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Blue Hair Jokes

74 blue hair jokes and hilarious blue hair puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blue hair that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Blue Hair Short Jokes

Short blue hair jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blue hair humour may include short brown hair jokes also.

  1. I went to the doctors with hearing problems... He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"
    So I replied "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"
  2. Doctor, doctor A man goes into the doctors and says "doctor doctor I think I'm going deaf" and the doctor says "can you describe the symptoms" and he says "yes, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair"
  3. Went to see my doctor about a blocked ear He asked me to describe the symptoms.
    I said homer is a fat bloke and marge has blue hair
  4. Doctor... there's something wrong with my hearing! Describe the symptoms....
    Uh...Well Marge has blue hair....homer is fat...
  5. I went to the doctors about my hearing.. I went to the doctors about my hearing and the doctors asked me "Can you describe the symptoms?"
    I said "Yeah, Homer's fat and Marge has blue hair"
  6. A man goes to the doctor Man: doctor I'm having problems with my hearing
    Doc: can you describe the symptoms?
    Man: marge has blue hair and homer is a fat guy
  7. What do you call several blonde hair blue-eyed men doing the 100 meter dash? The superior race
  8. My kid damaged my iphone so I am giving it away He is 3 years old, blue eyes, blue hair...
  9. Guy goes to the doctor with hearing problems... Doctor: Can you describe the symptoms?
    Guy: Yeah, Homers the fat one and Marge has big blue hair
  10. Went to the doctors yesterday... ..I said: "doc, im having problems with my hearing"...."really? Can you describe the symptons?" he replied I said "yes, Marge has blue hair and Homers a fat bloke"

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Blue Hair One Liners

Which blue hair one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blue hair? I can suggest the ones about red hair and blue eyed.

  1. What do you call a blond-haired, blue-eyed guy who is well-endowed? A Hung-Ariyan.
  2. What has blonde hair, blue eyes and tends to ailed animals? A VeterinArian.
  3. I've just bought some blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm saving them for a special Caucasian.
  4. What happens when the store runs out of blue hair dye? The feminists switch to green
  5. I hate people who make fun of my blond hair and blue eyes They are so master-racist

Hilarious Fun Blue Hair Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about blue hair you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blue eyes jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blue hair pranks.

A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?"
His friend nods. "Sure."
"Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..."
He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin.
His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment.
"Dude, that is not cool."
The doctor, indignant, defended himself.
"What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients."
His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."

The speeder

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard--I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper

"Have a good day, sir"


He got his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights
flashing and siren blaring.
He floored it to 100mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes.
Today is Friday.
If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the Trooper

An old man was sitting on a bench ...

A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair coloured green, red, orange, blue and yellow.
The old man just stared. The young man said: " What's the matter, old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
The old man replied: " Got drunk once and had s**... with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son. "

Little Hamish McLain fell asleep under a tree...

His friend Glenna saw him napping and tried to wake him but he didn't budge. She had always wondered if it was true that Scotsmen don't wear anything under their kilts so she lifted it up and took a peek. Sure enough, there was nothing under the kilt save Hamish's bare skin. Before she left, she decided to leave him a little hint she had been there so she pulled a pretty blue ribbon from her hair and tied it around his John Thomas.
When Hamish awoke he trotted off home where he found his mother had prepared a warm bath. As he was u**... his mother noticed the little blue ribbon.
"Oh, Hamish!" she exlaimed. "I don't know where you've been or what you've been doing, but I'm sure glad you took first place."

Two guys meet at the store.

Two guys, one old, one young,
are pushing their carts around the grocery store
when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy,
"Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
and I guess I wasn't paying attention
to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too...
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well,
maybe I can help you find her...
what does she look like?"
The young guy says,
"Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall,
with red hair,
blue eyes, is buxom wearing no bra,
long legs,
and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter,
--- let's look for yours."

A kilted Scotsman

was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to nap against a tree.
As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud snoring. When they found him, one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."
She boldly walked over to the sleeper, raised his kilt, and saw that he wore nothing at all. Her friend said, "Well, the mystery is solved! Let's thank him for sharing!" She took off her pretty blue hair ribbon and gently tied it around the Scotsman's endowment.
A while later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature. He raised his kilt and was bewildered at the sight of the neatly tied blue ribbon. He stared for a minute, then said, "I don't know where y'been laddie... but it's nice ta see you won firrrst prrrize!"

Wild adventures

An old man keeps staring at a dude having streaks of blue, red, pink, yellow colored hair while waiting at a bus stop.
The intrigued dude asks "Hey oldie, haven't you done anything wild when you was young?"
To which the old man "Yea. I did a peacock back then, was wondering if you are my son"

Missing wives.

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around- WalMart when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, Doesn't matter, let's look for yours."

The Old Man & The Trooper

A senior citizen drove his brand new Lexus convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road and onto the highway, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down the interstate pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Lexus, looked at the old man, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, it's Friday and my shift ends in 30 minutes. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused........ Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the Trooper.

Two Guys Both Lose Their Wives In A Grocery Store

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the grocery store when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that.
I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's okay, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"
"Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing a tank top with short white shorts.
What does your wife look like?"
The old guy replies, "It doesn't matter, let's look for yours."

