The Best 87 Blown Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Blown jokes. There are some blown proportion jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these blown jihad puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Blown Jokes and Puns

Did you hear about the guy at the gun store who got fired?

He went ballistic.

Did you hear about the apartment building that got blown up? There were roomers everywhere.

Bob: Do you know why my pool exploded?
Joe: Na.

Did you hear about the power plant employee that went on a shooting spree? People say he went melted down and went nuclear.

Why do men give their jackets to women when its cold?

Because it hurts to get blown by chattering teeth

Snooki's kind of like Hurricane Sandy...

She's large, slow-moving, an has blown just about everyone in the Jersey Shore.

Blown joke, Snooki's kind of like Hurricane Sandy...

How are men like fuses?

Once they're blown, they're useless.

What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up?

Oh My Gourd!


A photographer shot his subject with a Canon.

She was blown away.

Two deer walk out of a gay bar.

One looks to another and says,."I must've blown 20 bucks in there."

Blown joke, Two deer walk out of a gay bar.

Hey billy jokes?

Need some more Billy & Highliner Jokes.

One is "Hey billy you ever been to sea"

"No Captain Highliner but I have been blown ashore"

A penguin takes his car to a garage.

The mechanic tells him it will take about an hour to diagnose the problem. So, the penguin decides to go next door to the ice cream shop for a treat while he waits.

He returns about an hour later and the mechanic tells him. "It looks like you've blown a seal."

The penguin wipes his beak and says, "I did not. I was eating ice cream."

Got head from a Midget last night...

I guess you could say I was blown out of proportion...

How did the media know JFK was cheating on his wife?

They saw him getting blown in the back seat.

You can explore blown blower reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean blown fuses dad jokes. There are also blown puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A Penguin takes his car to a mechanic

The mechanic says that it may take a while so the penguin goes across the road to get an ice cream.
Because penguins have little fins instead of hands he gets ice cream all over his beak.
When he returns to the mechanic the mechanic, dusting off his hands, says, "looks like you've blown a seal" to which the penguin says, "Oh, no. Its just ice cream."

You ever hear what happened to Sally?

"You ever hear what happened to sally?"
"Why no, why don't you tell me?"
"She got her arms blown off in a war.."

*silence*.......

"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Not Sally."

You know what is blown out of proportions?

Overweight suicide bombers.

I guess my parents were secret agents all along.

I heard they're getting a divorce because my dad got blown by the mailman.

n Eskimo was out for a drive

An Eskimo is out for a drive one day when his car breaks down and is forced to call a mechanic. Finally the mechanic arrives and he sets to work, looking under the bonnet until he locates the problem. He looks up at the Eskimo and says, "You've blown a seal, mate" to which the Eskimo hastily replies, "No I haven't! That's just frost on my moustache."

Blown joke, n Eskimo was out for a drive

A penguin's car breaks down

He pulls over to a shop owned by a walrus who tells him he'll look at it. The Penguin takes a stroll and buys a vanilla treat.

The Penguin gets back and the Walrus say

"Looks like you've blown a seal"

The Penguin wipes his chin and says..

"No, No, it's just ice cream."

Why couldn't the soldier feel his legs?

Because his arms were blown off.

This morning I read about that 14 year boy with a clock they thought was a bomb

...I just checked again and it's really blown up since then


People love animals. There's movies where people get blown up and shot. But you kill one puppy...

They ask you to leave the theatre!

What's the difference between JFK and Bill Clinton?

One got his head blown off, the other was assassinated

TIL The chicken crossing the road jokes real meaning

To get to the other side was also a comment on the afterlife, as in the "other side" as in knowing he'd die crossing the road. I'm 37, heard this joke so many times, and not once put this together till now. /mind blown

What begins with an "s", ends with a "x" and leaves a guy blown away?

Semtex.

Bridge blown up

During a drill a bridge is labeled with a sign as blown up. To his anger the drill instructor sees a whole platoon crossing the bridge. The last soldier has a sign on his back. The instructor pulls out his binoculars. The sign reads: We're swimming.

Just saw Elle Fanning.

I was blown away.

