Blackjack Jokes

58 blackjack jokes and hilarious blackjack puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blackjack that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the funniest side of the game of Blackjack with these hilarious dealer jokes! From jokes about Yahtzee to witty remarks about Madden and the casino, get ready for a good laugh!

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Funniest Blackjack Short Jokes

Short blackjack jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blackjack humour may include short black jack jokes also.

  1. TIL that after starring in 21 Kevin Spacey tried to play Blackjack professionally and lost all of his money. Kept hitting on 17.
  2. Kevin Spacey is trying to get a new position in vegas,... Blackjack Dealer
    Because they hit on anything under 17.
  3. While playing blackjack at my local casino, the pit boss came up to me and asked what the count was. I replied "he's a purple Muppet with pointy teeth, but that's not important right now."
  4. I've just opened a casino for dogs where they can play roulette, poker blackjack etc... They'll have to go outside for craps though.
  5. Why can't Kevin Spacey win at blackjack (despite his role in "21")? He keeps hitting on 17.
  6. Hear about the man who needed to use his fingers and toes to count to 20? He was thrown out of the casino when he pulled his pants down while playing blackjack
  7. A 17 in blackjack is like a mother in law Sometimes you want to hit it, but it's probably smarter not to.
  8. My first day at the casino I was late for work, my boss yelled at me, and they put me at a Blackjack table with no cards. I looked at all the players and said "I can't deal with this. "
  9. We should really use the blackjack scale to rate women. For example:
    "Every girl here is ugly"
    "Well, what about her? "
    "Eh, she's like a 15 or 16. Not sure if I'd hit it"
  10. Marriage is like blackjack Marriage is like blackjack. You can either hit or stay, but you can't do both

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Blackjack One Liners

Which blackjack one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blackjack? I can suggest the ones about poker and jacks.

  1. Girls are like blackjack… I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14.
  2. Why was Kevin Spacey so good at Blackjack? He knew to hit on everything under 17
  3. My dad is a blackjack dealer. He hit me until I was 21.
  4. Girl's are like blackjack I'm always hoping for 21 but I keep hitting on 14.
  5. Why are Blackjack players like paedophiles? They aim for 21 but hit on anything below 12
  6. I didn't realize I was addicted to blackjack... Until I turned 21.
  7. How does a blackjack dealer sneak about? He shuffles a round.
  8. She was a 15 in blackjack... Meaning not sure if you should hit it or not
  9. Girls are like blackjack I'm always shooting for 21 but end up hitting on 16
  10. Blackjack is just like my love life I always hit on 15
  11. Why wouldn't R. Kelly make a good blackjack dealer? He hits on 17
  12. You know why I love blackjack? because I can hit on 13
  13. Why do women make terrible blackjack players? Because nobody can hit them.
  14. BlackJack Jack be nimble
    Jack be quick
    Cuz Jack just stole that candlestick
  15. What do Dating & Blackjack Have In Common? I always hit on a soft twelve.

Blackjack Dealer Jokes

Here is a list of funny blackjack dealer jokes and even better blackjack dealer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A blackjack dealer left his wife behind at their marriage counseling appointment... he just couldn't deal with it anymore
  • A Blackjack dealer is arrested for p**...... He will hit on anything 16 and under.
  • What did the card dealer say to the table of 16 year old girls? Blackjack is just like my s**... life, I always hit on 16.
Blackjack joke

Amusing Blackjack Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about blackjack you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean casino jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blackjack pranks.

My blackjack game is a lot like my s**... life.

I always hit on 16.

Jared Fogle Does Standup

Jared Says:
"Girls are like Blackjack....I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14."
Then he tweets about it with #Footlong.

s**... is like the opposite of blackjack.

You don't hit when it's under 17.

What's the Irishs favorite blackjack option?

Dublin down.

How much did the vet gamble at the blackjack table?

He put down a pony.

Kevin Spacey really was the perfect casting choice for that blackjack movie

Since he seems to like to hit on 14

I play women like I play Blackjack

I know I should be aiming for 21 but I always end up hitting on 14.

I took my masochistic girlfriend to the casino, but she lost all my money.

She kept screaming Hit me! at the blackjack table.

Did you hear about the fish that played blackjack?

The smelt. It dealt it.

Why was the farmer so worried when his cows started smoking w**... and bet his whole farm playing blackjack?

Because the steaks are high!

I called the Blackjack helpline.

A voice answered and said, "You got the wrong number."

I lost my friends after a heated game of Blackjack.

In hindsight, improvising with a Tarot deck was probably a bad idea.

Dating is a lot like blackjack...

I'm trying to get 21, but I'm always hitting on 14.

Blackjack joke, While playing blackjack at my local casino, the pit boss came up to me and asked what the count was.

jokes about blackjack