Bitcoin Jokes
94 bitcoin jokes and hilarious bitcoin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bitcoin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your friends laugh with these hilarious bitcoin jokes. From bitcoin mining to its crash, these light-hearted puns are sure to bring a smile to your face. Learn the economics behind bitcoin with some of the funniest jokes about investing, the ruble, and even getting a mortgage.
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Funniest Bitcoin Short Jokes
Short bitcoin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bitcoin humour may include short coins jokes also.
- A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad... ...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.
Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for? - How do you make a small fortune from investing in Bitcoin? Start off by investing a large fortune in Bitcoin.
- A boy asked his Bitcoin investing uncle for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin.
Uncle: $10.28? What do you need $8.41 for? - Superman once went to a party. Some people wore bitcoin suits, other dogecoin. Superman was upset, no one told him it was a crypto night.
- A crossfit enthused, bitcoin investing vegan walks into a bar... Oh, they already told you about it too?
- A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday Dad: What? $6,244??? $5,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $3,782 for anyway?
- Son: Hey dad, can I borrow ten dollars in Bitcoin? Dad: Twenty dollars and thirteen cents? Why in God's name do you need to borrow nine dollars and sixty-seven cents?
- A vegan, a med student, and a bitcoin trader walk into a bar Who tells you about it first?
- A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for £10.00 The boy asked his Dad for £10.00 in bitcoin currency.
The das said "£9.57? What do you need £10.79 for?" - Son asks his father (a bitcoin miner) to give him 1 Bitcoin for birthday. Father replies: "Son! 20485$ is much cash! Why do you even need 18572$? For 21568$ You can buy a good car!"
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Bitcoin One Liners
Which bitcoin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bitcoin? I can suggest the ones about currency and wallet.
- How can you tell who owns bitcoin at a party? Don't worry, they'll tell you.
- If I buy 8 bitcoins... Does that mean I have one bytecoin?
- what do you call Johnny Cash's millennial grandson Johnny Bitcoin
- Why does Superman only daytrade bitcoin? Because he can't go near crypto@night
- It is amazing that a Bitcoin is worth $8600 Imagine how much a full coin would cost!
- Asked for a Bitcoin for Christmas Opened up my present to find a quarter with a bite mark
- If I had a penny for every crashing crypto, I would have a bitcoin.
- If Bitcoin eventually goes under… Will it go to the Crypt O' Currency?
- What do you call someone with no bitcoin? a bit poor.
- I had 8 Bitcoins But a plumber stole them from me
- Who are the worst guests at a dinner party? Vegan bitcoin owners.
- I have a joke on Bitcoin But it requires so much energy to get it.
- Do you think I should get on bitcoin now ? It's at 0.5$. Sent via Internet Explorer.
- How do you spell bubble? B.I.T.C.O.I.N.
- What's the different between Bitcoin and my wife? My wife doesn't go down on me
Bitcoin Mining Jokes
Here is a list of funny bitcoin mining jokes and even better bitcoin mining puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why shouldn't you bother someone who collects bitcoins? Because they're mining their own business
- What did the bitcoin investor say to the man who wanted some bitcoin? MINE!
- He works his work, I mine He calls it syllepsis, I sell bitcoin.
- What's the best shoe brand for Bitcoin mining? ASICs
Bitcoin Crash Jokes
Here is a list of funny bitcoin crash jokes and even better bitcoin crash puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I decided to invest on Bitcoins, a Russian airline and a Hong Kong bus company But all of them crashed!
- Hey girl are you Bitcoin? Because you look like you're about to c**... and I'll get s**...
Great Bitcoin Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about bitcoin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bits jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bitcoin pranks.
How many Bitcoins for that BMW?
Joe: How many Bitcoins for that BMW?
Bob: 2 BTC.
Joe: That much? That is kinda expensive.
Bob: Well its a big company.
Future rap name: 50 Bitcoin
That's all, the punchline was in the title; however, this sentence is here to comfort you and let you know that it's totally normal that you clicked to see if there was anything else.
Bitcoin is like dating
I spend so much time trying to figure it out and have to use some POS system just to get some
I asked the p**... will she accept bitcoin ?
"No, it goes up and down more than you do"
I treat my girlfriend just like my bitcoin
I never pull out.
If I had invested $1000 into Bitcoin today I would have...
No idea how it worked
Me: I can't believe it increased by 1500%.
Professor: I'm sick of hearing about BITCOIN! Nothing can increase by that much and still be a good investment.
Me: I was talking about the price of college tuition since 1980...
With all the money I made with Bitcoin I know exactly what I'm going to spend it on...
...my internet bill.
A vegan, a bitcoin trader, and someone who didn't vote in 2016 election all walk into a bar
Who tells you about it first?
What do you call a Bitcoin that lost weight?
a lite coin
A Star Wars fan, a bitcoin investor and an anti-Trumper walk into a bar...
Which one tells you about it first?
My dentist doesn't like the fact that I've been chewing on quarters.
It's the closest I'll ever get to having a Bitcoin.
Tom Brady said he refuses to invest in bitcoin.
