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Blindness Jokes

53 blindness jokes and hilarious blindness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blindness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Blindness jokes often cause mixed reactions - some find them hilarious, while others find them offensive. But whether you love them or hate them, the truth is that these jokes can bring awareness to various types of blindness. Read this article to find out the truth about blindness and its various forms, such as colour blindness and glaucoma, and how modern treatments have enabled people to be cured of nearsightedness.

Funniest Blindness Short Jokes

Short blindness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blindness humour may include short blinded eye jokes also.

  1. How do you break up two blind guys fighting? Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
  2. 2 blind guys were about to fight I shouted: I bet the one with the knife wins!
    Both started running away.
  3. What's the hardest thing about dating a blind woman? Getting her husband's voice just right
  4. A blind man walks into a bar The bartender says "Oh hey! I haven't seen you in forever!" The blind man says "same"
  5. How do you stop a fight between two blind men? Just say you're rooting for the man with the knife.
  6. Today I gave my seat to a blind lady on the bus, That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.
  7. In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
    Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
    Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
    Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."
  8. A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl She asked me for my number.
    I told her that we usually use names.
  9. I saw two blind men fighting And I yelled out "I'm rooting for the one with the knife"
    Then they both ran away
  10. Why aren't color blind people allowed to join the police force? They wouldn't know who to shoot

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Blindness One Liners

Which blindness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blindness? I can suggest the ones about bad eyesight and eyesight.

  1. I volunteered to help blind children today! That's a verb not an adjective btw.
  2. I help blind kids Verb, not adjective
  3. In my spare time I help blind children. I mean the verb, not the adjective.
  4. I once went on a blind date with a vegan I never met herbivore
  5. I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness. It came out of the green.
  6. Why did the blind woman fall down the well? Because she couldn't see that well.
  7. How do find the blind man at the nudist colony? It's not hard.
  8. My blind wife left me At least she isn't seeing anyone else
  9. After work, I volunteer to help blind children By the way: Verb, not adjective
  10. I like to help blind children. The verb, not the adjective.
  11. A blind man had to shoot his dog... To this day, he still misses him
  12. I love helping blind children The verb not the adjective
  13. How do you surprise a blind man? Leave the plunger in the toilet
  14. What is it about being blind... ...that makes people want to walk their dog so much?
  15. I dated a blind girl and she broke up with me. Guess who's back with a different voice

Colour Blindness Jokes

Here is a list of funny colour blindness jokes and even better colour blindness puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I just found out I'm colour blind The diagnosis came completely out of the green.
    (Courtesy of a family member)
  • I was completely shocked today when my doctor told me I was colour blind.. It came completely out of the green
  • Just went to the doctor and found out I'm colour blind Genuinely can't believe it, this has come completely out of the green
  • What do colour-blind people and cyclists have in common? They can't tell the difference between red and green.
  • I just found out I am colour blind. It really came out of the grey.
  • I was diagnosed with colour blindness yesterday. The news came out of the purple.
  • I just got diagnosed as colour blind! I didn't expect that - it came straight out of the purple!
  • What is red and green and blue all over? I have no idea I'm colour blind
  • Found out I was colour blind the other day That one came right out of the orange!
  • I can complete a Rubik's Cube without touching it Perk of being colour blind
Blindness joke, I can complete a Rubik's Cube without touching it

Cheeky Blindness Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about blindness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blind deaf jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blindness pranks.

n**... painting

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.
So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"
"Blind man!"
The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt."
They let him in.
The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice t**.... Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"

A Nun was taking a bath when there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" She asked. The voice back replies "It's the blind man, can I come in?" The Nun thinks for a moment and says "yes that's fine". The door opens and the man says.

Nice t**..., where you want me to hang the blinds?

Why don't blind people go skydiving?

It scares the s**... out of their dogs.

I was on a blind date with this girl...

And I told her, being funny is the second best way to get a girl into bed. She asked "what's the best way?"
I said "a big knife."
She laughed and said "you're funny."
I said "wise choice."

Pull

A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.
"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.
"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.
Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

How do you find a blind guy at a n**... beach?

It's not hard

I have just started a s**... relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

A lawyer woke up in the hospital after surgery

He asked, Why are all the blinds drawn in here? The nurse answered, There's a fire across the street and we didn't want you to think the operation had been a failure.

A blind woman got on a bus. Sadly, all the seats were taken.

A man noticed that no one else on the bus was willing to give up their seat for the blind woman, so he kindly guided her to his seat and took a standing spot. As the bus started up, the man frowned at the others for their selfishness.
Later that day, the man came home in tears, covered in bruises.
"What's the matter?" asked the man's wife.
"I lost my job as a bus driver."

If a blind girl says you have a big w**...…

She's probably just pulling your leg.

Blindness joke, My blind wife left me