Blondes On The Road Jokes

There are three blondes who are on a road trip.

As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down. They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. They each decide to take one thing to make the journey better. The first blonde takes the radio and says, "If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music." The second blonde decides to take a wheel, "In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled." The third blonde takes the car door, "In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!"

There are 2 women getting ready to leave for work.

The brunette gets in the driver's seat and the blonde gets in the passenger's seat.
The brunette says: "We're late, so you watch out the back window for cops." As she speeds down the road she asks the blonde:
"So, do you see any cops?"
The blonde replies: "Yes!"
The brunette says: "Are they behind us?"
"Yes!"
"Are they close?"
"Yes!"
"Are they going to stop us?"
"I don't know!"
"Well, are their lights on?"
The blonde replies: "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...!

Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in London.
The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus.
The Blonde team rides on the top level.
The Brunette team down below is living it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate.
When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
She says, "What the heck's going on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!"
One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"

A blonde woman is driving down the road.

She notices that she’s low on gas, so she stops at a gas station.
While she’s pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car.
So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself.
She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock.
Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is faring.
Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while the blonde inside the car is saying, “A little more to the left…a little more to the right!…”

A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road.
He was skeptical about hiring her, but she appeared enthusiastic and told him that she really needed the job.
He explained to her that her work day would be to complete 2 miles of line on her road, and he set her up with her brushes and paint and got her started.
After the first day, he was pleased to find that she did an excellent job and was able to paint 4 miles of road in her 8 hour shift.
He told her that she did an excellent job and how pleased he was with her progress.
On the second day, she completed painting 2 miles of road.
Her supervisor was surprised that on day one she had completed twice as much work, but did not say anything, as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required anyway.
He decided to just accept it, and to look forward to the next day when he was sure she would pick up her speed again.
On day 3 he was shocked to learn that in her 8 hour shift, she only completed painting 1 mile of road.
He called her into his office and asked her what was the problem, “On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, on your second day, 2 miles of road, and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road. Can I ask you, what is the problem?”
“Well, she replied, I keep getting farther and farther from the paint can.”

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road when her car breaks down.

She goes to the nearest farmhouse and knocks on the door.
When the farmer answers, she says to him, "My car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until I can get some help tomorrow?"
"Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke."
The blonde looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer.
"Okay," she says.
After going to bed, the woman begins to get a little hot thinking about the two boys in the room next to her.
So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?"
They say, "Huh?"
She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers."
She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long.
Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth.
Jed says, "Luke? You remember that blonde woman that came by here forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?"
"Yeah," says Luke, "I remember."
"Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed.
"Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not."
"Me neither," says Jed.
"Let's take these things off."

My (blonde) sister hates blonde jokes. I (redhead) told her I have a redhead joke for her. She was eager to hear it!

A redhead goes for a drive through the country, just enjoying the peaceful ride with her windows open. She has to stop as a shepherd is moving his flock across the road. The redhead gets out of her car to stretch and has an idea.
"Hey Mister! If I can guess how many sheep you have, may I keep one?"
The shepherd has hundreds of sheep and feels confident enough to agree. The redhead looks over the flock and says, "361." The shepherd is stunned that she guessed correctly but, being a man of his word, allows her to pick out her favorite. The redhead is about to put her new pet in her car when the shepherd calls out to her.
"Hey Lady! If I can guess your real hair color, may I have my dog back?"
 
My sister was not amused.

Community Service

A blonde was sentenced to a couple weeks of community service for a small crime she commited. Once assigned to a supervisor, he explained to her that her job was to paint the yellow line in the middle of the roads. Her quota was 2 miles a day.
By the end of the first day, the blonde painted 4 miles of yellow lines. The supervisor was very impressed and gave her compliments on a job well done.
By the end of the second day, she had done a little over 2 miles. The supervisor was satisfied because at least she met her quota.
By the end of the third day, she'd only painted half a mile of yellow lines. The supervisor approached her to ask why she did so little compared to the previous 2 days. The blonde replies, "*Well I put the paint bucket at the start of the road and the further I paint, the longer it takes to walk back to the bucket to dip my paint brush.*"

A blonde cuts off a truck driver on the highway...

the truck driver has bad road rage and forces the blonde to pull over. He runs up to the blonde and starts yelling at her. The truck driver draws a circle on the pavement and tells the blonde stay there. Then, the truck driver starts smashing her windshield. He looks back at the blonde and she's smiling. He gets even more mad so, he grabs a knife out of his truck and starts slashing her tires. The blonde is still laughing at him. Furious, he takes out his zippo and lights her car on fire. The blonde is laughing so hard, she's in tears. The truck driver storms over to the blonde and asks "I JUST DESTROYED YOUR CAR!! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING??" Wiping a tear from her eye, the blonde says, "While you were turned around, I stepped out of the circle three
times!"

Horrible Accident

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

Blonde, brunette, and a red head

A blonde, a brunette and a red head were running from the police. The three women ducked into an old barn on the side of the road. Inside the barn were three empty sacks and they decided to hide in them. In walk the police. They see the three sacks and are immediately suspicious. An officer kicks the sack the brunette is in so she says "Meow!"
"Oh it's just a cat." He says. The cop goes to the red head and kicks the sack shes in. She says "Woof!"
"Oh it's just a dog." So he moves onto the last sack where the blonde is hiding. He walks up and gives it one good kick.
"Potatoes!"

