Blowing Jokes
155 blowing jokes and hilarious blowing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blowing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the funniest one-liners that will have you "blowing harder than a fuse" with laughter. From puns about "blowing up" to "mind-blowing" jokes, find out why these funny jokes about "blowing bubbles" and "blowing noses" will make you laugh until you cry.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Blowing Short Jokes
Short blowing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blowing humour may include short blows jokes also.
- I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.
- A house of cards is really fragile One blow from a little kid and it all comes tumbling down
- I like to stand in the corner of my psychiatrist's waiting room and blow on anyone who walks by... Most people hate it, but I'm a fan...
- James Bond always holds his farts while in bed Otherwise he would blow his cover.
(Look I'm not funny this was my first and only attempt so sorry X\_X) - Photographers are so violent. They'll frame you, shoot you, blow you up and then hang you.
- I asked my girlfriend to 68 today She said What's that?
I said That's when you blow me and I owe you one. - The Nintendo 64 turns 18 this week... Which means you can now legally blow the cartridges.
- Buzzfeed employee is diagnosed with stage 2 brain cancer Doctor: Number 4 will blow your mind.
- Inventor displays the first knife ever. His friend, "that's the greatest invention since bread"
Inventor, "well I'm about to blow your mind" - I'm sick of my wife blowing everything out of proportion. She's single handedly ruining my balloon animal business.
Share These Blowing Jokes With Friends
Blowing One Liners
Which blowing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blowing? I can suggest the ones about blew and wind blows.
- The Nintendo 64 turned 18 today Now you can legally blow the cartridges.
- What food makes women stop giving blow jobs? Wedding cake
- Why did the vegetarian hate giving blow jobs? She was a lesbian.
- How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone? Put it into airplane mode.
- My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she's hot, but honestly I'm not a fan.
- Why did the fan blow itself? Because it was turned on!
- My girlfriend doesn't like it when I ask her to blow cool air on me She is not a fan.
- Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the ref was blowing fouls
- I quite enjoy blowing air around a room. In fact, I'm a big fan.
- Saw two druggies having a '69' in the park earlier on. He was on crack, she was on blow.
- I like my women like I like my grenades Hanging around my belt and ready to blow.
- I just read John F Kennedy's biography The end was mind blowing
- What do you call a principal who gives good blow jobs? A headmaster.
- 1 in 6 people... find Russian roulette mind blowing.
- What do female reindeer do for fun? Go into town and blow a couple hundred bucks.
Mind Blowing Jokes
Here is a list of funny mind blowing jokes and even better mind blowing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- JFK Assassination Document Release From what I hear, they reveal some pretty mind-blowing information
- This will blow your mind! If you take the pin out of a grenade and put your ear to the hole you can hear the faint sound of the world wide I.Q average increasing.
- I just tried out the Samsung Gear-VR with my Note 7. It was mind-blowing.
- Saw a documentary on Russian roulette It was mind blowing.
- Not only was John F. Kennedy's assassination an unexpected thing... It was also mind blowing.
- 1/6 russian roulette players Finds russian roulette mind blowing.
- A Sapiosexual couple's foreplay Involves blowing each other's minds
- Point a gun at your head and pull the trigger what happens next will blow your mind
- Invention of the knife "What is that?"
I call it the 'knife'.
"Wow, that's the best thing since bread!"
Greg, I am about to blow your mind. - I have an amazing gardener who's both vision impaired and dyslexic. His work is Mind BLowing
Blowing Bubbles Jokes
Here is a list of funny blowing bubbles jokes and even better blowing bubbles puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When I was a kid I used to blow bubbles. I miss that clown.
- Remember when you were young and you used to blow bubbles? Well I heard he's out of prison and he's been looking for you...
- Do you remember when you were a kid and you'd just sit a blow bubbles all afternoon? Well, Bubbles is back in town and wondering how you're doing these days...
- Remember when you were a kid and used to blow bubbles? He was askin' about you the other day.
- Ever blow bubbles as a kid? He's back in town and wants you to give him a call.
- Did you ever blow bubbles when you were a kid? He's back in town and wants your number.
- Did you blow Bubbles when you were a child? Because I saw Bubbles today and he wanted your number.
- Do you remember when you used to blow bubbles as a kid? Ran into Bubbles the other day, he said you always were the best.
- Did you used to blow bubbles when you were younger? Well, he's back in town lookin' for ya!
- Remember when you were younger and you'd blow Bubbles? I talked to him at the circus and he said to call him.
Wind Blowing Jokes
Here is a list of funny wind blowing jokes and even better wind blowing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call iron blowing in the wind? Fe-breeze
- What do you call an anime fan blowing in the wind? A tumble weeb
- Why is there gold blowing through the wind? Because it's August.
