Blind Date Jokes

105 blind date jokes and hilarious blind date puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blind date that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Blind Date Jokes

Short blind date jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blind date humour may include short bad date jokes also.

  1. What's the hardest thing about dating a blind woman? Getting her husband's voice just right
  2. A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl She asked me for my number.
    I told her that we usually use names.
  3. My buddy set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby." I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a diaper...
  4. [Blind Date] Guy: Hi, my name is Heath. Girl: Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Heather.
    Guy: This isn't a competition.
  5. I asked a girl whether she would date a blue-collar man like me She said blue or white don't matter, she's collar blind.
  6. I went on a blind date and the girl gave me a honeycomb. Knew right away she was a keeper.
  7. Last night I dated a blind woman At one point she ran her hands over my cheeks and mistook my acne for braille. Boy, was my face read.
  8. "I have slept with 3 men before meeting you " said my blind date "Man,I was just late by 20 minutes" ..
  9. Dating a blind girl is challenging yet rewarding.. It took me forever to get her husbands voice just right
  10. I went on a blind date the other day... didn't start that way, but she brought pepper spray.
    *Credit to America's Got talent comedian (I don't remember his name)

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Blind Date joke, I went on a blind date the other day...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about blind date can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of blind date puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Blind Date One Liners

Which blind date one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blind date? I can suggest the ones about first date and blindfold.

  1. I once went on a blind date with a vegan I never met herbivore
  2. I dated a blind girl and she broke up with me. Guess who's back with a different voice
  3. I started dating a blind girl. The hardest part was imitating her husband's voice.
  4. I love dating blind girls You don't have to worry about them seeing other people.
  5. Had a blind date last night. Her name was ..:::.::…..:::.::
  6. I went on a blind date once... ...her name was ....:::..... ::...:..:...:
  7. I asked a blind girl If she'd go on a date with me She said "Let me see"
  8. My friend set me up with a blind date at the gym. She didn't see us working out.
  9. How did I get a date with a blind girl? Well, it was easy, she wasn't seeing anyone.
  10. I had a blind date tonight She bolted after dinner when I told her I wasn't her husband.
  11. I once dated a blind girl for 6 months. She had no idea.
  12. I once asked a blind woman on a date She didn't see it coming
  13. What do you call a vegan blind date? A taxi.
  14. My friends set me up on a blind date. I can't wait to see her guide dog!
  15. How did Stevie Wonder meet his wife? On a blind date

Blind Date joke, How did Stevie Wonder meet his wife?

Blind Date Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about blind date you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean date with blonde jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make blind date prank.

Joe took his blind date, Kim, to the carnival...

"What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," said Kim, and so they ambled over to the 'guess-the-weight' stand. The owner guessed 121 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. And back to the 'guess-the-weight' stand they went. Since they had been here before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

A guy goes on a blind date for the first time...

...And is kind of having a hard time getting a conversation started. He decides to try to get her to talk with a very simple topic: Music.
"Do you like dubstep?" He asks.
"Like it?" She responds, with an excited look on her face. "I wub it!"

The Carnival Date

Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Amber?" asked Jesse.
"I want to get weighed," replied Amber.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Jesse lost his dollar.
By this time, Jesse figured that she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How did it go?"
Amber responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy."

Are you a v**...?

Joe had a blind date with Maria for the prom and, as the evening progressed, he found himself more and more attracted to her.
After some really passionate embracing, he said: "Tell me, do you object to making love?"
"That is something I have never done before," Maria replied.
"Never made love? You mean you are a v**...?" Joe was amazed!
"No, silly," she giggled, "I've never objected!"

Best listener

Girl: My boyfriend never listens to me.
Friend: You should date a blind mute.
Girl: why?
Friend: he's all ears

Pirate jokes I've heard throughout my life

What did the pirate say when the steering wheel was shoved down his pants?
ARGHHHHH your driven me nuts!
Why was the pirate dissatisfied with his blind date?
She had a sunken chest and no b**....
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
They can spend years stuck at sea!
And of course: Why couldn't the teenagers watch the pirate movie?

How did Helen Keller meet her husband?

On a blind date!

Blind dates are the best

They don't even see me coming

The other night I went out on a blind date

Well it didn't start out that way, she had mace.

What did one diabetic say to the other diabetic, on their blind date?

I'm sorry, but you're just not my type.

Apparently The Hulk's blind date went well.

