Blow Jokes
167 blow jokes and hilarious blow puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blow that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This is a collection of joke articles about blowjobs.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Blow Short Jokes
Short blow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blow humour may include short blew mind jokes also.
- I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.
- A house of cards is really fragile One blow from a little kid and it all comes tumbling down
- I like to stand in the corner of my psychiatrist's waiting room and blow on anyone who walks by... Most people hate it, but I'm a fan...
- James Bond always holds his farts while in bed Otherwise he would blow his cover.
(Look I'm not funny this was my first and only attempt so sorry X\_X) - Buzzfeed employee is diagnosed with stage 2 brain cancer Doctor: Number 4 will blow your mind.
- Inventor displays the first knife ever. His friend, "that's the greatest invention since bread"
Inventor, "well I'm about to blow your mind" - I'm sick of my wife blowing everything out of proportion. She's single handedly ruining my balloon animal business.
- How do viking ships communicate with each other? Norse code
I'm gonna keep making these jokes until one blows up - My marriage was a like a hurricane. At the beginning there was a lot of blowing, but in the end I lost my house.
- What's the difference between having the same job for 20 years and having the same wife for 20 years? The job still blows.
Share These Blow Jokes With Friends
Blow One Liners
Which blow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blow? I can suggest the ones about breeze and puff.
- The Nintendo 64 turned 18 today Now you can legally blow the cartridges.
- Why did the fan blow itself? Because it was turned on!
- My girlfriend doesn't like it when I ask her to blow cool air on me She is not a fan.
- Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the ref was blowing fouls
- I quite enjoy blowing air around a room. In fact, I'm a big fan.
- Saw two druggies having a '69' in the park earlier on. He was on crack, she was on blow.
- I just read John F Kennedy's biography The end was mind blowing
- 1 in 6 people... find Russian roulette mind blowing.
- What do female reindeer do for fun? Go into town and blow a couple hundred bucks.
- I just tried out the Samsung Gear-VR with my Note 7. It was mind-blowing.
- Saw a documentary on Russian roulette It was mind blowing.
- If you find a bomb that blows up when stepped on, please let me know. It's mine.
- Why did H blow itself up? Because G had.
- When I was a kid I used to blow bubbles. I miss that clown.
- Mattel released a Muslim Barbie... It's a blow-up doll.
Blow Mind Jokes
Here is a list of funny blow mind jokes and even better blow mind puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- JFK Assassination Document Release From what I hear, they reveal some pretty mind-blowing information
- This will blow your mind! If you take the pin out of a grenade and put your ear to the hole you can hear the faint sound of the world wide I.Q average increasing.
- Not only was John F. Kennedy's assassination an unexpected thing... It was also mind blowing.
- Invention of the knife "What is that?"
I call it the 'knife'.
"Wow, that's the best thing since bread!"
Greg, I am about to blow your mind. - I have an amazing gardener who's both vision impaired and dyslexic. His work is Mind BLowing
- I can't wait to read the BuzzFeed article on "20 Things You Will Love about Stranger Things" Eleven will blow your mind!!!
- What do you say when a magic trick blows your mind? Abrakadamn bruh!
- I went to the JFK memorial museum and got to simulate his assassination in VR It was mind blowing
- JFK is back! He certainly has some mind-blowing stories to tell us!
- My uncle died He found it mind blowing that you can't play Russian roulette with a Glock
Blow Whistle Jokes
Here is a list of funny blow whistle jokes and even better blow whistle puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the man who couldn't stop blowing his "duck call" whistle? He was addicted to quack.
- I was going on my first date and my mom gave me a whistle... I asked her what purpose does this serve to which she replied, "to remind you not to blow it."
- How do you blow a movie quote? You just put your lips together and whistle
Blow Pop Jokes
Here is a list of funny blow pop jokes and even better blow pop puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A little boy says to his sister: "Guess what sis, I have two Blow Pops!" Sister: "Oh thank God, that means he won't make me do it tonight."
- What do you call someone who chokes on a blow pop? A lollygagger!
Blow Dryer Jokes
Here is a list of funny blow dryer jokes and even better blow dryer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many Nascar drivers does it take to blow up a jet dryer? Just Juan
- You know what really blows my mind any time I think about it? My telekinetic hair dryer.
Blow Up Doll Jokes
Here is a list of funny blow up doll jokes and even better blow up doll puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I traded my blowup doll in for a middle eastern version.. It blows itself up..
- I had a horrible night last night My blow up doll ran off with my air mattress
- I brought gifts to an orphanage to cheer the kids up Apparently, blow up dolls are not consider toys especially after they explode.
- "Why is your blow up doll half deflated?" "She was getting a little heavy.."
- I got a blow up doll, that was Made in Baghdad Problem is... it blew itself up
- I used to 69 with my blow up doll But due to inflation now we only 96.
- I thought I finally found a girl who wouldn't play hard to get. Then my roommate filled my blow-up doll with helium.
- You ever notice when it comes to blow up dolls... They're always so surprised to see us
- I bought a cheap blow-up doll. I got 50 percent off.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Blow Jokes
What funny jokes about blow you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean poof jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blow pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Which one doesn't belong: eggs, your wife, or a b**...?
