Blows Jokes
117 blows jokes and hilarious blows puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blows that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you want to know what blows harder than a hairdryer? Funny jokes! Read this article to laugh at the funniest jokes that will blow you away.
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Funniest Blows Short Jokes
Short blows jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blows humour may include short blowing jokes also.
- I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.
- A house of cards is really fragile One blow from a little kid and it all comes tumbling down
- I like to stand in the corner of my psychiatrist's waiting room and blow on anyone who walks by... Most people hate it, but I'm a fan...
- James Bond always holds his farts while in bed Otherwise he would blow his cover.
(Look I'm not funny this was my first and only attempt so sorry X\_X) - Photographers are so violent. They'll frame you, shoot you, blow you up and then hang you.
- I asked my girlfriend to 68 today She said What's that?
I said That's when you blow me and I owe you one. - The Nintendo 64 turns 18 this week... Which means you can now legally blow the cartridges.
- Buzzfeed employee is diagnosed with stage 2 brain cancer Doctor: Number 4 will blow your mind.
- Inventor displays the first knife ever. His friend, "that's the greatest invention since bread"
Inventor, "well I'm about to blow your mind" - I'm sick of my wife blowing everything out of proportion. She's single handedly ruining my balloon animal business.
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Blows One Liners
Which blows one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blows? I can suggest the ones about blew and blown.
- The Nintendo 64 turned 18 today Now you can legally blow the cartridges.
- What food makes women stop giving blow jobs? Wedding cake
- Why did the vegetarian hate giving blow jobs? She was a lesbian.
- How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone? Put it into airplane mode.
- My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she's hot, but honestly I'm not a fan.
- Why did the fan blow itself? Because it was turned on!
- My girlfriend doesn't like it when I ask her to blow cool air on me She is not a fan.
- Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the ref was blowing fouls
- I quite enjoy blowing air around a room. In fact, I'm a big fan.
- Saw two druggies having a '69' in the park earlier on. He was on crack, she was on blow.
- I like my women like I like my grenades Hanging around my belt and ready to blow.
- I just read John F Kennedy's biography The end was mind blowing
- What do you call a principal who gives good blow jobs? A headmaster.
- 1 in 6 people... find Russian roulette mind blowing.
- What do female reindeer do for fun? Go into town and blow a couple hundred bucks.
Wind Blows Jokes
Here is a list of funny wind blows jokes and even better wind blows puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call iron blowing in the wind? Fe-breeze
- What do you call an anime fan blowing in the wind? A tumble weeb
- Why is there gold blowing through the wind? Because it's August.
- Fun Fact: Spiders can tell the difference between someone blowing on their web and the wind. But that may just be because the wind isn't warm and sticky...
- An egg sits perfectly balanced on the apex of a roof, the wind blows south, which way does the egg fall? Down. The egg falls down.
- We are the sand. The wind will blow us. The ocean will beat us. Life is a beach.
- What do you call a gust of wind that blows a black guy off of a boat? The NBA draft
- Did you guys hear the joke about wind? I hope you didn't. It really blows.
- 2016 is like a crisp autumn wind on a clear day in Venice It blows.
(Get well soon Carrie) - My wife is like a desert wind She rarely blows, but when she does it's dry.
Blows Harder Than Jokes
Here is a list of funny blows harder than jokes and even better blows harder than puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I don't know if I can handle the intensity My wife just told me she was going to blow me harder then the falcons 28-3 lead.
- Two Hindus where at a party... The first Hindu says, hey, this party blows harder than a snake charmer on the brink of unemployment. How about we get outta here?
The second Hindu replies, namaste
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Blows Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about blows you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wind blowing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blows pranks.
Why are balloons expensive?
Inflation!
I'll see myself out, unless this blows up.
What is the fastest speed you can have s**...?
68 Mph, because once you hit 69...someone blows a rod
A gay deer goes into a bar.....
A gay deer goes into a bar, hangs out for a couple of hours, blows 42 bucks.