Peter is different

A couple have 13 children, 12 of them are blonde and have blue eyes, 1 has black hair and brown eyes, his name is Peter. One day the wife of the couple is dying of illness, her husband is sitting on her bed. The husband says "Our Peter is different from the other kids, does he have a different father?" His wife says yes. And, the man says, "Then, who is his dad?" Upon which his wife says, "You".

Dining at the Mall.....

I took my Dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 66).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours - green, red, orange, and blue.
My Dad kept staring at her.
The teenager kept looking and would find my Dad staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, she sarcastically asked:
"What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response.
I knew he would have a good one!
In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid ....
"Got s**... once and s**... a Peacock. I was just wondering
if you were my daughter"

English Joke - Boy or Girl

1st: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
2nd: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
1st: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
2nd: I'm not. I'm her mother.

Looking for a wife

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the grocery store when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's okay, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"
"Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing a tank top with short white shorts. What does your wife look like?"
The old guy replies, "It doesn't matter, let's look for yours."

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall...

A young man walked up to the bench and sat down with the old man . He had spiked hair in all different colors : green , red , orange , blue and yellow
The old man just stared at the young man
Every time the young man looked , The old man was staring
Young man : What's the matter old timer , Never done anything wild your life?
Without batting an eye , The old man replied , "Got drunk once and had s**... with a parrot , I was wondering if you were my son".

A story about my first time

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what she wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing my hands on her breast.
I remember my fear my fast beating heart
But slowly she spread her legs apart
And when I did it I felt no shame.
All at once the white stuff came
At last it's finished it's all over now
My first time ever at milking a cow...

A dad goes to the mall

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life? Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.
"Got drunk once, and had s**... with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

So my friend had some issue with his hearing....

My friend was having some issues with his hearing, so he booked a doctor's appointment. The doctor checked him over and had a look in his ears. The doctor said "okay. So, describe the symptoms". My friend said "well, there's homer. He's the dad. And there's Marge, she's got big blue hair..."

The sky was blue, the moon was high, we were together, just her and I...

The sky was blue, the moon was high, we were together, just her and I.
Her hair was brown, her eyes baby blue, I knew exactly what she wanted to do.
And so, with courage, I did my best and laid my hand upon her breast.
Her face was light, her body fine, I ran my finger down her spine.
I trembled in shock, I felt her heart, slowly she spread her legs apart.
I knew she was ready... but I didn't know how, for this was my first experience at milking a cow.

Sweetheart, you remind me the sea.

>Why? is it because of my beautiful blue eyes reminding you the ocean's water?
No
>I know, it's because of my curly hair, reminds you the waves.
Not really.
>So it's my perfume? reminds you that fresh air near the beach?
Nope.
>So what is it then?
You make me sick.

An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him.

He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man Just stared.
Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had s**... with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.

A Scotsman is tending his flock of sheep... (long)

when he decides to take a nap under a nearby tree.
After he falls asleep, a young woman walking on a nearby road decides to play a joke on him.
She lifts up his kilt, takes a ribbon from her hair, ties it around his manhood, and leaves with a giggle.
After awhile the Scotsman wakes up and walks over by the bushes to take a wee.
He lifts up his kilt and is amazed to see a bright blue ribbon tied around his manhood.
without skipping a beat he says "well I don't know where you've been laddie, but I can see you won first prize!"

My mate told me yesterday that he's started dating twins!

I asked how he could tell which one is which.
He said, 'Well, Andrea is really, really attractive - she has long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and plump red lips. Plus she's got a really nice body. Pretty much a perfect ten.
And Brian has a c**....'

"Doctor, doctor! I think I'm going deaf."

"Well, describe the symptoms for me." said the Doctor.
"Alright," said the patient "Well, Marge has blue hair and Homer's bald."

What did the blonde haired, blue eyed soldier become when he left the army?

A veteran a**....

I asked a blonde haired, blue eyed soldier what he wanted to do after the military...

He said he just wants to get back home.
He wants to be a veteran a**....

My pops favourite joke.

An old man starts to lose his hearing, and goes to the doctors to be diagnosed.
The doctor says to the man, "can you describe to me the symptoms?"
The man replied "yes, Marge has tall blue hair and Homer is an alcoholic."

I told my doctor I´d got hearing problems

He said "describe the symptoms"
I said "Homer´s a fat bloke, drinks beer, and Marge has got blue hair"

Where is my wife

A young man and an old man bumped shopping carts at the grocery store.
Young man: I am sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. I was looking for my wife.
Old man : Sorry. I was also looking for my wife.
Young man: Well maybe we can look together. My wife is 24. She is 5'2". She has short black hair. She is wearing a pink tube top and blue Jeans. What does your wife look like?
Old man: It doesn't matter. Lets look for yours.

My doctor said "I understand you are experiencing hearing problems. Please describe the symptoms. "

So I told him that Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair.

I went to my doctor today and told him I was having problems with my hearing…

He said, Can you describe the symptoms?
I said, They're yellow, Homer's fat, and Marge has blue hair.

