Blouse Jokes
37 blouse jokes and hilarious blouse puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blouse that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Blouse Short Jokes
Short blouse jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blouse humour may include short button shirts jokes also.
- My secretary reminds me of my wife. I was unbuttoning her blouse at lunch today when she said, "remember, you have a wife."
- A young woman walks into a dry cleaner She asks the elderly owner inspecting her blouse how long it would take to clean.
Hard of hearing the man asks, "come again?"
She responds, "No, it's yogurt" - A girl walks into a dry cleaner She goes inside to drop off her blouse. Before she leaves the owner says, "Come again!". The girl replied, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
- A lady goes into the dry cleaners Lady: "I was wondering if you could get this stain out of my blouse"
The Clerk: "Come again?"
Lady: "No, this time it's just yogurt" - An elderly couple is having dinner at a restaurant. The wife spills soup on her blouse and says: "Oh no, I look a pig now."
Her husband responds: "Yeah, and you spilled soup on your blouse." - My wife came to me one night. She told me to take off her blouse. Then she told me to take off her pants. Then she told me to never wear her clothes again.
- Which came first? The guy or the girl? The guy. And got the record, it took the girl ages to clean it off her blouse
- I thought my wife was clothes shopping but she was mostly just looking at tops. Apparently she was just blousing.
- My girlfriend just bought some new clothes. The blouse is ok .... But I'm starting to get into her pants.
- Former figure skater Michelle Kwan was caught by paparazzi, who took an unfortunate down-blouse pic. Nevertheless, it's a perfect example of both quality and Kwan t**....
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Blouse One Liners
Which blouse one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blouse? I can suggest the ones about gown and sweatshirt.
- What Do You Call Money That's Put Into A Blouse? Titcoin
- Who is the worst enemy of Don Rickles? Sasha Blouse.
Great Blouse Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about blouse you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tee shirt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blouse pranks.
My boss, who is a fit woman, caught me in the shower room after work.
She said to me "Would you mind taking my blouse off?"
I replied, "Certainly," and took it off.
Then she turned around and said, "Would you take my skirt off too?" So I removed that as well.
Then she finally asked me to take her underwear off, so I did that too.
Then she looked at me and said, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired"
Lindsay Lohan got her blouse dirty...
..and had to take it to the dry cleaners. She says "I need to get this cleaned" to the man behind the counter. The man who was hard of hearing replies "come again?", Lindsay responds "No, mustard".
A blonde walks into a drycleaners
and says 'good morning' to the elderly attendant and hands him a blouse. The man didn't hear too well and asked, "Come again"?
The blonde turned red and giggled. "No, just mayonnaise this time."
A husband calls a men's help line.
Host: "Hello caller, how can I help you."
Hus: "I think my wife is cheating on me, so last night I hid behind my boat and waited for her to come home. Soon a strange car pulled up. As she got out of the passenger side she was buttoning her blouse."
Host: "I see... so what's your question?"
Hus: "When I was behind the boat, I noticed a crack in the outboard bracket...can that be welded?"
Judy entered a church
She was wearing a see through blouse and no bra.
"You can't come into this church dressed like that!" Exclaimed the priest.
"But I have a divine right!" Replied Judy.
"You have a divine left too, but you still can't come in dressed like that!"
Fascinate
Teacher: Can anyone use the word "fascinate" in a sentence?
Billy: I was fascinated by the sunrise.
Teacher: Good, but "fascinated" is past tense. Can anyone else try?
Suzie: It was fascinating to see the flowers grow.
Teacher: Good, Suzie, but you added an "ing" at the end of the word and made it an adjective. I just want to hear the verb "fascinate".
Ernie: Yo mama got a blouse with 12 b**... on it...but she so fat, she can only fascinate!
I heard you like reposts, so here's one from 114 years ago.
**TOWN AND COUNTRY**
The young woman who was boarding at the farmhouse expressed to the farmer her anxiety at the savage way in which the cow regarded her.
It must be on account of that red blouse you've got on, miss, answered the farmer.
Dear me! exclaimed the girl. Of course, it's out of fashion; but I had no idea a country cow would notice it.
(From the London Journal, July 2nd, 1904)
Today a woman was walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.
When I got face to face with the woman, I said, "Miss, are you aware that you could be cited for indecent exposure?"
"Why?" the woman asked.
"Well," I said, "Your right breast is hanging out of your blouse."
The woman quickly looked down and screamed, "Oh my God! I left my baby on the bus!"
Suzy came to the church in a see-through blouse leaving nothing to imagination
After the congregation,the priest called her aside and said " you can't come to church dressed like that " pointing at her blouse.
"But I have a divine right" complained Suzy.
" And you have a divine left too " noted the priest " still you can't come dressed like that " .
A woman goes home for lunch
And is surprised to find her husband at home.
She goes up to him and says, "Take off my necklace."
Any he takes off her necklace.
"Take off my blouse."
And he unbuttons and removes her blouse.
"Take off my skirt."
And he unzips and removes her skirt.
Finally she says, "Don't ever let me catch you wearing my clothes again!"
My Encounter With My Step-Mom
My step mom came to me and demanded that I take all her clothes off. So I took off her blouse. She said, Now off with my skirt. I did, and she continued, Now take off my stockings. And when I did that, she said, Now my bra and the p**.... I took them off. She continued, And don't ever let me catch you wearing my stuff again!
An elderly woman is moving into a retirement home
As part of the admissions process she has a check-up by the resident doctor. The doctor asks, "So have you been having any problems?"
Woman: "Well, I have noticed something unusual. I have this hole in my chest between my b**...."
Doctor: "Hmm, let me have a quick look."
The woman lifts up her blouse.
The doctor bends over to take a closer look, and she says, "Oh you really have nothing to worry about. It's just your belly button."
Suzy came to the church in a see-through blouse leaving almost nothing to imagination
After the congregation,the priest called her aside and said " you can't come to church dressed like that " pointing at her blouse.
"But I have a divine right" complained Suzy.
" And you have a divine left too " noted the priest " but still you can't come dressed like that " .
My wife came home from work one day
she came into our bedroom and slowly looked me up and down,
First, she asked "Take off my blouse,"
Then she said "Next take off my skirt,"
Finally, she asked "Now I want you to remove my p**... and bra,"
After I had all her clothes on the bedroom floor she screamed
"And don't let me catch you wearing them again!"
Sophie walks into the church wearing a very low cut blouse.
The parish priest went up to her " you must not enter the house of God unless properly dressed"
" Oh, but I have a divine right"
"You also have a divine left" sighed the clergyman,"but I still have to insist that you should cover up"
The hot coed approaches her professor...
She opens up a button on her blouse, tilts down her glasses and says, "I'd do *anything* to get an A in this class..."
The professor, agitated, says "**Anything**?"
"**Anything**" as she traces her finger down his chest.
The professor leans over, and whispers in her ear...
"Study"
Teacher says to class, can anyone give me a sentence with the word fascinate in it? Little johnny says my big fat sister bought a blouse that has 14 b**....
She can only fasten eight..
My step mother came to me and demanded that I take all her clothes off.
So I took off her blouse.
She said, Now off with the skirt.
I did, and she continued, Now take off my stockings.
And when I did that, she said, Now the bra and the p**....
I took them off. She continued, And don't ever let me catch you wearing my stuff again!
He went to the bedroon and was surprised to see his wife lying on the bed.
She said, "Take off my blouse."
And he took off her blouse.
Then she said, "Take off my skirt."
And he took off her skirt.
Then she said, "Take off my heels."
And he took off her heels.
At last she said, "Now take off my bra and p**...."
And he took off her bra and p**....
And finally she said, "Don't ever let me catch you wearing my clothes again."
Oh Divinity!
Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her she cannot enter without it.
A few moments later, the lady reappears, wearing her blouse tied to her head.
The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse."
"But Father, I have a divine right," she insists.
"Yes, I see. And you also have a divine left, but you still must wear a blouse to enter this church."
A woman was walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.
A cop was approaching from about a block away, thinking to himself, "Boy, my eyes must be going. It looks like that woman is hanging out of her blouse."
But, as he got closer, it became apparent that she really was hanging out her blouse.
When the officer got face to face with the woman, he said, "Miss, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" the woman asked.
"Well," said the officer, "Your right breast is hanging out of your blouse."
The woman quickly looked down and screamed, "Oh my God! I left my baby on the bus!"
The dwarves were quite short, and Snow White's bedroom was on the second floor.
At night when she was changing into her night clothes, they stood on each other's shoulders so one of them could peek through her window and relay the goings on to the ones below.
"What's she doing now", the lower dwarf would ask. "She's taking off her skirt", would come the answer.
"What's she doing now?", "She's taking off her blouse" "What's she doing now?"
"She's taking off her bra. On no, somebody's coming."
"Me too, me too, me too, me too, me too, me too" came the replies.
The teenage granddaughter
The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that.
The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your r**... show!" and out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die.
She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate.
"Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your r**..., then I can display my hanging baskets.
I really need your advice on a serious problem.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. Some of the signs are if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up. She also goes out with the girls a lot.
Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning up her blouse, then she took her p**... out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment while I was crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket.
Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?
Please advise me ASAP since I'm quite worried about this.
Two women die and arrive at the pearly gates of heaven.
However, there's only room for one of them in heaven. So St. Peter tells each of them, "Whoever has the best thing to show me can enter." So the first woman pulls up her blouse, revealing her beautiful sweater puppies. St. Peter nods, and then turns to the other woman. The second woman lifts up her skirt and starts urinating. St. Peter nods, and says, "You may come into heaven." The first woman, protests and says, "How did I not get into heaven? All she did was pee!" St. Peter says, "A flush always beats any pair."
