Bloody Mary Jokes
10 bloody mary jokes and hilarious bloody mary puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bloody mary that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Bloody Mary Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good bloody mary joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
This is an old joke but my husband told me to never tell it again!
3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a b**... Mary. The second orders a b**... Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks a b**... Mary?
The vampire shakes his head. Hot water for me
Hot water?
I found a t**... out back and want to make tea
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.
The nurse sits down at the bar and says, "I'll have a b**... Mary!"
The doctor sits next to her and says, "Give me a r**... and coke!"
The anti-vaxver says, "No shots for me."
She then collapses and dies from polio.
I'm ready for a holiday.
p**... says to m**...,
I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different.
3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant.
2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant, last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant."
m**... asks,
"So what are you going to do this year?"
p**... replies,
"I'll b**... take her with me!"
Two nuns are sitting on a park bench
Sister Carol lights a cigarette and Sister Beatrice declares:
'That's a filthy habit'
Sister Carol replies: 'blame Sister Mary, she washes the b**... things'.
Two Caucasian Russians walk into a bar
The bartender looks up and says sorry, but we don't serve white Russians here
The Russians respond oh that's alright, we'll get 2 b**... Mary's instead
British man: If you like v**... and tomato juice so much...
then why don't you b**... mary it!
How can you tell when the barmaid is not happy with you?
There is a string hanging out of your b**... mary.
Lack of originality
What's a cannibal's favorite drink?
A b**... Mary
A pumpkin, a zucchini, and a seed walk into a bar.
The barkeep asks the pumpkin what she'd like to drink.
b**... Mary, she says.
The barkeep asks the zucchini for her order.
I'm having a hard cider, the zucchini says.
The barkeep turns to the seed, and both the pumpkin and zucchini say, Oh, don't serve our friend anything.
Why not?
Can't you tell? asks the zucchini, She's already out of her gourd!
Dracula walks into a bar.
He orders a cup of boiling water. The barman pours a cup from the kettle and gives it Dracula; he says "No b**... Mary today?"
Dracula reaches into his pocket and pulls out a string. Then a used t**... pops out of Dracula's pocket and he lowers the t**... by the string into the cup of water. Then Dracula carefully lays the string over the side of the cup and says "No thanks. Today I'm just having tea."
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