My doctor asked me about the symptoms

I answered: "Well, Marge has blue hair and Homer is fat.

I go to the Doctor

Title:
Doctor: I understand you're experiencing hearing difficulties. Please describe the symptoms.
Text:
Patient: Well, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair.

Hard of Hearing

I went to the Doctors yesterday as my ears were a bit blocked and I couldn't hear too well.
The Doctor asked if I could describe the symptoms, I told him the Father is called Homer and is fat and his wife is called Marge with big blue hair.

What did the Asian man say to his wife when the hospital nursery tried to send them home with a blonde hair, blue-eye baby?

Hmmm... two Wongs don't make a white.

Can you speak into my good ear? Doh!

A man goes to the doctor and tells the doctor he is having trouble hearing. the doctor asks him to describe the symptoms. The man replies "Homer is the fat guy and his wife is marge with the blue hair..."

The sky was dark, the moon was high, we were together, just her and I.

The sky was dark, the moon was high, we were together, just her and I.
Her hair was brown, her eyes were blue, I knew just what, she wanted to do.
So with my hand, I did my best, I ran my hand across her chest.
Her body was good, her hair was fine, I ran my hand across her spine, I felt a shock, I felt her heart, slowly she spread her legs apart,
I knew she was ready, but I didn't know how, for this was my first time milking a cow.
(A poem by u/loman23.)

I'm a 'rare' blonde-haired blue-eyed j**.... h**... would love me…

… if I was 'well done'.

I went to the Doctors about a hearing problem. He asked what symptoms I was getting...

I said "Homer is a fat guy and Marge has big blue hair".

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a child with blonde hair and blue eyes?

I guess two Wongs really do make a white.

The man with the big feet lives in the red house, the man with the big ears in the green house, the man with the long hair in blue house, where does the man with the small wein live?

My house

The teacher tells the students:

You have to tell me what part of my body do you like the most, and I will tell you what will you be when you grow up. Let's see, Paul, which part of my body do you like the most?
I love your long hair, teacher.
Nice, Paul! You will be a hairdresser when you grow up. And you, Peter, what is your favourite part?
My favourite part of you are your teeth, teacher.
You will be a dentist, Peter, when you grow up. William, it's your turn.
I really like your blue eyes, teacher.
You will be a very good oculist when you grow up, William. And you, Johnny, which part of my body do you like the most?
I think I don't need to say it. I just found out I want to be a milkman when older!

A man goes to the doctor

"Doctor," he says, "I'm worried that I might be losing my hearing."
"Oh," replies the doctor, "can you describe the symptoms?"
"Of course," says the man, "Homer's a fat idiot and Marge has big blue hair."

What do you call a blonde-haired, blue-eyed person who served in the military?

A veterinarian.

A warning to other Men.

A pair of thieves is operating outside of Home Depot. Two young blonde hair, blue-eyed 20 year-olds have been pretending that their car has broken down, and need a ride home. Once the mark has let them into the vehicle, they begin to kiss and caress each other. They moan and grind against each other, all while thanking the person for the ride home. After a few moments, the girls get out of the car and run off, having stolen any loose valuables in sight.
They have robbed me 4 times in the last three days.

Man on his death bed

A man is on his death bed looking at his family wich contains of a wife, 2 older boys with bright red hair and freckles, and 1 younger boy with dark brown hair and blue eyes.
He asks his boys to go out of the room so he can ask his wife something. Sweetheart tell me before I die, is our youngest child really mine? She said yes and he took his last breath and passed away.
The newly widowed woman said under her breath Thank god he didn't ask about the other two

What's the difference between a plastic bag and a blue haired girl

What's the difference between a plastic bag and a blue haired girl
It takes a plastic bag thousands of years to break down but blue haired girls can breakdown in a second.

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, brown eyes, are wearing blue shorts, have a big brother, are 28 years old and your favourite movie is The Shining?

The Specific Ocean

A couple has 4 sons

The first three were tall with straight brown hair and brown eyes, but their youngest son was short with curly blond hair and blue eyes. When the husband was on his deathbed, he called his wife over and asked, "Is that 4th son mine?"
His wife said, "I swear, on all things holy, that child is yours."
The husband died a few moments later. She said to herself, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."

A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".

The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"

This is probably the only funny joke I know.

I went to the doctor the other day because I was having hearing problems.
He told me to describe my symptoms.
I told him, "Sure. They're yellow. Homer's fat and Marge has blue hair."

I tried to kill a spider by spraying it with a whole can of White Rain hair spray

But that didn't work, now it's wearing blue eye shadow and chain smoking Virginia Slims.

A guy walks into a bar

He saw an attractive girl waving at him, but he's not so sure so he looks around to make sure that's him she's waving to.
The girl walks to him and said: "Hello!"
She was so beautiful with blonde hair blue eyes, but he can't remember knowing her.
"I'm sorry, do I know you?" - he asks.
"Yes, you're one of my kids' father!"
Now he panics, and recalls to that one time he cheated on his wife.
"Are you that stripper on my bachelor's party where we had s**... on the bar counter and all of my friends saw you spanked me?"
"k**..., but no, I'm your kid's teacher!"

jokes about blue hair