Turns out he's afraid of inflation.
i bought a waistcoat with bitcoin
It was a pretty good investment
An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar...
But they were all silent compared to the person who invested in bitcoin
Russian Investments
Two Russians meet up:
- Have you heard, Bitcoin went up in value?
- Ya. But I only invest in one thing - v**...
- Why v**...?
- Where else do you get a 40% return??
No one wants to swim with bitcoin miners...
Their pools are full of crypto.
I bought a Bitcoin!
And its gone!
My New Year Resolution for 2018 is...
Buying bitcoin in 2011!
What's the best way to become a bitcoin millionaire?
Start by being a bitcoin billionaire.
Why does Superman hate trading Bitcoin after 7pm?
Because it's Crypto-night
Interviewer: How did you become a Bitcoin millionare
Bitcoin Millionare: ...bit by bit...
I treat my men like I treat my bitcoin
Pump and Dump
New coin is coming out that is worth 8 times more than bitcoin!
It's name is bytecoin!
A Bitcoin trader walks into a bar
He walks up to the bar, orders a whiskey, pays the bartender one bitcoin and says, "By this time tomorrow it might be worth a million bucks!"
The bartender pours him a glass of water and says, "By this time tomorrow it might be Scotch."
If I had a bitcoin for every gender...
I would be imagining getting a lot of pretend money for a lot of people pretending.
If someone is vegan, atheist, and a CrossFitter, what do they tell you about first?
They tell you about Bitcoin
My son asked me for $11 in Bitcoin
I asked him what he needed $17.15 for
He said he just thought $9.54 would be cool to have
Nerds buy Bitcoin currency because it reminds them of their girlfriend
Completely virtual.
A boy asked his bitcoin trading father
...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.
Dad: $9.45? What do you need $10.11 for?
I lost 164 pounds in the last 6 months with this one simple trick!
All I did was buy bitcoin
Things that didn't exist the last time England were in the semis
iPhone
Facebook
Google
Amazon
Android
Twitter
Instagram
iPod
Yahoo
YouTube
Snapchat
Spotify
Tesla
Skype
Uber
Airbnb
Bitcoin
Fitbit
Emojis
iPad
and
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Croatia
What Bitcoin and s**... have in common?
You have to pull out at the right time.
When the sun sets every evening, Superman moves all his Bitcoin investments into a regular mutual fund.
He tries to protect himself from Crypto night.
Why do bitcoin investors want a Lambo?
Because they know Ferarri is owned by Fiat
My dad is a bitcoin trader
I asked, "Dad, could you lend me a tenner please?"
Dad - "£9.42? What do you need £11.63 for?
Investing in Bitcoin is like s**... without a c**...
Everyone's pushing you to do it and it feels good once it's rising, but not withdrawing in time can be costly.
Dungeons and Dragons is a lot like Bitcoin
I know it's popular but I don't understand it
I confessed to my therapist that I've been stealing other people's Bitcoin.
He says I'm his first cryptomaniac.
Batman invited all the superheros to an evening discussing bitcoin investments
Superman didn't go because it was a crypto-night.
What's the different between Bitcoin and my wife?
My wife doesn't go down on me.
Get it? Bitcoins dropping and I'm in a horrible marriage.
That's it! I'm buying Omicron.
I'll be d**... if I let another crypto opportunity slip away.
After many years of fighting crime as batman
Bruce Wayne finally got married and had a son. His son turned out to be brilliant at investing, especially in bitcoin, making Wayne Enterprises one of the biggest companies on the planet.
All this time, Bruce had been training him, and when the time was right, Bruce introduced his son to the Justice League, and told them that his son was going to take his place. Everyone was very welcoming, except for superman, who immediately quit the Justice League. He just couldn't work with a crypto knight.
Son asks his father for a gift
Son: - Dad I need a gift for my birthday
Dad: - What do you want Son
Son: - I need a Bitcoin
Dad: - What?? Why do you need $ 35K for?? You know how difficult it is to earn $ 25K dollars?? You will learn difficulty of earning $ 40K when you get a job
"Dad, are you planning on getting me a gift for my birthday?"
"Of course, but your mother and I would like to get you something you will enjoy, what is it you want?"
"Well, crypto is hot - how about a Bitcoin."
"A Bitcoin? Sheesh, those things cost $45,237! Do you know how long it takes me to earn $31,479? Some day you'll have a job yourself and have a better appreciation of how much $63,981 is on a pre-tax basis! I don't understand what you're going to do with a $26,109 bitcoin anyway.
Pick something else - $4,807 for a bitcoin is more than we were going spend."
A vegan bitcoin investor who does CrossFit and didn't vote in the 2016 election walks into a bar.
Now everyone's wondering what he's gonna bring up first.
Clark Kent looked ill when I invited him to our Bitcoin trading party after work.
I wonder if he has an aversion to Crypto Night.
Superman went to a Halloween party
Someone was dressed as a Bitcoin.
Someone dressed as a Dogecoin.
Someone else dressed asEthereum.
Superman was p**....
He didn't realize it was gonna be a Crypto night.
