Blonde Jokes
193 blonde jokes and hilarious blonde puns to laugh out loud. Read blonde jokes about blonde that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A collection of hilarious blonde jokes that will have you laughing out loud. From blonde and brunette jokes, to haircuts and money, you won't be able to contain your laughter at these classic jokes. Blondie might want to save these jokes for a rainy day!
Quick Jump To
- Short Blonde Jokes
- Blonde One Liners
- Blonde And Brunette Jokes
- Blonde Brunette Jokes
- You Know You Are A Blonde If Jokes
- Blonde Woman Jokes
- Blonde Girl Jokes
- More Blonde Jokes
Funniest Blonde Short Jokes
Short blonde jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blonde humour may include short blond haired jokes also.
- Two blondes are walking and one asks, which is closer, the moon or Florida? And the other responds, duh... ... can you see Florida?
- A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners The lady says, "Come Again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time." - A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest? The blonde, because she's the only one who's 18.
- A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police: - Hello, is this 911?
- Yes, what is your emergency?
- I called to inform you that you're 910 now. - Two blondes meet at a busy chicken market A: If I can guess how many chickens you have in that bag, can I have one?
B: You can have both
A: Three - Why can't a blonde dial 911? Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven. - Doctor: "I'm just waiting for your X-Ray." Blonde: "I've never dated anyone by that name."
- Why did the Blonde feel so proud of herself for finishing a jigsaw puzzle in only six months? It said 2-4 years on the box.
- Joke of the day about blondes. Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." :-D - What happens if a Danish blonde moves to Sweden? The average intelligence of both countries goes up.
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Blonde One Liners
Which blonde one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blonde? I can suggest the ones about blond hair and brunette.
- Why was the blonde snorting Sweet and Low? She thought it was diet coke.
- What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence
* - Two blondes walk into a bar You'd think the second one would have ducked
- How do you make a blonde laugh on a Friday night? Tell them a joke on Monday.
- What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant (with twins)
- Why did the blonde snort splenda? She thought it was diet coke.
- [Blonde] What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant.
- Why can't blondes work at the M&M Company? Because they throw away all the ones with w's
- How did the blonde break her legs raking leaves? She fell out of a tree.
- What do you call a smart blonde? A Golden Retriever.
- Why did 18 blondes goto the movies. Because it said under 17 not admitted
- Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Someone told her drinks were on the house.
- Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar? She heard drinks were on the house.
- Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because she can't find the number 11
- What do you call it when a blonde woman puts on a wig? Artificial Intelligence.
Blonde And Brunette Jokes
Here is a list of funny blonde and brunette jokes and even better blonde and brunette puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator.. Blonde starts shouting: "HELP! HELP!"
Brunette turns to her and says: "We should shout together."
Blonde: "TOGETHER! TOGETHER!" - A blonde and a brunette are discussing the previous night out... The brunette says, "Last night I slept with a Brazilian."
"Oh my god!" the blonde replies. "How many is THAT?" - A blonde and a brunette are stuck in the elevator Blonde: Help! Help!
Brunette: We should yell together!
Blonde: Together! Together! - 2 blondes, 2 brunettes, and 2 redheads walk into a bar. The 2 blondes say "hello" to the bartender... The 4 Non Blondes say "WHAT'S GOING ON!"
- A blonde and a brunette are in a car. Brunette: Christmas is on a Friday this year.
Blonde: I hope it's not the 13th. - A blonde and a brunette is sitting on a bench. Out of nowhere, the brunette says: Look! A dead bird!
The blonde gazes up into the air says where? - A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street when the brunette says, Aww… look a dead bird.
The blonde looks up at the sky and says, Where? … - If a woman likes you, you can tell her real hair colour from how it feels. Blondes touch you hard, brunettes touch you fast, redheads touch you... Gingerly
- Another Old Blonde Joke A brunette yells to a blonde across a river, "Hey! How do I get to the other side of the river?"
The blonde yells back "You are on the other side!" - What do you get when you turn a blonde girl upside down? A brunette with bad breath
Blonde Brunette Jokes
Here is a list of funny blonde brunette jokes and even better blonde brunette puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There's a brunette, red-head, and a blonde in the same Kindergarten class. Who has the biggest rack? The blonde. She's 19.
- A Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar . . . The Blonde, ironically, ducked.
- Did you hear about the war between the blondes and the brunettes? The blondes were throwing hand grenades, and the brunettes were pulling the pins and throwing them back.