- Fun Fact: Spiders can tell the difference between someone blowing on their web and the wind. But that may just be because the wind isn't warm and sticky...
- An egg sits perfectly balanced on the apex of a roof, the wind blows south, which way does the egg fall? Down. The egg falls down.
- We are the sand. The wind will blow us. The ocean will beat us. Life is a beach.
- What do you call a gust of wind that blows a black guy off of a boat? The NBA draft
- Did you guys hear the joke about wind? I hope you didn't. It really blows.
- 2016 is like a crisp autumn wind on a clear day in Venice It blows.
(Get well soon Carrie) - My wife is like a desert wind She rarely blows, but when she does it's dry.
Blowing Nose Jokes
Here is a list of funny blowing nose jokes and even better blowing nose puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Noses and Boyfriends Boyfriends are like noses...
People get disgusted when you blow them in public.
Especially if you're caught without a tissue - I've been accused of lying about how much snot comes out of my nose when I sneeze. They always say I'm blowing it out of proportion
- What does Hannibal Lector use to blow his nose? A tissue.
- Direct from my 8-year old: How do nursing babies blow their noses?
With breast tissue. - What did native Americans use to blow their nose? Their tee-pee
- When Donald has a stuffy nose, what does he do? He blows it out of his...where-ever.
- One time I had to blow my nose and didn't have Kleenex, so I used a sock. Sadly, that wasn't the only thing I had used the sock for that day.
- The nose drops „Big smeller" – let´s have a blow-out.
- I keep blowing my nose And my friend is telling me it's a cold but it's not.
- Dave went to an optician and said, "I think I need new glasses, these are blurry." The optician replied, "If you're going to clean them with your handkerchief, do it before you blow your nose."
Blowing Harder Than Jokes
Here is a list of funny blowing harder than jokes and even better blowing harder than puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I don't know if I can handle the intensity My wife just told me she was going to blow me harder then the falcons 28-3 lead.
- Two Hindus where at a party... The first Hindu says, hey, this party blows harder than a snake charmer on the brink of unemployment. How about we get outta here?
The second Hindu replies, namaste
Hilarious Blowing Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about blowing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blown away jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blowing pranks.
What does a marriage and a hurricane have in common?
It begins with a lot of s**... and blowing and in the end you still loose your house
Blowing Bubbles
Person 1: Did you ever blow Bubbles as a kid?
Person 2: Yes, why?
Person 1: Well, I saw Bubbles yesterday, and he told me to say hi.
The police vs the senior citizen
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mp...h, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper
I went to my girlfriend's house last night for a romantic night in...
It was amazing, we had a three course meal with champagne over candle light, we then snuggled up on the sofa, to watch a movie, then, when we went up stairs, I let her get changed, while I spread rose petals over the bed, then, we had the most amazing, mind blowing s**... that I've ever had, but just as I was about to finish, her parents walked in...
I am now banned from babysitting.
Blowing chunks
Two guys are talking and one asks the other, "Hey, you wanna go drinking later, I just got promoted?"
The other replies, "Thanks, but I can't."
"Aw, come one why not?"
"Cause last time I went drinking, I blew chunks."
"That's normal, people v**... after drinking all the time."
"No, you don't understand; Chunks is my dog."
Hurricanes are like women...
...they all start with a lot of blowing and s**... and in the end you lose your house.
What is the last thing you want to hear when blowing w**... Nelson?
What is the last thing you want to hear when blowing w**... Nelson?
I'm not w**... Nelson.
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were a kid?
He's back in town and wants your number.
A tornado is a lot like having an affair.
At first there is a lot of blowing, but in the end, you just lose your house.
What do blondes and tornados have in common?
First they start s**... and blowing, and then they take your house
Why did the duck go to the basketball game?
He heard the ref was blowing fouls!
I have the punchline, can't remember the joke.
My father used to tell a joke, that involved the guy talking to a priest or therapist, and he is worried about a reoccurring dream that involves him having s**... with a chicken (can't remember who was doing what with who). It ends with the teller blowing a ripped up napkin all over the table.
Any help?
Heaven Between Legs
A nun went to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear a confession.
"Mother, today I experienced the pleasures of the flesh. Father Saunders came to me and told me I had the gates to Heaven between my legs. He then told me he had the key to Heaven and put it in the gates."
"Why that lying ba***rd !" the Mother Superior screamed. "For years he has told me it was Gabriel's trumpet and I've been blowing it!"
A prison guard asked three prisoners how they got in jail...
The first prisoner replies, "I was blowing bubbles in the park."