The b**.... You can beat your eggs and your wife but you can't beat a b**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Native Americans
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit
down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there
s**... back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says,
"How would you boys like a b**...?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him
unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do
that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting
a job!"
I'd hate to be a dragon.
I'd get so angry trying to blow out my birthday candles.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A whale tale
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look", she said, "I went along with the b**..., but I absolutely refuse to s**... the s**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5...
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend just freaked me out...
she gave me a b**... but insisted on role playing as a 12 year old.f**... weird and g**.... I was like "You're going to be 12 in a couple of months, what's the rush?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two gay guys live together
The first guy says, "Let's play hide-and-seek. I'll hide, and if you find me I'll blow you."
The second guys says, "What if I can't find you?"
He says, "I'll be behind the piano."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What are the two most important holes on a woman?
The Nostrils. So she can breathe while giving me a b**....
*My 10 year old brother told me this today
This Hurricane should have been called Snooki...
The're both heading to the Jersey Shore with plans to blow everyone in a 50 mile radius.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sick day.
A man calls his boss and tells him he won't be coming in to work today because he's not feeling well. The boss says, "Well we really need you today. Whenever I'm feeling sick I tell my wife to give me a b**.... Works every time. Why don't you try that and then see how you feel."
He calls back an hour later and says, "Just letting you know, I'm on my way to work. I feel great now. And by the way, you have a nice house."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does a bride smile as she walks down the aisle?
She knows she's given her last b**....
The memo
An older man hires a guy every fall and his only job is to use my leaf blower and get the leaves out my yard.
He only pays in checks though. Just so he may write "thanks for the blow" on the memo line.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The groom, waiting in the church for his bride, has a huge grin on his face...
..."What is wrong with you", asks the best man, "don't you know your life is over?" "No it's not", says the groom, "Last night, I got the best b**... in the history of blow jobs, and I'm marrying this girl. My life is set." Meanwhile in the bride's room, she too has a huge grin on her face. "What is wrong with you", asks the bride's maid, "don't you know your life is over?" "No it's not", says the bride, "Last night, I gave the last b**... I ever have to."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A plane gets hijacked by a couple of terrorists
The head t**... is in the cockpit with the pilot. He demands that the pilot takes them to a free country or else the entire plane will blow up.
The pilot retorts: " This is an airliner, not a spaceship!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
68
A man urges his wife to try a new s**... position - The . Curious, she asks about what romantic and exotic position her husband wants to try. "Well honey" he answers, "it's quite simple, you give me a b**..., and I owe you one"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny catches his mom and dad...
Mom and dad are having s**... when little Johnny walks in. Quickly, dad tells him to leave. When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddy's get a big tummy and mommy's have to jump on it so it will deflate. Then Johnny replies, "But why does mommy have to deflate it when Ms. Jane next door just comes over every day to blow it back up?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
what do eggs benedict and a b**... have in common?
you dont get either at home.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I blow, but I don't s**.... I whip, but don't do chains. Some watch me and feel proud, while others feel ashamed. What am I?
I am a flag.
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind....
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?
Yes, I know, said the lady, I need both hands to hold onto this hat. But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed! said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her car?
She burned her mouth on the exhaust.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young priest...
A freshly ordained young priest was walking to his newly assigned parish in the inner city. As he walked down the street, a p**... stopped him and said, "Hey father, $20 for a b**...." The priest had never heard of such a thing and hurried away from the p**....
When he arrived at the church he was greeted by the Mother Superior who showed him around the place and guided him to his room. Before she left the priest alone in his room, she asked if he had any questions.
The young priest said, "I do have one question, Mother Superior, what is a b**...?"
And the old nun says, "Twenty bucks, same as on the street."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say us men all think with our d**......
but all I want is a woman who will blow my mind.
Do you remember when you were a kid and you'd just sit a blow bubbles all afternoon?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and wondering how you're doing these days...
Noses and Boyfriends
Boyfriends are like noses...
People get disgusted when you blow them in public.
Especially if you're caught without a tissue
Women Think Differently
Husband's Text Message by cell phone:
"Honey, got hit by car when I was out of office. Paula brought me to Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays now. Blow to my head very strong, fortunately it didn't cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in left leg, and they may have to amputate right foot.
Wife's Text Response by Cell Phone:
"Who's Paula?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats the difference between a steak, an egg, and a b**...?
You can beat your meat and beat an egg, but you sure cant beat a b**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed
I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes.
A man on fire
A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.
Remember when you were a kid and used to blow bubbles?
He was askin' about you the other day.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A couple of whales.
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the same side of the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.The male was enraged that they were going to get away and said to the female, "Lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, the male whale realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him."What's the matter, Darling?"
"Look, Love," she said, "I went along with the b**..., but I absolutely refuse to s**... the s**...".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hardware store
So a woman goes into a hardware store to buy a hinge for a door.
She puts the hinge on the counter, and the guy says, "Excuse me lady, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
And she says, "No, but I'll blow you for that lawn mower."
A husband sends a text to his wife.
Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot.