- A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street The brunette says, "Look, a dead bird."
The blonde looks up in the sky and says, "Where?" - Brunette: "Where were you born?" Blonde: "The United States." Brunette: "Which part?" Blonde: "My whole body."
- What do you call a brunette standing behind two blondes? The translator.
- A blonde, a brunette and a red head are standing at the pearly gates. I don't believe this to be possible. I'm an atheist.
- A Brunette Asking A Blonde Brunette: "Where were you born?"
Blonde: "The United States."
Brunette: "Which part?"
Blonde: "My whole body." - (Q)..... What Do You Call A Brunette Standing Between Two Blondes? (A)..... The Interpreter.
- Blonde and Brunette are walking on the road.The Brunette says Look, a dead bird. The blonde looks up in the sky, WHERE,!WHERE?
You Know You Are A Blonde If Jokes
Here is a list of funny you know you are a blonde if jokes and even better you know you are a blonde if puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two blondes fall down a well One says to the other ones, "isn't it dark down here" she replies, I don't know I can't see
- A blonde is taking money out of an ATM, when the blonde behind her in line says, "Ha! Ha! I know your password. It's four asterisks."
The first blonde replies, "Ha! Ha! No it's not. It's 3862."
- Why couldn't the blonde dial 911? She didn't know where the 11 was.
- Do you know how the blonde broke her arms? She fell out of the tree while she was raking leaves
- 2 blondes fell into a hole The first one said "*Its dark in here,isn't it?*"
The second one said"*I don't know,I cant see.*" - Blonde: "Do you have any children?" Me: "Yes, I have one, thats just under 2."
Blonde: " I may be blonde, but I do know how many 1 is." - What did the blonde do with the boiling water? Froze it - you never know when you're going to need boiling water.
- Do you know why it takes longer to build a blonde snowman? You have to hollow out the head!
- "Did you know that Christmas day falls on a Friday this year?" said one blonde to another. "Oh dear!!" her friend replied, "I hope it's not the 13th?"
- Two blonds fall into a deep hole. One says "it's very dark down here, isn't it? "I don't know, I can't see..."
Blonde Woman Jokes
Here is a list of funny blonde woman jokes and even better blonde woman puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A woman stands on a boardwalk... She notices a man below looking up her dress.
"You, sir, are no gentleman!"
"And you, lady, are no blonde!" - Why did the blond girl became the Invisible Woman? Because she has to be dense enough for light to bend around her
- What do you call a blonde woman with 2 brain cells? ...pregnant!
- Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror? To see how she looks like when sleeping.
- Ad in the local paper: 25 year old woman, very attractive, beautiful blonde hair, perfect measurements, intelligent, with good sense of humor and stable income - Selling dump truck.
- I was worried that the mechanic would rip me off because I was a blonde woman. Imagine my relief when I found out that I only needed indicator fluid.
- Why did the blonde woman have bruises covering her belly?!? Because her boyfriend was blonde too...
- What did the blonde woman say when the doctor told her she was pregnant? How do you know it's mine?
- 3 Brazilian A blonde was listening to the radio when suddenly she heard "3 Brazilian men died in a fatal car accident." The woman then asked, "How much is a Brazilian?"
- The Blonde jokes A woman yells to a blonde walking along a river, "How do I get on the other side!?" The blonde says, "You are on the other side!"
Blonde Girl Jokes
Here is a list of funny blonde girl jokes and even better blonde girl puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two blonde girls are celebrating at a table... The waiter comes by and asks "What are you celebrating?"
They say "We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!" - A blond girl turns on the radio and hears that 2 Brazilian men were killed As she starts to cry she asks "How many is a Brazilian?"
- Two blonde girls... ...were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland left. They started crying and headed home.
- Blonde Joke Why did the blonde girl have bruises around her belly button?
Because blonde guys aren't smart either (Sorry if it's a repost.) - A man sees a blonde girl staring intently at a ice cube in her hand The man asks the girl why she's staring at the ice cube and she responds, "I'm trying to figure out where it's leaking from."
- Why was the blonde girl sitting on the roof? Someone told her drinks were on the house.
- What sound does a blonde white girl make while meditating? "Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?"
- Whats the difference between a blond girl and an elevator? An elevator only fits 5 people in it.
- How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree! I may not be a girl, but I'm blonde and find blonde jokes hilarious. xD
- Two blonde girl goes to a bar. The bartender asks: 'Are you sisters?'
