Bleed Jokes

• Short Bleed Jokes
• Bleed One Liners
• Nose Bleed Jokes
• More Bleed Jokes

Funniest Bleed Short Jokes

Short bleed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bleed humour may include short clot jokes also.

1. My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure. So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die.
2. Four facts about women that prove they can do miracles. 1. They can get wet without taking a shower.
   2. Bleed without being hurt.
   3. Producing milk without eating grass.
   4. Making boneless meat hard.
3. A man cuts a hunk of meat from his torso and cooks it in a pan. As he bleeds out, he realises: "I've made a big me-steak"
4. I have bathed in the blood of virgins... Well, I had a nose bleed in the bath this morning.
5. If you don't know how to administer first aid for deadly bleeding, don't worry! All bleeding stops eventually
6. What's the difference between a selfish gay lover and Ebola? They both make you bleed out of the hole, but at least Ebola will finish you off.
   (Cr
7. Women Are Magic The can get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard!
8. Got my second shot today Even after bleeding in captivity for hours, articulately begging the enemy soldiers to spare me.
9. Girls are magic... Girls are magic... They get wet without water, can bleed without injuries and get boneless things hard!
10. Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster than it does today? We would get paid every day, and all women would bleed to death.

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Bleed One Liners

Which bleed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bleed? I can suggest the ones about bloody and drain.

1. What bleeds once a month in the mouth? Me, when I remember to floss once a month.
2. What Has Two Legs and Bleeds Often? Half a horse.
3. What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog
4. what's got 2 legs and bleeds? half a dog.
5. What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a cat.
6. How do you stop a lawyer from bleeding out? Attorney kit.
7. What's got 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half of a cat
8. What do you call a confederate that's bleeding out? A rebel without a gauze
9. Friend just randomly licked my bleeding cut Then they said "no hemo"
10. How do you make an orphans hands bleed Tell them to clap until their parents come home
11. How does a lawyer stop the bleeding?
    With Attorney-kit.
12. I felt like my nose was bleeding. But after checking, it'snot.
13. What happens when you get a really deep paper cut ? You're literary bleeding !
14. What has 2 paws and bleeds a lot? What has 2 paws and bleeds a lot?
    Half a dog.
15. As a man, I bleed once a month too. When I floss.

Nose Bleed Jokes

Here is a list of funny nose bleed jokes and even better nose bleed puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I'm not addicted to video games I just have to play 8 hours a day to stop the shaking and another 4 to stop the nose bleed
• I feel like my nose is bleeding. It's snot though.
• I was doing drugs with my friends and we ran out of coke, so we snorted some estrogen. Now my nose bleeds once a month.
• I thought my nose was bleeding, but it's not
• Ice on your neck can stop nose bleeds But then again, you could get shot, arrested, or die from an overdose.
• A blonde walked into a store.. She got a nose bleed.
• What does the husband say to his wife whose nose is bleeding? Nothing, he already said it twice.
• I asked my friend if his nose was bleeding or not. He told me "it's snot"

Amusing Bleed Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about bleed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wound jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bleed pranks.