So there's this blonde...

and she's sick and tired of being stereotyped as the dumb blonde, so she decides to dye her hair and move to another city. After she died her hair brown, she packs up her things and leaves for the new city. Driving down a barren country road on the way there, she starts to get really hungry. With no restaurants in sight, she pulls in to the only home as far as the eye can see, a sheep farm. Thinking a sheep would make a tasty meal, she walks up to the house where the farmer is sitting on the front porch and asks him if she can guess how many sheep there are if she can have one. The farmer agrees. The woman has a knack for counting and adds up all the sheep really quickly and says "72". The farmer says "whelp, that's right, go grab your sheep and leave." The woman picks up her choice and starts walking back to her car, but before she gets in the farmer shouts after her "If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

A blond is driving down the road....

when a cop pulls her over for the tail light being broken. The cop approaches the car when he hears rumbling from the truck. "What's in the trunk, please open it? Said the cop. So the blond reluctantly opens the truck and there are 3 penguins sitting there. The cop says, "Why do you have 3 penguins in your trunk? I will give you a warning for your tail light only if you take them to the zoo immediately!" "Ok, ok right away," replied the blond.
The next day the cop sees the same car driving with the same tail light broken. So the cop pulls over the blond again. He approaches the car and hears rumbling from the truck again. "Miss, open your trunk!" The blond confusingly opens the trunk and there are 3 penguins with sun glasses on. "Ma'am, I told you specifically to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday. Why do you still have them?"
The blond said, "What do you want, I took them zoo and now I'm taking them to the beach."

Double dose (Blonde joke)

So, a blonde woman is driving down the road, speeding, when a cop pulls her over. Hoping she can get out of a ticket, she waits until a blonde police officer shows up at her door.
"Can I see your driver's license and registration?" the blonde policewoman asks.
"Which one's the driver's license?" the blonde civilian asks.
"It's a small rectangular thing with a photo of you on it..." the officer replies. The driver pulls out her pocket mirror and hands it over. "Oh, my mistake!" the officer said, looking at it. "If I knew you were a police officer, I wouldn't have pulled you over."

A Blonde, Brunette, and a Redhead...

were driving down a desert road when the car runs out of gas. Realizing the gas station is still 10 miles ahead, they each decide to take one item with them.
The Blonde asks the Brunette, "What are you going to take?". The Brunette responds, "I am going to take these sodas with us just in case we get thirsty, we have something to drink."
The Blonde then asks the Redhead, "What are you going to take?". The Redhead responds , "Well I guess I'll take the rest of the McDonalds we bought. If we get hungry, we have something to eat."
The Blonde then says aloud, "Well then I will take the car door, we're in the desert afterall, so if we get hot we can roll down the window."

A blonde woman was speeding...

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.
The officer asked to see the lady's driver's license.
She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said.
The officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

A blonde, brunette, and redhead escape from prison.

They made their way down the nearest road looking for somewhere to hide out for the night. After a couple of miles, they come upon a Barn on the side of the road. They thought "why not?" and slept in the barn for the night.
Unfortunately they overslept and awoke to find police investigating the grounds around the barn outside. "Better take a look inside" they heard a cop say. They decided to each hide in an empty burlap sack in an effort to evade the police.
As the cop searched the interior of the barn, he came upon 3 filled burlap sacks. Being lazy, he investigated the sack with the brunette with a kick from his boot. "Woof!" said the brunette. "Ah, just a dog in this one," said the cop. He then kicked the one with the redhead in it. "Meow!" she said. "Just a cat in that one," the cop said. He then kicked the one with the blonde in it. The blonde confidently exclaimed, "Potatoes!"

Joke of the day

There are three blondes who are on a road trip. As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down. They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. They each decide to take one thing to make the journey better. The first blonde takes the radio and says, "If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music." The second blonde decides to take a wheel, "In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled." The third blonde takes the car door, "In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!"

A blonde , brunette, and a readhead.

Are going on a road trip when they accidentally trespass into a secret military base and the punishment is viable by shooting. So they bring the readhead and make her stand against the wall . The captain exclaims .
"Ready ! Aim "
the read head than turns around and says.
" Tsunami!" and all the soldiers fall for it and the readhead escapes.
Next is the brunette. Same deal she lines up and the captain than says. " Ready ! aim ! ". The brunette than turns around and says .
" Tornado!" all the soldiers fell for it and she escapes.
Last is the blonde. "Ready ! Aim !" just when the captain is about to finish the blonde yells .
" Fire !"

Just another blonde joke

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a female police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" the driver asked.
"It's square and has your picture on it." The policewoman replied.
The driver finally found a square mirror and handed to the policewoman.
"Here it is." she said
The blonde officer and looked at the mirror and said,
"Sorry, I didn't realize you were a cop. You can go."

A blond was pulled over

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's rectangle and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a rectangle mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop too."

A blonde woman was speeding

down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."

Blonde is pulled over by a blonde cop..

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.
She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, 'Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop too.'

Another blonde joke

A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself.
She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is faring.
Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while the blonde inside the car is saying, "A little more to the left...a little more to the right!…"

A Blonde Joke

Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
"Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

A blonde gets pulled over for speeding

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.
The officer asked to see the lady's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The officer replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the officer. "Here it is," she said.
The officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."