Blonde Jokes
193 blonde jokes and hilarious blonde puns to laugh out loud. Read blonde jokes about blonde that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A collection of hilarious blonde jokes that will have you laughing out loud. From blonde and brunette jokes, to haircuts and money, you won't be able to contain your laughter at these classic jokes. Blondie might want to save these jokes for a rainy day!
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Funniest Blonde Short Jokes
Short blonde jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blonde humour may include short brunette jokes also.
- Two blondes are walking and one asks, which is closer, the moon or Florida? And the other responds, duh... ... can you see Florida?
- A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police: - Hello, is this 911?
- Yes, what is your emergency?
- I called to inform you that you're 910 now. - Two blondes meet at a busy chicken market A: If I can guess how many chickens you have in that bag, can I have one?
B: You can have both
A: Three - Why can't a blonde dial 911? Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven. - Doctor: "I'm just waiting for your X-Ray." Blonde: "I've never dated anyone by that name."
- Why did the Blonde feel so proud of herself for finishing a jigsaw puzzle in only six months? It said 2-4 years on the box.
- Joke of the day about blondes. Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." :-D - What happens if a Danish blonde moves to Sweden? The average intelligence of both countries goes up.
- Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours? A: Because it said 'concentrate'
- A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator.. Blonde starts shouting: "HELP! HELP!"
Brunette turns to her and says: "We should shout together."
Blonde: "TOGETHER! TOGETHER!"
Share These Blonde Jokes With Friends
Blonde One Liners
Which blonde one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blonde? I can suggest the ones about brunette hair and haircut.
- Why was the blonde snorting Sweet and Low? She thought it was diet coke.
- What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence
* - Two blondes walk into a bar You'd think the second one would have ducked
- How do you make a blonde laugh on a Friday night? Tell them a joke on Monday.
- Why can't blondes work at the M&M Company? Because they throw away all the ones with w's
- How did the blonde break her legs raking leaves? She fell out of a tree.
- What do you call a smart blonde? A Golden Retriever.
- Why did 18 blondes goto the movies. Because it said under 17 not admitted
- Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Someone told her drinks were on the house.
- How do you keep a blonde busy for years? Tell her to count the stairs on an escalator.
- Why do blondes prefer to buy cars with sun roof? Because there's more leg room.
- What did the blonde say when her doctor told her that she was pregnant? "Is it mine"?
- Two blondes walk into a bar The first one says "Don't worry, I didn't see it either".
- 2 blondes are checking a car "Does the turn signal work?"
"Yes! No. Yes! No. Yes!" - How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she's pregnant
Blonde Brunette Jokes
Here is a list of funny blonde brunette jokes and even better blonde brunette puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A blonde and a brunette are discussing the previous night out... The brunette says, "Last night I slept with a Brazilian."
"Oh my god!" the blonde replies. "How many is THAT?" - 2 blondes, 2 brunettes, and 2 redheads walk into a bar. The 2 blondes say "hello" to the bartender... The 4 Non Blondes say "WHAT'S GOING ON!"
- A blonde and a brunette are in a car. Brunette: Christmas is on a Friday this year.
Blonde: I hope it's not the 13th. - A blonde and a brunette is sitting on a bench. Out of nowhere, the brunette says: Look! A dead bird!
The blonde gazes up into the air says where? - If a woman likes you, you can tell her real hair colour from how it feels. Blondes touch you hard, brunettes touch you fast, redheads touch you... Gingerly
- There's a brunette, red-head, and a blonde in the same Kindergarten class. Who has the biggest rack? The blonde. She's 19.
- A Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar . . . The Blonde, ironically, ducked.
- Did you hear about the war between the blondes and the brunettes? The blondes were throwing hand grenades, and the brunettes were pulling the pins and throwing them back.
- Brunette: "Where were you born?" Blonde: "The United States." Brunette: "Which part?" Blonde: "My whole body."
- What do you call a brunette standing behind two blondes? The translator.
Blonde And Brunette Jokes
Here is a list of funny blonde and brunette jokes and even better blonde and brunette puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A blonde, a brunette and a red head are standing at the pearly gates. I don't believe this to be possible. I'm an atheist.
