Blonde Redhead And Brunette Jokes
126 blonde redhead and brunette jokes and hilarious blonde redhead and brunette puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blonde redhead and brunette that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Blonde Redhead And Brunette Short Jokes
Short blonde redhead and brunette jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blonde redhead and brunette humour may include short brunette redhead and blonde jokes also.
- 2 blondes, 2 brunettes, and 2 redheads walk into a bar. The 2 blondes say "hello" to the bartender... The 4 Non Blondes say "WHAT'S GOING ON!"
- If a woman likes you, you can tell her real hair colour from how it feels. Blondes touch you hard, brunettes touch you fast, redheads touch you... Gingerly
- There's a brunette, red-head, and a blonde in the same Kindergarten class. Who has the biggest rack? The blonde. She's 19.
- in a kindergarten class, there is a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. which one do you date? the blonde. she's 18.
- A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are each in their own rooms, who is the hottest? Whoever forgot to turn on the air conditioner.
- [Walks into a bar] A blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a bar Bartender looks at them and says : Is this a joke ?
- A blonde, redhead and a brunette are stuck in a game the game has 100 stairs with jokes written on them. If you laugh, you die
- I made six figures last year! A blonde, a brunette, a redhead, a Cherokee, a Latina, and a Spaniard!
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Blonde Redhead And Brunette One Liners
Which blonde redhead and brunette one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blonde redhead and brunette? I can suggest the ones about blonde brunette redhead and redhead and brunette.
- A Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar . . . The Blonde, ironically, ducked.
- A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert.
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Blonde Redhead And Brunette Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about blonde redhead and brunette you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blonde and redhead jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blonde redhead and brunette pranks.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police.
They run into an old barn and hide in potato sacks. The officer chasing them walks into the barn looking for them. He kicks the first sack with the redhead inside and the redhead says, "Woof woof!" The cop thinks it's a dog, so he walks to the next one. He kicks the second bag with the brunette, and she says, "Meow meow!" The cop believes it's a cat and moves on. He kicks the third bag with the blonde, and the blonde yells, "Potato potato!"
A blonde, a fat brunette, and a skinny redhead find a magic mirror.
If you lie to the mirror you die. The redhead says, "I look fat," and dies. The brunette says, " I look skinny," and dies. The blonde says, "I think..." and dies.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three women (a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette) are lost in the forest while hunting.
They each have a shotgun with 2 bullets. They make a fire. Then the redhead gets up and goes hunting. She comes back with 2 rabbits. The other two say, "Wow, where did you get that?" She says, "I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw rabbits. Rabbits ran. I shot. Rabbits stopped." Then the brunette leaves and comes back with a deer. The other two say, "Wow, Where did you get that?" She says, "I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw deer. Deer ran. I shot. Deer stopped." The blonde leaves and comes crawling back, all bloodied and black and blue. They others say, "Wow, where did you get that?" She says, "I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw train. Train ran. I shot. Train didn't stop."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, brunette and redhead were smoking cigarettes one afternoon.
The blonde had Camels, redhead had Marlboros, and the brunette had Kools. It began to pour down raining, so the redhead and brunette both pull out condoms and put them on their cigarettes. The blonde asks, "What are you doing?" and they reply, "We're saving it for later." Impressed, and in a hurry, the blonde goes to the nearest store and asks for a c**.... The clerk says "What size: small, medium, or large?" She answers, "I don't know, one to fit a camel?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a Mexican prison.
They committed a crime and have been sentenced to death. The women are instructed to say when they are ready for the firing squad to shoot and kill them. The brunette is called up. She says, "Ready, aim, tornado!" Afraid of an approaching funnel cloud, the police quickly turn around and the brunette runs away. Once regrouped, the redhead is summoned. She says, "Ready, aim, earthquake!" Fooled again, the police quickly turn around to get cover while the redhead runs away. Then it's the blonde's turn, who says, "Ready, aim, fire!"
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are all being chased by cops.
They reach an alley and there are 3 barrels. The redhead goes into the barrel filled with cats, the brunette goes into the barrel full of dogs, and the blonde goes inside the barrel filled with potatoes. The cops arrive at the alley and kick the barrels to see which ones have people in them. The cop kicks the barrel with cats and the redhead goes "Meow meow" so she doesn't get caught. The cop kick the barrel with dogs and the brunette goes "Bark bark" so she doesn't get caught. The cop kicks the barrel with the potatoes and the blonde says "Potato, Potato".
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets.
First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead.
She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."
The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?"
The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"
One day a blonde, brunette, and redhead were stuck on an island 100 miles away from civilization.
The only way to get home was to swim.
The brunette swam 50 miles before drowning.
The redhead swam 64 miles before getting attacked by a shark.
The blonde went 99 miles but got tried a swam back to the island.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company.
After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde team had installed 7. The contractor was outraged with the blonde team and demanded to know why they had done so few.
"Hey, we saw what the other teams were doing. Their's were still sticking out of the ground."
Three women escape from prison….one is a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde.
They run for miles until they come upon an old barn; they decide to hide in the hayloft and rest.
When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage.
About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy come into the barn. T
he sheriff tell his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft.
When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw.
The deputy told him just three gunnysacks.
The sheriff told him to find out what was in them…..so the deputy kicked the first bag, which had the redhead in it……and she went “Bow-wow.”
So the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one.
Then he kicked the one with the brunette in it and she went “Meow.”
The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one.
Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again and the blonde said
“Potatoes.”
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation.
They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning – though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words.
She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.”
They throw the switch and nothing happens.
They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words.
“I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.”
They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.
Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.”
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There is legend that goes like this:
In a bar in New York there is a magical mirror If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you a wish If you lie – p**... it swallows you up.
A brunette, a blonde and a redhead walk into this bar.
They head straight for the mirror.
The redhead goes first and says “I think I’m the most beautiful woman on Earth” p**...- the mirror swallows her up.
The brunette goes up to the mirror and says “I think I’m the sexiest woman on Earth” p**... – the mirror swallows her up.
Last, the blonde goes up to the mirror says ” I think...” p**...!
A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her.
He called his mother to share his good news with her.
He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee.
When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one.
He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law.
She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead."
"How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired.
She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast s**.
.. Swim across the English Channel.
After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead.
No sign of the blonde.
After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore.
They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink.
After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead escape the women's prison...
(I don't know why my friends like this one so much, feel free to tell them it's awful and confirm my opinion.)
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead escape the women's prison late one night. With the police hot on their heels, they decide to hide in an abandoned factory. Splitting up, they all take their various hiding places in the factory just as the police kick down the door.
The police begin to search, and they hear a noise coming from an old crate. The redhead, who is hiding in the crate, hears them approach and quickly barks, "WOOF, WOOF". "Oh, it's just a stray dog," says an officer and continues the search. Nearby the police hear some rattling from within a pile of old manufacturing equipment. The brunette, who is amid the equipment, quickly does her best cat imitation, "MEOW, MEOW". "Nothing but an old cat," says one of the police as they continue the search.
At last, in the back of the factory, the police hear some rustling coming from a large burlap sack, which they surround and demand, "Who's in there? Come out!" The blonde, who is inside, having heard her fellow escapees successes thinks to herself for a moment and then says, "POOOOTAAAATOOOO."
So a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde all work in a very small office
One day their boss Ms. White tells them, "Hey guys, I am going to knock off a little early. I'll see you tomorrow."
Well, the three ladies start talking and they all decide that since the boss wasn't around, they were going to leave too.
The red head went to meet her friends at a bar, the brunette called her boyfriend and went to a movie, but the blonde just went home.
When she got there she heard noises coming from her bedroom. She carefully peeked in and saw her boss and her husband passionately knocking the boots.
Well, she dashed out of the house as quietly as she could and went to the mall until it was her normal time to go home.
The next day Ms White told her three workers she was leaving work early again. And again the three discussed sneaking out early. The blonde said, "No way! The last time we did that, I almost got caught!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a legend about a bar in NYC
This bar has a magic mirror. Whenever someone tells the mirror a true fact about them self, they are granted a wish. Whenever someone tells a lie to the mirror, they are s**... into it to never be seen again. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into the bar.
The brunette walks up to the mirror and says "I think I am the smartest girl in this bar" and is s**... in.
The redhead says "I think I am the prettiest girl in this bar" and is s**... in.
The blonde says "I think..." and gets s**... in.
On the run
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead escaped from prison and ran into a nearby barn. They all three jumped into burlap sacks to hide when they heard police sirens in the distance. Soon two officers walked into the barn and immediately spotted the three sacks. One officer approached the first sack and kicked it, the redhead barked. "oh this must be a dog" said the officer. He kicked the second bag and the brunette meowed. "oh, this must be a cat" said the officer. He kicked the third and final sack and the blonde screamed out "potatoes".
Blonde, Brunette, and a Redhead
So a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead committed some major crimes and were sentenced to death by the firing squad. The jailer come up to the redhead and takes her to where she needs to stand and asks her,
"Any last words?"
"Nope," replies the redhead.
The jailer says, "ready, aim, ...."
The redhead yells out, "TORNADO!!!"
They all look around but the redhead is gone.
The jailer, now angry, goes and gets the brunette and asks her, "any last words?"
"Nope," replies the brunette.
The jailer says, "ready, aim, ..."
The brunette yells out, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"
Everyone looks around but the brunette is now gone.
The blonde is now thinking to herself, "oh I get it, they are doing natural disasters!!" So the jailer comes and gets her, now furious beyond belief. "Any last words?" he asks.
"Nope," the blonde replies with a smile on her face.
So the jailer says, "ready, aim, ..."
The blonde yells out, "FIRE!!!"......
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are lost in the wilderness...
...and they become very excited when they come across tracks. As they are following the tracks, the three of them take a guess on what animal could have possibly left them.
"Obviously, it must have been a horse," said the Blonde.
"No no no, we're in the forest, it must have been a deer," said the Brunette.
"You're both idiots. Obviously it's a dog!" said the Redhead.
They debated until the train came and hit them.
Another blond joke
Three girls, a blond, a brunette and a redhead are out walking a dog and the dog escapes and runs on to a private property, the girls decide that they will take the risk and find the dog. After five minutes an old man comes out and starts yelling at them to get off his property; they leave but come back later to search for the dog. The old man hears them then calls the police. The girls hear the police, they spot a barn and run into it. The red head hides with the chickens, the brunette with the pigs and the blond with the potatoes. The police check out the barn and first check out the chickens the redhead becoming desperate starts saying "Bock bock bock" They don't think anyone is there and they move onto the pigs. The brunette becoming desperate went "Oink, oink oink!" the police think nobody is there and moves on to the potatoes and the blond becoming desperate goes "Potato, Potato, Potato!"
Three men, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead are eating lunch...
... During their break at work. They all pull out their sandwiches and open them up to find out what they got to eat. First the redhead sees that he got ham and exclaims, "Ham again! If I get ham again I'm going to jump off a cliff and kill myself!" Next the brunette opens his sandwich and exclaims, "Turkey again! If I get turkey again I'm going to jump off a cliff and kill myself!" Lastly the blonde opens his sandwich and exclaims, "If I get peanut Butter and jelly one more time I'm going to jump off a cliff and kill myself!" The next day all three men got the same type of sandwich again and proceeded to the nearest cliff and jumped off.
Now the wifes are being interviewed:
The redheads wife says "If I would have known, I would have never done it!" And burst out crying The brunettes wife says "If I would have known I would have never done it!" And burst out crying. Lastly the blondes wife says "Hey don't look at me, he made his own sandwiches"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead spy get caught behind enemy lines...
The enemy puts each of them against a fence to be shot.
The general orders his squad, "Ready. Aim."
The brunette spy is quick on her feet and yells, "TORNADO! TORNADO! TORNADO!"
The entire firing squad goes to the bunker to hide and waits for the tornado to pass. The brunette then unties her b**... and escapes. The redhead spy sees this and comes up with her own plan. The firing squad returns to kill the remaining two spies.
The general orders again, "Ready. Aim."
The redhead spy then shouts, "EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE!"
The enemy takes cover from the earthquake. The redhead spy then unties her b**... and escapes. The blonde spy is no dumby she gets an idea of her own. The firing squad returns to kill the last remaining spy.
The general orders once more, "Ready. Aim."
The blonde spy ready to run yells, "FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!"
A Blonde A Brunette and A Redhead trespassed onto a farm
later a farmer came to chase them out so they all went hiding in the barnyard. The redhead hid with the pigs and said "oink" "oink", the brunette hid with the cows and said "moo" moo", and the blonde hid under a potato sack and said "potato" potato"
When 3 Women Escape...
A blonde, a brunette, and redhead escape from prison late one night. Closely in pursuit and on their heels are the police. The 3 convicts come to a farm with a dark barn and find empty sacks which they decide to hide in for cover.
The police track the women to the farm and begin to check the barn but come up empty handed. Taking their leave, they notice 3 sacks moving and become curious. "Whaddya say, Hal? We best check these here sacks just in cases theys be hidin in dem."
The officers nudge the first sack, which the brunette has hidden in, and it begins to make noises, "Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!" The polices firmly agree with one another that this sack is just filled with kittens. Upon nudging the second sack, this time with the redhead inside, noise come from it, as well, "Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!"
"Heck, Stu, these here sacks ain't filled with nothing but farm pets. They's gals done gave us the slip agin!" Just as the officers are taking their leave, they notice the third sack, this one with the blonde in it, wriggling. Eyeing it suspiciously, they nudge it and the sound comes from it saying, "Potatoes!"
The magic mirror
Some say that there is a magic mirror in a shopping ladies room that could grant any wish if you tell it the truth, but will make you disappear if you lie in front of it.
Once there was a beautiful brunette that found this mirror and said:
- I've been thinking a lot and I think I'm the hottest brunette on earth!
*puff* and there she ceased of exist.
Then came a heartbreaking redhead and said:
- I've been thinking a lot and I think I'm the hottest redhead on earth!
*puff* and there she goes too.
Then came a blonde, the most pretty girl you can imagine.
- I've been thinking... *puff*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blonde, brunette, and a redhead
Once upon a time, there was a blonde, brunette and a redhead... And there was a magic mirror. If you went up to the magic mirror and said something true, nothing would happen to you. But if you went up to the magic mirror and said something false, you would disappear.
So the redhead goes up to the mirror and says, "I think I am the prettiest girl in the world!" *p**...* she disappears.
The brunette goes up to the mirror and says, "I think I am the prettiest girl in the world!" *p**...* she disappears.
The blonde goes up to the mirror and says, "I think" *p**...* she disappears.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Magical Mirror
There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there's a magical mirror. If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you one wish... but if you lie - p**...! - it swallows you up for eternity.
A brunette, redhead, and a blonde walk into that very bar - with a mission. They head straight for the magic mirror. The redhead goes first and says "I think I'm the most beautiful woman on Earth" p**...! - the mirror swallows her up and she's gone for eternity.
The brunette goes up to the mirror and says "I think I'm the sexiest woman on Earth" p**... - now she's gone too.
Lastly, the blonde goes up to the mirror says " I think........" - p**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An oldie but goodie
Three women, a redhead, brunette and blonde, find themselves stranded on a deserted island. While looking for supplies the redhead stumbled upon an old, well decorated bottle. After she brought it back to camp she and her friends began to clean it off when suddenly a genie sprang out of the bottle. In a deep, deliberate tone the genie said "You have awakened a genie! I have the power to grant any three wishes you desire. Because all three awakened me each of you get one wish!" The genie looked at the redhead who quickly shouted "I WISH TO GO HOME!" and p**... she was gone. The genie then looked at the brunette who couldn't say "I WISH TO GO HOME!" fast enough and p**... she was gone. The genie then looked at the blonde who had a tear in her eye and her head was hung low. "Why are you so sad" asked the genie, to which the blonde responded "I wish my friends were here."
A redhead, an brunette, and a blonde are about to be executed by a firing squad.
The redhead is first, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the redhead screams "tornado!" so everyone runs away and she escapes.
The brunette is next, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the brunette screams "earthquake!" so everyone runs away and she escapes.
The blonde is last, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the blonde screams "fire!"
A brunette, redhead, and blonde are all trapped on a deserted island.
They come across a lamp half buried in the sand, brush it off, and upon rubbing it, a genie comes out.
"I will grant you each one wish," exclaims the genie.
The brunette steps up, "I wish to be back home with my family."
"Very well," says the genie. He snaps his fingers and the brunette disappears.
The redhead agrees, "I, too, wish to be back home with my family."
The genie nods, and snaps his fingers.
This leaves the blonde.
The genie turns to her and waits.
The blonde cries, "Well I'm all alone now.. I wish for my friends back!"
Blonde, Brunette, Redhead
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are trapped on an island 1000 kilometers from shore, and the only way to get back is to swim.
The brunette goes 200 kilometers, gets tired, and drowns.
The redhead goes 650 kilometers, gets tired, and also drowns.
Then the blonde gets to 999 kilometers, gets tired, turns around and swims back.
Blonde Execution
Three women are getting executed by firing squad for committing a crime. One is a brunette, one is a redhead, and one is blonde. First the brunette is brought up onto the stage, with the squad assembled in front of her. She is asked for her last words, and she points behind the crowd and yells, "Tornado!" Everybody turns to look, and the brunette escapes.
The next day, the redhead is brought up onto the stage to be executed, with the same setup. When asked for her last words, she yells, "Lightning!" Everybody turns to look, and the redhead escapes.
The day after that, the blonde is brought up onto the stage. She is asked for her last words, and the blonde looks behind the firing squad, and yells, "Fire!
So a Blonde Brunette and a Redhead are all assistants to a powerful lady C.E.O.....
The C.E.O tells the ladies she is leaving for the day and for them to watch things/do her work while she is out. When the C.E.O. leaves, the Redhead says, "Man this is the 3rd time this week she's done this to us!"
The Brunette starts to gather her things and replies: "that's it, I'm outa here." The Redhead shakes her head in agreement but the Blonde rejects the idea. Soon enough the Brunette and Redhead leave and advise the Blonde to do the same. Eventually the Blonde leaves but just decides to go home and spend time with her husband. The next day the Brunette and Redhead arrive early to work and are greeted by the C.E.O. storming past them and locking herself in her office, her face full of shame and embarrassment. The Blonde arrives, late and looking flustered. The Brunette and Redhead ask the Blonde if they know what's wrong with the C.E.O., she replies, "aww I knew she would be mad, all I wanted to do was surprise my husband by coming home early, and instead I end getting caught by my boss in my own home!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette..
are having their usual lunch of PB&J sandwiches in their high school cafeteria one day, when the blonde speaks up "I can't stand it, every day for the last year our mothers only make PB&J and I'm sick of it!"
The other two girls agree they are tired of the same lunch, so the blonde comes up with the idea that if tomorrow they receive the same lunch, they'll jump off the school.
The next day, the girls meet up on the school's roof, and one by one open their lunchboxes to PB&J again. They jump off and all die from the fall.
Later at the f**... the brunette's and redhead's mothers are crying together; lamenting over their stubbornness and not giving their daughters different lunches. They notice that the blonde's mother is quiet and distant, so they ask how she's feeling and why she looks so confused. "I'm upset of course, but don't understand" she replied. "You see, she always makes her own lunch"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Still the best blonde joke to date..
A brunette, a redhead, and a blond escape a burning building by
climbing to the roof. The firemen are on the street below,
holding a blanket for them to jump into.
The firemen yell to the brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only
chance to survive!"
The brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen y**... the blanket
away. The brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the redhead.
"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the redhead.
"No! It's brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with redheads!"
"OK" says the redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen y**... the
blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.
Only the blonde remains on top of the building. Again, the
firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me
that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you
to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead...
...are trapped in a castle. In order to escape, they must look into a magic mirror and make a claim that they are the BEST of something in the entire world. If they are right, they escape the castle and are granted all the wishes they could ever want. But if they are wrong - p**...! They instantly disappear.
The brunette goes first.
