.

I told him to stop discriminating against other cultures.

Green chameleon for sale...

No, a red one.

No, blue.

No wait, a pink one.

Cool.

Never mind, I'm keeping it!

The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court

The game would be cancelled.

TIL the American flag on the moon has turned into the French flag.

Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.

I asked my buddy if he always puts an orange wedge in his beer.

He said, "Ehh not really. Maybe once in a Blue Moon."

A teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence.

"The sky is definitely blue," said one girl.
"Nice try but the sky can be black or purple or even orange," replied the teacher.
"The grass is definitely green," said a little boy.
"Well... The grass can be brown too."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
"Yes Johnny?"
"Are farts solid?" asked little Johnny.
Finding this an odd question she was slightly shocked, but answered anyway, "No Johnny."
"Well I definitely pooped my pants."

*Fantastic Ocean Life Facts* The Blue Whale is by far the world's largest animal...

...it's so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.

Doctor... there's something wrong with my hearing!

Describe the symptoms....

Uh...Well Marge has blue hair....homer is fat...

Dad, why did you and mom choose this name?

"You see Blue, its the anagram of something your mom loves as much as you"
And why is my sister called Lana ?
"For the same reason."

Went to see my doctor about a blocked ear

He asked me to describe the symptoms.
I said homer is a fat bloke and marge has blue hair

What are the two problems with the French flag?

The red bit and the blue bit.

Online classified ad

Premature ejaculator in need of smoking hot size 6 blonde.

Preferably with blue eyes and huge double d....

Nevermind.

It's ironic that in America, red white and blue stands for freedom...

... unless they're flashing behind you.

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!

"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!

"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.

And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of him!

"I wish for a meat shower!" The second dinosaur said.

And so the genie made all different sorts of meats from different animals rain from a small cloud above the dinosaur's head.

Not wanting to be outdone by his friends the third dinosaur quickly tries to think of something better.

"I wish for a meatier shower!"

Dad joke: What's blue and doesn't weigh very much?

Light blue.

Stalin appears to Putin in a dream

He says to Putin: "I have two bits of advice for you: kill off all your opponents and paint the Kremlin blue."

Putin asks, "Why blue?"

Stalin replies, "I knew you would not object to the first one."

What's blue and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?

A really fast apple.

A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".

The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"

The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"

What's blue and smells like red paint?







blue paint.

Whats blue and isn't heavy?

Light blue

Doctor, doctor

A man goes into the doctors and says "doctor doctor I think I'm going deaf" and the doctor says "can you describe the symptoms" and he says "yes, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair"

Purple is my least favourite color

I hate it more than red and blue combined.

How often should you put an orange slice in your beer?

Once, in a Blue Moon.

I asked a girl whether she would date a blue-collar man like me

She said blue or white don't matter, she's collar blind.

What do you call a person who studies the color blue?

A cyantologist.

My Bluetooth speaker wasn't working so I threw it into the lake...

Now it's syncing.

If a blue bird has blue babies

And a red bird has red babies
What bird has no babies?


Swallows

If a red house is made out of red bricks, a blue house is made out of blue bricks, a yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, a brown house is made out of brown bricks.. what's a green house made out of?

Glass.

I was walking by a pond and saw a blue heron.

I asked, you crane? He answered, "I think I'm Russian now."

I told my Dr. I only smoke once every blue moon….

The problem is my refrigerator is full of them.

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag.

Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."

"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."

A wolf and A donkey were arguing about the color of the grass.

The wolf was saying: the grass is green.

The donkey was saying: the grass is blue.



They went to the king of the jungle to judge between them.

The lion king has ordered to send the wolf to jail.



The wolf asked the lion: isn't the grass green?

The lion said: yes.

The wolf said: then why did you put me in jail?

The lion said: I didn't put you in jail because you were wrong, I put you in jail because you were arguing with a donkey.

How do you make a pig blue?

Pigment.

What does a pig put on a scrape?


Oinkment.

I ordered a beer at a restaurant that was served with an orange slice.

I told the server "i dont always put an orange in my beer, just once in a Blue Moon.

How do you sing the national anthem of the United Arab Emirates?

I'm Blue, Abu Dhabi, Dubai
Abu Dhabi and Dubai
Abu Dhabi, Dubai...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the blue blue hair jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working blue blue monday piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes