Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Black puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.
"Mister President, we've been over this..."
you clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation
We do it in schools, because we have class.
Because they don't have access to black magic.
I said "Sir, this is 2019. You can use any printer you want".
All Fridays matter.
You have to say
Leroy, please paint that wall
a black guy would probably rob me.
The Black Plague
when I brought my black girlfriend home to meet them, my wife and daughter wouldn't even talk to her!
They charged me with impersonating a police officer.
then I realized that was just a stereo type
It's great. Really pulls the room together.
Inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen, just one more test before you get the job.
Take this gun, go out and shoot six black guys and a rabbit."
Guy replies "Why the rabbit?"
Inspector says "Fantastic attitude, you've got the job!"
He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.
An ambulance you racist.
Every week at our meetings there's always tons of black people hanging around.
Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
black people would rob me
Oh the irony.
Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
I said, "Dude, it's 2016 you can use any printer you want."
Now it doesn't work.
Then I painted my computer white so it would work.
Now the whole system is corrupt.
That way I wouldn't have to deal with all the dad jokes
That means the entire country went black and successfully went back.
Because black men always get a longer sentence
A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist.
The police told us to stay inside until they shot him
But I guess I'll take a shot at it.
A girl says to her friend "The last time I had sex was like the 100 meter dash"
Her friend says "What, over in 6 seconds?"
"No, with 8 black men and a gun."
The car started right up but they said I'd need a new battery.
They can finally legally own a black person again.
Nothing, they just waved.
(Sorry)
"Jake, you can't call yourself Black just because you went to jail once. That is racist"
I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing.
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black? The dad replies, Why do you want to know, son? Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!
The butcher replies: "Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!"
None. "He fell".
The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom.
I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while being screwed.
I laughed, "Over in 9.5 seconds?"
"No," she said,
"Eight black men and a gun."
is because I don't like meeting dads.
A threesome
The police.
A Swallow.
Cause he is our father, and he never came back.
It started right up, they said I just need to replace the battery.
A black guy and a white girl are at a party. After a while they go together to a room, and she asks excited: "Show me if what they say about black men is true". He grabs her purse and runs
A boy asks his dad "Why do they say gardeners have green thumbs,when their thumbs are not green?"
The dad replies,"It's just a saying son,It's like when somebody is caught stealing,they say they have been caught 'red handed',even though their hands is black."
I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read.
It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something.
the line at KFC
In an explosion.
the same way you would a white person.... you racist.
I started dating a black girl recently, so I decided to bring her home to meet the family.
The kids wouldn't talk to her and my wife told me to pack my bags and leave.
-1
"I'm proud to be a black man!" said the black man.
"I'm proud to be an Asian man!" said the Asian man.
"I'm proud to be a white man!" said the racist.
His dad replies, "It's just a saying, son. It's like when someone is caught stealing something, they say that they've been caught red-handed', even though their hands are actually black."
I got charged with impersonating a Police Officer.
Now it just doesn't work.
Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.
Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".
I mean, I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone.
There were 8 black guys and a gun
Because orange is the new black.
At the end of a night out on the town, a girl takes a black guy back to her house.
They're kissing and moving towards her bedroom when she looks at him with the most flirtatious eyes she can muster and says: "Is it true what they say about black guys? ;)"
To which the man responded "Of course it is baby.", stabbed her, stole her wallet and left.
The autistic man orders a shot, but the black man gets it instead
...She takes him by the hand to the bedroom and winks at him and says: "why don't you show me if what they say about black guys is true." So he stabs her and steals her TV.
P.S: don't worry, it's ok for me to make such jokes because I'm racist.
He got shot down
The bystander with the camera.
The right way to say it is "Tyrone, please paint the wall"
Two. One to beat the room for being black and one to arrest the bulb for being broke.
The mom replies, "Listen, the way I remember that party you're lucky you don't bark."
A couple have 13 children, 12 of them are blonde and have blue eyes, 1 has black hair and brown eyes, his name is Peter. One day the wife of the couple is dying of illness, her husband is sitting on her bed. The husband says "Our Peter is different from the other kids, does he have a different father?" His wife says yes. And, the man says, "Then, who is his dad?" Upon which his wife says, "You".
... says "I'm looking for a job!"
The bank manager says, "Well, you're in luck! We have a position opening tomorrow that pays $48,000 a year and has access to a free car!"
The black guy says "You're joking."
The bank manager says "Well, you started it!"
But white people can say things that black people can't. Like, "Thanks for the
warning officer," and "Hi dad."
The officer says, "This is the best résumé I've ever seen! There's just one more test before you get the job. Take this gun, go out and shoot eight black guys and a cat."
Guy replies "Why the cat?"
Officer says "Great attitude, you're hired!"
"Why do you ask?" asks the Dad.
The boy says, "Well, a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I want to haggle him down to $100, or just steal it."
So they prayed and asked him. A booming voice from the heavens answered "I am what I am." One kid said, "Well, I guess he's white." The other said, "How can you tell?" "Well, if he was black, he would've answered, 'I is what I is.'"
When Barack Obama gives his speech, he stands behind a bulletproof glass . That shows how racist America still is.
Just because he's black, doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone
Thanks Frankie Boyle
Swallows.
Because then it would be called "Solved."
He turns up and walks into the clubhouse to get his membership and play a round.
The receptionist says 'Sorry Sir, we don't allow black people in this golf club.'
'That is ridiculous, its 2014 and you don't allow black people in your golf club?'
'Please don't make a scene Sir, there is another gold club 5 minutes down the road and they will let you in.'
'But I'm Usain Bolt!'
'OK then, 2 minutes.'
She doesn't want to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.