Blam Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

I blame my wife's cooking for my weight gain.

Ever since she started cooking I've been eating out more.

A lady walks into a perfumery and asks for the perfumer for his finest fragrance.

"Doobie woobie blue bop", says the perfumer.

Confused she looks around and notices that all of the bottles on the shelves are empty. "Do you keep them in the back?" she asks

"Flim flam flibidy blam", says the perfumer.

The lady sniffs the air, then looks at him strangely and asks, "come to think of it, I can't smell a single thing in here, do you even make perfume?"

"Scooby doo wop, bing bong flam", says the perfumer.

Confused, she leaves the store and on her way out bumps into another customer. She stops him and says, "Don't bother, he doesn't make any scents".

You can't really blame Donald Trump for not believing in Global Warming

He's permanently surrounded by snowflakes.

Why can't we blame all Stingrays for Steve Irwin's death?

Because hating all of them would clearly be an example of Ray-cism.

I blame Mother Earth for all earthquakes.

It's always her fault.

I blame my parents for my apathetic attitude...

... but I don't care.

Jimmy is out hunting with his best buddy Mark

When Mark suddenly clutches his chest and falls to the ground. Thinking quickly Jimmy calls 911.

"My friend just had a heart attack! I think he's dead." he says the operator

"Ok sir, calm down. First check to make sure he's definitely dead. I'll hold."

**\*BLAM***

"Yeah, he's definitely dead."

You really can't blame Pee Wee Herman for what he did...

I mean, it's not like he could just do it at home with all of his furniture watching him..

A guy walks into a perfumery and asks for the perfumer for his finest fragrance.

"Doobie woobie blue bop", says the perfumer.

Confused the guy looks around and notices that all of the bottles on the shelves are empty. "Do you keep them in the back?" he asks

"Flim flam flibidy blam", says the perfumer.

The guy sniffs the air, then looks at him strangely and asks, "come to think of it, I can't smell a single thing in here, do you even make perfume?"

"Scooby doo wop, bing bong flam", says the perfumer.

The guy leaves the store and bumps into another customer on his way in...

"Don't bother", says the guy, "he doesn't make any scents".

I blamed being late for work on Rush Hour...

The next day I blamed it on Rush Hour 2

I don't blame Cat Zingano. I'm sure most men don't last 12 seconds with Rhonda Rousey either.

Don't blame the holidays,

you were fat in August.

I don't blame pedophiles all the time,

After all, there's a child in all of us.

Don't blame Trump for this immigration policy,

Lady Liberty tried to come over from France 130 years ago and they still haven't let her in!

I blame gravity for my education

It's always pulling me down...

So I was going to blame my pet ostrich for a crime i committed

But my lawyer advised that it wouldn't fly in court.

Don't blame me....

I voted for Kodos.



- The Simpsons.

Can't blame Monica Lewinsky for getting her dress dirty...

I'm sure she just didn't see it coming...

Do you know who I blame for the rise of drugs in schools?

The supply teachers.

I blame the telephone company for my absent father.

Me and him never had a good connection.

Everyone would blame Microsoft...

...but looks like Apple can't count either.

What are the funniest blam jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Blam? Well, here are the best Blam puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Blam pick up lines to share with friends.

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