"I think.... that I'm the most beautiful woman in all the world!"
p**...! She disappears.
The redhead goes second.
"I think.... that I'm the smartest woman in all the world!"
p**...! She disappears.
Then the blonde goes.
"I think...."
p**...! She disappears.
A doctor, a businessman, and a pre-school teacher...
A doctor, a businessman, and a pre-school teacher are invited to be part of a social experiment.
The doctor is brought into a room with a gorgeous blonde, brunette, and redhead, and asked which one he would most like to sleep with.
The Doctor replies, "I my professional experience, blondes tend to be more sensitive to stimulation, so I would do the blonde."
They repeat the experiment with the business man, and he replies, "In my professional experience, brunettes tend to be more assertive, and that's what I want in a lover, so I'd do the brunette."
Then the pre-school teacher came in. They showed him the blonde, the brunette, and the redhead, and asked him which woman he'd rather sleep with. He replies, "In my professional experience, If you're happy and you know it, do all three!"
A Blonde, Brunette, and a Redhead...
were driving down a desert road when the car runs out of gas. Realizing the gas station is still 10 miles ahead, they each decide to take one item with them.
The Blonde asks the Brunette, "What are you going to take?". The Brunette responds, "I am going to take these sodas with us just in case we get thirsty, we have something to drink."
The Blonde then asks the Redhead, "What are you going to take?". The Redhead responds , "Well I guess I'll take the rest of the McDonalds we bought. If we get hungry, we have something to eat."
The Blonde then says aloud, "Well then I will take the car door, we're in the desert afterall, so if we get hot we can roll down the window."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blond, a brunette and a redhead survive a plane c**... in the desert
they are sure to die, but suddenly the redhead stumbles on a piece of metal. it looked like a lamp, so she rub it and magically a genie appears.
'' I will give you each one wish", says the genie. The redhead wishes to return to her family, and her wish gets granted. the brunette wishes to to live in a big palace with her family, her wish gets granted.Then, the blonde says:" I will be so bored here by myself, I wish the two others come back"
3 women go to the desert a brunette, redhead, and a blonde and each only bring one thing...
The brunette was asked what she brought. She said she brought food in case they got hungry.
The redhead was asked what she brought. She said water in case they got thirsty.
The brunette was asked what she brought. She said a car door so if they got hot she could roll the window down.
A blond, a redhead and a brunette rob a bank...
The cops are close behind them when they run into a shed. Inside are some empty potato sacks.
"Quick," the brunette says, "hide in there." They all climb into the sacks just as the cops come in.
The cop walks up to the sack with the brunette and kicks it. "Meow!" she says. The cop figures it's a cat and walks on to the sack with the redhead and kicks that one. "Woof, woof!" she says. The cop walks on to the third sack with the blond and kicks it.
"Po-Tay-Toe!" she shouts.
I'm seeing a lot of blonde jokes, so here's mine.
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were talking about their boyfriends and decided they wanted to give them nicknames.
The brunette says, "I'll name mine 7-Up because he is 7 inches and always up for me."
The redhead says, "I'll name mine Mountain Dew because he always wants to mount and dew me."
The blonde thinks for a moment and says, "I'll name my boyfriend Jack Daniels. He's a hard liquor."
A blonde, brunette, and redhead escape from prison.
They made their way down the nearest road looking for somewhere to hide out for the night. After a couple of miles, they come upon a Barn on the side of the road. They thought "why not?" and slept in the barn for the night.
Unfortunately they overslept and awoke to find police investigating the grounds around the barn outside. "Better take a look inside" they heard a cop say. They decided to each hide in an empty burlap sack in an effort to evade the police.
As the cop searched the interior of the barn, he came upon 3 filled burlap sacks. Being lazy, he investigated the sack with the brunette with a kick from his boot. "Woof!" said the brunette. "Ah, just a dog in this one," said the cop. He then kicked the one with the redhead in it. "Meow!" she said. "Just a cat in that one," the cop said. He then kicked the one with the blonde in it. The blonde confidently exclaimed, "Potatoes!"
Hawaiian joke I love, closest thing i've heard on the mainland features "a brunette, a redhead, and a blond" instead
A Hawaiian, a Japanese, and a Portagee guy are taking a break from construction on the bridge they're building. They sit down to take out their lunches they brought from home.
Hawaiian: If it's tuna salad again, I'm jumping off this bridge!
Japanese: If *I* gotta eat tuna salad one more time, I'm jumping off too.
Portagee: If I have tuna salad again, I'm gonna jump off too. I've had it.
They open their lunches and discover they all have tuna salad. They jump off the bridge.
At their funerals, their wives are weeping to themselves.
Hawaiian man's wife: If only I had known he hated tuna salad! I never woulda made again!
Japanese man's wife: I wish he had told me he didn't like his lunch! I would have made something different!
Portagee man's wife shrugs and says, "Eh, he made his own lunch."
A brunette, a redhead head, and a blonde are running from the cops...
The girls quickly turn a corner and see three empty barrels, so they each jump into a different one.
Once the cops turn the corner, they see the barrels and they are suspicious about them so they kick the one with the brunette in it.
"Woof! Woof!" says the brunette.
"Just a dog in there" says one cop, so they move to the next one.
They approach the barrel with the brunette inside, and give it a jolt.
"Meow! Meow!" says the redhead
"Just a cat in there" says one cop, so they move on to the next one.
The approach the barrel with the blonde in there and shake it a bit.
"Corn! Corn!" says the blonde.
The brunette, the redhead, and the blonde.
One day a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were set to be executed. They lined the three woman up in front of a firing squad. First, they brought the brunette up. Ready, aim. But just before they shoot she shouts "Earthquake!" and in the commotion she escapes. Once the chaos dies down they bring up the redhead. Ready, aim."Tornado!" and she escapes. Then they bring the blonde up. By that time the blonde has caught on. Ready aim, and she shouts "Fire"!
a brunette, ad red head, and a blonde escape from prison
The three ladies hatch a plot to escape from prison by hiding in a laundry truck. As soon as the truck stops, they jump out and make a run for it.
Being in the middle of nowhere they head for a plume of smoke that seems to be coming from a chimney.
Upon arriving at a farm, they hear sirens and dogs barking not far behind them.
In a panic, the ladies run into a barn and close the door.
Looking for a place to hide, they find three burlap sacks on the ground, and each one climbs inside a sack.
Hiding quietly, they hear the barn door open and the prison warden followed by three guards walk in.
the warden walks up to a sack and kicks it. the brunette inside yelps, "ruff, ruff, ruff!"
"eh, just some puppies" says the warden.
the warden walks up to the sack where the redhead is hiding, kicks it, and hears "meow, meow", and says "eh, just some kittens".
So he walks up to the sack where the blond is hiding, kicks it and hears "potatoes, potatoes!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead c**... on a deserted island
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are shipwrecked on a deserted island. They find a small wooden sign on the beach that reads, "nearest island is 100 miles to the north". So the brunette decides to try and swim. She swims 25 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The redhead decides to give it a go. She swims 75 miles, gets tired, and also drowns. Figuring she has nothing to lose since her friends are dead, the blonde tries. She swims 50 miles, gets tired, and swims back.
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde rob a bank and lose the cops long enough to find a place to hide.
They drive until they find an empty barn, ditch their car, and duck inside just as they start to hear sirens. The brunette hides in a barrel, the redhead hides in a haystack, and the blonde hides in a burlap sack, and shortly thereafter, a police officer comes into the barn to search for them.
He comes to the barrel and kicks it hard, hoping to spook anyone hiding inside.
The brunette goes, "Meow! Meow!"
"Just a cat," says the cop, and continues on his way.
He comes to the haystack and rustles it, hoping to spook anyone hiding inside.
The redhead goes, "Squeak! Squeak!"
"Just a rat," says the cop, and continues on his way.
He comes to the burlap sack and tugs on it, hoping to spook anyone hiding inside it.
The blonde goes, "Potatoes! Potatoes!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island.
One day the blond comes running up to the others screaming that she found a magic lamp.
The others bored out of their minds decides to follow.
They finally show up to the spot and they see a really old lamp.
The brunette picks it up and wipes some dust off of it.
A genie pops out and says "You three who have disturbed my slumber, I will give you each one wish, so that I may sleep for a hundred more years."
The brunette, holding the lamp decides to go first. "I wish I were home with my family again." *p**...* and she vanishes.
The redhead goes next and says, "I wish I were back home with my boyfriend." *p**...* and she vanishes."
The blonde has no clue what to wish for, and the genie is getting impatient. She finally says "I don't know ask for... I wish my friends were here to help me decide."
Blonde, brunette, and a redhead. (I told this joke outloud to the whole class when I was in 2nd grade and got sent to the office)
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all running from the cops and end up getting cornered. The brunette points behind the cops and screams "tornado!" The cops all turn around and she runs away. The redhead points the same direction and screams "volcano eruption!" Once again, the cops turn around and the redhead runs away. Only the blonde is left and she screams "fire!" So the cops shoot her and she dies.
Three women walked into a bar.
Three women, a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walked into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, there is a magic mirror in the back the will grant wishes, but only if you tell the truth. If you lie, you will disappear forever."
"Let's go to the back then." says the brunette.
They arrive in the back and the brunette starts to say her wish. "I think I would like to have a loving husband." A loving husband appears and the two leave the bar.
The redhead says "I think I would like to have a sports car." A sports car appeared and the redhead went on out of the bar.
The blonde then went up to the magic mirror and said "I think," and she disappeared forever.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a Brunette , Redhead and a blonde getting ready for Execution.
The Brunette was marched to her final place, the firing squad's guns on her. The commander said
"Ready"
"Aim"
then the Brunette screamed "EARTHQUAKE", the firing squad looked around, and the brunette ran away and escaped.
The Redhead was marched to her final place, the firing squad's guns on her. The commander said
"Ready"
"Aim"
then the Readhead screamed "TORNADO!", the firing squad looked around, and the readhead ran away and escaped.
The Blonde was marched to her final place, the firing squad's guns on her. The commander said
"Ready"
"Aim"
then the Blonde then thought of her disaster, thought of one, then screamed "FIRE!!"
