Bits Jokes

102 bits jokes and hilarious bits puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bits that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the funniest two bits, bits and bytes, wreath, teeth, and smother jokes out there in this collection of short and funny one-liners. Guaranteed to make you laugh!

Best Short Bits Jokes

Short bits jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bits humour may include short bytes jokes also.

  1. I arrived early to the restaurant. The manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said no. Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
  2. Why was my post removed? Can anyone tell me why my post was removed?
    I'm a bit annoyed by this because my fence has fallen over.
  3. What's the difference between a tea bag and the German football team? A tea bag stays in the cup for longer...
    Bit of British humour right there ;)
  4. My dentist told me "This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?" I said "Yes, I'm ready."
    He said "I'm sleeping with your wife."
  5. When receiving payment in gold coins, pirates used to verify their purity by biting into them In other word, criminals only accepting payment in bit coins goes long way back
  6. Reddit's logo should be a bit more green. To symbolize the amount of reused and recycled content.
  7. If online bullying has taught us anything. It's that some kids would rather kill themselves than lose a bit of weight.
  8. My girlfriends parents are very religious. The first time I was at their house her father said we weren't allowed to sleep together. It was a bit of a shame, he was very attractive.
  9. I just watched a movie about a y=x graph The plot was a bit predictable
    And a little flat
    Good special f(x) though
  10. My wife says the salad I make tend to be a bit on the dry side. It's definitely something that needs addressing.

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Bits joke, My wife says the <a href="/salad-jokes.html" title="Salad jokes">salad</a> I make tend to be a bit o

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about bits can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of bits puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Bits One Liners

Which bits one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bits? I can suggest the ones about ties and bins.

  1. Alright guys, the Suez Canal jokes are getting a bit old now. That ship has sailed.
  2. i think the story of noah's life was a bit boring But it did have a nice arc
  3. What are the two problems with the french flag? The red bit and the blue bit.
  4. (Programmer) What did 0 say to 1? You're a bit too much.
  5. My wife and I are both feminists But I'm a man so I'm a bit better than her at it
  6. I was feeling a bit lonely so I bought some stock Now I have a bit of company.
  7. It's pretty easy to stop women from eating tide pods But it's a bit harder to deter gents
  8. How did a bit travel from the CPU to the HDD? It took the bus.
  9. 10101 = 20 Sorry, I'm a bit high right now.
  10. Mosquito bit me 8 times. Mosquito byte.
  11. I cut my pizza into 7 bits I haven't had a byte yet
  12. Can anyone show me how to use WD-40? I'm a bit rusty.
  13. Why was 00000111 afraid of 00001000 Because 8-bit 9
  14. Heres a bit of advice: advi
  15. I don't like my computer memory. Not one bit.

Two Bits Jokes

Here is a list of funny two bits jokes and even better two bits puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I just saw that Harry Potter film. I think its a bit unrealistic if you ask me.. I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends? How?
  • Two cannibals were eating an entitled kid One says to the other," Does this taste a bit spoiled?"
  • I watched the Harry Potter films for the first time at the weekend They were okay, but a bit unrealistic: a ginger schoolkid with two friends?
  • Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer One of them says. "Hey man doesn't this taste a bit funny".
    The other cannibal says. "Nope".
  • Two snakes are hanging out, when one asks the other... "Hey, are we venomous?"
    The other snake replies, "I'm not sure."
    "Well I hope not," the first snake says, "cus I just bit my tongue."
  • What’s a normal day like in the life of Sean Lock? It’s just eight hours of sleep, six hours of hiding, two hours of regret and apologies, one hour of scratching… and then a bit of telly.
  • I might seem perfect... I know that I might seem perfect, but one of my legs is actually a tiny bit shorter than the other two.
  • I went to a bar last night and I was a bit disappointed that the 2 bartenders didn't greet me. I guess my expectations were two hi.
  • What are you looking at when you see two homeless dudes hitting each other with bits of cardboard? A pillow fight.
  • A Two-Fer: How is an onion different from a baby? Answer 1: Onions don't scream when you peel off their skin.
    Answer 2: I tear up a little bit when I'm chopping up onions.

Bits And Bytes Jokes

Here is a list of funny bits and bytes jokes and even better bits and bytes puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife is a computer geek and wants to name our son "one eighth of a byte" So I said "Really honey? Don't you think that's a bit...?"
  • ChatGPT walks into a bar, orders a byte, a nibble, and a bit. The bartender serves them and says, "You must be single and still looking for your perfect match."
  • What did the owner say about their 7 bit dog Don't worry, he doesn't byte
  • Computer Science joke: After you've been bit 8 times by a mosquito does that been you have a mosquito byte? Not understanding this joke is what causes malaria.
  • What did the byte do to keep each of his bits safe? He had to a-lock-eight into memory.
    -This is an original, hope you all enjoy.
  • I was attacked by wild bunnies who bit me 8 times Luckily the doctor who helped me only charged me for one byte
  • What are 8 Nougat-Bits? One Nougat-Byte
  • So two bits... grab a byte at the space bar.
  • My wife bit me during s**... last night, and asked me to byte her... I bit her eight times
Bits joke, My wife bit me during s**... last night, and asked me to byte her...