Wife's Response:
Who is Tina?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman's husband dies and gets cremated
She takes the ashes home, puts them on the porch and says, "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know that new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispered, "You know that b**... I promised you? Well, here it comes"
The Way Women Think
Husband's Message (by text):
"Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"
Wife's Response:
"Who's Paula?"
Paying a clown to blow up balloons at a party is pretty expensive.
Must be inflation.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
j**... balloons are my favorite
They blow themselves up
A guy asks for a tattoo on his........
A guy asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his private parts. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that.
He replies, "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and $100 seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you stop a woman giving you a b**...?
Marry her.
Husband send a text to his wife
Husband's text:
>Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office.
Paula brought me to the Hospital.
Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays.
Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches.
I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound fracture in the left leg. Amputation of my right foot is a possibility.
Love you.
Wife's response:
>Who's Paula?
After my friend passed away I got his sibling a parrot to soften the blow.
I also taught it to say, "Dave, it's your brother. Reincarnation is real!"
What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common?
They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.
Remember when you were young and you used to blow bubbles?
Well I heard he's out of prison and he's been looking for you...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man approaches a p**...
"how much for a b**...?"
"$30"
"Can you do 20?"
"sure"
"Great here's $600"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is an extremist's favourite thing to have s**... with?
A blow up doll
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do women and saxophones have in common?
They both blow and make different noises when you finger them.
Bill Clinton said Hillary is clearly the best choice for president...
He knows for a fact there is no chance she'll blow it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know ISIS has its own s**... toy factory?
There specialise in blow up dolls
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a mad engineer and a mad scientist?
The mad engineer builds an efficient, well-desined death ray and destroys the world in one blow.
The mad scientist builds his death ray and divides the world into three randomised groups: an experimental group to be killed, a control group to be spared and a group that is told they are dead to account for the placebo effect.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a burger, and a b**...?
You don't know?
Let's do lunch sometime!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face.
His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The groom replies, "I just had the best b**... I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me." The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The bride replies, "I just gave the last b**... of my entire life."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do the English use to blow up their enemies?
Tea N' Tea.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Some Muslims were having an argument on my street the other day...
I wanted to step in, but I was afraid it would blow up in my face.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I Hadn't been into a s**... shop in a long time.
Blow up dolls cost a lot more than they used to...
I guess that's from all the inflation.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Arabs sit in the Gaza s**..., enjoying a quiet pint of goat milk.
One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through the pictures.
"This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son. He's also a martyr!"
The second Arab nods, They blow up so fast, don't they?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a woman says, "all men think with their d**..."
Well... then blow my mind.
How are a grenade and a girlfriend similar?
If they're good ones, they'll both blow really well.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What Did the Muslim t**... Say?
Who you gota blow to get some virgins around here?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Well, it's getting to that time of year when my wife gets drunk and gives her annual b**....
I hope it's me this year!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had a huge home party last night and I was unpleasantly woken up by a surprise b**....
Next time I'll sleep with my mouth closed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the vegetarian hate giving blow jobs?
She was a lesbian.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I haven't seen a team blow a win this bad...
Since h**... invaded Russia
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How is driving a Ford truck similar to visiting Thailand?
Either way, you're likely to blow a t**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was woken up at 5am by a crow...
It just wouldn't stop cawing. After an hour I felt like shooting the d**... thing! Then another crow joined it and they started to have a jolly old conversation. I wanted to blow both their heads off! One more crow and there definitely would've been a m**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Working holiday
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room.
"Where are you going?" he asks.
"I'm going to Las Vegas. I can earn $200 for a b**... there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do for you for free."
The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well.
"Where are you going?" the wife asks.
"I'm coming with you. I want to see how you can live on $200 a year."
Two tugboat captains have been friends for years.
They would always cry, "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other.
A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What do they do that for?"
The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never heard of ... an aye for an aye?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Woke up to a b**... earlier.
That's the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A s**... bomber enters a mall, trigger in hand, threatening to blow up the building.
I swiftly chop off his hand, disarming him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy walks into a bar and there's a gorilla sitting in the corner.
Guy says to the bartender, "What's with the gorilla?"
Bartender says, "I'll show ya." .
The bartender walks over with a baseball bat and smashes the gorilla right in the nose. The gorilla gets on his knees and gives the bartender a b**....
Bartender says, "What do ya think?"
Guy says, "That's great."
Bartender asks, "You wanna try?"
Guy says, "Sure, but don't hit me so hard."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girl about to jump of a bridge.....
A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, What are you doing?
I'm going to commit s**..., she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity. He asked Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a b**...? So, she does and it was a long, deep and slow b**....
After she's finished, the biker says, Wow! That was the best b**... I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing s**...?
My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl.....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young man goes up to his father and asks him, "Can i have twenty bucks for a b**...?"
Father replies, " i don't know, are you any good?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got a b**... from my teacher yesterday.
I love being home schooled.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the best part about Islamic s**... dolls?
They blow themselves up
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was o**... bin Laden's biggest regret as a parent?
kids blow up so fast
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A drunk chick at the club offered me a b**..., but I turned her down. She looked too much like my sister.
And my sister is terrible at blow jobs.
