Black Tie Jokes
30 black tie jokes and hilarious black tie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about black tie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Black Tie Short Jokes
Short black tie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The black tie humour may include short suit tie jokes also.
- I was invited to a party... 'Black tie only' was written on the invitation card. When I got there, I noticed that other people worn shirts and pants, too.
- My friend once got an invite to a party that said "black tie only" But when he got there, everyone else was in tuxedos.
- My teacher told me to tuck my shirt in. I said, "Why?"
"Because it *looks* like you've just had s**...," he said, zipping his trouser. - I got an invitation to a black-tie-only wedding But when i showed up everyone were wearing tuxedos
- Knock, knock! Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Fornication.
Fornication who?
Fornication like this you should wear a black tie. - It said :"Only black ties" on the wedding invitation card. But when I arrived, I saw people wearing suits too.
- My ex husband cheated during our wedding reception I guess it really was a black tie affair
- A Nigerian prince secretly orders a 2nd wife over the internet from Thailand. The wedding was a black-tie affair
- Why could nobody win a dance off at the annual African American ball? Because it was a black tie event
- Did you hear about the golf match between the black golfer and white golfer from South Africa? Birdie on the last hole would have won the match for the black golfer, but a par tied.
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Black Tie One Liners
Which black tie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with black tie? I can suggest the ones about neck tie and suit and tie.
- If a black guy ties his dad to a large boomerang and throws them away will they return?
- How to black people tie their shoes? They don't. There's no laces in prison.
- Why don't black people commit s**...? Because they can never tie the knot
- What's black and shiny and trashes about the floor A baby t**... in a trash bag
Black Tie Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about black tie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bow tie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make black tie pranks.
There were two farmers who each had a horse in the same field
In order to tell them apart they had a little rubber band tied round one of the horse's tails. every day they would come to the field and feel up and down the horses' tails until they found the rubber band.
One day they lost the rubber band and didn't know what to do. Then one farmer said to the other, "I know what we'll do. I'll take the black horse and you take the white one."
I saw a black man walking with a TV...
...I thought, "Hey, that's mine!!"
But then I remembered, mine was t**... in the backyard.
Oogaly Boogaly
A white man, Chinese man and a black man were in Africa doing research when they were captured by a tribe. First, they were tied to stakes. The chief then walked up to the white man and asked, death or oogaly boogaly. The white man thought, I don't want to die, I'll take oogaly boogaly. So the chief loosened his ropes, took him to the edge of the forest, within sight of the other two and all of the tribesmen r**... him. The chief then asked the Chinese man, death or oogaly boogaly? the Chinese man thought, remembered the screems of the white man, but didn't want to die. So he said, 'oogaly boogaly'. So the chief loosened his ropes, took him to the edge of the forest and all of the tribesmen r**... him. Then the chief walked up to the black man and asked 'death, or oogaly boogaly?' The black man said, naw man, just give me death.' The chief said 'OK, death, by oogaly boogaly!
The best way to avoid getting bitten by a black widow...
...is not wearing a red tie to her Crip husband's f**....
On the day of my big job interview I woke up late.
Frantically I threw on a suit.
"OH NO!" I thought. "MY TIE! My Dad was out of town and wasn't there to help me, and for the life of me, I did not know how to tie a tie!"
I grabbed a tie and ran out the door.
"Excuse me sir," I said to the crossing guard, "I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!"
"Sure," said the guard, "just lie down on this bench."
Well if someone was going to help me I wasn't going to ask any questions.
After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down.
"Well in my previous job I learned how to tie ties on other people when they were lying down." he replied.
"What was your previous job?" I asked incredulously.
"I ran a morgue." was the reply.
How would you know who is a billionaire in a black tie event?
Look for the dude wearing a T-shirt, jeans and sneakers
While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out.
"Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."
A newlywed couple go on an African safari...
They come upon an indigenous people most notably characterized by their unusually long p**....
Noticing his wife's amusement, he decides to ask the tour guide for some pointers.
"For one year, during their youth, they tie on a heavy rock and don't remove it, " says the guide.
Now, back at home, the man decides to give it a go..
A week later the wife excitedly asks, "How's my big man? Any luck?"
The man replies, "Its not any longer, but it has turned black."
I got invited to a charity ball for victims of domestic violence.
The dress code was black tie
A black guy sees an ad in the paper...
...that says, "Come and enjoy a relaxing afternoon floating down the river followed by a champagne party!" Well, the guy thinks this sounds pretty good and so heads on down to the marina. But as soon as he gets there, 3 white guys jump out of the bushes. They s**... him n**..., tie him to a log and throw him in.
So he's floating along, pondering his predicament, when he spots a p**... who's also n**... and tied to a log.
He says to the p**..., "I bet we don't get champagne, either!"
The p**... says, "We didn't last year."
Why aren't pigs invited to black tie events?
Haven't you ever seen pig's tie? It's filthy!
What is the easiest way to kill a gaggle of black men?
Tie watermelons to the bottom of a lake