bleach Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious bleach puns

What do a cell phone and anal bleach have in common?

They both change your ring tone

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A girl once said to me, "you know, if god intended women to suck dick, he'd have made cum taste like chocolate"

I said "Yeah, but he had to make it taste like bleach so you remember to do the laundry"

- Doug Stanhope

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Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?

Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.

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I was feeling down the other day, so I threw some bleach over my Muslim friend...

I thought it'd lighten Mahmood.

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Progress is amazing. "Whites Only" is in the past

This new color safe bleach is fantastic.

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What do you call a band of albinos

The bleach boys

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back in my day we use to drink bleach straight

boy have the tides turned

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What's the difference between a suicidal ghost hunter and a weaboo alcohol taster?

One drinks bleach and watches spirits; the other drinks spirits and watches Bleach.

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I find it wild that people would use cleaning products on their skeletons.

But to bleach their bone, I guess.

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Free Sex

So this girl came up to me and she said she would have sex with me and all I had to do was advertise some cleaner, but I didn't, because my will is strong, just as strong as Lysol cleaner with bleach. Perfect for killing bacteria in the kitchen, bathroom, and all over the house.

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Nerdy pickup line

Hey baby, are you a compressed file format, because rar.

^^^^^now ^^^^^where ^^^^^did ^^^^^I ^^^^^put ^^^^^the ^^^^^bleach...

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Anal bleach...

For that asshole in your life that just needs to lighten the fuck up...

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If you're ever having trouble with Chemistry, just remember...

Bleach is a solution

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What do you call a dog drenched in bleach?

A basic bitch.


Thank you.

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I bought my friend a coupon for an anal bleach.

Some assholes just need to lighten up.

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What happens when you combine bleach and a girl dog?

You get a basic bitch

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What do a 14 year old and an open bucket of bleach have in common?

For twenty bucks either'll take care of your toddler.

-&y (yup, mine)

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What happens if you drink bleach?

You *basically* die.

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My girlfriend turned out to be a dog entirely made out of bleach

Should have seen the signs, she always acted like a basic bitch.

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How are a gene pool and a swimming pool similar?

Sometimes you have to use bleach to keep it clean.

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The legal system is like bleach,

Works perfectly for whites, but not with colors.

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LPT: Don't waste a bit more money for the brand-name bleach; it isn't any different than the bargain brand

They taste exactly the same

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How does a Jedi wash their clothing?

With midi-chlorine bleach.

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What did Bob Marley say when he spilled bleach on his clothes?

Everything is gonna be all white!

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What do you get when you combine Mr Clean with a 60's surf band?

The Bleach Boys

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Someone once told me to drink bleach to quickly clean me out for a drug test. What an idiot...

The emergency room nurse said I still had drugs in my system when I woke up...

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What do toilets and humans have in common?

You can give them as much crap as you want, but when push comes to shove, bleach makes everything better again.

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How are police and bleach similar?

They're both great at taking out the black.

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Why is bleaching your butt hair,

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What does the spirit say to the dirty counter?

I am the clorax
I speak for the bleach.

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Him: "Well, at least I know you wouldn't in a million years purposely destroy my clothes with bleach." Me: "Yeah, because I'm not crazy."

Him: "No, because it's too much like doing laundry."

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Do you know the worst part about drinking bleach?

It never gets pass the noose.

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Have you heard of bleach?

I hear the taste is to die for.

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So, I asked my younger sister if she knew what bleach was.

"The drink?"

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What is a suicidal Weebs favorite anime?

Bleach.

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What are the most funny Bleach jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Bleach? Well, here are the best Bleach dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Bleach pick up lines to share with friends.

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