The two blonde says: 'No, we aren't even catholics.'
Fun-Filled Blonde Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about blonde you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blond girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blonde pranks.
h**...
A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu:
"Cheeseburgers: $5
Fries: $3
h**...: $10."
He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the h**...?"
"Yes, I am," she replies seductively.
"Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
A blonde mom is cooking dinner when her blonde daughter walks in
The daughter asks, "Mom, why do people think we blondes are s**...?"
Her mother replies, "I'll show you", and taps hard on the kitchen counter.
Somewhat confused, the blonde daughter says, "Someone's at the door!".
The blonde mother laughs. "This is why people think we're s**.... Now watch over the stove for me while I answer the door."
So..the wife and I were in town shopping....
..and as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. One of them, a tall blonde, had really fantastic, long, toned and tanned legs.
I gently nudged my wife and said "I bet you wish you still had legs like that!".
She got really upset with me..in fact I could still hear her sobbing as I wheeled her up the ramp into the next store.
A blonde buys a gun.
A young blonde is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home early to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She pulls the gun from her purse and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''
A husband comes home to find his beautiful blonde wife sitting at the kitchen table in tears.
"What's wrong, dear?" He asks
Through her tears she says, "well, I've been trying to put this puzzle together all day and I just can't seem to figure it out! It's supposed to be a tiger."
He looks at her and in his most sympathetic voice says, "sweetheart, put the frosted flakes back in the box."
Ba dum-tiss
Blonde walks into a...
A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."
How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?
When she can't find her pencil and there is a t**... behind her ear.
Blondes At The Bus Stop.
Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.
A bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside, asking the driver - "will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"
The bus driver shakes his head, "no, I'm sorry, it won't" he says.
The other blonde leans inside and asks, "how about me?"
A blonde walks into a drycleaners
and says 'good morning' to the elderly attendant and hands him a blouse. The man didn't hear too well and asked, "Come again"?
The blonde turned red and giggled. "No, just mayonnaise this time."
Why was the blonde nymphomaniac sad after she got her driver's license?
She got an F in s**....
A Blonde and Condoms
The most beautiful blonde woman you've ever seen walks into the drugstore. She walks to the pharmacy and asks if they sell Extra-Large condoms, the cashier says yes and points her down aisle 11. About 30 minutes go by and the pharmacist notices that the blonde is still looking at the condoms. He decides to see if she needs any help. He says, "Did you find the extra large condoms?" She responds, "Yes, now I'm just waiting for someone to buy some."
There were 2 blondes...
So I was sat on my porch one day and I saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One was digging a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after the first was done. This went on for about 2 hours until I walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?"
To which one of the blondes replied "Well there's usually 3 of us, but the one who plants the trees is off sick today".
My blonde girlfriend froze
In the middle of love making so I gave her an interrogative f**... expression. " oh..I saw this on youporn" she said," they call it bufferring".
Two Blondes are out on a hike....
....when one looks down and sees some tracks. "Hey look, deer tracks!" she exclaims. The other blond looks over and says, "Those aren't deer tracks! Those are rabbit tracks!" After about 10 minutes of bickering about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.
A blonde is pulled over by a police officer...
"May I see your License Ma'am?"
"You know you cops really need to get your act together... One day your buddy takes my license away, and the next you ask for it"
Two Blondes
Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been upto;
"I had s**... with two Brazilian guys last night"
"Wow - I've never even met that many guys" replied the other
2 blondes were walking along a beach when one said, "Look! A dead bird!"
The other looked up.
Canine Names
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"
From my dad: What do you get when a t**... blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a t**... brunette?
Your camera.
Peter is different
A couple have 13 children, 12 of them are blonde and have blue eyes, 1 has black hair and brown eyes, his name is Peter. One day the wife of the couple is dying of illness, her husband is sitting on her bed. The husband says "Our Peter is different from the other kids, does he have a different father?" His wife says yes. And, the man says, "Then, who is his dad?" Upon which his wife says, "You".
A blonde woman was trying to do a Jigsaw Puzzle
She got very frustrated that she struggling so she decided to ask her husband for help.
She said "Can you help me finish this puzzle, Its supposed to be a Bird"
Her husband replied "Put the Froot Loops back in the Cupboard"
A college professor asks all of his students to yell out stereotypes for a class project
For a class project, a college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.
