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Blood Draw Jokes

47 blood draw jokes and hilarious blood draw puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blood draw that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Blood Draw Short Jokes

Short blood draw jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blood draw humour may include short blood drive jokes also.

  1. Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
    In case she needed to draw blood.
  2. VA Nurse joke What is the difference between a VA nurse and a bullet?
    * A bullet can draw blood
    * A bullet can be fired
    * A bullet can only kill one person
  3. Why did the hospital send all the nurses to art school So they could learn how to draw blood
  4. I went to the doctor's office. The phlebotomist appeared, holding a sketchbook and a pencil, and said... "Hold still so I can draw your blood."
  5. What do you call the trained medical personnel who draws blood at the hospital? Nurse Feratu
  6. I just learned how to Draw Blood in Nursing school! It's real easy, you just need something that writes in red!
  7. I was applying to volunteer at a blood drive, but they rejected me when they asked me to demonstrate drawing blood. I guess they didn't want me to use crayon.
  8. I quit going to the doctor because he kept insisting on drawing blood every visit.. Screw that Dr. Acula
  9. My doctor was trying to get blood from my arteries But his attempts to draw blood were in vein
  10. At the doctor's office, the nurse asked me if I was OK with drawing blood. I said "I've never done it before, but I'm willing to give it a shot."

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Blood Draw One Liners

Which blood draw one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blood draw? I can suggest the ones about blood test and blood donation.

  1. Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable." Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
    Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag."
  2. Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen? To draw blood.
  3. Why did Count Dracula fail art class? He could only draw blood.
  4. What do an artist and a phlebotomist have in common? They both know how to draw blood.
  5. I stuck my hand in my pocket and my pencil stabbed me Thankfully it didn't draw blood
  6. What doctor should never draw your blood? Dr acula
  7. I just can't draw blood With this orange crayon.
    It isn't sharp enough.
  8. Why does a phlebotomist carry a red pen? To draw blood!!!
  9. If you draw a blood vessel, are you practicing artery?
  10. How does an artist donate to charity They draw blood.
  11. That's the last time my art teacher ever asked me to draw blood.
  12. Where do you draw blood from a Meteorologist? Their weather veins.
  13. Why is a red pen considered a weapon? Because it can draw blood.
  14. When is a nurse like an artist? When she's drawing your blood!
  15. Why did the vampire consider himself a good artist? He liked to draw blood!

Blood Draw Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about blood draw you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean taking blood jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blood draw pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Three Europeans wash ashore on an island occupied by cannibals...

They are caught quickly, and the cannibal chief tells them that they are to be eaten and their skins used to make canoes. They are horrified at the thought of being cooked or eaten alive, but at least a little of their fear is relieved when the chief tells them that they will be permitted to kill themselves in a manner of their own choosing.
The first, an Englishman, elects to shoot himself and asks for a p**.... He is presented with one, and says farewell to his friends before ending it.
The second, a Frenchman, asks for poison. He turns to the other, says "au revoir," and drinks the poison, dying shortly.
The third, a Pole, asks for a fork. The chief is confused, but hands him one anyway. The Pole proceeds to stab himself an excessive number of times all over his body, drawing copious amounts of blood and astonishing and even disturbing the onlooking cannibals somewhat. The chief grabs hold of him and asks him why he would make himself suffer so. The Pole says, "I can't stop you from eating me, but it looks like you're going to be short one canoe."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

The legend of Sorry the archer.

An archery contest is taking place, and all the top archers of Europe are in attendance. The final begins, and the three greatest archers must compete in shooting an apple from a little girls head.
The first archer steps up. He draws, and fires an arrow right through the apple. The audience applauds, he bows and proclaims "I am Robin Hood!"
The second archer steps up. He draws, and also hits the apple. He waves his hat at the cheering crowd, and cries out "I am William Tell."
The third archer steps up. He draws, and fires his arrow through the little girls eye. Blood sprays everywhere, the audience gasps and ladies faint. He takes his hat off, and announces "I am Sorry".

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Dad just laid this one on me:

Why do I have a red pen in my pocket?
So I can draw blood. . .
Wa wa waaaaaaaa

There once was a guy drawing blood...

...he used a pencillin.

A police officer pulls over a man...

Officer: Sir, you were swerving quite heavily back there. I would like you to take this breathalyzer test.
Man: I'm sorry officer, but I can't do that.
Officer: Well why not?
Man: I have asthma. If I do that I'll have an asthma attack and die.
Officer: Ok. How 'bout we go down to the station and do a blood test?
Man: I'm sorry officer, but I can't do that either.
Officer: Well why not?
Man: I am a hemophiliac. If I do that I'll bleed to death.
Officer: Ok. Well how 'bout I draw a line with chalk and you try to walk.
Man: I'm sorry officer, but I can't do that either.
Officer: Well why not?
Man: I'm too drunk.

I'm starting to get a bit self conscious about my weight

When I went for a physical last week I asked the nurse to weigh me after drawing blood but before giving me the flu shot.

I asked the blonde nurse why she had a red magic marker.

She said it's easier to draw blood with it.