The Best 35 Blonde And Redhead Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Blonde And Redhead jokes. There are some blonde and redhead dyed hair jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these blonde and redhead naturally blonde puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Blonde And Redhead Jokes and Puns

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a similar strategy and, on her turn, yells "FIRE!"

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest?

The blonde, because she's the only one who's 18.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on an island

The redhead tries to swim back to land, gets a quarter of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.

The brunette decides to try, swims a third of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.

Finally the blonde tries, swims half of the way there, gets tired, swims back.

A blonde buys a gun.

A young blonde is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home early to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She pulls the gun from her purse and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''

jokes about blonde and redhead

A blonde was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriends dandruff problem...

The redhead says "why don't you give him head and shoulders."

The blonde replies "how do you give shoulders?"

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead lost in the desert...

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

A blond and a redhead are talking one afternoon.

Redhead - "So how was your weekend?"

Blond - "Not to good my cat got it's tail cut off by the lawn mower."

Redhead - "That's terrible! What did you do about it?"

Blond - "Well I got the cat and it's tail and took it to Walmart."

Redhead - "Why wouldnt you take the cat to the vet?"

Blond - "Well I heard that Walmart was the larger retailer in the country."

Credit goes to my mother for this one.

Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.

She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it."
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next."

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in a maternity ward, waiting to give birth.

The brunette says, "I think I'm having a boy because when we conceived, my husband was on top".
The redhead smiles and says, "in that case, I'm having a girl. I'm always on top!"
At this, the blonde starts crying hysterically. The other two calm her down and ask her what's wrong.
"I'm having puppies!" she sobs

A brunette and redhead and a blonde are at the OBGYN

The brunette says she knows she is going to have a boy because her husband was on top. The redhead says she is is going to have a girl, because she was on top. The blonde says: "Oh my God. I'm going to have puppies!"

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are driving through the desert.

The car breaks down, and they've got no cell reception, so they have to walk to get help. The brunette says "I'll grab the bottled water in case we get thirsty." The redhead says, "I'll grab the snacks in case we get hungry."

The blonde rips the drivers side door off its hinges. "I'll take this door, so if we get hot, I can roll the window down."

You can explore blonde and redhead blonde hair reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean blonde and redhead dumb blonde dad jokes. There are also blonde and redhead puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead spy get caught behind enemy lines...

The enemy puts each of them against a fence to be shot.

The general orders his squad, "Ready. Aim."

The brunette spy is quick on her feet and yells, "TORNADO! TORNADO! TORNADO!"

The entire firing squad goes to the bunker to hide and waits for the tornado to pass. The brunette then unties her bondage and escapes. The redhead spy sees this and comes up with her own plan. The firing squad returns to kill the remaining two spies.

The general orders again, "Ready. Aim."

The redhead spy then shouts, "EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE!"

The enemy takes cover from the earthquake. The redhead spy then unties her bondage and escapes. The blonde spy is no dumby she gets an idea of her own. The firing squad returns to kill the last remaining spy.

The general orders once more, "Ready. Aim."

The blonde spy ready to run yells, "FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!"

2 blondes, 2 brunettes, and 2 redheads walk into a bar. The 2 blondes say "hello" to the bartender...

The 4 Non Blondes say "WHAT'S GOING ON!"

Three ladies.

Three ladies went out to the flee market. A blonde, a redhead and a brunette. They found a magic mirror that told them this "each of you has to say something about herself, if it's true I'll grant you a wish but if it's false I'll kill you ". The ladies agreed, and the redhead said "i have the cutest boyfriend" and the mirror killed her. The brunette said "i have the prettiest car " and the mirror killed her. And the blonde said "wait I'm thinking " and the mirror killed her.

Fin.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead

...a doctor, a lawyer and an accountant, a Brit, a German and an American, a priest, a rabbi, two camels and a duck walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them all and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were in their obstetrician's waiting room discussing their pregnancies.

The brunette said she was certain she was going to have a boy, because she was on top when she got pregnant!

The red head said she was certain she was going to have a girl because she was in the missionary position when she got pregnant!

All of a sudden the blonde burst into tears. Between sobs the brunette & red head finally got her to tell them why she became so upset. She told them she believes she's going to have puppies!!!!!

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island

they can see land in the distance, and decide to swim for it.

The redhead goes first, gets 1/4 of the way there, gets tired and swims back.

The brunette manages to swim 1/3 of the way there, but gets tired and swims back.

The blonde is able to swim halfway, but gets tired and returns to the island.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops...

They duck into an abandoned warehouse, each find a an empty sack, and climb into it.

Cops follow and poke the bag with the brunette. The brunette goes woof! The policeman says, Oh, it's just a bag of dogs, and walks on.

They poke the bag with the redhead. The redhead goes meow! The policeman says, Oh, it's just a bag of cats, and walks on.

They poke the bag with the blonde and the blonde goes Potato. Potato.

Still the best blonde joke to date..

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond escape a burning building by
climbing to the roof. The firemen are on the street below,
holding a blanket for them to jump into.

The firemen yell to the brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only
chance to survive!"

The brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket
away. The brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the redhead.

"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the redhead.

"No! It's brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with redheads!"

"OK" says the redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the
blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Only the blonde remains on top of the building. Again, the
firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!"

