Following is our collection of Black jokes which are very funny. There are some black asian jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these black black or white puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
You have to say
Leroy, please paint that wall
"Mister President, we've been over this..."
you clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation
We do it in schools, because we have class.
Because they don't have access to black magic.
I said "Sir, this is 2019. You can use any printer you want".
All Fridays matter.
A Swallow.
-1
It started right up, they said I just need to replace the battery.
It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something.
You can explore black brown reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean black yo mama so black dad jokes. There are also black puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I mean, I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone.
The butcher replies: "Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!"
The police.
Inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen, just one more test before you get the job.
Take this gun, go out and shoot six black guys and a rabbit."
Guy replies "Why the rabbit?"
Inspector says "Fantastic attitude, you've got the job!"
He got shot down
The car started right up but they said I'd need a new battery.
I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing.
A couple have 13 children, 12 of them are blonde and have blue eyes, 1 has black hair and brown eyes, his name is Peter. One day the wife of the couple is dying of illness, her husband is sitting on her bed. The husband says "Our Peter is different from the other kids, does he have a different father?" His wife says yes. And, the man says, "Then, who is his dad?" Upon which his wife says, "You".
Oh the irony.
An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football team, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.
At the end of a night out on the town, a girl takes a black guy back to her house.
They're kissing and moving towards her bedroom when she looks at him with the most flirtatious eyes she can muster and says: "Is it true what they say about black guys? ;)"
To which the man responded "Of course it is baby.", stabbed her, stole her wallet and left.
black people would rob me
That means the entire country went black and successfully went back.
the same way you would a white person.... you racist.
A girl says to her friend "The last time I had sex was like the 100 meter dash"
Her friend says "What, over in 6 seconds?"
"No, with 8 black men and a gun."
Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".
Now it just doesn't work.
"I'm proud to be a black man!" said the black man.
"I'm proud to be an Asian man!" said the Asian man.
"I'm proud to be a white man!" said the racist.
Cause he is our father, and he never came back.
A threesome
Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
Nothing, they just waved.
(Sorry)
I said, "Dude, it's 2016 you can use any printer you want."
Because orange is the new black.
the line at KFC
Now it doesn't work.
Then I painted my computer white so it would work.
Now the whole system is corrupt.
They can finally legally own a black person again.
is because I don't like meeting dads.
A boy asks his dad "Why do they say gardeners have green thumbs,when their thumbs are not green?"
The dad replies,"It's just a saying son,It's like when somebody is caught stealing,they say they have been caught 'red handed',even though their hands is black."
A black guy and a white girl are at a party. After a while they go together to a room, and she asks excited: "Show me if what they say about black men is true". He grabs her purse and runs
A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist.
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black? The dad replies, Why do you want to know, son? Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!
I got charged with impersonating a Police Officer.
I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read.
Because black men always get a longer sentence
The autistic man orders a shot, but the black man gets it instead
The right way to say it is "Tyrone, please paint the wall"
The bystander with the camera.
The police told us to stay inside until they shot him
So they prayed and asked him. A booming voice from the heavens answered "I am what I am." One kid said, "Well, I guess he's white." The other said, "How can you tell?" "Well, if he was black, he would've answered, 'I is what I is.'"
But I guess I'll take a shot at it.
That shows how racist America still is.
Just because he's black, doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone
Thanks Frankie Boyle
"Jake, you can't call yourself Black just because you went to jail once. That is racist"
That way I wouldn't have to deal with all the dad jokes
... says "I'm looking for a job!"
The bank manager says, "Well, you're in luck! We have a position opening tomorrow that pays $48,000 a year and has access to a free car!"
The black guy says "You're joking."
The bank manager says "Well, you started it!"
The mom replies, "Listen, the way I remember that party you're lucky you don't bark."
In an explosion.
The officer says, "This is the best résumé I've ever seen! There's just one more test before you get the job. Take this gun, go out and shoot eight black guys and a cat."
Guy replies "Why the cat?"
Officer says "Great attitude, you're hired!"
...She takes him by the hand to the bedroom and winks at him and says: "why don't you show me if what they say about black guys is true." So he stabs her and steals her TV.
P.S: don't worry, it's ok for me to make such jokes because I'm racist.
It's great. Really pulls the room together.
They charged me with impersonating a police officer.
None. "He fell".
The Black Plague
a black guy would probably rob me.
Two. One to beat the room for being black and one to arrest the bulb for being broke.
There were 8 black guys and a gun
Swallows.
Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
"Why do you ask?" asks the Dad.
The boy says, "Well, a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I want to haggle him down to $100, or just steal it."
Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.
Every week at our meetings there's always tons of black people hanging around.
I laughed, "Over in 9.5 seconds?"
"No," she said,
"Eight black men and a gun."
He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.
His dad replies, "It's just a saying, son. It's like when someone is caught stealing something, they say that they've been caught red-handed', even though their hands are actually black."
then I realized that was just a stereo type
But white people can say things that black people can't. Like, "Thanks for the
warning officer," and "Hi dad."
An ambulance you racist.
The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom.
I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while being screwed.
"How did you die?" Jane asks Erica.
She replies, "I froze to death."
"Oh, that's terrible!" says Jane.
"It wasn't too bad, after a while you start to get a sort of peaceful feeling, just before you black out. How did you die?"
"Well," she says, "I suspected my husband was cheating so one day I came home early to catch him, but he was just watching TV. So I turned the entire house upside-down looking for another girl, and in the end I got a massive heart attack from exhaustion."
"Too bad you didnt look in the freezer," said Erica, "Or we might both still be alive."
There is a huge sign on wall that says "Colored People Not Allowed."
The man takes a seat and a white man comes over in a hurry and says, " Excuse me son, we don't serve colored people in this restaurant. Im going to have to ask you to leave."
The black man smiles, looks at the white man and says, "Sir, when I was born I was black, when I am sick I'm black, when I'm cold I'm black, when I'm angry I'm black and when I sad I'm black.
But you, sir, when you're born you're pink, when you're sick you are green, when you're cold you turn blue and when you're angry you turn red.
And you have the nerve to call me colored!"
I had them meet my new black girlfriend and they all started screaming at us. Especially my wife.
J1: "Black is a color!"
J2: "NO! it is not!"
J1: "It is a color!"
J2: "Rabbi, is black a color?"
Rabbi: "Well, sure..."
J1: "See, I told you. And so is white!"
J2: "White is not a color!"
J1: "Rabbi?"
Rabbi: "Well, yes, white is a color"
J1: "See, I told you Moishe, I sold you a *color* TV"
and Chinese people like listening to music on their phones with earbuds, black people like portable speakers, Mexicans prefer cheaper systems in their home with big speakers and white people like higher end but compact systems...
Sorry, I guess I shouldn't be discussing racial stereo types.
It will be night time.
Strong.
You thought I was gonna say black didn't you, ya son of a bitch
Looks like orange is the new black
Orange is the New Black.
"What can I get you Senators?"
"Just ice," they replied.
a gold digger. Ya think im racist
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the black negroes jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working black lewis black piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.