Blacks Jokes

What are some Blacks jokes?

One day, Usain Bolt goes into a country club.

When he enters, the woman at the front desk stops him, and says, "Sorry, we don't allow blacks in here. But there's another club 10 minutes down the road that does."

Visibly furious, Bolt exclaims, "Do you know who I am? I'm Usain Bolt!"

"Oh! I'm sorry", says the woman. "Then it's only 5 minutes down the road."

How many blacks does it take to start a riot?

-1

The blacksmith hires an apprentice

He instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he's the new village blacksmith

Why was Martin Luther King so bad at doing laundry?

Because he wouldn't separate the whites from the blacks.

You know, Mexican and Blacks jokes are really starting to bore me.

Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.

Why didn't blacks in 1850 give high-fives?

Because everyone always left them hanging!

So I took a biology test the other day...

One of the questions was, "name two things commonly found in cells."

Apparently, young blacks and latinos was not the right answer.

Did blacks invent rape?

Or did they steal that too?

I took my Biology exam last Friday

I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.

The sun blacks out on a work day & everyone is amazed.

I do it and people say I've "got a problem."

Why is a blacksmith called a blacksmith?

A whitesmith wouldn't steel

What do blacks and apples have in common?

If they're not being sold on a farm they're hanging from a tree.

Da ho, no I didnt.

What's a police officer's favorite Star Wars movie?

The Empire Strikes Blacks

A black man walks into a gun store in Texas.

"I would like to see that glock on the display wall"
"I am sorry sir we are out of stock for those" replied the salesman.
"Ok, show me the one beside it, the rifle"
"We are out of those, as well"

Suspecting the salesman is a racist he goes to a lawyer.
When the lawyer, who is white, walks into the store and asks, "what have you got against blacks..." when he is interrupted.
"Well we have handguns, rifles, shotguns..."

The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech

and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Obama. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."

President Obama says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do."

The Saudi whispers "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, and Blacks, and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek."

President Obama laughs and leans toward the Saudi. "It's because it takes place in the future..."

The blacksmith only sold items he crafted himself. Like his father taught him...

He who smelt it, dealt it.

There are Three Types of People I Hate

Racists, Blacks, and Hypocrites.

Thor gets drunk, blacks out and wakes up next to a man.

Confused, he looks at the man and says, "I AM THOR."

And they guy says, "You think you're thore, my ath is killing me."

Why was the blacksmiths son sent to detention?

He was caught forging signatures.

First they came for the communists

And I did not speak out because I was not a communist.

Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I am not a Jew.

Then they came for the blacks, but I did not speak out because I was not black.

Then they came for the Arabs, but I did not speak out because I am not Arab.

Then they came for the transgendered, but I did not speak out because I am not transgender.

Then they came for the feminists, but I did not speak out because I am not a feminist.

Then they stopped coming for anyone because all the problems were pretty much gone at that point.

What did the blacksmith say to the knight when he delivered the knight's new armor?

You've got mail

There's 2 types of people I hate in this world.

Racists & Blacks.

An old blacksmith ...

... realised that soon he would not be able to work so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."
Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.

How many blacks does it take to have a threesome?

Five.

I like my blacks like I like my yolks

Beaten and separated from the whites

It's true that blacks can be racist too!

But just like everything else in life, whites are always better at it.

A Blacksmith in Ancient Palestine asks his Apprentice, "where are the nails?"

Once in Ancient Palestine a Blacksmith walks into his shop one morning to find his apprentice sharpening blades and kindling the forge. As the Blacksmith searched the shelves he couldn't find the nails. He asked his apprentice, "I've been searching for them all morning. Where are the nails?"



The Apprentice looked up solemnly and replied, "They're in God's hands now."

Why are blacksmiths seen as very nosy?

Because the are always metal-ing.

How come jokes about Blacks and Hispanics aren't funny?

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal

How does a blacksmith know you farted?

He smelt it

Bill Maher- Did you hear what happened at Starbucks?

They ordered two blacks to go.

Mexicans and blacks are a lot alike.

If you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal.

Why did all the blacks survive the holocaust?

Because they had to go to the back of the line

I ordered two tall blacks at Starbucks yesterday.

But they were taken away by the police.

What's the difference between whites and blacks?

They require different laundry machine settings.

What do you call one white man surrounded by 200 blacks and Mexicans?

The Warden

Blacksmith: I've just about finished this sword, just need to work out the kinks.

Sword: I like feet

Why do blacksmiths go to jail?

Forging.

Why couldn't the blacksmith use lead to create the lock?

Because it would have Lead(II) trouble.

A black man, a mexican, and a white man find a magic lamp

Naturally, a genie comes out.

The genie gives each of them one wish, starting with the black man. He tells the genie "Genie, my people all miss Africa and would like to go back and see it one time. I wish all my people in America were back in Africa." And then the genie sent all the blacks to Africa.

The Mexican says "Genie, I feel the same. My people miss their families and the cooking from Mexico, so I wish all of my people in America went back to Mexico." And then the genie sent all the Mexicans back to Mexico.

The white man thinks for a minute, and asks the genie, "So you're telling me that all the black people and all the Mexican people are out of America?" The genie nods, and the white man says "Oh, I'll just have a Coke then."

How did the Blacksmith pick up the red hot 1000° steel cube with just his hands?

He just held it by the cubes corners which were 90°

Newspapers represent real life...

There is both black and white, but blacks are the only ones that get sentences

Why did so many blacks die in Iraq?

Because when the sergeant said, "Get down!", they all started dancing.

A man was applying to be a sheriff's deputy in Alabama.

The sheriff said I have one test, "I give you a gun and you have to shoot 4 blacks and a rabbit".
The man looked a bit confused and asked "why a rabbit?"
The sheriff replied "you're hired".

Blacks the best colour to wear to a funeral isn't it?

Just thinking which rollerblades to wear.

If you're white, you should always get to go ahead first instead of the blacks.

Is one of the first rules of chess.

A protestor shouted, "Trump will make America worse for Gays, Jews, Blacks, Muslims, and Latinos!" A Trump supporter shouted back, "That's not true..."

"...he won't make it worse for Jews!"

Sports

Hockey has the Blues.

Football has the Browns.

Baseball has the Reds.

What does basketball have?

l

l

l

l

l


The Blacks.

My biggest fear is racists.

And blacks.

People have accused me of being racist towards blacks...

I don't see why. I have one hanging on my family tree.

What happens when two blacksmiths get into a fight?

They trade bellows.

What does a young white female pornstar and my laundry have in common?

We're both doing a load of blacks

Rocco - Boondock Saints

Theres a mexican, a black guy and a white guy..
a geenie agrees to grant them each one wish..
the mexican asks for all of his people to be happy and in mexico.
so POOF.. the wish is granted.
the black guy asks for all of his people to be happy and back in africa.
POOF.. the wish is granted.
the geenie finally goes up to the white guy and says, "what will your wish be?"
the white guy says,"you mean to tell me that all of the blacks and mexicans are out of the country?"
the geenie says,"of course! that is what they wished for!"
so the white guy says,"then i guess i will have a coke."

LPT: Drunk Husband, Happy Wife

I'll try to translate as good as i can:

After a long night of drinking a husband and father comes home and blacks out. In the morning he sees his wife and prepares for her being mad but she's all happy and smiling. So he asks his son if he remembers what happened yesterday. "I sure do. You rang the bell for a solid 5 Minutes, then you puked on the floor, went to bed singing Hallelujah and passed out." The husband wondered why his wife was not mad at all and asked if that's all that happened. His son replies: "Well after cleaning up Mum tried to take off your pants and you said: Stop it Lady! I am happily married!"

What does the blacksmith say when his materials are on sale?

"What a steel!"

Two hunters were in the woods

They were on their way back from hunting when one of the hunters suddenly blacks out. The other hunter immediately called 911

911: "911 whats your emergency?"

Hunter: "my friend paased out, I think he is dead!"

911: "Ok, the first think you need to do is make sure he is dead"

The hunter says "ok" and sets the phone down.

*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*

Hunter: "ok, now what?"

Carl Lewis goes to a golf club

The doorman stops him and says, sorry mate, no blacks.

Carl says, "What?"

The doorman has to concede, "Yeah sorry mate, it's a bit unconventional nowadays but this is an all white golf club. But there is another Golf Club about 10 minutes down the road..."Carl: "But I'm Carl Lewis" Doorman: "Alright, 5 minutes down the road then"

Why did so many blacks die in Vietnam?

Every time somebody yelled, "GET DOWN!" they'd get up and dance.

From the turn of the 18th century, to the mid 1960's Blacks and Whites were legally forbidden from entering into interracial marriages. The reasoning behind this restriction?

It produced mixed results.

My Indian colleague asked me if black Friday is some how related to black people, I said yes and its manners to wish them "Happy Blacks Friday".

How to make Blacks jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Blacks to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Blacks? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Blacks pick up lines to share with friends.

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