Witty Bits Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about bits you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean digits jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make bits prank.

Do you know how they manufacture minuscule drill bits?

A little bit at a time.

A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train.

When it happened, he was chuffed to bits!

A new spin on an old cliché

I was sitting on a team call for work. We were discussing team restructuring. The question was asked about team leaders.
My boss said, "The cream will rise to the surface."
I replied, "So will the foam. The insubstantial, shiny bits that disappear completely when placed under any load."
...I need to mute the phone more often.

I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes silly rhymes.

I call it my Reeces Pieces Thesis.
I'll see myself out.

I once had a friend who really wanted to get run over by a steam train

When he did he was chuffed to bits

Here's a nerdy joke:

If you use 8 bits from a Macbook, are you taking a bite from an Apple?

What do you get when you blow up a police station?

Bacon bits
I came up with this joke 15 years ago when I was a d**... teen.. maybe in poor taste with everything going on but thought I'd share.

A Warrior Cuts off the head of a Hydra formed by fusing 8 mythical beast,

and 2 heads Grows in it place,
he cuts those off and 4 grows,
he cuts those off and 8 grows,
he cuts those off and 16 grows,
he cuts those off and 32 grows,
he cuts those off and 64 grows,
he cuts those off and 128 grows,
he cuts those off and the Hydra Dies because the Hydra was made of 8 bits.

A teacher is asking children how their weekend went...

And young Johnny said, "It was great, Miss! Me and my Dad went to the outback! We stuck big sticks of dynamite up cane toads' arses!"
The teacher replies, "Johnny! The correct term is r**...'."
"That's right, Miss! Wrecked 'em! Blew 'em to bits!"

Why is the network engineer sad?

Because his career is in bits.

I was at work trying to come up with a joke about drills bits...

...but they were all too boring.

I really enjoy fastening bits of metal together

It's riveting

I eat bits of metal all day...

It's my staple diet.

TIL the French flag is traditionally made with Velcro

So they could remove the red and blue bits in times of war

A rope walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "get out, we don't serve ropes here." So the rope leaves, loosens up its end bits, and ties its self up. The rope then walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "aren't you the same rope I just told to get out of here?" And the rope says, "nope, I'm a frayed knot."

A man dedicated his life to tying bits of string together.

Unfortunately, it was all for knot.

What do Bits like the most?

Bus driving

Why couldn't I run the Compressed File?

I was missing the important Bits.

What do you call a gay dentist?

A tooth fairy!
(Not mine, credit goes to my friend Kibbles and Bits)

A construction worker asked me to make a joke about the contents of his toolbox.

Unfortunately, I don't have any drill bits.

My grandfather's dying wish was to be pushed in front of a steam train.

When it finally happened, he was chuffed to bits.

What's the difference between a virtual car and a real one?

You can't steal a real car a few bits at a time

I've never panned for gold...

But I have put bacon bits in my salad.

I was in class today and asked a friend if I could have a bite of her cookie...

She took the napkin it was on, folded it over to gather all the crumbs, counted out 8 crumbs, handed them over and said,
"no, but you can have 8 bits."

4 bits came up to me in a bar...

...they said they wanted to take a nibble out of me.

I bought a jaguar for my wife

It tore her to bits

A bartender is serving drinks one night when a farmer comes in asking for a fork.

A while later another farmer comes in asking for another fork. After a little while longer a third farmer comes in asking for a straw.
Perplexed the bartender asks the farmer "why are you asking for a straw the other farmers asked for a fork"
To which the farmer responds "well someone threw up outside and all the lumpy bits are gone"
Heard this when I was a kid and still remember it

Did anyone catch the full story on that woman who got murdered in a meat grinder?

I only heard bits and pieces.

What does a c**... say when his pockets are filled with cheddar?


What do Scottish people and people with bad handwriting have in common?

You understand bits here and there but overall it's a disaster.

Man, I love the Super Bowl...

But I still have no idea what the football bits are for.

I always give names to the little bits and pieces that are left on my plate after I've finished my breakfast.

I call them my crumpets.

The Oldest Computer...

The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve.
Yes, it was an Apple computer, but had an extremely limited memory.
Just one byte was used, and then everything crashed.
Adam and Eve were left holding their bits and pieces.
That salesman was a real snake!

Did you hear about the guy who jumped in front of a steam train?

He was chuffed to bits.

Our friend always wanted to be run over by a steam train. Last week we made his dream come true!

He was chuffed to bits.

A s**... scene came up on the telly.

My ten-year-old son was next to me. I said, "Put your hands over your eyes."
He said, "Why!"
I said, "Just do. I didn't realise these bits made it into the wedding video."

I smashed a CD in half...

Bits flew everywhere.

A ghost of a dog walks into a bar. He tells the story of how he was shot to bits and lost his tail. After asking if there was anyone to sew it back on the barman replied...

