Following is our collection of funny Blind jokes. There are some blind braille jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these blind blind date puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
Verb, not adjective
So blind people can hate them too
They talk about all the amazing music he has created over the years and the incredible things he has done with his life and as a last question the reporter asks:
"But don't you wish you hadn't been born blind?"
and Stevie replies "Hey, it could've been much worse - I could have been born black"
On the Breast of a woman named Gale
was tattooed the price of her tail
and on her behind
for the sake of the blind
was the same information in braile.
Knew right away she was a keeper.
Put a windshield in front of her.
Joe had a blind date with Maria for the prom and, as the evening progressed, he found himself more and more attracted to her.
After some really passionate embracing, he said: "Tell me, do you object to making love?"
"That is something I have never done before," Maria replied.
"Never made love? You mean you are a virgin?" Joe was amazed!
"No, silly," she giggled, "I've never objected!"
I don't see any problem with it.
Q- How can you tell the blind guy at a nudist colony?
A- It's not hard.
Q- Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A- The one carrying a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q- Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A- The one who can eat the last donut.
Either way, I wouldn't see my dad again
You can explore blind eyesight reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean blind deaf dad jokes. There are also blind puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
It came completely out of the green
Son: "I'm over here Dad."
Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."
Havent you seen how many of their owners go blind?
It's not my fault I'm blind.
It's not hard.
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blond joke?"
The man said to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blond. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler, and he's blond. The bouncer is blond. The man sitting over to your left is also blond. Still wanna tell that blond joke?"
The blind man was silent for a moment and then said, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
There was more tripping than usual.
The diagnosis came completely out of the green.
(Courtesy of a family member)
I mean the verb, not the adjective.
I think he's still trying to read it...
... His friends bought him a silver-coated nutmeg grater for his birthday. When they asked how he liked it, he said it was the most violent story he'd ever read.
It's not hard.
Because she couldn't see that well.
And I yelled out "I'm rooting for the one with the knife"
Then they both ran away
Leave the plunger in the toilet
He said: "who wrote this bullshit"
It's ok though. He said he'd pay me back next time he saw me.
I said dad, I'm over here
I said, "I think that the guy with the knife will win!" They both ran away.
...that makes people want to walk their dog so much?
It's not hard
He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me...
Last night she said she doesn't think we should see each other anymore.
That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.
I was also fired from my job as a bus driver, no justice for the kind hearted in this world.
I shouted: I bet the one with the knife wins!
Both started running away.
To this day, he still misses him
He had this tin can full of money, and was just holding it in front of my face. What a friendly guy.
A blind guy visited his choir mistress at home and found her bathing. Since he was blind, she let him in.
After bathing, she came out naked, spread her legs and started shaving in front of him. She tried to make a conversation by asking him, Brother John, what brings you here? Is everything OK at home?
He replied, Yes, very fine. I came to tell you that I have done the eye surgery and I can see very clearly now.
And I told her, being funny is the second best way to get a girl into bed. She asked "what's the best way?"
I said "a big knife."
She laughed and said "you're funny."
I said "wise choice."
The librarian says, "Yes, yes we do, but it's not a very interesting subject."
Because they can't C.
(I'm so sorry.)
He said, "Son, don't you know doing that will make you go blind!"
I said, "Dad, I'm over here."
She asked me for my number.
I told her that we usually use names.
The bartender says "Oh hey! I haven't seen you in forever!" The blind man says "same"
Then I shouted: "I'm supporting the one with the knife", they both ran away.
When I opened the door he told me, "You should really cover your windows up," and handed me a business card.
Getting her husband's voice just right
it isn't hard.
I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a diaper...
As he tripped over his hammer and saw
By the way: Verb, not adjective
Today I saw two blind people fighting... Then I shouted, "I'm rooting for the one with a knife!" They both ran away.
She sent me to my room and told me my dad would talk to me after work.
When my Dad came home he sat me down and said "Son, if you keep doing that, you'll go blind"
I said "I'm over here Dad"
They wouldn't know who to shoot
A sunken chest and no booty.
I yelled, "I'm betting on the guy with the knife."
And they both ran away.
The verb, not the adjective.
I think we should see other people
Leave the plunger in the toilet
I just have to ask, how long until we end this senseless violence?
You don't know what you're missing.
And I really have to hand it to her.
The verb not the adjective
At one point she ran her hands over my cheeks and mistook my acne for braille. Boy, was my face read.
I yelled: I BET ON THE ONE WITH THE KNIFE!
They run away from each other
I lost my job.
I had to talk him out of it: "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?!?"
Just say you're rooting for the man with the knife.
- Mom, what's dark humor?
- Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap
- Mom! I'm blind....
- Exactly.
His pal warns, "That might not be such a good idea. Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.
So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"
"Blind man!"
The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt."
They let him in.
The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. Wow, this bed is big!
Everything is big in Texas, says the bellhop.
The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. Wow these drinks are big!
The bartender replies, Everything is big in Texas.
After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. Second door to the right, says the bartender.
The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, Don't flush, don't flush!
A: Because he's married.
That's a verb not an adjective btw.
Nice tits, where you want me to hang the blinds?
and I shouted, "I'm rooting for the one with the knife!" They both ran away.
Yell out: 'My money is on the one with a knife...'
The dog leash slackens.
(Cr
It scares the shit out of their dogs.
I don't know if this joke has been done before, English is not my native language, but I thought of this myself (I think)
Here it goes:
What did 8 say to 4 after her blind date with 3?
- Well, he seems to be in his prime, but he is also a little odd. I've set you up on a blind date and now you got me that blind date, so I think we're even.
He travels to Thebes to consult the blind prophet Tiresias and asks him, "What does my future hold?"
Tiresias thinks quietly for a time and answers, "First you'll murder your father."
Oedipus is shocked to hear that he'll become a killer, but there must be more to his fate.
He asks, "What happens next?"
"Then you'll take his throne."
Oedipus is pleased to hear that he'll become king, but there must be more to his fate.
"And what happens next?"
"Then you'll sleep with Joe."
Oedipus is confused.
"Who's Joe?"
...the bartender says, "Hey man, what's with the parrot?"
The man says, "It's my seeing-eye parrot."
The bartender says, "You know, most people use dogs right?"
The man replies, "Yeah, but do you know how hard it is to get one of those to stay on your shoulder?"
A Not See.
A blind man walks into a bar,
And then a table,
And then a chair.
Just some random reflections off the top of my head. Thanks for listening.
Girl: Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Heather.
Guy: This isn't a competition.
She said blue or white don't matter, she's collar blind.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the blind blind golfers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working blind blind carpenter piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.