"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.
"Sony!" Yells the blonde girl in the front.
A blonde is walking along the shoreline of a lake in Minnesota looking for seashells when she spots another blonde across the lake from her. Eager for company she shouts loudly "How do I get to the other side?"
The other blonde shouts back "You're on the other side!"
A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator...
And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.
The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."
The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"
No offense anyone...hehe
Two Blondes meet up for coffee...
Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been up to.
"I had s**... with two Brazilian guys last night", she said.
"Wow - I've never even met that many guys" replied the other.
A blonde woman walks into a library
A blonde woman walks into a library and talks to the lady at the front desk and says " I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a pepsi."
The lady replies "Ma'am, this is a library."
The blonde looks around, then whispers " I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fry, and a pepsi."
(Credit goes to my dad for this one. He had another one that I can't remember but once I do I'm coming back to post it)
A man sees a blonde across the river.
Man: How do I get to the other side?
Blonde: You are on the other side.
A blonde is putting together a puzzle. She is very frustrated and asks her husband for help.
"It's supposed to be a tiger!" she cries.
"Honey," says her husband wearily, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box."
A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners...
A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners. On the way out of the door the lady at the counter says come again. The blonde says no, its toothpaste this time.
A Blond goes to work in tears.
A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "My mom died."
He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine."
Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"
She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"
Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland
... and came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home.
A woman heard that her blonde friend was in the hospital
She went to visit her, and found her propped up in bed with bandages over both her ears.
"What in the world happened to you?" she asked.
"It was the craziest thing," said the blonde. "I was ironing clothes when the phone rang. Without thinking I held the iron up to my ear and said 'hello?'"
"But what happened to your other ear?"
"I had to call the ambulance, didn't I?"
A blonde goes to the dry cleaners.
She tells the attendant that she needs to have her dress cleaned.
However, the attendant wasn't paying attention. Snapping out of his day dream, he asked, "Come again?"
Giggling, the blonde replied, "No, just mustard this time."
A beautiful blonde walks up to a craps table...
She bets ten thousand on one roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel luckier when I'm n**...."
She strips down and rolls the dice. When she sees the dice she jumps for joy screaming "I won! I won!" She hugs the dealers, takes her winnings and leaves.
Finally, one of the dealers asks, "What did she roll?" The other says, "I thought you were watching!"
It goes to show: Not all blondes are dumb, but men will always be men.
A Blonde Tries To Solve A
A blonde has been working on her new puzzle for a couple days now but can't seem to get it right. One day, her husband comes home to his wife crying at the kitchen table. He rushes over and asks his wife why she was crying, and she replies "I've been working on the puzzle forever but can't figure it out! It's supposed to be a tiger." The husband shakes his head and says "honey put the Frosted Flakes back in the box"
Another blonde joke
A professor told his class:
"Fame will come to you only after you succeed!"
A blonde asked, "Who is 'Seed'?"
A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian "CAN I GET A BIG MAC FRIES AND A COKE?!!" The librarian says "excuse me miss.....this is a library."
The blonde says...."oh im sorry (whispers) can i get a big mac fries and a coke?"
A blonde tried to commit s**...
Police found six bullet holes in her mirror.
Three blondes found some tracks...
The first blonde said, "Those are bear tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, those are deer tracks!"
The third blonde said, "No those are dog tracks!"
And that was when the train hit them.
What time is it?
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on an island
The redhead tries to swim back to land, gets a quarter of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.
The brunette decides to try, swims a third of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.
Finally the blonde tries, swims half of the way there, gets tired, swims back.
Some blondes are in a car on their way to Disneyland.
When they see a sign at an intersection.
"Disneyland left" ←
so they went back home.
Two blondes are locked out of their car...
The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"
A beautiful blonde woman approaches a pharmacist and asks, "Do you have extra large condoms?"
The pharmacist replies, "Yes, isle 11."
The blonde goes to the isle. But about 30 minutes later she is still looking at the condoms. The pharmacist calls over to her, "Do you need some help?"
The woman replies, "No, I'm just waiting for somebody to buy some."
Blonde gets caught speeding.
The cop is also a blonde.
Cop: Let me see your driver's license.
Driver: What's that?
Cop: A square thing with your picture on it.
Blonde fumbles through her purse, finds a mirror, sees herself in it, and hands it to the cop.
Cop looks at it, hands it back and says,
I'm gonna let you go without a ticket. I didn't know you were a cop.
(
Two blondes get stuck in elevator
One of them starts yelling: HELP, HEEEELP
The other one then suggests: Maybe we should start yelling together
The first blonde starts yelling again: TOGETHER, TOGETHEEEEER
A blonde is working on a puzzle...
She calls her husband over and says, "This is the hardest jigsaw puzzle I've ever seen in my whole life!"
The husband responds, "What do you mean, honey?"
She says, "Well there's a picture of a tiger on the box, but looking at all these pieces, I don't see how in the world this is going to ever make picture of a tiger."
The husband says, "That's alright honey, let's just put all the cereal back in the box."
Two blondes meet on a village road.
One of the blondes was carrying a large gunny bag over her shoulder.
'Hey there,' hailed second blonde, 'what is in the bag?'
'Chickens,' came the reply.
'If I guess how many, can I have one?'
'You can have both of them.'
'OK.. five?' Said the second blonde.
Body Pain
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, Doctor I'm hurting all over my body.
That's odd , replied the doctor, Show me what you mean
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, You're not a natural brunette are you?
No I'm a blonde , she replies.
I thought so…. your finger is broken. , replies the doctor.
Three blondes are walking through the forest when they come across a set of tracks.
The first blonde says, "Hey, look at that, deer tracks!"
The second blonde chimes in and responds, "No, Becky, those are moose tracks!"
The third blonde steps in and says, "You two are both wrong, those are obviously elk tracks!"
The three blondes kept arguing about what animal left the tracks until they were eventually hit by a train.
Two blondes are going to Disney Land
At the turn off, they see a sign saying "Disneyland left"
They went home crying.
Two blondes were walking through the park digging holes and filling them up again.
One of them would dig the holes, and the other would fill them up. One man couldn't control his curiosity and asked the blondes why they were digging and filling holes pointlessly, to which one replied:
"Well, there was supposed to be another one of us planting saplings before we fill the holes, but she couldn't come so we'll have to make do without her."
A blonde and her husband are watching the news...
News: A Brazilian man died while skydiving when his parachute didn't open.
The blonde bursts into tears
Husband (comforting her): I know it's sad, but people need to know that there's a risk while skydiving.
Blonde: But that's a lot of people. How many is a Brazilian?
A blonde...
...works in a petrol station filling up cars. One day, a spaceship with 'UFO' written on the side lands next to the blonde. The blonde cheerfully fills it with fuel and the spaceship flied off.
The blonde's boss, shocked, comes out to ask why she filled it up.
"Do you know what 'UFO' stands for?" He asks.
"Of course." She replies, "Unleaded Fuel Only".
credits to u/Mr-Everest
A blonde walks into a library (*not the whole joke)
She says to the librarian "Hiiii, I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."
The librarian says, "Lady, this is a library!"
Embarrassed, the blonde apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."
Two blondes in a helicopter
Two blondes won a joy ride in a helicopter. As they reached maximum altitude one turned to the other and said "I hope nothing goes wrong, have they got enough fuel?" The other responded "I hope so too, imagine if they ran out, we'd be stuck up here forever!"
Two Blondes....
Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag.
1st blonde: "What have you got in that bag?"
2nd blonde: "Chickens."
1st blonde: "If I can guess how many chickens you've got in that bag, can I have one of them?"
2nd blonde: "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this bag, you can have BOTH of them!!"
1st blonde: "Well, I think you've got three."
A blonde came up to the librarian and yelled, "This book s**...! There's way too many characters and the story makes no sense!"
The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."
A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.
Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a similar strategy and, on her turn, yells "FIRE!"
How do you know a blonde has been trying to commit s**...?
There are bullet holes in the mirror.
Why does the blonde have smudges on the inside of her windshield?
She needs to drag her finger across the words as she's reading street signs.
Note: I just made this up. However, please tell me if someone else has a similar one.
A blonde was driving on the way to disneyland.
She came to an intersection and stopped, she saw a sign that read, 'Disneyland Left'. So she pulled a U-turn, cried and drove home.
A blonde and a brunette are talking about their boyfriends' dandruff problems
The brunette says, my boyfriend used to have dandruff, but I gave him Head and Shoulders and it went away in a few days
The blonde thinks for a minute and then replies, how do you give shoulders?
Why did the blonde woman have bruises on her belly button?
Because blonde men are s**... too.
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.
She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.
At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."
He ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."
The blonde's password
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