"Captain, have you ever made love at sea?"

"No son, but I've been blown ashore many a time."

I love the smell of blown out matches...

Chile vs Mexico was a real treat!

What's the result of tossing a live grenade into a French kitchen?

Linoleum blown apart.

Whats the difference between a Christian and a Muslim?

One blows up kids, the other gets blown by them.

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

What's similar about a shy jihad and a bagpipe

They only make noise once they've been blown up.

Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone?

Because eventually, its cover would be blown.

After the presidential debate, they debate about the debate.

Mind Blown

The hurricane in Haiti is just like having sex with a prostitute.

At least once it's over. Everything is wet. There's a good chance you were blown. You are probably poorer than you were before and there's a good chance you are going to catch a disease.

All these jokes about the note 7 are terrible

But they have really blown up ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)

Did you hear about the kid who got his legs blown off?

He's a whole two feet shorter.

Right when I thought all this news of terrifying clowns had blown over...

... We elect Donald Trump as President

Went to the paper shop...

It had blown away

What do a gay dolphin and a car that leaks oil have in common?

Chances are, both have blown a seal

2 weeks building a greenhouse for my herbs only to see it blown away in freak winds

What a waste of thyme!

Have you ever blown Bubbles when you were younger?

Well he's back in town and had asked about you!

TIL that elephants fart

I was blown away!

What do you call a french terrorist?

Napoleon Blown apart

I just won a farting contest.

The judges were blown away.

Life is like a soup

Life is like a soup, you only get blown if you're hot.

Women are like the wind

Sometimes you just get blown and it feels great. Other times things get rough and you lose your house.

Syria has a lot of nice reviews

Everyone says they got blown away.

I have a lot in common with Bambi.

When we were both little we saw one of our parents get blown.

Is Allahu Akbar a good pickup line?

From what I hear, it's always getting guys blown.

An Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman enter a brand new bar.

The Englishman and Scotsman loved it, the Irishman was blown away.

A battery and a light bulb were in a race. Who won?

None of them:
The light bulb was blown away from the short circuit and the battery gave up because it couldn't resist it either.

What do you call a sweater that was blown away by the wind?

A cardi-gone.

(yes, I made this one up this morning)

I gave my Anorexic girlfriend a kite today...

She was blown away.

A man travelling through Arizona stops at a small town and goes into a bar

He stands at the end of the bar and lights up a cigar. As he sips his drink, he stands there quietly blowing smoke rings.

After he's blown nine or ten smoke rings, an angry Indian comes up to him and says, "Listen buddy, if you don't stop calling me names, I'll smash your face in!"

Penguin driving home has car trouble...

A penguin driving home when his car begins to overheat. He parks at a garage and the mechanic says it will be a little bit before he can look at it.
The penguin decides to go across the street and get ice cream. The penguin slops ice cream all over himself from head to toe and returns to the mechanic. The mechanic comes out and says well it looks like you've blown a seal.
The penguin says no it's ice cream, honest.

A magician says to his audience...

A magician says to his audience "I can make myself appear in 100 different places in this room". He says "3, 2, 1, Abracadabra!" Nothing happens so he tries once again, "3, 2, 1, Abracadabra!" Still nothing happens. Flustered he asks to be excused while he checks his handbook. He closes the book and says " Sorry, I've been saying the wrong magic word, 3, 2, 1, Allahu Akbar!" Needless to say his audience was blown away.

Soldier: My legs, my legs! I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!

Medic: That's because your arms have been blown off.๏ปฟ

A lead singer gets blown by a big fan backstage at the end of a concert and all the band members find him naked.

Group: Ewww! Get a room!

Singer: I would if you could fit three blades the size of a jet engine into my living room!

Apparently there's a big scandal about an NBA player getting oral sex from a midget...

but it was blown way out of proportion.

Life is like a bowl of soup.

You only get blown if you are hot.

What did Lieutenant Dan say after getting his new legs blown off?

"Oh, the iron knee!"

Note: Old joke I made up and told friends in high school, before realizing his new legs are not actually made of iron. Hope the joke is still amusing though

What do terrorists and inflatable sex dolls have in common?