What's the difference between a muslim s**...-doll & a christian s**...-doll?
The muslim s**...-doll blows ITSELF up.
A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.
A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.
The guy behind the counter says, Male or female ?
The customer says, Female.
The counter guy asks, Black or white?
The customer says, White.
The counter guy asks, Christian or Muslim?
The customer says, What does religion have to do with it?
The counter guy says, The Muslim one blows itself up.
My car can only go 68...
if it goes 69 the engine blows a rod.
Why is Oklahoma so windy?
Because Kansas s**..., and Texas blows
Why is Chicago called the Windy City?
Because Indiana s**... and Wisconsin blows
A woman walks into a s**... shop
She tells the clerk she wants a s**... doll.
He says" First off, do you want a man or a woman?"
Sey replies "A man"
Then he asks " Black or white"
She replies "White"
Finally he asks "Christian or Muslum"
She asks" what's the difference?"
He says" Well the Muslum blows itself up"
What is the fastest speed a woman can go ?
68, because when she turns 69 she blows a rod.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar...
... and each order a beer. As the beers are set down on the table three flies fly into the bar and land in the beer, one in each glass. The Englishman pushes his beer away and orders another. The Irishman blows the foam off the top of his beer along with the fly and drinks the beer. The Scotsman picks up the fly by the wings and says "Alrright ya wee bastarrd, spit it out."
BLONDES BLOW IT
Q: What's it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.
A lifeguard blows his whistle at a little boy and asks him to come over...
He says to the boy, "Hey, you're not allowed to pee in the pool."
"That's not fair!" says the boy, "There must be dozens of people peeing in the pool every day! Why do you gotta pick on me?"
The lifeguard says, "Well most people don't do it off the diving board."
It's my coworkers last day...
A coworker is leaving this weekend to become a firefighter. We're throwing him a farewell party and want to have a funny pun written on the wall. Something like "seeing you leave really blows" but instead have it somehow relate to becoming a firefighter.
I know you guys can help us out. Thanks!
The only thing my girl friend blows
Is everything out of proportion
Blow-up dolls
I went to my local s**... shop last night to get a new blow-up doll. As I was looking at them the clerk came up to me and asked if I needed help?
I said yes and he asked if I wanted a male or female?
I said a female and he asked blonde or brunette?
I said blonde. Then he asked Muslim or Christian?
I asked what's the difference?
He said the Muslim blows itself up.
Bought a Muslim s**... doll today
It blows itself up.
Went to a s**... shop today
Said to the guy at the counter if they had any s**... dolls...
He replied "do you want a white one or Muslim one?"
I asked what the difference was as he replied "the Muslim one blows itself up!".
Pumping up his stomach
A little boy walks in on his parents having s**... and the mother throws on a robe and rushes him out of the room. "I was just hopping on daddy's big belly to make it smaller" she says, but the little boy tells her "That's useless because every time you go shopping the neighbor lady comes and gets on her knees and blows it right back up!"
Child walks in on parents in c**...
Mummy and Daddy are having s**... and their beautiful child walks in. Flustered, Mummy leaps off the bed (and off her husband) and wittingly tries to console what she thinks is her scarred son.
son: mummy, what's going on?
mum: oh son! I was just helping your daddy to flatten his belly
son: but why mummy? there's no point. the nanny just comes and blows it back up again.
You know pornstar are really violent people...
Everything always comes to blows.
"Have you heard about the new rule in boxing?"
... James asked his friend Jake. Jake hadn't.
- Basically, to reduce the number of blows under the belt that boxers deliver and receive, their outfits will feature a line just above the waist that they must aim for with every hit.
- What? That's ridiculous! Is there something written on it?
- Of course! __This is the punchline__."
Being football fans ... Why do all the trees in Wisconsin lean to the south ?
Because Minnesota blows & Chicago s**...
A fight broke out at the bubble-making contest.
It came to blows.
What's the resemblance between a bungeejump and a african w**...?
If the rubber blows, you're dead
How does a female deer get revenge on her cheating husband?
She goes into town and blows a few bucks!
Boy sees mother on top having s**... with father
Mother says: Son, I'm sitting on this because your father has a big belly so I'm trying to flatten it.
Son says: You're then wasting your time, mum. Every time that you are out, the neighbour comes in and blows it back again.
Did you hear about the two gay guys that got into a fight at the bar?
They went out to the parking lot to exchange blows.
A pirate walks into a brothel and says...
"ARG! THERE SHE BLOWS!"
What did the pirate say when he walked into the brothel?
arggg! thar she blows
My ex-wife is like a tornado
First she blows, then she s**..., then she took my house and dog.
Whats the difference between a Christian and a Muslim?
One blows up kids, the other gets blown by them.
A little boy walks in on his parents having s**....
"Mommy, why are you on top of Daddy?" he says. The mom thinks fast and says "Well, your daddy has a big belly, so sometimes I get on top of him and try to flatten it out." The boy says "well that will never work." "Why?" says the mom. "Because when you go out shopping on Saturdays, the lady next door comes over and blows it right back up again."
What do you call someone who blows himself up by accident?
An Errorist!
The iPhone 7 may be revolutionary and everything....
But the Samsung Note 7 blows you away.
My girlfriend is like the Samsung Note7
She blows up at any given moment.
I traded my blowup doll in for a middle eastern version..
It blows itself up..
If this Hillary case blows up...
It will be the second time a w**... has ruined the presidency for a Clinton
A little kid walks into his parents' bedroom while they're having s**...
The little boy asked, "What are you doing?"
His mother explains, "Your dad was full of air, so I was jumping on him to get it out."
The boy says, "That's really funny. Whenever you go out for work, your sister comes and blows him right back up."
A Guy Walks Into A s**... Shop....
He asks for a blow up doll.
And the owner asks male or female?
He says male please.
The owner then asks white or black?
He says white please.
The owner finally asks American or Muslim?
The guy asks what's the difference??
The owner replies, the Muslim blows itself up.
I bought a fan today...
It blows, man.
This morning I woke up to a b**....
Oh wait, my job blows every morning.
Radical Muslims
I'm really hoping this thread blows up now...
You know how they say men think with their p**...?
Yeah your wife blows my mind every night
My daughter's got an interview for a job working in the adult entertainment industry today…
I hope she blows it…
68?
I asked my wife if she wanted to 68. That's when she blows me and i owe her one.
A rookie cop is sent to monitor a speed trap for hours...
Finally near the end of his shift a car blows by at 80 mph. He pulls over a teenager and tells him, "I waited all day for you to get here."
The teenager replies: "I got here as fast as I could."
I love it when my girlfriend says men think with their p**...
That woman blows my mind
My Arabic s**... doll
blows itself up
Did you ever realize that the colours on the LGBT flag are actually all straight
Unless it blows?
What's the difference between having the same job for 20 years and having the same wife for 20 years?
The job still blows.
These two guys started arguing in the local gay bar...
It got really n**... and the bouncer escorted them out the door to finish their dispute where they could no longer break any more bar furniture or fixtures.
The two gay dudes went out into the parking lot where they exchanged blows.
A gay deer walks into a bar
And he blows 50 bucks
Mommy, I saw you jumping on daddy's belly last night.
Yes, we were trying to get rid of daddy's big belly. I jump on him so all the air would come out.
Aha, I know why it isn't working then – the woman from next door comes every afternoon when you go shopping and blows all the air back into him again.
Little Johnny walks in on his parents having s**...
He asks, "Mommy, what are you doing to Daddy?"
She thinks fast and says "Daddy's too fat, so I'm trying to flatten him out".
"Why bother? Every Tuesday the maid comes in and blows him back up again!"
What do you call a pirate p**...?
Darcey Blows!
A woman is pushing her baby in a stroller thru the park...
