Blind Jokes

Funniest Blind Short Jokes

Short blind jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blind humour may include short invisible jokes also.

1. 2 blind guys were about to fight I shouted: I bet the one with the knife wins!
   Both started running away.
2. What's the hardest thing about dating a blind woman? Getting her husband's voice just right
3. A blind man walks into a bar The bartender says "Oh hey! I haven't seen you in forever!" The blind man says "same"
4. How do you stop a fight between two blind men? Just say you're rooting for the man with the knife.
5. Today I gave my seat to a blind lady on the bus, That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.
6. In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
   Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
   Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
   Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."
7. A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl She asked me for my number.
   I told her that we usually use names.
8. I saw two blind men fighting And I yelled out "I'm rooting for the one with the knife"
   Then they both ran away
9. Why aren't color blind people allowed to join the police force? They wouldn't know who to shoot
10. My buddy set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby." I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a diaper...

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Blind One Liners

Which blind one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blind? I can suggest the ones about blur and blink.

1. I volunteered to help blind children today! That's a verb not an adjective btw.
2. I help blind kids Verb, not adjective
3. I once went on a blind date with a vegan I never met herbivore
4. Why did the blind woman fall down the well? Because she couldn't see that well.
5. How do find the blind man at the nudist colony? It's not hard.
6. My blind wife left me At least she isn't seeing anyone else
7. How do you surprise a blind man? Leave the plunger in the toilet
8. What is it about being blind... ...that makes people want to walk their dog so much?
9. I dated a blind girl and she broke up with me. Guess who's back with a different voice
10. Q: Why can't a blind guy see his friends? A: Because he's married.
11. I started dating a blind girl. The hardest part was imitating her husband's voice.
12. "I see", said the blind carpenter As he tripped over his hammer and saw
13. I'm never buying a Labrador... Havent you seen how many of their owners go blind?
14. Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don't know what you're missing.
15. How does the blind skydiver know he's about to land? The dog leash slackens.
    (Cr

Blind Man Jokes

Here is a list of funny blind man jokes and even better blind man puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A blind man walks into a library and asks, "Do you have any books on tape?" The librarian says, "Yes, yes we do, but it's not a very interesting subject."
• A boy asked his mom "Mom, What is dark humor?" The mom said to the boy "See that man with no hands? Tell him to clap."
  The boy then said to his mom "But mom, you know I'm blind!"
• I asked a girl whether she would date a blue-collar man like me She said blue or white don't matter, she's collar blind.
• There was a fight between a blind man, a deaf man, and a mute man I just have to ask, how long until we end this senseless violence?
• How do you get a blind man to see? By boat.
• I got $20 from a blind homeless man on the street today! He had this tin can full of money, and was just holding it in front of my face. What a friendly guy.
• What did the blind man say when he was handed a cheese grater? Wow! That's the most violent thing I've read in a while!
• A blind man with a service dog walked into a bar The construction worker holding the bar said, "Dude, you need a new dog!"
• A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair.
• Old but good joke... Why did the blind man run into the well?
  Because he couldn't see that well.
  (My future children are gonna love me)

Blind Guy Jokes

Here is a list of funny blind guy jokes and even better blind guy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• [Blind Date] Guy: Hi, my name is Heath. Girl: Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Heather.
  Guy: This isn't a competition.
• I loaned a blind guy some money... It's ok though. He said he'd pay me back next time he saw me.
• I saw two blind guys fist fighting, I yelled, "I'm betting on the guy with the knife."
  And they both ran away.
• So I gave a blind guy a basketball. I think he's still trying to read it...
• A blind guy rang my door bell... When I opened the door he told me, "You should really cover your windows up," and handed me a business card.
• Why was the blind guy always so happy? He couldn't see any reason not to be!
• How do you stop a fight between 2 blind people? You scream: I bet 10 dollars on the guy with the knife!
• how to stop two blind guys from fighting Yell "HE HAS A KNIFE"
• A couple have a terrible accident and they both end up blind The guy turns to his girlfriend and whispers in her ear:
  I'm sorry, but we can't see each other anymore.
• Did you hear about the guy who robbed blind people? Nobody saw it coming.

Blind Date Jokes

Here is a list of funny blind date jokes and even better blind date puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I went on a blind date and the girl gave me a honeycomb. Knew right away she was a keeper.
• Last night I dated a blind woman At one point she ran her hands over my cheeks and mistook my acne for braille. Boy, was my face read.
• I love dating blind girls You don't have to worry about them seeing other people.
• Had a blind date last night. Her name was ..:::.::…..:::.::
• "I have slept with 3 men before meeting you " said my blind date "Man,I was just late by 20 minutes" ..
• I went on a blind date the other day... ...it didn't start that way, but she brought pepper spray.
  *Credit to America's Got talent comedian (I don't remember his name)
• I asked a blind girl If she'd go on a date with me She said "Let me see"
• My friend set me up with a blind date at the gym. She didn't see us working out.
• I used to date a blind girl At first, I was so excited that she told me she'd been seeing people
• How did I get a date with a blind girl? Well, it was easy, she wasn't seeing anyone.

Color Blind Jokes

Here is a list of funny color blind jokes and even better color blind puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Mother, mother, ... ... how come other children need hours to solve Rubik's cube but I do it in just a few seconds?
  - Well, sweetie, it's because you're color blind.
• yesterday the doctor said i was color blind the diagnosis came out of the purple
• Roses are gray Violets are gray
  I'm color blind
  And not very good at poetry
• The colorblind test results came in, turns out I'm indeed color blind, that totally came out of the purple.
• I unexpectedly found out I'm color blind That sure came out of the yellow
• What did the color blind psychic say? Q: What did the color blind psychic say?
  A: I cannot see the fuschia.
• Why is it good to be color blind? Because people can't call you racist.
• What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.
• A color blind person is feeling down He's feeling a little purple
• What does a color blind racist say? I don't see color
  I see race

Ridiculous Blind Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about blind you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vision jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blind pranks.