They both get blown up to be greeted by virgins.

Penguin.

A penguin goes to get his car fixed at the mechanics on a hot day. Mechanic tells penguin it will be a while, so the penguin goes to the shop across the road and get some yummy vanilla icecream. The penguin returns to the mechanic and the mechanic says "looks like you've blown a seal.". the penguin replies "no it's only icecream."

[OC] How are guys like light bulbs?

They're both out immediately after being blown.

An Italian soldier wakes up in a hospital having been dragged out of the battle.

The doctor walks in and tells the soldier, "I'm sorry to inform you that both your arms and legs we're blown off in the heat of the fight".

The war hero starts to crying like a baby. The doctor peers round at his wife and asks, "do you think he'll be OK?"

She replies, "Would you be OK if you could never talk again?"

Today I found out my neurologist is also a prostitute

Mind blown!

Here's a line you wouldn't hear in a war film.

"I can't feel my legs!"

"That's because your arms were blown off."

I was trying to buy some storm insurance for my camp site, but was refused.

They said, If your tent gets blown away, you won't be covered.

An FBI statistician gave me some advice

I asked him, "I'm flying next week. Do you have any tips on how to lower my chances of being blown up by a bomb smuggled onboard by a terrorist?"

He chewed that one over for a while, then answered "Yes. Smuggle a bomb onboard yourself. I've never seen a case where two separate bombs were on the same plane, so the odds of a terrorist smuggling a second bomb onboard are very low."

I sell balloons for 10p each or if you want them blown up it's 15p.

I've adjusted the price to allow for inflation.

I never knew my mechanic was a psychic

until he loudly announced that I had blown a tranny in my car.

A penguin is driving down the highway when he starts having engine problems.

He pulls into a local mechanic's and the mechanic says, Give me an hour and I'll let you know the problem. The penguin walks out and see an ice cream shop and goes in for a vanilla cone.
An hour later, he walks back to the mechanic's. The mechanic see him coming and meets him at the counter and says, It looks like you've blown a seal.
The penguin wipes his mouth and says, No, no, that's just ice cream.

I've always wanted to see a live performance of "Our American Cousin"

My buddy Abe wouldn't stop raving about it. He kept talking about how his mind was literally blown.

(Get Ready to be Blown Away) What Do You Call A Hospital Full Of Sick Doctors?

**A Staff Infection** *massive applause*

I've blown over 50 men in the Navy since I joined the military.

What can I say, I love swallowing sea men.

What do you call someone who has had their legs blown off?

Defeated.

I took my blow up doll back to the shop, and said

"I only had this blown up for half an hour and it went down on me!"

The guy was most unsympathetic and said that if he'd known that, he'd have charged me an extra $30.

I tried to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but the company refused.

They said, If your tent gets blown away, you... won't be covered.

When my gay friend told me he was rich, I did not believe him. But when I went to his house, I was BLOWN...

for like 20 minutes straight.

Did you hear about the TV anchorman who lost it and shot up the whole studio?

We were all blown away by the news

A guy was selling ballons.

$1 for the ballon

And extra $0.50 to have it blown up (to allow for inflation)

Since the wife left me I've bought a motorbike, got a dog, slept with two women, and blown a grand on drink and drugs.

She'll go mad when she gets home from work.

I'm getting one of the first covid shots

I got choosen to receive one of the first covid vaccines shots. Since I'm 78yo old Vietnam veteran. I said, "Can I get it in my left arm". They said sure. I said Well good, it got blown off in Vietnam in 68, can you bring me back my West Point ring while your over there.




Edit for grammar.

My boss calls me "the computer"

Nothing to do with intelligence,
I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes

EDIT thank you all so much this is my first ever post to hit 1k upvotes and get awards
2nd edit wow 3k this post has blown out my previous record of 789 out of the water thank you so much

My store got blown up yesterday

Business is boomin'

How is marriage like a Hurricane?

In the the beginning you get blown a lot

and it ends with you losing your house.

I'm going to dress up as a Subaru head gasket for Halloween.

There's a really good chance I'll get blown.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the blown explosion jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working blown terrorists piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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