Blacksmith Jokes

What are some Blacksmith jokes?

I bought a dog from a blacksmith this morning...

...within 10 minutes of getting him home he made a bolt for the door.

I bought a dog from a blacksmith

as soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.

The blacksmith hires an apprentice

He instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he's the new village blacksmith

Last Names.

It's commonly known that a lot of last names originate from an ancestor's profession, or what they were known for, hundreds of years ago.
If your last name is Smith, it's likely one of your ancestors was a blacksmith.
If your last name is Cooper, they may have been a cooper, who were known for making barrels.
If your last name is Dickinson I wouldn't delve too deep into your family history.

I adopted a dog that used to be owned by a blacksmith...

As soon as I got him inside, he made a bolt for the door.

my dog is training to be a blacksmith

every now and then he'll make a bolt for the door

A man tries for a job as a blacksmith

"Do you have any experience in horseshoeing?"

"No, but I once told a donkey to f**k off."

I bought a dog from a blacksmith today

Within 10 minutes of being home he'd already made a bolt for the door

I just bought a dog from the town blacksmith

When I took it home, it made a bolt for the door.

The village blacksmith hired an enthusiastic new apprentice

His new apprentice was willing to work long, hard hours.

One day he instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he's the new village blacksmith.

I adopted a dog from a blacksmith today..

First thing he did when i got him home was make a bolt for the door.

Why is a blacksmith called a blacksmith?

A whitesmith wouldn't steel

I tried to be a professional blacksmith for a living...

But I was arrested for forgery.

New dog

So I brought this new dog home that I got from a blacksmith yesterday. As soon as we got home it made a bolt for the door.

I once knew a blacksmith who didnt like metal...

it was ironic.

The most trustworthy knight

A king is about to set out on a journey far away from his home, and must leave his wife behind, but is worried about her faithfulness. He asks the local blacksmith to create a chastity belt that will keep his wife faithful, and so the blacksmith gets to work right away. The blacksmith brings the king a set of metal undergarments with a lock in the back, and a large hole in the front. The king asks why the blacksmith would leave a hole in such a spot. The blacksmith proceeds to get a short stick, and place it in the hole. Immediately, the end of the stick is chopped off by a blade within the hole. The king is impressed, so he leaves on his way after giving the undergarments to his wife. On the day the king returned, he assembled all of his knights in a line, and told them to drop their pants, in order to see who had tried to have their way with his wife. To his displeasure, the king saw that all down the line, every knight had lost his member to the blade, with the exception of one. The king congratulated the knight on his trustworthiness, and asked that he be made the new general in his army. The knight simply shook his head. The king asked again, and again the knight simply shook his head. Confused, the king asked the knight why he refused to accept such an honor, only to have the next knight in line turned to the king and say, "Forgive him, your majesty, he has had trouble speaking since his tongue was chopped off."

I found a stray dog the other day.

I think it's owner was a blacksmith, because as soon as I brought the thing home it made a bolt for the door.

The blacksmith only sold items he crafted himself. Like his father taught him...

He who smelt it, dealt it.

Why was the blacksmiths son sent to detention?

He was caught forging signatures.

A man asks a blacksmith to refine some ore....

The blacksmith says "put the ore on the bench, then beat it. I'll do it once I've finished up at the grindstone". The man says to the blacksmiths assistant "that was rude" and the assistant replies "what can I say, he has an axe to grind".

I think my new dog thinks he is a blacksmith

As soon as I took him inside he made a bolt for the door

Once upon a time, there was a computer

Once upon a time, there was a village idiot. He excelled at doing precisely what he was told to do. However, being an idiot, he never questioned his orders.

His parents convinced the village blacksmith to apprentice the idiot.

The blacksmith explains to the idiot, "Grab a rod with these tongs, and put it on the anvil, and I'll hit it with this hammer." The idiot puts the rod on the anvil OK, but it's at the wrong angle. The blacksmith realizes his instructions were a little vague on that point, and he tries giving clearer directions. But it's no use -- he can't explain it precisely enough for the idiot to hold the rod just right.

So the blacksmith says, "Let's change jobs -- **I'll** position the rod and **you** hit it with the hammer." The instant the blacksmith touches the rod to the anvil, before even he has a chance to position it properly, the idiot starts hammering away at the rod.

Frustrated, the blacksmith thinks to himself -- how can he phrase this so there's NO POSSIBLE WAY the idiot can screw up? Aha!

The blacksmith says: "I am going to put the rod on the anvil -- **do not** hit it. When I nod my head, you hit it."

Dang squirrels

There once was a town that was infested with squirrels. They were everywhere and got into everything. The people of the town hated it especially the miller, the blacksmith, and the priest.

One day the miller decides that enough is enough and lays out some poisoned four to kill the stupid things off. Well his apprentice mixed up the flours and he ended up having to throw out his whole stock of flour and the squirrels remained

Seeing how badly his friend had blundered with his antics, the blacksmith thinks he has a better idea. "I'll roast'm out" he says to himself and proceeds to make his forge extremely hot.... and ends up burning his shop to the ground. the squirrels remained.

The priest being fed up with the squirrels running around and ruining mass gathers up all the squirrels in one place and baptizes every one of them. Now they only come to the church on Christmas and Easter.

What did the blacksmith say to the knight when he delivered the knight's new armor?

You've got mail

An old blacksmith ...

... realised that soon he would not be able to work so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."
Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.

I think my horse is a blacksmith.

I slapped him on the backside and he made a bolt for the door.

My new puppy is an excellent blacksmith...

...every time I yell he makes a bolt for the door!

A Blacksmith in Ancient Palestine asks his Apprentice, "where are the nails?"

Once in Ancient Palestine a Blacksmith walks into his shop one morning to find his apprentice sharpening blades and kindling the forge. As the Blacksmith searched the shelves he couldn't find the nails. He asked his apprentice, "I've been searching for them all morning. Where are the nails?"



The Apprentice looked up solemnly and replied, "They're in God's hands now."

Why are blacksmiths seen as very nosy?

Because the are always metal-ing.

How does a blacksmith know you farted?

He smelt it

"My last name is Smith, because my dad was a blacksmith." "My last name is Fisher, because my dad was a fisherman."

"My last name is Dickinson, and I dont like this game"

Did you hear about the Casino that hired a Blacksmith?

He who smelt it, dealt it.

A jeweler and blacksmith gets married. What do they name their kid?

Jaden Smith

Blacksmith: I've just about finished this sword, just need to work out the kinks.

Sword: I like feet

A miner is selling raw ore...

He's approached by a blacksmith who says, "I'll take it."
The miner questions, "Which one?"
Blacksmith replies," Either ore."

BADUMTISSSS

How to make Blacksmith jokes?

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