"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the blonde.

"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"

"Look," the blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me
that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you
to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."

A redhead, an brunette, and a blonde are about to be executed by a firing squad.

The redhead is first, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the redhead screams "tornado!" so everyone runs away and she escapes.

The brunette is next, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the brunette screams "earthquake!" so everyone runs away and she escapes.

The blonde is last, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the blonde screams "fire!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all on their way to heaven

One day, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were on their way to heaven.

God told them that there were 1,000 stairs to reach heaven, and on every stair he would tell them a joke. If they laughed, or even just smiled, they would not make it into heaven.

The redhead managed to make it to the 45th step before laughing.

The brunette reached 200 and cracked a smile.

The blonde made it all the way to the 999th step and burst out in laughter before God had even told his joke.

"Why are you laughing when I haven't even told my joke yet?" God asked the Blonde.

"I just got the first one!" she answered.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island

The brunette decides to try to swim to another island with more people on it. She can only swim 1/8 of the way, so she swims back. The redhead tries the same, but only makes it 1/4 of the way. The blonde makes it halfway, gets tired and swims back.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are lost in the wilderness...

...and they become very excited when they come across tracks. As they are following the tracks, the three of them take a guess on what animal could have possibly left them.

"Obviously, it must have been a horse," said the Blonde.

"No no no, we're in the forest, it must have been a deer," said the Brunette.

"You're both idiots. Obviously it's a dog!" said the Redhead.

They debated until the train came and hit them.

3 blonde girls is at the side of a river

And they're trying to get to the village on the other side

1 blond girl ask god to make her smart,so god turn her into a brunette and she swims across the river

the other girl ask god to make her smarter than the girl that just swam,so god make her into a redhead and she built a raft and paddle across

The last girl ask god to make her smarter than the other two girls,so god make her a man and he uses the bridge

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were all sitting in the waiting room waiting to see their OB/GYN.

The brunette turns to the group and says, I'm pregnant and I'm having a boy . The redhead asked her how she knows and the brunette tells her, I was on top when we conceived .

The redhead then says, well in that case I'm going to have a girl because I was on the bottom .

The blonde jumps up and starts screaming, Oh God, I'm going to have puppies!

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all pregnant, are in the waiting room for the OB/GYN....

The brunette says "I was on top, so I'm gonna have a boy."

The redhead says "I was on the bottom, so I'm gonna have a girl."

The blonde bursts into tears and says, "I'm gonna have puppies!"

Three girls are stuck on an island

They find a lamp and a genie comes out of it. He grants them each one wish. The brunette girl wishes to go home and see her family. *poof* shes gone. The redhead wishes also go go home to see her family. *poof* shes gone. The genie comes to the blonde girl and sees that shes crying. He asks "why are you crying?". She responds "I wish my friends were back".

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are captured by a witch

The witch tells them, "If you say something about yourself that is true, I will let you go, if not, you will vanish into thin air"

The brunette says, "I think I'm the prettiest"
*Poof!* the brunette disappears.

The redhead says, "I think I'm the smartest"
*Poof!* the redhead disappears.

The blonde says, "I think..." *Poof!*

A blonde, brunette, and redhead go to the doctor...

A blonde, brunette, and redhead go to the doctor and find out that they are pregnant so they want to find out the sex of the baby. The brunette says, well I was on the bottom so I'm having a boy. The redhead says I was on top so I'm having a girl.

The Blonde starts crying and says, well I guess I'm having puppies?!

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are running from the police....

.... they run into a barn to hide. The brunette hides behind a stall of cows, the redhead hides in the goat pen, and the blonde hides behind bags full of potatoes. The police come in and shine their flashlights on the cows. The brunette says "MOO!" and the police shine their lights on the goats. The redhead says "BAHH!", so the police move on to the potatoes. They shine their lights on them and the blonde says "POTATOES!!!"

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde visit a magical bridge.

The sign reads "Magical bridge: Jump off the bridge and shout out what you want to land in and so it shall be."

The brunette goes first, she climbs on the rail, jumps off and yells "Pillows!" She lands safe and sound in a pile of pillows.

The redhead jumps next. " Hundred dollar bills!" She yells and lands in a huge pile of money.

The blonde goes last. She climbs up, jumps off and gets scared. She yells "Oh shiiiiiiiit!"

Blonde vs. Space

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were taking a tour inside of NASA space center. The tour-guide asked them "What planet or other object in our universe would you go to?"

The red head said. "I'd go to Saturn!"

The brunette said, "I'd go to the Moon!"

The blonde said "I'd go to the Sun!"

The tour-guide looked at the blonde. "But if you go the Sun, you'll burn up and die."

The blonde rolled her eyes and replied calmly. "What, do you think I'm stupid? I'd go at night!"

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:

Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"

3 women are sitting at a bar..

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde.

The brunette says, "I'm so tight, my husband can only fit 3 fingers in me."

The redhead says, "I'm so tight, *my* husband can only fit 1 finger in me!"

The blonde, meanwhile, slides down her stool.

If a woman likes you, you can tell her real hair colour from how it feels. Blondes touch you hard, brunettes touch you fast, redheads touch you...

Gingerly

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the blonde and redhead hair puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working blonde and redhead brunette piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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