Blood Drive Jokes

15 blood drive jokes and hilarious blood drive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blood drive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Blood Drive Jokes

Short blood drive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blood drive humour may include short blood draw jokes also.

  1. You know, as a child I was always told to give one hundred precent at everything I do... Needless to say the blood drive did not go very well.
  2. I was applying to volunteer at a blood drive, but they rejected me when they asked me to demonstrate drawing blood. I guess they didn't want me to use crayon.
  3. Why did the phlebotomist fail to reach his target for the blood drive? Because it was all in vein.
  4. Did you hear about the blood drive organizer from Portland who died in a car c**...? He was an Oregon donor.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about blood drive can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of blood drive puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Blood Drive One Liners

Which blood drive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blood drive? I can suggest the ones about blood donation and blood donor.

  1. I felt really bored today So I went to a blood drive. That really got my blood flowing.

Blood Drive Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about blood drive you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean blood test jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make blood drive prank.

A Man and is Wife are Expecting a Baby.

He finally gets the call while at work and starts driving to the hospital. As he gets closer, he gets more and more anxious, thinking about the baby, his wife, whether it's a boy or a girl, etc. But as he's driving he hits a curb. The car's springs break, jutting through the floor and impaling him through the legs with twisted steel and aluminum. He can tell he's losing a lot of blood, so he calls his wife and tells her what's going on. She hangs up and says to the nurse, "my husband is so sweet, he just called me to say 'the suspension is killing me!'"

A man wants to join a Alaskan biker gang.

So a man wants to join an Alaskan biker gang and is told by the members he has to do 3 things to get in
1. Drink A fifth of jack
2. Wrestle a bear
3. Make love to an Eskimo women
The man slams the fifth and staggers to his bike and they drive off to the bear cave.
The man lets out a roar and charges into the bear cave. The bikers stand outside and can hear grunts and snarls coming from the cave.
20 or so minutes later the man then staggers out the cave, his clothes torn and covered in blood... He looks at the bikers and says
"Alright, where's this Eskimo women I have to wrestle?!"

A police officer pulls a man over for driving all over the road...

...and discovers the man has clearly been drinking.
Officer: "You'll have to come with me for a breathalyzer test, sir."
Man: "I'm afraid I can't do that officer, I'm ams-- *hic* alths-- I'm asthmatic. I could have an episode."
O: "I see. In that case, I'll need to take you down to the station for a blood test."
M: "I can't do that either, see, because I'm a helmpho-- a hemophiliac. I could bleed out."
O: "*sigh*... okay, just stand right there and hold your arms out to your sides, tilt your head straight back, and touch your nose with your right index finger."
M: "I'm afraid I can't do that either, because I.................."
O: "What, you have vertigo?"
M: "Yes! Sorry, I can't think very fast after 14 beers!"

A group of senior citizens were talking... the breakfast table in a Palm Springs nursing home.
"My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.
"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another.
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills makes me dizzy," another went on.
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.
Then there was a short moment of silence.
"Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully. "Thank God we can all still drive."

Need help finding the punchline to a joke!!

So i remember reading this joke (or antijoke) where 100 nuns are travelling and decide to stop at the inn for the night. The clerk says they only have room for 50 so the nuns say "its okay, 50 will sleep inside and 50 will sleep outside". The next morning, the 50 nuns that slept outside are all dead, blood everywhere and theres a crazy monk running away with a chainsaw. The nuns decide to carry on and stop at the next inn. The clerk tells them they only have room for 25 so the nuns say "its okay, 25 will sleep inside and 25 will sleep outside". The next morning.......and the joke goes on like that until there's only 2 nuns left and I CAN'T REMEMBER THE PUNCHLINE UGHHH!! Someone please help, it's driving me nuts!!

A man is driving down the road when...

Out of nowhere a boy chases a ball into the street, directly in front of the man's car. He slams on the brakes, but strikes the boy at a relatively high speed. He jumps out of the car and sees the boy is in bad shape. He, in a panic, doesn't know what to do.
"Should I get you a Priest??" he asks the boy.
The boy, both his legs broken, covered in blood, and who can hardly open one eye, looks up at the man and is barely able to manage a few words.
"How can you think about s**... at a time like this?"

The best trick...

A cop was waiting outside of a bar because it was free drinks night. The cop was determined to catch all of the drunks so they wouldn't drive. He saw a man walk out the door, the man was limping and had a dizzy look on his face. The cop decided to wait for everyone else from the bar to leave, then he would bust the drunk man. Soon everybody left. The cop walked up to the man and asked him, " are your drunk sir? ". The man didn't respond and just looked at the cop. The cop measured his alcohol level through the mans blood, but it said 0. " how it that possible? " , said the cop. The man responded by saying, " i am tonight's drunk decoy ". :)

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away.

A mile down the road, he's stopped by a police officer.
The officer walked up to the driver's side window holding a Breathalyzer and said: "Good evening sir. We're testing for drunk driving. Would you please blow into this machine?"
The man says: "Sorry officer, but I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow in that machine, I will get out of air."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample", said the officer.
"I can't do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death."
"Well, then we need a u**... sample."
"I'm sorry officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar."
"Alright... then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line."
"I can't do that either, officer."
The officer was getting irritated... "And why not?"
"Because I'm dead drunk."

A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers.

At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes.
When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off.
When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test.
The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0.
The cop says, "How is this possible?"
The guy says,"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these blood drive jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.