- in a kindergarten class, there is a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. which one do you date? the blonde. she's 18.
- What do you get when you turn 4 blondes upside down? 4 brunettes
- A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are each in their own rooms, who is the hottest? Whoever forgot to turn on the air conditioner.
- A blonde, brunette, and a red head walk into a bar Wow, these are great binoculars!
- How do you tell a blonde from a brunette in the dark? Just call out "can you hear me?" and listen for the reply "no, its too dark in here!"
- A blond and a brunette jumped off the roof of a 10-story building at the exact same time. Who hit the ground first? The brunette.
The blonde had to stop and ask for directions. - Why is there a brunette walking between two blondes? To translate!
- What's brown, black and blue and lays at the bottom of a ditch? A brunette that's told one too many blonde jokes.
- What's the mating call of a blond? "Oh, I'm *so* drunk!"
What's the mating call of a brunette?
"Are all of the blonds gone?"
What's the mating call of a ginger?
"Next!"
You Know You Are A Blonde If Jokes
Here is a list of funny you know you are a blonde if jokes and even better you know you are a blonde if puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two blondes fall down a well One says to the other ones, "isn't it dark down here" she replies, I don't know I can't see
- A blonde is taking money out of an ATM, when the blonde behind her in line says, "Ha! Ha! I know your password. It's four asterisks."
The first blonde replies, "Ha! Ha! No it's not. It's 3862."
- What did the blonde do with the boiling water? Froze it - you never know when you're going to need boiling water.
- "Did you know that Christmas day falls on a Friday this year?" said one blonde to another. "Oh dear!!" her friend replied, "I hope it's not the 13th?"
- How do you know when a blonde's been at your computer? There's white out on the screen.
Why white out?
'Cause the eraser didn't work. - How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock? She waits until midnight and plugs it back in.
Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it. - What would albert einstein's name be if he was blonde? Nobody would know
- Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought. - What is positive about beeing blonde? You are allowed to park your car in the disabled spot
(Dont know if it have been done before, no energy to scroll through the endless thread) - How do you know a blonde has been on your PC There is typex all over the screen
Blonde Woman Jokes
Here is a list of funny blonde woman jokes and even better blonde woman puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror? To see how she looks like when sleeping.
- Ad in the local paper: 25 year old woman, very attractive, beautiful blonde hair, perfect measurements, intelligent, with good sense of humor and stable income - Selling dump truck.
- I was worried that the mechanic would rip me off because I was a blonde woman. Imagine my relief when I found out that I only needed indicator fluid.
- I was at the Post Office.... When I saw a blonde woman shouting into an envelope.
I asked, "what are you doing ??"
The blonde replied, "Sending a voice mail".... - Did you hear about the blonde woman who has three hours of footage of raw chicken on her iPhone? The cooking instructions said remove sleeve and film.
- A blonde woman calls the airport - Good morning! How much time will it take for me to get from Los Angeles to New York?
- Just a moment.
- And back? - A blonde woman files for devorce Against her cheating husband affiliated with the mob. She found out he was sleeping with the fishes.
- Why a blonde woman can't call the 911? Because she dont find the 11
- A Blonde Woman Asks For A $6000 Loan And the bartender says, "Look, lady. Do you want something to drink or not?"
- What does a blonde woman is doing with her ear bonded to the wall ? Listening *house*.
Blonde Girl Jokes
Here is a list of funny blonde girl jokes and even better blonde girl puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two blonde girls are celebrating at a table... The waiter comes by and asks "What are you celebrating?"
They say "We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!" - A blond girl turns on the radio and hears that 2 Brazilian men were killed As she starts to cry she asks "How many is a Brazilian?"
- A man sees a blonde girl staring intently at a ice cube in her hand The man asks the girl why she's staring at the ice cube and she responds, "I'm trying to figure out where it's leaking from."
- What sound does a blonde white girl make while meditating? "Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?"
- Whats the difference between a blond girl and an elevator? An elevator only fits 5 people in it.
- Two blonde girl goes to a bar. The bartender asks: 'Are you sisters?'
The two blonde says: 'No, we aren't even catholics.' - Why did the blonde girl remove the bathroom door? So that she can't be spied on through a keyhole.
- "I'll have a cheeseburger with a large coke," The blonde girl requested. "Excuse me miss, this is a library."
^^"I'll ^^have ^^a ^^cheeseburger ^^with ^^a ^^large ^^coke," she whispered. - Where's the only place that blonde girls can have dark hair? Between their teeth.
- Hey, did you hear about the blonde girl who choked on a piece of plastic? She said that mannequin was one smooth talker.
Fun-Filled Blonde Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about blonde you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blonde pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**...
A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu:
"Cheeseburgers: $5
Fries: $3
h**...: $10."
He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the h**...?"
"Yes, I am," she replies seductively.
"Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde mom is cooking dinner when her blonde daughter walks in
The daughter asks, "Mom, why do people think we blondes are s**...?"
Her mother replies, "I'll show you", and taps hard on the kitchen counter.
Somewhat confused, the blonde daughter says, "Someone's at the door!".
The blonde mother laughs. "This is why people think we're s**.... Now watch over the stove for me while I answer the door."
So..the wife and I were in town shopping....
..and as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. One of them, a tall blonde, had really fantastic, long, toned and tanned legs.
I gently nudged my wife and said "I bet you wish you still had legs like that!".
She got really upset with me..in fact I could still hear her sobbing as I wheeled her up the ramp into the next store.
A husband comes home to find his beautiful blonde wife sitting at the kitchen table in tears.
"What's wrong, dear?" He asks
Through her tears she says, "well, I've been trying to put this puzzle together all day and I just can't seem to figure it out! It's supposed to be a tiger."
He looks at her and in his most sympathetic voice says, "sweetheart, put the frosted flakes back in the box."
Ba dum-tiss
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?
When she can't find her pencil and there is a t**... behind her ear.
Blondes At The Bus Stop.
Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.
A bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside, asking the driver - "will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"
The bus driver shakes his head, "no, I'm sorry, it won't" he says.
The other blonde leans inside and asks, "how about me?"
A blonde walks into a drycleaners
and says 'good morning' to the elderly attendant and hands him a blouse. The man didn't hear too well and asked, "Come again"?
The blonde turned red and giggled. "No, just mayonnaise this time."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was the blonde nymphomaniac sad after she got her driver's license?
She got an F in s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Irishman, Russian and the Blonde...
An Irishman, Russian and a Blonde come across a magical slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Russian amazed slides down screaming "v**...!", and lands into bottles of v**... at the bottom. The Blonde takes her turn, and without hesitation shouts "WEEEE!" as she slides down.
A Blonde and Condoms
The most beautiful blonde woman you've ever seen walks into the drugstore. She walks to the pharmacy and asks if they sell Extra-Large condoms, the cashier says yes and points her down aisle 11. About 30 minutes go by and the pharmacist notices that the blonde is still looking at the condoms. He decides to see if she needs any help. He says, "Did you find the extra large condoms?" She responds, "Yes, now I'm just waiting for someone to buy some."
There were 2 blondes...
So I was sat on my porch one day and I saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One was digging a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after the first was done. This went on for about 2 hours until I walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?"
To which one of the blondes replied "Well there's usually 3 of us, but the one who plants the trees is off sick today".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My blonde girlfriend froze
In the middle of love making so I gave her an interrogative f**... expression. " oh..I saw this on youporn" she said," they call it bufferring".
A blonde is pulled over by a police officer...
"May I see your License Ma'am?"
"You know you cops really need to get your act together... One day your buddy takes my license away, and the next you ask for it"
A Blonde Takes a Test
The professor notices a blonde student flipping a coin as she answers the True/False questions. She finishes long before everyone else, and starts flipping the coin again, sometimes changing her answers.
When she brings her test to the front, the professor asks, "Why were you flipping that coin?"
She responds, "I was checking my answers."
2 blondes were walking along a beach when one said, "Look! A dead bird!"
The other looked up.
Canine Names
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
From my dad: What do you get when a t**... blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a t**... brunette?
