black Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious black puns

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.

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"You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!"

"Mister President, we've been over this..."

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If you aren't impressed with the picture of the first Black Hole

you clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation

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Do all black people have a problem with slavery ?

Or just mine ?

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White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do.

We do it in schools, because we have class.

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If the Klu Klux Klan leaders are wizards, why don't they cast a spell to kill all those that oppose them?

Because they don't have access to black magic.

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A black guy in an library asked me where the colored printer was

I said "Sir, this is 2019. You can use any printer you want".

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I don't know what the big deal is about Black Friday.

All Fridays matter.

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I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint

You have to say

Leroy, please paint that wall

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My black friend and I were in the library when he asked where the coloured printer was.

I said, "Shit, man, it's 2018. You can use whatever printer you want."

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A redneck went to the hospital

A redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having their babies. Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said "congratulations, your wife has had quintuplets, 5 big baby boys."

The redneck said "I am not surprised. I have a penis the size of a chimney." The nurse replied "you might want to get it cleaned because they are all black."

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If I had a dollar for every racist thing I said

a black guy would probably rob me.

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A black guy in a library asked me where the colored printer was

I replied, "Dude, it's 2017, you can use any printer you want."

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Only 1300's kids will get this..

The Black Plague

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I think my family is racist...

when I brought my black girlfriend home to meet them, my wife and daughter wouldn't even talk to her!

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I got arrested for killing a black man.

They charged me with impersonating a police officer.

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I used to think all black people had boomboxes

then I realized that was just a stereo type

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I put a black hole in my living room.

It's great. Really pulls the room together.

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A guy applies for a job with the L.A.P.D.

Inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen, just one more test before you get the job.
Take this gun, go out and shoot six black guys and a rabbit."

Guy replies "Why the rabbit?"

Inspector says "Fantastic attitude, you've got the job!"

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Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race.

He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.

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What do you call a black man that's just been hit by a bus?

An ambulance you racist.

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I don't understand why everyone thinks the KKK are racist.

Every week at our meetings there's always tons of black people hanging around.

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Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election?

Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

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If I got $1 every time somebody called me a racist

black people would rob me

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Pretty soon the only place you will be able to buy a Confederate flag will be the black market.

Oh the irony.

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A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar

Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."

The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."

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I work in a library and a black guy asked me if there are any coloured printers...

I said, "Dude, it's 2016 you can use any printer you want."

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I painted my computer black so it would run faster.

Now it doesn't work.

Then I painted my computer white so it would work.

Now the whole system is corrupt.

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Sometimes I just wish I was black.

That way I wouldn't have to deal with all the dad jokes

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If the next president is white....

That means the entire country went black and successfully went back.

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Why did Obama get two terms?

Because black men always get a longer sentence

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What's big, black and loaded with aids?

A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist.

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There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night

The police told us to stay inside until they shot him

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As a cop, I don't know how to deal with black people...

But I guess I'll take a shot at it.

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My black friend asked me...

My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library I said wtf man it's 2015 you can use whatever printer you want

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What are the most funny Black jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Black? Well, here are the best Black dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Black pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes