Blackjack Jokes
56 blackjack jokes and hilarious blackjack puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blackjack that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the funniest side of the game of Blackjack with these hilarious dealer jokes! From jokes about Yahtzee to witty remarks about Madden and the casino, get ready for a good laugh!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Blackjack Short Jokes
Short blackjack jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blackjack humour may include short black jack jokes also.
- TIL that after starring in 21 Kevin Spacey tried to play Blackjack professionally and lost all of his money. Kept hitting on 17.
- Kevin Spacey is trying to get a new position in vegas,... Blackjack Dealer
Because they hit on anything under 17. - While playing blackjack at my local casino, the pit boss came up to me and asked what the count was. I replied "he's a purple Muppet with pointy teeth, but that's not important right now."
- I've just opened a casino for dogs where they can play roulette, poker blackjack etc... They'll have to go outside for craps though.
- Hear about the man who needed to use his fingers and toes to count to 20? He was thrown out of the casino when he pulled his pants down while playing blackjack
- A 17 in blackjack is like a mother in law Sometimes you want to hit it, but it's probably smarter not to.
- My first day at the casino I was late for work, my boss yelled at me, and they put me at a Blackjack table with no cards. I looked at all the players and said "I can't deal with this. "
- Marriage is like blackjack Marriage is like blackjack. You can either hit or stay, but you can't do both
- I took my masochistic girlfriend to the casino, but she lost all my money. She kept screaming Hit me! at the blackjack table.
- I play women like I play Blackjack I know I should be aiming for 21 but I always end up hitting on 14.
Share These Blackjack Jokes With Friends
Blackjack One Liners
Which blackjack one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blackjack? I can suggest the ones about poker and casino.
- Girls are like blackjack… I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14.
- Why was Kevin Spacey so good at Blackjack? He knew to hit on everything under 17
- My dad is a blackjack dealer. He hit me until I was 21.
- Girl's are like blackjack I'm always hoping for 21 but I keep hitting on 14.
- I didn't realize I was addicted to blackjack... Until I turned 21.
- How does a blackjack dealer sneak about? He shuffles a round.
- She was a 15 in blackjack... Meaning not sure if you should hit it or not
- Girls are like blackjack I'm always shooting for 21 but end up hitting on 16
- Blackjack is just like my love life I always hit on 15
- Why wouldn't R. Kelly make a good blackjack dealer? He hits on 17
- You know why I love blackjack? because I can hit on 13
- BlackJack Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Cuz Jack just stole that candlestick - What do Dating & Blackjack Have In Common? I always hit on a soft twelve.
- Did you hear about the fish that played blackjack? The smelt. It dealt it.
- What's the Irishs favorite blackjack option? Dublin down.
Blackjack Dealer Jokes
Here is a list of funny blackjack dealer jokes and even better blackjack dealer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A blackjack dealer left his wife behind at their marriage counseling appointment... he just couldn't deal with it anymore
Amusing Blackjack Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about blackjack you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roulette jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blackjack pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the card dealer say to the table of 16 year old girls? Blackjack is just like my s**.
.. life, I always hit on 16.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Albert Einstein, John F Kennedy and God are on holiday
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Albert Einstein, John F Kennedy and God are on holiday
at the Kennedy compound on Cape Cod.
One a rainy afternoon Einstein suggests they play a game.
So they get out the card table and setup. God suggests Poker, Einstein 500 and Kennedy Blackjack.
After a ten minutes of arguments, Schwarzenegger says "Why don't we just play Yahtzee?"
At that God gets up and storms out.
Kennedy turns to Einstein and ask "What was that about?"
Einstein says "God does not play dice with Mr Universe"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's this shopkeeper named John...
His business is doing beautifully. One day, a heavenly voice calls out to him, "John, sell your shop."
He says, "What?"
"John. Sell your shop."
John, not going to question a heavenly voice calling out to him, does so for several hundred thousand dollars. Then, "John, go to Vegas."
John has no idea what this is leading to but goes to a casino in Vegas anyway. "Go to a Blackjack table." Ok. He goes to the nearest Blackjack table. "Put all of the shop's money on this next hand." John, confident in the voice, puts down all of his money in this next hand.
John is dealt a 19 with the dealer showing a 6. It looks good for John. Then, "Take a hit, John."
"But-"
"Take a hit, John."
John hits. An ace turns up. 20. John's going to win. "Take another hit."
John gets really nervous. "Take another hit." John takes the hit. He can't even bare to watch. The card comes down. He opens his eyes. 21.
The voice exclaims,"Un-f**...-believable!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Blackjack dealer is arrested for p**......
He will hit on anything 16 and under.
Jared Fogle Does Standup
Jared Says:
"Girls are like Blackjack....I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14."
Then he tweets about it with #Footlong.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do 2 bit gamblers never win at blackjack ?
Because they can only count to 3.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... is like the opposite of blackjack.
You don't hit when it's under 17.
How much did the vet gamble at the blackjack table?
He put down a pony.
Kevin Spacey really was the perfect casting choice for that blackjack movie
Since he seems to like to hit on 14
I called the Blackjack helpline.
A voice answered and said, "You got the wrong number."
I lost my friends after a heated game of Blackjack.
In hindsight, improvising with a Tarot deck was probably a bad idea.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Women are like blackjack...
I'm trying for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
Why does the man always hit on 16 when he plays Blackjack?
'Cause he knows 15 will get him 20.
I once got arrested for playing blackjack on a construction crane
Apparently the police doesn't like high-jacking