Your camera.
Peter is different
A couple have 13 children, 12 of them are blonde and have blue eyes, 1 has black hair and brown eyes, his name is Peter. One day the wife of the couple is dying of illness, her husband is sitting on her bed. The husband says "Our Peter is different from the other kids, does he have a different father?" His wife says yes. And, the man says, "Then, who is his dad?" Upon which his wife says, "You".
A blonde is walking along the shoreline of a lake in Minnesota looking for seashells when she spots another blonde across the lake from her. Eager for company she shouts loudly "How do I get to the other side?"
The other blonde shouts back "You're on the other side!"
A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator...
And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.
The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."
The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"
No offense anyone...hehe
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
BLONDE LUCK
A blonde was at a gumball machine. She kept putting quarters in and getting gumballs out. The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball. She said, "Shut up! I'm winning."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Blondes meet up for coffee...
Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been up to.
"I had s**... with two Brazilian guys last night", she said.
"Wow - I've never even met that many guys" replied the other.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she's the only one who's 18.
A blonde and a brunette are on opposite sides of a river...
The brunette yells across, "Help me get to the other side of the river!"
The blonde yells back, "You *are* on the other side of the river!"
A blonde was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriends dandruff problem...
The redhead says "why don't you give him head and shoulders."
The blonde replies "how do you give shoulders?"
A Blond goes to work in tears.
A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "My mom died."
He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine."
Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"
She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"
A Blonde Walks into a Library
A blonde walks into a library and slams a book on the desk.
She says, "This is the worst book I've ever read!! There's no plot and it has way too many characters!!"
The librarian says, "So that's what happened to our phonebook."
A woman heard that her blonde friend was in the hospital
She went to visit her, and found her propped up in bed with bandages over both her ears.
"What in the world happened to you?" she asked.
"It was the craziest thing," said the blonde. "I was ironing clothes when the phone rang. Without thinking I held the iron up to my ear and said 'hello?'"
"But what happened to your other ear?"
"I had to call the ambulance, didn't I?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mate told me yesterday that he's started dating twins!
I asked how he could tell which one is which.
He said, 'Well, Andrea is really, really attractive - she has long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and plump red lips. Plus she's got a really nice body. Pretty much a perfect ten.
And Brian has a c**....'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A beautiful blonde walks up to a craps table...
She bets ten thousand on one roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel luckier when I'm n**...."
She strips down and rolls the dice. When she sees the dice she jumps for joy screaming "I won! I won!" She hugs the dealers, takes her winnings and leaves.
Finally, one of the dealers asks, "What did she roll?" The other says, "I thought you were watching!"
It goes to show: Not all blondes are dumb, but men will always be men.
Another blonde joke
A professor told his class:
"Fame will come to you only after you succeed!"
A blonde asked, "Who is 'Seed'?"
11 Blondes and a brunette
There are 12 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 11 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on an island
The redhead tries to swim back to land, gets a quarter of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.
The brunette decides to try, swims a third of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.
Finally the blonde tries, swims half of the way there, gets tired, swims back.
Some blondes are in a car on their way to Disneyland.
When they see a sign at an intersection.
"Disneyland left" ←
so they went back home.
Two blondes are locked out of their car...
The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"
Blonde gets caught speeding.
The cop is also a blonde.
Cop: Let me see your driver's license.
Driver: What's that?
Cop: A square thing with your picture on it.
Blonde fumbles through her purse, finds a mirror, sees herself in it, and hands it to the cop.
Cop looks at it, hands it back and says,
I'm gonna let you go without a ticket. I didn't know you were a cop.
(
Body Pain
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, Doctor I'm hurting all over my body.
That's odd , replied the doctor, Show me what you mean
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, You're not a natural brunette are you?
No I'm a blonde , she replies.
I thought so…. your finger is broken. , replies the doctor.
Three blondes are walking through the forest when they come across a set of tracks.
The first blonde says, "Hey, look at that, deer tracks!"
The second blonde chimes in and responds, "No, Becky, those are moose tracks!"
The third blonde steps in and says, "You two are both wrong, those are obviously elk tracks!"