"I'm sorry, we don't retail spirits here"

How do you punish a misbehaving AI?

Chop its bits off.

Did Stephen Hawking have a donor card?

. .Cos I really need bits for my kids go-kart

What do you call Chewbacca after he's been rolled in chocolate bits?

A chocolate chip Wookiee

Some guy over the phone asked for my credit card details.

"Sure," I said. "It's blue and there's bits of c**... on it."

Give a man a fish

And he will be back hungry tomorrow.
Teach a man to fish and he becomes your competition.
Cut him up into little bits and he becomes your chum.

In the next few years we may get a sequel to "Charlie bit my finger"

"Charlie fingered my bits"

I went to the cinema to watch Harry Potter

...and I was surprised to see a man and his dog there. The dog barked at the exciting bits, growled at the scary bits and whimpered at the sad bits. At the end I approached the owner and said how I had never seen a dog enjoy a film so much and I was amazed. He replied So am I. He hated the book

What do you call an amputee stripper?

Bits n Pieces

Stalin appears to Putin in a dream

He says to Putin: "I have two bits of advice for you: kill off all your opponents and paint the Kremlin blue."
Putin asks, "Why blue?"
Stalin replies, "I knew you would not object to the first one."

I told a joke to a s**... bomber.

It left him in bits.

A man visits a h**.... As they are getting undressed, the man seems in awe of her lady bits. Watsamatta, hun? You ain't seen wonnadees since you crawled out of one?'s just that I've never seen one I could crawl back into.

Marcel Marceau and Charlie Chaplin were booked to perform at a benefit.

Naturally since they were both silent performers, their acts relied purely on physical humor. The night of the performance they were backstage comparing notes and discovered they had planned to do almost the same bits: man stuck in box; man pulling rope; man walking against the wind; etc.
I guess it just goes to show, great mimes think alike.

Stalin's advice to Putin

Stalin appears to Putin in a dream and says, "I have two bits of advice for you: kill off all your opponents and paint the Kremlin blue."
Putin asks, "Why blue?"
Stalin: "I knew you would not object to the first one."
Stalin would be very proud of Putin.

I had a dream that I was eating marshmallows...

...and when I woke up, I discovered I'd chewed my pillow to bits. I'm feeling okay, all things considered. Just a little down in the mouth.

My wife just got back from the opticians with her new glasses. "How do I look?" she asked

"Through the glass bits!!!" I said.

I'm binge-watching this show and they keep doing bits about marathons

Guess it's some sort of running joke

A Joke

A guy goes to the doctors office for an appointment...
The doctors starts off with bad news,
Doctor: (to the patient) Ok, I have two bits of bad news.
Patient: Ok what is it?
Doctor: One, you have Cancer.
Patient: Oh god no that's pretty bad! What's number two?
Doctor: Two is, you have Alzheimer's.
Patient: Well good God, at least I don't have cancer.

You know the scene, balding dude in a convertible with a h**....

She peels off her top and says "Faster you go, the more i take off!"
She's down to her socks and he's doing 120 mph when they c**.... Dazed and confused she finds the driver pinned in the car and goes for help, but all she can find to cover her bits is his shoe.
Stumbling out into the highway she manages to pull someone over "Help, my friend is stuck!" She screams. The guy looks down at the shoe and says "Ma'am, he's too far in for me to help"

I have some great stock tips..

Always keep the simmer low and slow. Save up the odds and ends from veggies. If you're using chicken, skim the fat/floaty bits off to get a clear liquid etc.
If you keep doing this, you end up a bouillonaire.

I have a joke and I don't know if it translates well in all cultures, so let me break it down into bits.

01100001 00100000 01101010 01101111 01101011 01100101

My girlfriend said, "If you don't quit drinking, I'll leave you."

I never expect to hear two bits of good news in one day.

What do Michael Jackson and the Berlin Wall have in common?

They were both really big in the 80s, and then bits started falling off of them.

A man was making a robot out of whatever he could find

The head was an old toaster, the torso a series of welded wrenches and bolts, the arms and legs bits of rebar. It wasn't pretty, so he gave it an ugly name: Brek.
The thing worked fine, but it wasn't terribly balanced. The left hand was heavier than the other, so it always leaned to the left. While looking for something to balance it, he had Brek hold his cup of milk. As luck would have it, that was exactly what he needed - the robot was perfectly balanced.
Because milk is part of a balanced Brek fist.

Rihanna wrote a song about crypotcurrency

Bits better have my money

I got a DVD on how to improve your foreplay techniques....

I had to fast forward through all the boring bits in the beginning though.

All people are binary

Some are just not aligned with their bits

Three surgeons were discussing their patients.

The first surgeon says, 'I like operating on electricians, you open them up and everything is colour coded and tagged and easy to trace'
The second surgeon says 'I enjoy opening librarians. Everything is catalogued and in order, so really easy to find things'
The third surgeon says 'I enjoy working on mechanics. They're always so understanding if you have any bits left over!'

Bits joke, Three surgeons were discussing their patients.

jokes about bits

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these bits jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.