The second replies "I was also blowing bubbles in the park."
When the guard gets to the third prisoner he says "let me guess, you were blowing bubbles in the park."
Then the third prisoner replies "no, im bubbles."
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind....
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?
Yes, I know, said the lady, I need both hands to hold onto this hat. But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed! said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!
Adam and Eve
When God made Adam he noticed that Adam was sad and asked what was wrong.
Adam - I'm lonely.
God - That's no good! How about I make you a companion? One that is gorgeous, give you mind blowing s**..., will cook and clean, and doesn't mind it when you spend time with the guys or watch football?
Adam - That sounds awesome! What will it cost me?
God - An arm and a leg!
Adam - What can I get for a rib?
The r**... advice hotline hung up on me today...
Apparently "How do I stop them from blowing a r**... whistle?" wasn't a valid question
What did Lincoln say about his experience at Ford theater?
He said it was mind blowing.
What's the similarity between a blonde and a tornado?
In the beginning there's a lot of s**... and blowing but then she takes half your house
Pavlov's birds
An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football team, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.
So three ducks go to court...
The first duck goes up to the platform and the judge says, "Okay why are you here and tell me your name." The duck says, "My name is Quack and I was found blowing bubbles in the pond." The judge says, "Okay you're sentenced to six months."
A second duck walks up to the stand and the judge says, "Tell me your name and why you are here." The duck says, "My name is Quack Quack and I was caught blowing bubbles in the pond too." The judge says, "Alright you're sentenced to six months too just like the other guy."
The third duck walks up to the stand and the judge says, "Don't tell me your name is Quack Quack Quack." The duck goes, "No your honor, I'm Bubbles."
Why did the duck cross the basketball court?
He heard the referees were blowing fouls...
-Jim Norton
I've been thinking of getting into the warehousing business...
I've heard it's blowing up in China
It's a real Challenger
When I was first introduced to the Kerbal Space Program, my spaceship kept blowing up. I looked at my friend and said "Wow, this game is a real Challenger!"
I am a bad person.
Have you heard the news story about the kid that was arrested when they thought the clock he brought to school was a bomb?
It's blowing up
How's a divorce like a hurricane...
There's a bunch of s**... and blowing, but in the end she takes your house.
The World Health Organization has stated that eating bacon increases your chances of getting cancer.
Statistics also show that not eating bacon dramatically increases your chances of blowing yourself up.
A young child caught her parents in the bedroom last night.
The child asks,
"Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on daddy's stomach last night?"
The mother replies,
"I have to do that, or else daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny."
"That's not going to work, you silly!" responds the child.
"Why not?" asks the mother.
"Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."
What's the similarity between a marriage and a tornado?
At the start there's lots of s**... and blowing but in the end you lose your house.
Marriage is like a hurricane...
Starts with a bunch of s**... and blowing, and at the end you lose your house.
Mommy, why were you bouncing on Daddy's belly last night?
Mom: "Because his belly has become fat recently, and I need to help him lose weight."
Boy: "But that won't work."
Mom: "Why not?"
Boy: "Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back again."
Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor
Because she's always blowing bills
An actor was fired from a movie for being a c**... addict.
He kept blowing his lines.
Samsung have done well with the Galaxy Note 7
Sales are blowing up!
My 5 year-old son caught me having s**... with my wife.
He asked, "Dad, what are you doing with Mom?"
"I was just pushing the air out of her tummy." I replied.
"It's no use, I saw our neighbor blowing air between Mom's legs every morning after you leave for work."
What's the difference between an orphanage and a beach ball?
You won't go to prison for blowing up a beach ball.
Don't let the Golden State Warriors blowing a 3 - 1 lead in the NBA finals..
..distract you from the fact that the British blew a 13 colony lead in 1776
Three guys were found trespassing in the city lake
They were put on trial and the judge called them in one by one
Judge: What were you doing in the lake after 9 pm?
Man 1: Your honor, I was blowing bubbles.
Man 1 exits, Man 2 comes in
Judge: What were you doing in the lake after 9 pm?
Man 2: Your honor, I was blowing bubbles.
Man 2 exits, Man 3 comes in
Judge: Dont tell me you were blowing bubbles too.
Man 3: No sir my name is Bubbles
I got so drunk last night, that this morning I was blowing chunks!
Worst part is, Chunks is my dog.
Blowing Bubbles
A teacher asked two of her students a girl, and a boy, what they did during recess.
Girl: I was blowing Bubbles!
Boy: I was blowing Bubbles too!
The teacher then noticed another boy walking into her class from recess she did not recognize. She asked, "You must be new, What's your name?"
The boy replied with a smile: My name is Bubbles!