The three blondes kept arguing about what animal left the tracks until they were eventually hit by a train.
Two blondes are going to Disney Land
At the turn off, they see a sign saying "Disneyland left"
They went home crying.
A Blonde Crashes a helicopter
A passerby jumps out and rushes up to her and exclaims,"What happened!?". She explains,"It got cold so I turned off the fan".
Two blondes were walking through the park digging holes and filling them up again.
One of them would dig the holes, and the other would fill them up. One man couldn't control his curiosity and asked the blondes why they were digging and filling holes pointlessly, to which one replied:
"Well, there was supposed to be another one of us planting saplings before we fill the holes, but she couldn't come so we'll have to make do without her."
A blonde and her husband are watching the news...
News: A Brazilian man died while skydiving when his parachute didn't open.
The blonde bursts into tears
Husband (comforting her): I know it's sad, but people need to know that there's a risk while skydiving.
Blonde: But that's a lot of people. How many is a Brazilian?
A blonde...
...works in a petrol station filling up cars. One day, a spaceship with 'UFO' written on the side lands next to the blonde. The blonde cheerfully fills it with fuel and the spaceship flied off.
The blonde's boss, shocked, comes out to ask why she filled it up.
"Do you know what 'UFO' stands for?" He asks.
"Of course." She replies, "Unleaded Fuel Only".
credits to u/Mr-Everest
Another blonde joke
Boyfriend is driving down the street with his (blonde) girlfriend in the passenger seat. The boyfriend becomes concerned the turn signals are not working, so he asks his girlfriend to poke her head out the passenger side window to see if the right turn signal is functioning. She replies, "it's working, it's not working, it's working.."
Did you hear about the new paint called "blonde" paint?
It's not very bright but it spreads easily.
A blonde walks into a library (*not the whole joke)
She says to the librarian "Hiiii, I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."
The librarian says, "Lady, this is a library!"
Embarrassed, the blonde apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde is walking by a river
She sees an another blonde on the other side of the river.
-Hey! - she yells.
-Yes? - the other one responds.
-How can I get to the other side? - she asks.
-Fool! You are already on the other side!
Two blondes in a helicopter
Two blondes won a joy ride in a helicopter. As they reached maximum altitude one turned to the other and said "I hope nothing goes wrong, have they got enough fuel?" The other responded "I hope so too, imagine if they ran out, we'd be stuck up here forever!"
A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.
Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a similar strategy and, on her turn, yells "FIRE!"
A blonde walked into a gas station...
A blonde walked into a gas station and told the manager, "I locked my keys in my car and I was wondering if you had a coat hanger I could stick through the window and unlock the door."
"Why, sure," said the manager, "We have something that works especially for that."
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing. He heard another voice. "No, no, a little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you know a blonde has been trying to commit s**...?
There are bullet holes in the mirror.
Why does the blonde have smudges on the inside of her windshield?
She needs to drag her finger across the words as she's reading street signs.
Note: I just made this up. However, please tell me if someone else has a similar one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next."
A blonde and a brunette are talking about their boyfriends' dandruff problems
The brunette says, my boyfriend used to have dandruff, but I gave him Head and Shoulders and it went away in a few days
The blonde thinks for a minute and then replies, how do you give shoulders?
A blonde and her boyfriend were going somewhere in a car.
While taking a left turn the boyfriend asks " Babe , can you check if the indicator is working. "
The blonde look around and says
" Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes..."
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.
She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.
At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."
He ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."
The blonde's password
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
A blonde rings up an airline and asks: "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone replies: "Just a minute". The blonde thanks her and hangs up the phone.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde joke
A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the c**...-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."
Joke translated to English from German
A blonde is driving home when she gets pulled over by a police officer.
"Mam, may i see you driving license?!"
"What's a driving license? "
"You know this thing in your purse with your face on..."
She starts digging through her purse, finds her cosmetic mirror, and hands it over to the policeman.
The policeman takes a look at the mirror and responds-
"Should have told me right away your a police officer too "
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
Where are we?
Not mine:
Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly? The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."
A Blonde woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.
The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop…
