Bitcoin Jokes

Following is our collection of Bitcoin funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include dirty puns, clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best Bitcoin jokes

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad...

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?

How do you make a small fortune from investing in Bitcoin?

Start off by investing a large fortune in Bitcoin.

A crossfit enthused, bitcoin investing vegan walks into a bar...

Oh, they already told you about it too?

A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday

Dad: What? $6,244??? $5,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $3,782 for anyway?

A vegan, a med student, and a bitcoin trader walk into a bar

Who tells you about it first?

I lost 164 pounds in the last 6 months with this one simple trick!

All I did was buy bitcoin

An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar...

But they were all silent compared to the person who invested in bitcoin

A vegan, a bitcoin trader, and someone who didn't vote in 2016 election all walk into a bar

Who tells you about it first?

what do you call Johnny Cash's millennial grandson

Johnny Bitcoin

Why does Superman only daytrade bitcoin?

Because he can't go near [email protected]

Me: I can't believe it increased by 1500%.

Professor: I'm sick of hearing about BITCOIN! Nothing can increase by that much and still be a good investment.

Me: I was talking about the price of college tuition since 1980...

If someone is vegan, atheist, and a CrossFitter, what do they tell you about first?

They tell you about Bitcoin

It is amazing that a Bitcoin is worth $8600

Imagine how much a full coin would cost!

If I had a bitcoin for every gender...

I would be imagining getting a lot of pretend money for a lot of people pretending.

My dentist doesn't like the fact that I've been chewing on quarters.

It's the closest I'll ever get to having a Bitcoin.

What do you call someone with no bitcoin?

a bit poor.

What Bitcoin and sex have in common?

You have to pull out at the right time.

Future rap name: 50 Bitcoin

That's all, the punchline was in the title; however, this sentence is here to comfort you and let you know that it's totally normal that you clicked to see if there was anything else.

Do you think I should get on bitcoin now ? It's at 0.5$.

Sent via Internet Explorer.

How do you spell bubble?


If I had a penny for every crashing crypto,

I would have a bitcoin.

Things that didn't exist the last time England were in the semis



































A boy asked his bitcoin trading father

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.45? What do you need $10.11 for?

Hey girl are you Bitcoin?

Because you look like you're about to crash and I'll get screwed

How many Bitcoins for that BMW?

Joe: How many Bitcoins for that BMW?

Bob: 2 BTC.

Joe: That much? That is kinda expensive.

Bob: Well its a big company.

Interviewer: How did you become a Bitcoin millionare

Bitcoin Millionare: ...bit by bit...

A Bitcoin trader walks into a bar

He walks up to the bar, orders a whiskey, pays the bartender one bitcoin and says, "By this time tomorrow it might be worth a million bucks!"

The bartender pours him a glass of water and says, "By this time tomorrow it might be Scotch."

Why do bitcoin investors want a Lambo?

Because they know Ferarri is owned by Fiat

Nerds buy Bitcoin currency because it reminds them of their girlfriend

Completely virtual.

With all the money I made with Bitcoin I know exactly what I'm going to spend it on... internet bill.

My New Year Resolution for 2018 is...

Buying bitcoin in 2011!

Russian Investments

Two Russians meet up:

- Have you heard, Bitcoin went up in value?

- Ya. But I only invest in one thing - VODKA

- Why Vodka?

- Where else do you get a 40% return??

Tom Brady said he refuses to invest in bitcoin.

Turns out he's afraid of inflation.

I asked the prostitute will she accept bitcoin ?

"No, it goes up and down more than you do"

New coin is coming out that is worth 8 times more than bitcoin!

It's name is bytecoin!

I treat my men like I treat my bitcoin

Pump and Dump

What do you call a Bitcoin that lost weight?

a lite coin

When the sun sets every evening, Superman moves all his Bitcoin investments into a regular mutual fund.

He tries to protect himself from Crypto night.

I bought a Bitcoin!

And its gone!

If I had invested $1000 into Bitcoin today I would have...

No idea how it worked

Why does Superman hate trading Bitcoin after 7pm?

Because it's Crypto-night

Bitcoin is like dating

I spend so much time trying to figure it out and have to use some POS system just to get some

Bitcoin is gold.

A comedy gold.

I treat my girlfriend just like my bitcoin

I never pull out.

My son asked me for $11 in Bitcoin

I asked him what he needed $17.15 for

He said he just thought $9.54 would be cool to have

A boy asks his father, the Bit-coin investor,

...for some Bitcoin currency again, this time in the amount of $25.00.

Dad: $23.67? What do you need $20.32 for?

What's the best way to become a bitcoin millionaire?

Start by being a bitcoin billionaire.

"Dad, can you get me 1 bitcoin for Christmas?"

Father: $16,548?! Why on earth would you need $15,749?

A Star Wars fan, a bitcoin investor and an anti-Trumper walk into a bar...

Which one tells you about it first?

i bought a waistcoat with bitcoin

It was a pretty good investment

Why do hipsters have so much money?

Because they bought bitcoin before it was popular

What's a comedian's favorite medium of exchange?

Bitcoin, followed by cocaine

What did the bitcoin investor say to the man who wanted some bitcoin?


What does the Bitcoin and love have in common?

I always lose. want to borrow some Bitcoin, eh?

Son: Dad can I borrow 10 dollars in Bitcoin?

Dad: What do you want 6 dollars in Bitcoin for? 12 dollars of Bitcoin is a lot of money.

I heard Netflix made a Horror anthology about people who lost all their money on Bitcoin

Tales From the Cryptocurrency

I hope I get $100 of bitcoin as a Christmas present

I mean $120.23

EDIT $97.56

EDIT 2 $103.55

EDIT 3 $111.47


A.K.A. flockchain

I asked my dad for $20,000 in Bitcoin

He replied, "1 bitcoin? What do you need 3 bitcoins for?"

What do your mum and bitcoin have in common?

After I paid they go up and down rapidly.

No one wants to swim with bitcoin miners...

Their pools are full of crypto.

I asked a hooker if she accepted Bitcoin.

She told me no because it goes up and down more than she does.

What do u call an early bitcoin adopter?

A bitster.

Haha why havent i seen this joke yet.

A boy asked his dad for $10 of Bitcoin money

Dad: 12.83?...what do u need 8.53$ for?

A kid asks his rich dad...

...for $20,000 worth of Bitcoin. Dad: $6,000? What do you need $32,000 for?

What's the difference between a Venezuelan Bolivar and Bitcoin?

The Bolivar actually has value as a currency.

Pressing F to pay respects watching Bitcoin price drop below $4000

Can't say the same thing being paid in guaranteed value.

Satoshi Nakamoto walks into a bar

Pays with bitcoin.

TIFU by deleting the folder with my Bitcoin wallet.

Whoops, wrong sub.

A little boy asks his father who invests in bitcoin for one bitcoin as his birthday gift. His father is surprised: What? You want 19300 dollars? 17000 is not a small number! What do you need 13000 bucks for? Your birthday gift…hmmm Okay, here is 9800 dollars for you, proceed with caution, Okay?

My girlfriend is like bitcoin

Very volatile

I bought a bitcoin and dropped it in the drain

You can't even buy a bitcoin hahahaha

Santa Coin

Santa: What do you want for Christmas little girl?
Girl: A dragon.
Santa: Lol. Dragons aren't real. Try again.
Girl: Bitcoin at $10,000
Santa: What color would you like your dragon?

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes