Block Jokes
129 block jokes and hilarious block puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about block that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
If you are looking for a laugh, look no further than this article featuring some of the best block jokes around! From building blocks to number blocks to road blocks to Minecraft blocks and more, we have the perfect block puns for everyone. Get ready to bust out your best belle, bloc and blockage jokes to a cheering crowd!
Quick Jump To
- Short Block Jokes
- Block One Liners
- Road Block Jokes
- Building Block Jokes
- Number Block Jokes
- Minecraft Block Jokes
- More Block Jokes
Funniest Block Short Jokes
Short block jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The block humour may include short boxes jokes also.
- My fencing opponent laughed at me for bringing a block of cheddar to a sword fight. Until he discovered it was extra sharp.
- Someone keeps dropping off random lego blocks in front of my door every morning. I …don't know what to make of it.
- A man holding a large block of asphalt walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "A beer for me, and one for the road."
- A Store Manager asked me to move a Kia that was blocking an exit... I told him, "I would, but that's not my Forte."
- 6 years ago i DMed my facebook crush telling her that I am going to take her out on a date. Today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times and blocked me
- Went to see my doctor about a blocked ear He asked me to describe the symptoms.
I said homer is a fat bloke and marge has blue hair - The Lego store near my house just reopened after lockdown... People were lining up for blocks.
- What do Joe Biden and trans people have in common? Republicans want to block their transition
- There I was at the supermarket, minding my own business, when a man out of nowhere came up and threw a whole block of cheese at me! Real mature.
- My son cries when I slap his hand. If he doesn't like it he should stop blocking his face.
Share These Block Jokes With Friends
Block One Liners
Which block one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with block? I can suggest the ones about locking and brick.
- If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd move U Cause you're blocking the TV
- A new Lego store opened up in my town... People were lined up for blocks.
- What do you call a guy who gets banned from roblox? blocked
- I made fun of the official Minecraft Twitter account So they blocked me
- I heard Steve Irwin has his own line of sunscreen... It's supposed to block the rays
- I just tried to follow Tim Howard on twitter... I got blocked.
- I read about a guy that blocked an entire river with nothing but legumes Dam thats nuts
- I got kicked out of our Writers Block support group today It made me really
- Did you hear about the guy who had writers block? He stopped writing and it was
- The reopening of Lego World in 2021 was a big deal. People were lined up for blocks.
- What do you call a dollar frozen in a block of ice? Cold hard cash.
- I just blocked someone for correcting my grammar and it feelded good.
- "Hey teacher, have you seen that block of Sodium?" Na.
- A block of cheese... is just a loaf of milk.
- I paid $3 for a block of metal yesterday It was really quite the steel
Road Block Jokes
Here is a list of funny road block jokes and even better road block puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do Canadian geese, and Canadian truckers have in common? They block the roads and honk
- I was walking down the road the other day and this guy threw a block of cheese at my head I looked at him and said, that's mature.
- People told me I was blocking the road... I replied: "No Way!!!"
- Why couldn't a block of cheese cross the road? Because he was not allowed to leave his *grated* community.
- I lost my bicycle license. I didn't block the road for an entire day.
- What did the car say to the cow blocking the road? Beef! Beef!
- What do you tell a cow blocking a road? Mooove
- What do you call a group of chickens walking down the road? A rolling c**...-block
Building Block Jokes
Here is a list of funny building block jokes and even better building block puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you drop a small plastic building block? Lego
- What's a fundamental building block of life, but also the bread of a car? Car-buns
- I work on a construction site, and we're building a new apartment block. The ground floor has turned out pretty good. But the first floor? That's a whole other storey.
Number Block Jokes
Here is a list of funny number block jokes and even better number block puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Jane Goodall has blocked my number! Didn't appreciate me sending her photos of macaque.
- I have always managed to be the tallest person on my block. But it has meant moving to smaller and smaller blocks a number of times.
- Have you ever liked a picture posted 5 years ago on somebody's Facebook? It is definitely easier than ring them with your number blocked while breathing heavily without saying a word
Minecraft Block Jokes
Here is a list of funny minecraft block jokes and even better minecraft block puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Most blocks in Minecraft are one square meter. Where in Minecraft can you find a block that has only two square feet? Whichever one the player's standing on.
- If someone made a sculpture in Minecraft of J-Lo. Would you name it Jenny from the Block?
- Minecraft releases a new movie Critics say its a block buster!
- The water problem in Africa is like someone put a sponge block from Minecraft in the stream.
- What is Minecraft stalker's biggest fear? Getting blocked.
Hilarious Block Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about block you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean walls jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make block pranks.
Two knights stood to face each other
They both unsheathed their weapons, ready to duel
The first knight drew his longsword, confident he would defeat his opponent with wit and skill
The second knight drew a large block of cheddar cheese
The first knight scoffed and said, "And just how to you expect to best me with that?!"
"That's easy," said the second knight. " It's extra sharp."
There's a drunk guy in line at the grocery store...
The woman in front of him has a block of cheddar cheese, a half gallon of milk, and a dozen eggs.
He stumbles up to her and says, "Why, you must be single!"
Rather surprised, she looks at him and replies, "Yes, I am single! You could tell that just from what I'm buying?"
Without missing a beat, the drunk guy says, "No, it's 'cause you're f**...' ugly!"
Whats the difference between a woman and a dog?
Put them both in the trunk of your car, drive around the block, and see which ones happy to see you afterwards.
As a kid I used to get so excited to see the cockpit on the plane
As a kid I used to get so excited to see the cockpit on the plane. I would always sit on the isle seat and wait for the cockpit door to open. Sometime the flight attendant will get in the way and block your view, you know bend over in a s**... way sorting stuff or helping someone .so I say to her "HEY MOVE! I WANT TO SEE THE PLANES COCKPIT NOT YOURS"
A clinic was trialling a new, cheap way to numb a patient for surgery.
The new method involved blunt force trauma to the patient's head.
The strategy was such a success that people would line up around the block to receive the new anaesthetic.
A man asked the doctor what the line was for.
The doctor replied "that's the punchline."
Chemistry joke about dry ice.
There are two guys: Bob and Steve. Bob is carving "Drink Coke" into a block of dry ice. Steve asks "why are you carving drink coke into that block of dry ice?" Bob replies "I just heard about this thing called subliminal advertising and I thought I would give it a try."
Every morning, I get out of bed and run around the block 5 times.
Then I slide the block back under the bed and go back to sleep.
I was walking home today...
...and a group of boys in a car drove past me and threw something out the window that just narrowly missed my head, I look down to find a block of cheese on the ground, and I just thought to myself... That's not very mature.
Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times...
Then I pick up the block, and put it back in the toy box.
California Roll
A man driving approaches a stop sign and slows down to a cool 5 mph, rolls smoothly across the crosswalk, looks both ways, and glides forward when he sees the coast is clear.
Unbeknownst to him, a cop sees this and pulls him over on the next block.
The cop pulls the guy out of the car and starts beating him.
The guy starts yelling "Stop! STOP!! What are you doing?! Stop!!!"
"Oh I'm sorry, did you want me to stop or slow down?"
A little girl asks her father how she got her name
"well honey a rose petal landed on your head as we were carrying you out of the hospital, so we named you rose."
his younger daughter runs up to him "and how did i get my name daddy?"
"well honey a lily petal landed on your head as we were carrying you out of the hospital, so we named you lily."
his son comes runnign up to him and yells "huuuuuuuuuuur flugerr dhuuuur"
"shut up cinder block"
Let's rob an Asian kitchen, or stroll down the block..
..either way we're taking a Wok.
What does the Lego man do for fun?
He throws a block party.
I left my house for a five-mile-run this morning. But when I got a block away, I had to turn around and go back because I forgot something.
I forgot I can't run five miles.
A magician calls a man onstage...
and he gives the man a sledgehammer, and he says, "I want you to take this sledgehammer and hit me as hard as you can in the head." The guy says, "Alright." The magician puts his head down on a block a wood and the guy hauls back and BAM! Pops this magician in the temple. Ten years later, the magician wakes up out of a coma in the hospital and goes, "TADAAA!"
Google just called, they want to put a camera on your mom...
... they heard she makes it around the block faster than their street view cars.
Cheese & Milk
Just as I was getting home last night a guy hit me with a block of cheese.
I thought that wasn't very mature.
He then ran over and pour milk all over my head.
I thought HOW DAIRY!!!
In Newcastle, England many people don't like to live above the seventh floor in a tower block
They have a fear of Eights
Imagine a masonry wall...
Now, picture just one piece of it...
This, my friends, is a mental block.
My wife has been around the block a few dozen times, if you know what I mean.
She's a mail carrier.
A man attends his wife's f**....
His wife had been hit by a car. Incredibly, the car screeched around the block and struck her once more before speeding off, never to be found.
The man was accepting condolences after the service. An old friend said to him, "I know you'll miss her."
"*Miss* her?" the man replied. "I got her pretty good the first two times!"
My writer's block makes me want to kill myself
And I would, but I dont know how to start the s**... note.
"Hey, you know where there's a theater around here?"
The man responds "Yeah, just around the corner and a block down. You plan on seeing a performance?"
The blonde answers "Yep, a friend told me about a comedic play called 'Puns', apparently is based around words, whatever that means."
"Wait, what exactly did your friend tell you?"
"That he really likes 'Puns': a funny play on words"
A cop is walking down the street and notices
A cop is walking down the street and notices a young blonde woman down on her knees under a streetlight. Can I help you? he asked.
The blonde woman replied, I dropped my diamond ring and I'm looking for it.
The cop asked, Did you drop it right here?
No, responded the blonde, I dropped it about a block away, but the light's better here.
What is 10 blocks long and never had s**...?
The line for the Nintendo Switch
What did the block of Silicon say to the block of Gold?
"Dude, quit being so dense!"
My son wants to name our next dog n**...
This way he can tell his friends he walked n**... around the block
The periodic table just got one block smaller
Scientists now say Plutonium is not a real element
GUYS. If you missed the eclipse today, there's going to be a secondary one later.
It's at 8:01 PM. The earth will block out the sun and it will go completely dark during a period of about 10 1/2 hours.
A man was murdered with a cinder block.
The evidence was concrete.
One blockchain said to another...
Don't mine me, I'm just forking.
Marriage defies gravity...
It's the only instance where a ring can block a hole...
My girlfriend was really hurt and upset when I told her I swung both ways.
She couldn't block both punches.
There was a comedy club called "The Joke"...
...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...
What tax filing service does a pirate use?
H&ARGH Block
There were three restaurants
There were three restaurants on the same block. One day one of them put up a sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the City."
The next day, the largest restaurant on the block put up a larger sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the World."
On the third day, the smallest restaurant put up a small sign which said "The Best Restaurant on this Block."
A friend from Mexico recently moved up to Wisconsin with me
Naturally, one of the first places we went was a cheese shop. He was being all tentative, only considering purchasing a small block of cheddar. He's never going to fit like that.
I said to him, Jesus, take the wheel.
A mathematician has one foot in a bucket of lava and the other on a block of ice
On average, he's okay.
A guy goes to his butcher
He asked for sliced ham. The butcher takes his block of ham, put on the machine and start cutting some slices. He cuts 1 slice, 2 slices, 3 slices and looks at the customer:
Should I stop or do you want me to go on?
Go on, go on!
I cuts 5 mores slices and look at the customer again:
Go on, keep cutting some slices .
The butcher continue his work and after a long time and 11 more slices the customer says:
Stop! That's the one I want.
A wizard once turned me into a block of cheese...
I was very grateful.
My mom was at the airport on her way home from Wisconsin when she got stopped by TSA.
Ma'am, do you have any sharp objects in your luggage?
He proceeded to unzip her luggage and pulled out a block of cheese she had packed.
She smiled and said Just that sharp cheddar
What do you call a neighbourhood full of idle novelists?
Writer's block.
The Chinese have taken over our office block.
That's wong on so many levels.
"Give me an example of when you've gone the extra mile for someone?" asked the job interviewer.
"Well," I said. "One time a p**... refused to walk down the block to my car."
Where does a pirate go to do his taxes?
H&Rrrrrr block (pirate voice)
I thought of this the other day, not sure if it's an actual joke or not, made me laugh at myself though.
I was walking home and someone threw a block of cheese out of their window hit me on the head
I turned and shouted that wasn't very mature was it
A plumber told me an interesting thing, the best call he ever went to was when some kid had dropped a pear down the toilet.
He said it was the easiest call he'd ever been to, all he had to do was flush the toilet, and it cleared the block.
Because a flush beats a pear every time.
A baby cow walks up to a mom cow and says
"Mommy,why is my name rose",the mom says "because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head".a 2nd cow asks "why is my name lily?" the mom says "because a Lilly fell on your head when you were born".a third cow comes over and says "dur glu fo dur.".the mom then says "shut up cinder block!"