...when she sees a friend of hers smoking a cigarette. She walks up to him and asks how he is, and says "I thought you gave up smoking for good?" The man says "I did, now I smoke for evil." and blows smoke in the baby's face and walks away.
What's the difference between a woman with a cold and a p**... with a photographic memory?
One blows her nose, one knows her blows
Isis sent me a s**... doll today
It's great! It blows it self up.
A little boy caught his mom riding his dad.
The little boy said, Mom what are you doing?
She said, Son, your daddy's stomach is too big so I sit on top to flatten it out.
He said, Aw momma you're wasting your time because when you're not here the lady next door gets on her knees and blows it back up!
Two gay guys got into a fight at a bar...
Then went outside to exchange blows.
What do you call it when someone blows up a Chinese restaurant?
Wonton destruction.
A woman gets on a double decker bus.
She steps onto the bus and begins her ascent to the upper deck and a hefty gust of wind comes in and blows her dress up.
The bus driver, looking up the steps at her says but airy up there ma'am
To which she replies, what'd you expect, feathers?
Home depot is the best brothel
The vacuum s**..., the fan blows, the hammer bangs and they have plenty of pots to plant your seed.
A man walks into a s**... toy shop
and asks for an inflatable doll. The clerk asks "regular or Muslim?"
The man asks "what's the difference?"
"The Muslim doll blows itself up" the clerk replies.
Men's brains
My girlfriend told me that Men's brains are all in their p**.... I told her that I like it when she blows my mind.
I just bought a new hat...
...with a built-in fan that keeps my head cool during hot weather.
It really blows my mind.
A couple of Italian guys are discussing who, if they could choose any woman in the world, they'd rather bang
One of them says some big name actress, the other says "Virginia Pippilini."
The first guy's like, "Who's that? Is she a model?"
"I don't know"
"Actress?"
"I don't know."
"Singer?"
"I don't know."
"Well if you don't know, why choose her?"
The guy pulls out a newspaper and points to the headline. "Virginia Pipeline blows 50 men dead."
What does a train conductor do when he's angry?
He blows off some steam
My 80yr old grandmother had her n**... pierced the other day...
now every time the wind blows she sounds like a couple of wind chimes!
How do viking ships communicate with each other?
Norse code
I'm gonna keep making these jokes until one blows up
Why are flags the most e**... of cloths?
Because when the wind blows, they do pole dances.
A blonde man is convinced his wife is having an affair...
He buys a gun, comes home early from work, and sure enough there is his wife and another man, n**... in bed. Without a word the blonde man pulls out the gun and blows the guy away. Looking his wife in the eyes he puts the gun to his head and starts pulling the trigger. No! No! Honey don't! The wife screams. The blonde man says Shut up! You're next!
If you find a bomb that blows up when stepped on, please let me know.
It's mine.
4 catholic priests are sharing a private compartment on a train
They decided to confess their biggest flaw to each other.
The first priest confesses that he spends most of the church money on booze.
The second priest explains that he blows the church collection betting on horses.
The third priest confesses that he spends the church takings on drugs.
They have opened their souls and revealed their deepest secrets. They look to the last priest and he says "I am a gossip and I can't wait to get off this train".
A guy walks into an adult toy store.
He walks up to the clerk and says, I'd like to buy a blow up doll." The clerk asks, "Male or female?" "Female." "Black or white" "White." "Christian or Muslim?" Curious, the guy says, "Muslim." "Regular or radicalized extremist?" The clerk asks. "What's the difference?" the guy says. "The radicalized extremist blows itself up."
Which month really blows?
August
Two Iranian soldiers find a couple of American rockets while on patrol
One says: "they probably fell without blowing up, lets load them up and take them back to base"
The other says: "But what if one of them blows up on the way back?"
He replies: "We will tell them we only found one"
A woman goes to dump her dads ashes in the ocean to fulfill his wishes.
When she tries to pour the ashes into the ocean, the wind blows the ash back into her eyes.
She hears her dad say "Whats wrong, you cant sea?"
