The Best 32 Blondes On The Road Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Blondes On The Road jokes. There are some blondes on the road beautiful jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these blondes on the road brunet puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Blondes On The Road Jokes and Puns

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.

The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?" The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!" The cop looked at her and said, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener!"

As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.



The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing!

I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right.

Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left.

Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."

The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."

A blonde asks a bypasser:

Excuse me, would you tell me where the other side of the road is?

It's on the other side.

Strange.. When I was on the other side, people told me it's here...

A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit.



She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?"

A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?"

The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said, "You know,it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies, "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."


A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke.

A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat.

The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it??

A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!

A blonde crossing the road gets hit by a truck....

The truck driver jumps out to check on her.

Are you all right? he asks.

Everything is just a blur, says the blonde as she's lying in the street.

The man holds his hand in front of her face and asks, How many fingers have I got up?

Oh, no! she yells. Don't tell me I'm paralyzed from the waist down too!

How many sheep?

A blonde woman is tired of people assuming she's stupid and dyes her hair red. Feeling empowered, she goes for a car ride down a country road. Soon she sees a farm with hundreds of sheep. She walks up to the owner of the farm and makes this proposal: "These sheep are adorable, if I guess how many there are, can I keep one?" The farmer agrees, surely out of all the sheep this woman can't guess the number exactly. She looks around and replies "There are 593 sheep" The farmer is awe-struck, the number was exactly right. So the woman picks her sheep and is getting back in the car when the farmer runs up to her and yells "WAIT! If I can guess your natural color can I have him back?" The woman smiles and agrees, she already proved she's too smart to be called a blonde. The farmer replies "you're a blonde, now can I have my dog back?"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving through the desert...

When their car breaks down. Stranded in the middle of nowhere, they have no choice but to walk the road to safety. They each agree to carry something. The brunette brings a jug of water in case they get thirsty.
The redhead brings a blanket in case they need to camp for the night. The blonde brings the car door. The others ask why.

She says, "If we get hot, we can just roll the window down!"

How does a blond cross the road?

A brunette is on a busy street across from a department store she needs to visit, and is looking for an intersection to cross over when she spots a blonde walking out of the store.

The brunette waves and calls out over the traffic noise, "hey there! How do I get to the other side?"

The blonde looks confused and calls back, "you ARE on the other side!"

You can explore blondes on the road curls reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean blondes on the road caucasians dad jokes. There are also blondes on the road puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Three blondes discovers animal tracks in the road

The first blond says "these are deer tracks"

The second blond says "you're wrong, these are fox tracks"

The third blond says "you're both wrong, these are clearly wolf tracks"

Then while they're arguing over what kind of tracks they are, they all get hit by a train.

Cop sees a blonde with a bunch of penguins in the back of her car

So he stops her and asks her what she is doing with a bunch of penguins. She says she just saw them on the road and opened the door and they got in.

"You've got to take those penguins to the zoo," he says. Next day he sees her again with the penguins still in the back of her car.

Cop: Lady I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.

Blonde: I did and we had such a good time, today we're going to the park.

A blonde woman was speeding

down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."

Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland

... and came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home.

The Blonde and the Blinker

Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

Snow and Ice

A blonde was driving behind a snowplow, she followed him for over an hour. finally the snowplow driver pulls over and asks her what she was doing, she said that her husband had told her that if the roads were covered in snow or ice to find a snowplow and follow it.

He Said" That's very good advice, but I'm done with the Wal-mart parking lot now.do you want to follow me to the mall?"

A guy and a blonde were driving down the road.

The blonde asks her friend to see if the car's blinker is working. So the guy looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a road trip...

Their car stops running in the middle of nowhere and they can all take one thing to the nearby abandoned factory for survival. The redhead takes water in case they get thristy. The brunette takes food in case they get hungry. The blonde takes the car door, in case they get hot she can roll down the window.


Two blondes meet on a village road.

One of the blondes was carrying a large gunny bag over her shoulder.
'Hey there,' hailed second blonde, 'what is in the bag?'
'Chickens,' came the reply.
'If I guess how many, can I have one?'
'You can have both of them.'
'OK.. five?' Said the second blonde.

A blonde is walking on the side of a busy road and sees her blonde cousin walking across from her.

She calls out,

"How do I get to the other side?"

The cousin laughs,

"Silly, You're already on the other side!"

Two Blondes were working down the road from a mans house.

One blonde (who was naked) would take a shovel and dig a hole about 3-4 feet deep.

The second blonde (who didn't like cats) would then take the shovel and then put the dirt back in the hole.

They did this for about 4 hours on 6 different spots.

The man (who was left handed) was quite curious and went to the blondes and asked them what they were doing.

"There's usually another blonde who plants the tree but shes sick today"

Two Blondes....

Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag.
1st blonde: "What have you got in that bag?"

2nd blonde: "Chickens."

1st blonde: "If I can guess how many chickens you've got in that bag, can I have one of them?"

2nd blonde: "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this bag, you can have BOTH of them!!"

1st blonde: "Well, I think you've got three."

Blonde in a field.

A blonde woman is driving down a road when she sees another blonde in the middle of a field and she appears to be swimming. Angry at the site, the blonde driver slams on the brakes, hops out of the car and screams "YOU KNOW, IT IS BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD NAME!!" The blonde in the field replies "Yeah, well why don't you come out here and do something about it?" The blonde driver replies "I WOULD BUT I CAN'T SWIM!"

A blonde gets pulled over for speeding

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.

The officer asked to see the lady's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The officer replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the officer. "Here it is," she said.

The officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

Two Blondes were on their way to Disneyland.

Two Blondes were on their way to Disneyland.

They reach the road junction, and the sign display "Disneyland Left".

So, sadly, they went home...

The Blonde in the Boat

A blonde was driving down a country road when she spotted another blonde sitting in a row boat in the middle of a corn field. Being miffed by the ridiculousness of this situation, she pulled her car over and proceeded to yell at the other blonde, You know, it's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! If I could swim, I would come out there and beat you!

Lamborghini

A blondie was driving down the road with her Lamborghini. She stops at a red light.
A man walking on the sidewalk sees the car.

Man: Wow.. So beautiful!

The blonde rolled down her window.

Blonde: Are you talking about the car or me?

Man: I was talking about my reflection

Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.

"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"

The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"

He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.

"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"

"Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

A Blonde woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.

The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop…

A blonde is driving down the road when she spots another blonde in a row boat in the middle of a dirt field.

She pulls over, jumps out of her car and screams You're the reason us blondes get a bad name! I should swim out there and kick your ass!!

The blonde, the policeman, the jew, and the chicken from the other side of the road enter a bar.

The bartender stares at them for a few seconds, then asks: "Is this a joke?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the blondes on the road beauty jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working blondes on the road road piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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