I once asked a cheese maker if there was any way he could make me a block of cheddar using soy milk.
Hey said, "I'm sorry, but there's no whey."
My friend sneaked up behind me, and hit me over the head with a block of cheese
I said Oh that's very mature.
Blockbuster
A man walks into blockbuster, has a look around and goes to the front desk.
"excuse me sir, can I have a copy of Batman forever?"
Clerk responds: "Sorry guy, I'm gonna need it back tomorrow night".
Instead Of Blocking Your Ex
Become such a disaster online, that everyone makes fun of your ex for dating you
Revenge 101
I blocked a girl for correcting my grammar
It feelded good
I was walking home and somebody threw a block of cheese at my head
It wasn't very mature.
Stephen Hawking d**... joke
Why did Steven hawking never get a b**...?
Cause google blocked his pop up !
I was in the supermarket the other day when this guy threw a block of cheddar at me.
Outraged, I shouted : "Well that's not very mature is it ?"
A photographer was badly hurt this morning when a huge block of cheese fell on him.
Everyone posing for the wedding party picture had tried to warn him.
A man and his wife went fishing one day. As they were fishing, they spotted the Coast Guard coming towards them.
Wife: "Honey, we caught four fish, and we are only allowed three, so lets throw one back into the sea."
Husband: "Are you mad, woman, that's our food for tonight. Take one fish and hide it in your p**...."
wife: "And what about the smell???"
Husband: "Just block the fish's nose!...."
When I was young, women were chasing me all around the block
But I got too old for stealing handbags.
Why did the block of cheese run in the US presidential election?
Because he wanted to make America grate again.
Three kids walk into a room
The first kid says to their mom mom why am I name daisy?
The mom replies because when you were born a daisy landed on your head
the second kid asks mom why am I named rose
The mom replied because when you were born I found a rose landed on your head
The third kid walks in uhh hello mumajsagshhshayayauh
The mom replies not now cinder block
Breaking News: Supreme court has ruled that basic intelligence tests for Election voting is Discriminatory.
The judge said that it is unfair to block all Republicans from voting.
A woman was working at a l**... counter when a customer approached with a pair of frilly p**....
"I'd like to buy these," she said, "but only if you can embroider 'If you can read this, you're too close' on the back."
So the saleswoman took the p**... to the tailor in the backroom and described the rather unusual request.
The tailor said, "I can do that. Does she want block letters or script?"
Since the saleswoman didn't know, she went back around to the counter, and asked, "Do you want that in block letters or script?" And the customer replied with a smile, "Braille."
After a night out on the town, a Jewish couple is taking a cab home.
When they arrive, the cabbie says, "That'll be $46, please."
The husband gives him a $50 bill and waits.
"I'm sorry, but I don't have change to give you." says the cabbie.
The husband says, "No worries, you can take us for a spin around the block a couple of times."
I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers...
... and then topped it off with a margarita. Not a good idea.
Knowing full well I was at least slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a taxi home.
Sure enough I passed a police road block but because it was a taxi, they just waved it past.
I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise.
I have never driven a taxi before, and I'm not sure where I got it.
Went to Blockbuster and asked if I could rent Batman Forever.
The best they could do was 3 days.
Have you ever been walking behind someone and they're slow and you can't get around them no matter what you do and then you try to pass them and at the very last second they turn right in front of you and block you and you get frustrated?
Anyway, I need bail.
I was out mowing my lawn...
I was out mowing my lawn. When I had to stop and refill the mower with gasoline.
The gas can broke and spilled gasoline into a puddle. I went to get some absorbent to clean up the mess but found the local stray cat had lapped up all that spilled gasoline.
I tried catch it, but it went racing around the block, then back into my yard and right up my tallest tree. Then fell right off the top of the tree.
Feeling bad I took the cat to the vet, the doctor gave the cat an exam and I finally asked, "Is the cat alright?"
The doctor replied, "the cat is fine, it just ran out of gas."
I was born in california
A: "I was born in California."
B: "Which part?"
A: "All of me."
A: "Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?"
B: "No, I'm sorry I don't."
A: "Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to the left."
True story:
I was bringing our cans in when a salt truck came down our block this afternoon, and was pretty jolted when, while driving past me, it proceeded to dump salt right on me.
My husband comforted me by saying, I'm so sorry… you were a-salted.
