Bless Your Heart Jokes

15 bless your heart jokes and hilarious bless your heart puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bless your heart that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Bless Your Heart Jokes

Short bless your heart jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bless your heart humour may include short bless you jokes also.

  1. The Heart-Shaped Herb has been responsible for granting superhuman powers to every King of Wakanda in the line. It blessed the reigns down in Africa.
  2. My friend from the South says down there, they don't call people "r**..."... ...He said down there they say, "Well bless his heart."
  3. My niece was born with no eyelids, bless her heart, but the doctors were able to replace them with surgically removed f**...... Only side effect is she's a little c**...-eyed now.
  4. My wife argued that o**... s**... is the same exact thing as i**.... Bless her heart that she doesn't know the price difference.

Quick Jump To

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about bless your heart can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of bless your heart puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share These Bless Your Heart Jokes With Friends

Bless Your Heart One Liners

Which bless your heart one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bless your heart? I can suggest the ones about bless and god bless.

  1. I visited my wife's grave today Bless her heart she still thinks I'm digging a pond.

Bless Your Heart Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about bless your heart you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean sweetheart jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make bless your heart prank.

Some y**... had the audacity to say us Texans were dumb for not having Snow Tires. Bless their heart.

We may not have as much experience as y'all Yanks when it comes to snow, but after tinkering with it a couple minutes I think all of us Texans can agree to try and make a tire out of snow is a pretty dumb idea.
We'll keep our tires made of rubber, thanks.

The Three Old Ladies & the f**...

Three old ladies - Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a f**... approached from across the park.
The f**... came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.
Gertrude immediately had a s**....
Then Maude also had a s**....
But Tilly, bless her heart, being older and more feeble, couldn't quite reach that far.

I found a girl crying outside the mall today

When I asked her what was wrong, she told me she had just lost a whole $200. Out of the kindness of my heart, I gave her $40 out of the $200 I picked up at the entrance. When God blesses you, you pay it forward. :)

A little girl was saying her prayers for the night.

She said the following:"God bless mommy,God bless daddy,God bless grandma and goodbye grandpa." Her father,who had been listening,said,"Why 'goodbye,grandpa'?" The girl responded that it just felt like the right thing to say.
The next day her grandfather died of a heart attack.

A dad walks by his son's bedroom...

And hears the kid praying. "God bless mommy, daddy and grandma. Tata, grandpa." The dad can't help but scratch his head. Still, he was glad his kid was praying. And so he went to bed.
The next morning, Grandpa was found dead on the floor of a heart attack. The dad is weirded out again, but decides it's just coincidence.
That night, the kid prayed again. "God bless mommy and daddy. Tata, grandma." He is a little worried, but decides to brush it off.
The next morning, grandma is dead. He is starting to freak out now, and decides to wait by the bedroom door when the kid prays again.
"God bless mommy. Tata, daddy." He absolutely flipped out, stayed awake that night and went to the doctor in the morning. When he got back, he found his wife waiting for him. And she said,
"Thank god you're here! I found the milkman dead on the porch this morning!"

A Child's Prayer

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."
The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.
The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."
The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.
Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."
Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

Interview with the 3x Widow (Clean Joke)

A journalist for a local newspaper was an interviewing an old woman who had been married three times before and was about to embark on her fourth marriage at the ripe old age of 90.
**Interviewer**: "Please give me a quick run down of the men you married in the past",
**Old Lady**: "We'll my first husband was the CEO of a bank. He died from a heart attack from stress. God bless him.
My second husband was so much different. He was a circus performer. He could s**... swords, walk a tight rope, and tame lions. Unfortunately, one of the lions wasn't fed one day, and I was single once again.
My third husband was the minister for my past two husbands funerals. I'm happy to say that he passed away peacefully surrounded by his friends and family.
And my soon to be fourth husband is the mortician who buried all three of my former husbands. He has always been there for me and is a kind man. I love him dearly.
**Interviewer**: Wow, that's a quite variety of men. So how would you summarize your love life?
**Old Lady**: Well, I guess you could say, I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.

Tata daddy

One day a father was walking by his sons room and heard him praying. "God bless mommy and daddy and grandma, tata grandpa" he said. The dad was confused but happy to know that his 6 year,old was praying. The next morning he found grandpa dead of a heart attack. That night he listend to his son again. "God bless mommy and daddy tata grandma." As he suspected he found grandma dead of a heart attack. Then that night he listened to his son again."God bless mommy tata daddy" as you can imagine he was freaking out so he went to the docter and came home and found his wife and she said "Thankgoodness your here we found the mailman dead on our porch this morning!"

One evening a father overheard his son saying his prayers "God bless Mommy, Daddy and Grammy. Goodbye Grampa."
Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it.
The next day, the Grandfather died.
A month later the father heard his sony saying prayers again: "God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. Goodbye Grammy."
The next day the grandmother died.
Well, the father was getting more than a little woried about the whole situation.
One week later, the father once again overheard his sons prayers.
"God Bless Mommy. Good bye Daddy."
This nearly gave the father a heart attack.
He didn’t say anything but he got up early to go to work, so that he would miss the traffic.
He stayed all through lunch and dinner.
Finally after midnight he went home.
He was still alive!
When he got home he appologised to his wife.
"I am sorry Honey. I had a very bad day at work today."
"You think you’ve had a bad day? YOU THINK YOU’VE HAD A BAD DAY!?" the wife yelled,
"The mailman dropped dead on my doorstep this morning!"

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these bless your heart jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.