I asked him about it today and he just said "Hulk Smash."

I asked my sister how her blind date went

"Oh it was terrible" she said, "He showed up in a 1948 Rolls-Royce."
"So what's so bad about *that*?" I asked.
Apparently he was the original owner.

My first blind date.

My friend set me up on a blind date and all I had was the phone number of the guy I was supposed to meet. So I call him up and ask how will I recognize him?
"I am 175cm tall and weigh 75kg and I will be standing in the corner. What about you?"
I replied, "Well, I guess I will be the one with a tape measure and a bathroom scale..."

Went on a weird blind date

We met at a place downtown. My date introduced himself as Tim.
"So Tim, what do you do for a living?"
He hesitated for a second, "I work for the thought police."
I was clearly taken aback.
Tim: "Now, before you say anything...I know what you're thinking..."

What's the worst question you can ask a blind date?

"So.. you seeing anyone?"

Once there was a girl who wanted a boyfriend........

Once there was a girl who wanted a boyfriend. Her mom wanted to help her, so she set up a blind date for her daughter.
When the girl got back from the date she said "That was the worst night of my life!"
"Why is that?" her mom asked.
"He owns a 1922 Rolls Royce!"
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"He's the original owner mom!"

After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.

Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."
"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

I was on a blind date

She said "You're so ugly I'm going to need you to wear a plastic bag over your head".
I said "You mean a paper bag?"
She replied "I don't think you understand how ugly you are."

My sister got set up for a blind date

My dad said "Thank goodness he's blind, that way he doesn't have to see your face!"

What kind of dates do scientists like to be set up on?

Double blind

I used to date a blind girl

At first, I was so excited that she told me she'd been seeing people

I was on a blind date with this girl...

And I told her, being funny is the second best way to get a girl into bed. She asked "what's the best way?"
I said "a big knife."
She laughed and said "you're funny."
I said "wise choice."

A man is on a blind date with a girl named Marie and things heat up a little...

He asks her, "Would you object to s**...?"
Marie tells him, a little embarrassed, "That's something I've never done."
With this he says, "Really? I've never had s**... with a v**...."
Marie replies, "No, silly! I never object."

Blind Date

Her: I'm a big country fan
*Trying to Impress her
Me: China is very large

Strapped For Cash

During college, I worked on 
a conveyor belt. One day, I was 
on a blind date, and she asked me about my job.
I work at the end of a belt, I said.
With an ebullient smile, she asked, Are you the buckle?

Always bring a cane to a first date.

You never know, it might be blind love.

What's a pirates worst fear on a blind date?

A sunken chest and no b**....

Where do West Virginians go for Blind Dates?

Olive Garden..when you're here you're family.

Do you know what type of people go only on blind dates?

Blind people.

You've heard of "boy who cried wolf", but what about "man who cried pig"?

I heard the rest of the blind date was pretty awkward!

Today my friend went on a blind date

He is ugly
But good for him
She couldn't tell.

I went out on a blind date with a candle...

It wasn't a good match.

I was set up on a blind date the other day by my friend, as I was getting ready he said "heads up, she's expecting a baby"

Now I feel pretty daft sitting in this restaurant wearing a diaper

Why is Stevie wonders calendar like meeting people on tinder?

It's all blind dates...

I decided to try out a blind date

and been standing here outside the restaurant for an hour with my eyes covered, I don't think she's coming

I asked my blind date to meet me at the gym... but she never showed up :(

...guess the two of us are never gonna work out

I used to date a girl who was blind.

She broke up with me when I told her we should see other people.

I'd like to go on a blind date

But I can't see it happening

Vegan lady and a butcher

A vegan lady went on a blind date with a man. She asked him what do you do for a living. He said he is a butcher. The lady said "eww that's grouse".
The butcher replied "a person who sells vegetables is grocer".

It was very difficult and challenging for me to date a blind girl.

It took me days to speak in her husband's voice perfectly.

I asked a blind girl out on a date

She said she was seeing someone

A pilot is flying a plane and shortly after mid-air announcement , forgets to turn off the mic.

He then mentions to his copilot : "I am dating that cute air hostess. After we land , we will go to the hotel and bang. "
The air hostess after hearing this runs towards the front of the plane at full speed to tell the pilot to turn off the mic and hits a blind man's stick and falls down.
The guy sitting on the other side says : "Why are you in such a hurry , we haven't even landed yet! "

My mate set me up on a blind date.