Comedy club challenge
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter a comedy club challenge where they have to not laugh at the comedians best jokes. With a prize of £10,000 they set off with their best poker faces.
The first comedian enters the stage and tries his joke with a funny accent and the brunette laughs and gets disqualified. Just the blonde and the redhead left now.
When the second comedian tells his joke and the redhead is trying her best to hold back a laugh and but ends up letting it out. There's only the blonde left now and as the final comedian walks up to the stage the blonde bursts out into laughter.
He says angrily "oh come on! I never even got to tell my joke.. Why did you laugh? "
"I just got the first one" she replied after calming down.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A brunette, A redhead, and A blonde....
Enter an elevator and spot something on the floor.
The brunette immediately says "Eww, that's s**...".
The redhead, touches it with her index finger and rubs it with her thumb together and says "Yup, definitely s**...".
The blonde, touches it, rubs it between her fingers and tastes it and says: "Yup, definitely s**..., and it's not from anyone in this building."
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the cops...
They run down an alley and find 3 boxes and decided to hide in each.
The cops arrive to the first box, they kick the first and the brunette shouts
'' Woof Woof!! '' The cops decided it must be dogs and move onto the next box.
'' Meow Meow! '' The redhead exclaims, the cops shrug thinking it is cats and move on to the next box.
'' POTATOES '' yells the blonde.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ski trip [n**...]
Three friends were on a skiing trip in Aspen. After a long day of snow and mountain activity, they returned to their cabin. In an attempt to stay warm, they decided to all three sleep on the same bed.
The next morning, the man on the right side woke up extremely happy, and woke his friends. "Guys! I had the most amazing dream! I dreamed that I got a h**... from a really cute redhead! It felt so real!"
Stunned, the man on the left side said "no way! I had the same dream! And it felt so real! Except I got a h**... from a hot brunette! Ned, let me guess. You had a similar dream about a blonde giving you a h**...?"
The man in the middle says "nah I just had a dream that I was skiing."
3 ladies at work (yes it's yet another Blonde joke)
Three ladies all work in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they'd all leave a few minutes after her. After all, she never called or came back, so how was she to know?
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting a dinner date.
The blonde was happy happy happy to be home, but when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!!! Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.
The next day, at coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was with them.
"NO WAY," she exclaimed, "I almost got caught yesterday!"
Three women break out of prison...
..a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They hear the marshal and his men coming so they duck into a near by potato barn. They find three potato sacks and jump in covering themselves from head to toe.
The marshal sends his deputy into the potato barn to check it out. The deputy see's the three sacks looking out of place, so he steps up to the sack with the redhead and kicks it.
"Woof." says the redhead.
"Just a dog in there." says the not to bright deputy. He kicks the sack with the brunette.
"Meow." purrs the brunette.
"Just a cat." says the deputy. He kicks the sack with the blonde in it.
Nothing happens. He gives it another kick.
"Potato" says the blonde.
Three blondes are stuck on a desert island...
Three blonde women are stuck on a desert island when they find a magical lamp with a genie inside.
I have three wishes to offer, says the genie, so that makes it one wish for each of you.
I want to be smart enough to get off this island, says the first blonde. She becomes a redhead, builds a small raft and sails off the island.
I want to be even smarter than her, says the second blonde. She becomes a brunette, builds a comfortable sailing boat, and sails off the island.
I want to be the smartest, says the third blonde. She becomes a man and crosses the bridge.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Magic Mirror
This is a rumour that a magic mirror resides in New York City. Anyone who can tell the truth in front of it is granted 3 wishes of their choosing. Anyone who tells a lie is exploded.
3 girls, a blonde, a redhead and a brunette find the mirror and try to claim their wishes.
"I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world!" says the brunette.
She explodes on the spot.
"I think I'm the smartest girl in the world!" says the redhead.
She explodes on the spot.
"I think-" says the blonde.
She explodes on the spot.
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police one day. When suddenly, they happened upon a barn. They ran inside to escape the boys in blue and barred the door on their way in. All that was in the barn was a few cows, a couple of pigs, and a pile of potatoes. They could hear the sirens approaching so they had to act fast. The brunette hid behind the cows, the redhead hid behind the pigs, and the blond behind the potatoes. The police broke in and surveyed the area. The brunette, trying to be inconspicuous, decided to imitate the cows. She let out a great big "Moooooo!" The redhead did the same, letting out a pig squeal. The blond, in the spur of the moment, let out the loudest noise of them all. "POOOOTTTAATTTOOOOOO!"
A blonde, brunette and a redhead...
...have a breaststroke race across the English Channel. The brunette comes in first, the redhead comes in second, and the blonde never finishes.
In the lifeboat, the blonde says, "I don't want to be a tattletale, but the other two used their arms."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she's the only one who's 18.
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were being chased by the police...
As they were running they saw some sacks, and so they hid in them. When the police got to the first sack, which the brunette was in. He kicked it and the brunette said "woof!" And the police thought it was a dog so he went to the second sack, which the redhead was in. He kicked that one and the redhead said "meow!" Thinking it was a cat, the police went to the third sack, which the blonde was in. He kicked it and the blonde said "potatoooo" the blonde was arrested, and the brunette and redhead got away.
3 blonde girls is at the side of a river
And they're trying to get to the village on the other side
1 blond girl ask god to make her smart,so god turn her into a brunette and she swims across the river
the other girl ask god to make her smarter than the girl that just swam,so god make her into a redhead and she built a raft and paddle across
The last girl ask god to make her smarter than the other two girls,so god make her a man and he uses the bridge
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead decided to take a vacation to Australia. None of them made it back alive.
The redhead hopped off the plane and headed straight for the beach. She was eaten by a shark shortly thereafter.
The brunette was tired after her long flight, so she headed straight for her hotel to take a nap. After her nap, she got up to head to the opera, but a spider had slipped into her shoes and when she tried to put them on she was bitten and died.
The blonde was found drowned in her car off the coast of Florida. She'd taken one look at flight tickets and figured it was cheaper to drive.
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were cruising around in a pickup truck
As they were crossing a bridge, they lost control of the truck and it plunged into the river below. The redhead quickly opened her door and swam to the surface. The brunette's door was stuck, but she was able to roll down the window and also swam to the surface. The blonde unfortunately drowned - she couldn't get the tailgate down.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are captured by a witch
The witch tells them, "If you say something about yourself that is true, I will let you go, if not, you will vanish into thin air"
The brunette says, "I think I'm the prettiest"
*p**...!* the brunette disappears.
The redhead says, "I think I'm the smartest"
*p**...!* the redhead disappears.
The blonde says, "I think..." *p**...!*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three pregnant women
a redhead, brunette, and blonde, are sitting in a Doctors office waiting to find out what s**... their babies will be. They start chatting while they wait and the brunette says "I've heard that if the man is on top during conception you will have a boy, so I'm definitely having a son." The redhead responds "Well if that's the case then I'm having a baby girl, because I was on top." The two women then notice that the blonde has started crying, and ask her what is wrong. Between sobs she looks up and says, "I think I'm having a puppy."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all on their way to heaven
One day, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were on their way to heaven.
God told them that there were 1,000 stairs to reach heaven, and on every stair he would tell them a joke. If they laughed, or even just smiled, they would not make it into heaven.
The redhead managed to make it to the 45th step before laughing.
The brunette reached 200 and cracked a smile.
The blonde made it all the way to the 999th step and burst out in laughter before God had even told his joke.
"Why are you laughing when I haven't even told my joke yet?" God asked the Blonde.
"I just got the first one!" she answered.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in a maternity ward, waiting to give birth.
The brunette says, "I think I'm having a boy because when we conceived, my husband was on top".
The redhead smiles and says, "in that case, I'm having a girl. I'm always on top!"
At this, the blonde starts crying hysterically. The other two calm her down and ask her what's wrong.
"I'm having puppies!" she sobs
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded in a desert...
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded in a desert, when they come across a magical lamp, which the blonde then rubs repeatedly.
A genie then comes out of the magic lamp, and promises to grant one wish for each of the girls.
The brunette says "I just want to go home!" she is then teleported back home, safe and sound.
The redhead says "I want to go back home!" she is also teleported back home.
The blonde then says "I just wish my friends were here!"
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are each pregnant and at the doctor's office...
While sitting in the waiting area, they begin chatting.
The brunette says "I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl!"
The redhead says "I was on top so I'm having a boy!"
The blonde starts crying hysterically.
The brunette and redhead ask her what's wrong.
The blonde says "I'm going to have a puppy!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate to be a bad loser
A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the Huron River Breast s**... Championships. The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing hope, the blonde finally arrived. The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her. They embraced the young girl as she came ashore. After all of the excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered, "I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls used their arms."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on an island
The redhead tries to swim back to land, gets a quarter of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.
The brunette decides to try, swims a third of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.
Finally the blonde tries, swims half of the way there, gets tired, swims back.
Three Pregnant Ladies
Three Pregnant Ladies are discussing their unborn babies.
The Brunette says "I am having a girl because I was on the bottom when my partner and I conceived"
The Redhead says "I am having a boy as I was on top with my partner"
The Blonde starts crying and the other two ask what is wrong "I am going to be having ten puppies!"
There was a race between a brunette, a redhead and a blond to swim
There was a race between a brunette, a redhead and a blond to swim from the mainland to Vancouver Island, doing only the breaststroke.
After about 14 hours the brunette staggered up on shore and was declared the winner.
About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up to the finish line in second.
Nearly four hours after that, the blond finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporter asked why it took her considerably longer to finish the race, she replies, I don't like to sound like a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde visit a magical bridge.
The sign reads "Magical bridge: Jump off the bridge and shout out what you want to land in and so it shall be."
The brunette goes first, she climbs on the rail, jumps off and yells "Pillows!" She lands safe and sound in a pile of pillows.
The redhead jumps next. " Hundred dollar bills!" She yells and lands in a huge pile of money.
The blonde goes last. She climbs up, jumps off and gets scared. She yells "Oh shiiiiiiiit!"
