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Blindfold Jokes

42 blindfold jokes and hilarious blindfold puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blindfold that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Blindfold Short Jokes

Short blindfold jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blindfold humour may include short blinded eye jokes also.

  1. I was thinking about buying a blindfold, but decided not to I just couldn't see myself wearing it
  2. My girlfriend asked me what she should wear... "a reverse burka" I told her. "Whats that?" she asked. "it's when all you're wearing is a blindfold."
  3. I bought a blindfold the other day, but I'm gonna have to return it. I just can't see myself wearing it.
  4. I bought a blindfold the other day. I'm not sure why, I can't really see myself wearing it.
  5. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.
  6. I'm so good at being interrogated. I can do it blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back.
  7. Have you guys tried the new sport of blindfold archery? You don't know what you're missing.
  8. My friend took me to a blindfolded fencing class, but I didn't enjoy it. I couldn't see the point.
  9. I wish everyone would stop criticising Jimmy savile. When I was 9, he fixed it for me to milk a cow blindfolded.
  10. Yo momma's so ugly... When the cops shoot her, the bullets come back and ask for blindfolds.

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Blindfold One Liners

Which blindfold one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blindfold? I can suggest the ones about window blind and blind man.

  1. How do you blindfold an Asian woman? Put a windshield in front of her.
  2. Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don't know what you're missing.
  3. Hey girl are you a piñata? Because I'd need a blindfold to smash that.
  4. I just bought a new blindfold. Can't see myself wearing it though.
  5. Never been to the blindfold shooting range? You don't know what you're missing.
  6. Has anyone else tried blindfolded archery? Honestly, you don't know what you're missing.
  7. What do Asian people use as blindfolds? Shoe laces.
  8. My old Scout Master told me this one "Don't take the blindfold off until I'm done"
  9. What do you call a bunch of blindfolded Germans dancing? The not-see party
  10. What's the reverse of a blindfold A burka
  11. What do you get if you cross a road with a blindfold? Ran over.
  12. What do you get when you cross a busy road with a broken leg and a blindfold? Hit.
  13. Stevie Wonder is so good at piano I bet he could do it blindfolded
  14. What do comedians call a blindfold? A sight gag
  15. My GF told me we should see other people I was able to finally take my blindfold off

Blindfold joke, My GF told me we should see other people

Laughter Blindfold Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about blindfold you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blind spot jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blindfold pranks.

d**... girl, are you a piñata?

Because I'm going to need a blindfold to hit that

b**... is so much easier now we're older. I used to have to blindfold her.

Now I just hide her glasses.

I recently entered a blindfolded m**... competition...

I haven't seen the results yet so I've no idea where I came...

The Pope and an atheist are having an argument

After a few hours the pope turns to the atheist and says "You are like a man who is blindfolded, in a dark room who is looking for a black cat that isn't there."
"Well" replies the atheist "we are not so dissimilar then. As you are also like a man who is blindfolded, in a dark room who is looking for a black cat that isn't there but the only difference is you say you have found it."

Entered a blindfolded m**... contest the other day...

No idea where I came

Baked Beans.

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

Guy can tell how any animal was killed

Guy walks into a bar and says: While I am blindfolded, I can feel the pelt of any animal and tell you how it was killed.
People start betting, the guy is blindfolded and given the first pelt (this bar has them for some reason).
the man holds the pelt and fingers the bullet hole, then says: this is a polar bear and it was killed .30-06! He is correct!
the next pelt is handed to him. He feels it and finds the bullet hole. then he says: This is a muskrat and it was killed by a .22! He is correct! Everyone cheers, beers are bought and a good time is had by all.
the next morning, the man wakes up in his own bed next to his wife but he now has a black eye and a headache. He wakes his wife and asks what happened with his new shiner. she says that she gave it to him. he asks why. well, she says, last night you came home drunk, and stuck your hand down my pants. then you yelled in my ear: **SKUNK, KILLED BY AX.**

Preacher goes to a party

A member of the church decided to call on his preacher to his house one Friday night. The preacher arrives to find a party in full swing.
On entering the house, he sees a circle of n**... men with blindfolded women moving from man to man, fondling their g**... in an attempt to guess their identity.
The embarrassed preacher turns to the host and says, "I'm sorry, I don't think I fit in here."
"Nonsense," says the host. "Your name's been called three times already!"

I entered a blindfolded m**... competition....

I still don't know where I came

How do you BlindFold a c**...?

Dental Floss.

A man is telling a story to his friend.

He says:
- So last night I was at that s**... girl's place, and we were talkin' dirty. And at one point she blindfolded herself and said "Do what you want!". So, y'know, I grabbed her phone and laptop and walked out...
At that point, his friend starts laughing. The first guy replies:
- What you laughin' at? If you were there, we could have taken the TV!

I entered a blindfolded m**... tournament.

No idea where I came.

Last request...

A blindfolded man is about to be put to death by firing squad. The general walks up to him and asks if he has a last request.
"I would like to sing the song of my people one last time."
The general agrees and takes a step back.
"One million bottles of beer on the wall! One million bottles of beer!"

m**...

Just got back from competing in the Blindfolded m**... World Championship
No idea where I came.

Blindfold joke, Has anyone else tried blindfolded archery?