He said, "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know... She's expecting a baby."
I felt like a right idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a n**...!

Abby's roommate had a blind date.

"How did it go?" Abby asked her.
"Terrible!"she answered. "He showed up in a 1950 Rolls Royce."
"Wow!" remarked Abby. "That's a very expensive car. He must be very rich. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."

A friend set me up on a blind date. He said "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know. She's expecting a baby"

I felt like a right idiot sitting in a bar wearing nothing but a diaper.

I went on a blind date with a fellow movie buff

Talk soon started about our love of the silver screen. She asked if I was in to Indie films and I said" of course they are some of the best!". "ok", she replied, "what's your favourite then?"
"I don't think you can look past Raiders of the Lost Ark personally, but the Last crusade is a close 2nd"

I asked a blind girl out on a date in braille

and she left me on felt

What did 8 say to 4...?

I don't know if this joke has been done before, English is not my native language, but I thought of this myself (I think)
Here it goes:
What did 8 say to 4 after her blind date with 3?
- Well, he seems to be in his prime, but he is also a little odd. I've set you up on a blind date and now you got me that blind date, so I think we're even.

The blind date

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I'm meeting my blind date here tonight," he tells the bartender. "She's the sister of one of my friends. All he told me was that she was blonde and is expecting a baby." "Well," the bartender replies. "That explains why you're sitting here in just a diaper."

So a guy and a girl are on a blind date.

The girl says to the guy, So, Gerry, what do you do for a living?
Gerry immediately bends down to pick something up from under the table. He pulls out a stuffed gopher, and shows it to the girl. Oh, yeah, he says, I'm a taxidermist.
The girl replies with Oh, that's cool.
Then the gopher says, And a ventriloquist.

My girlfriend hated that I told blind jokes

Years ago I dated a girl for about 6 months. We got along super well. I met her family, and she met mine. Things were getting pretty serious between us.
The only thing that we really argued about was my blind jokes. I loved saying them and she hated them. In her defense, she had a blind brother so that's why it bothered her. One day I got a call, and found out that she got in a car accident and lost her sight.
After that she just stopped seeing me.

A girl returned back from her blind date, her roommate asked how was it ?

"it was lousy, he kept talking about how we can head back to his house to see the 1956 Ferrari 250GT."
" Wow,must be a rich guy "
"Yeah, and he was also the original owner".

Prayers before going on a blind date

Woman : oh god, I just hope he is not a serial killer,psychopath,needy, incel, stalker, poor,balding, ...
Man : god , don't let her be fat..

"How was your blind date?"

A college student asked her 21 year old roommate.
"Terrible!" The roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive classic car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."

What did the Battery say on his Blind Date?

I have a lot of energy and I am a pretty positive guy. But I do have a negative side.

So my blind date said "Tell me something quirky about yourself" and I said "Whenever I'm talking to someone and I think they're a waste of time, I start blethering on about Russian tanks"

She said "Wow, that's actually kind of weird" and I said "Yeah, but actually, the T-34 and the KVs really gave the Germans a shock in 1941".

What's the best part about a blind date?

The guide dogs.

A guy and a girl are set up on a blind date…

… despite some apprehension they both hit it off and agree to a second date.
Date two comes and there's even more fireworks, ending with a kiss goodnight.
Finally, a third date comes and at the end she invites him inside to spend the night.
As they're fooling around, she says If we're going to go to bed together, theres probably something you should know. When I was a little girl I was in an accident and I lost both my feet, so both my feet are prosthetic .
Slightly taken aback, the guy says I'm really sorry, I like you a lot. But if that's the case we can't be together .
Obviously very upset, she asks Why?! Are you a bigot or something?!
No he replies I'm lack-toes intolerant .

A walk in the woods…

A couple were on a blind date and they decided to take a walk in the woods. After some casual banter they started to feel more and more comfortable with each other and they started to feel a little frisky. They decided to sneak off the path into a dark grove of trees. After finding a good spot, they began making out and within a few minutes they were having s**....
After about 15 minutes, the man abruptly jumps up and says, d**... it, I really wish I had a flashlight!
The woman says, I wish you did, too – you've been eating grass for the past 10 minutes!

I am so unlucky in love.

I asked a blind woman for a date last week, and she said she was seeing someone.

How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.

Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?
"He was the original owner!"

Blind Date joke, How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.

jokes about blind date

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these blind date jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.