It's ok for my GF to tell me: "men only think with their p**..."
As long as she keeps blowing my mind
How are a woman and a tornado similar?
They start off s**... and blowing but then in the end you lose your house.
I'll never forget the moment when NASA accomplished every child's dream
...by blowing up a school teacher.
"So, Mrs. Kennedy, how was that parade?"
"Mind blowing"
Ex-Wives are like Tornados...
At first there is a lot of s**... and blowing
And it ends in you losing your house.
My marriage was a like a hurricane.
At the beginning there was a lot of blowing, but in the end I lost my house.
A hurricane is a lot like getting married...
Starts with a lot of blowing, then you lose your house.
My friend keeps buying games, but never finds time to play them!
He says it's his way of blowing off steam.
Irma has been blowing all over the city for a few weeks now.
But enough about your mom, let me tell you about the weather.
I hear Harvey Weinstein's call sheet has been blowing up lately.
Apparently the Republican Party wants him to run for President.
A man travelling through Arizona stops at a small town and goes into a bar
He stands at the end of the bar and lights up a cigar. As he sips his drink, he stands there quietly blowing smoke rings.
After he's blown nine or ten smoke rings, an angry Indian comes up to him and says, "Listen buddy, if you don't stop calling me names, I'll smash your face in!"
What do marriage and a tornado have in common?
Starts off with a lot of s**... and blowing and the next thing you know your house is gone.
How are marriages like tornadoes?
They begin with a lot of blowing and s**..., but in the end you lose your house.
A t**... struck a local farm, setting off explosives inside the farmer's prized steer, blowing it to smithereens, but apparently committing no other mischief. The crime scene investigator had these words at the press conference...
"Abominable. Simply abominable."
A kid asks his mom why she's always bouncing on Daddy's tummy
This kid went to ask his mom one day why she's always bouncing on Daddy's tummy. He didn't understand and would assume that it would hurt.
The mom responded that she was doing that so that Daddy's tummy would not bloat up and get fat.
The kid then replied, "Mommy, that's never going to work because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up."
What do pizza and s**... have in common?
When it's good it's mind blowing good but when it's bad, it's still pretty good
I got o**... s**... from a psychic yesterday.
It was mind blowing.
I like how the girl that called me a loser in high school is now blowing up my phone
She sends me things like what are your plans for dinner and Your dad and I are going out for dinner there's food in the fridge
A man is looking for a p**...,
He comes across a woman who says she can give a guy head while singing.
The man says "I'll give you $50, just tell me how you do it."
"No," she replies "Just let me do it."
He agrees.
They go into a hotel room and she starts blowing him while singing away.
The man says, "Turn on the lights and let me see how you're doing that."
She replies "Hold on, let me put my glass eye back in."
I found out my wife's been blowing the judge to get out of her parking fines.
I shouldn't be talking about it really... The judge put a gag order on it.
I went to the JFK memorial museum and got to simulate his assassination in VR
It was mind blowing
What's the worst thing a woman can hear after blowing w**... Nelson?
I'm not w**... Nelson.
Daddy's Fat
Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?
"I have to do that, or dad's belly gets really fat, bouncing on his belly keeps him skinny."
That's not going to work.
"Why baby?"
Because the babysitter keeps blowing him up again!
I'm really worried about my wife and this weather
Ever since it started snowing, she's seemed really depressed. We've had strong, cold winds blowing lately, and freezing rain forming layers of ice over the snow. All she does is stand frozen at the window, staring, and I think she might be depressed.
If this keeps up I might need to let her inside.
3 frogs get arrested
The first frog goes in and the judge asks him, "What's your name?" "Frog," he replies. "What did you do?" "I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, your honor." With that, the judge lets him go.
The second frog goes in. "What's your name?" asks the judge. "Frog Frog." "What were you doing?" "I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, sir." With that, the judge lets him go.
The third frog comes in. The judge says, "Let me guess, your name is Frog Frog Frog."
The frog says, "No, my name's Bubbles."
Why is a marriage like a hurricane?
At the beginning there's a lot of blowing, and when it's over your house is gone...
How are marriage and a hurricane similar?
In the beginning theres lots of blowing and in the end you lose your house.
The effect of p**... on shore birds...
On the beach yesterday I saw a researcher blowing clouds of p**... smoke on shore birds to study the effects of m**... on their flying. He was very thorough, making sure he dosed every single one he saw.
It was his intention to leave no tern unstoned.
What did the teddy bear say after blowing out the birthday candles?
No thanks I'm stuffed!
What does a tornado and a wife have in common?
They both start with alot of s**... and blowing, then you end up without a roof over your head.
