Biscuit Jokes
47 biscuit jokes and hilarious biscuit puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about biscuit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this collection of the funniest biscuit jokes! From jokes about biscuit and gravy to jokes about a biscuit tin, these jokes about biscuits and all things biscuit related will have you and your friends chuckling. Whether you prefer chocolate chip cookies or brownies, saltine crackers or Insignia, you're sure to find a joke to laugh at!
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Funniest Biscuit Short Jokes
Short biscuit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The biscuit humour may include short sandwich jokes also.
- For cookery class, our homework was to bake something. I said I'd bake dog biscuits.
No idea how to, but i have a great excuse when i don't hand in my homework. - A tempting offer I was tempted by an offer which read, Sausage Biscuits 2 for $1.00".
"How much is it for one? I asked.
"75 cents , she replied.
"Ok, I'll have the other one". - I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits, but had to take them back as the seal was broken...
- So I came home today to find a homeless guy munching biscuits over my PC cabinet. When I confronted him he said he'd clear the cookies later.
- What are the most powerful biscuits in the universe? The Infinity Scones...
My 11 year old just came up with that one on his own... - Remember past mistakes and never trust the voters to make good decisions... Southern Biscuits and Gravy was actually a finalist in the Lay's Chip Contest
- Every morning, I always stack my pancakes, bacon, eggs and biscuits on top of each other…. So I can have a balanced breakfast.
- What do you call two biscuits which open easily for everyone to lick the centre? A whoreo.
- And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life"... But John came fifth and had to eat the biscuit.
- A joke from my 7 year old... What do you call a man who dips biscuits into his cup of tea? Duncan
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Biscuit One Liners
Which biscuit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with biscuit? I can suggest the ones about pastry and bread.
- Why did the biscuit cry? His mum had been a wafer too long.
- Why was the biscuit sad ? Because its mother was a wafer too long...
- I bought some ginger biscuits. Fussy guy didn't even eat them.
- How are raisins made grapes eat two popeyes biscuits no drink
- What did the tropical flowers say to the biscuit tin? *"Hibiscus!"*
- What do you call a cookie with erectile dysfunction? A Limp Biscuit
- How does bob marley like his biscuits? Wit jam in?
- What did the biscuit say when he fell off the shelf? Oh Crumbs
- What did the biscuit say when it got run over? Nothing. Biscuits can't talk.
- What kind of biscuits fly? The plain ones
- What do you call a cookie in a wheel chair. Limp biscuit
- What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg? Limp Biscuit.
- The muffin man and a biscuit man got into a fight. There were only crumbs left
- You thought the Irish were dumb? Scotch finger biscuits.
- What do you call a biscuit that's terrible at playing the guitar? A dodgy jammer
Biscuit Tin Jokes
Here is a list of funny biscuit tin jokes and even better biscuit tin puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the loudest noise in the world? A skeleton m**... in a biscuit tin
Biscuit And Gravy Jokes
Here is a list of funny biscuit and gravy jokes and even better biscuit and gravy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've compiled my bucket list. I've compiled my bucket list.
4 drumsticks, 4 thighs, original recipe, 2 individual mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits.
Cheeky Biscuit Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about biscuit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bagel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make biscuit pranks.
Every cook has a secret
The Admiral was visiting one of his ships. When having tea he noticed that every biscuit has the ship's insignia embossed on it.
He is impressed and calls the cook to ask him how he does this.
Cook: When rolling the biscuits I slap each one onto my belt buckle before putting them in the oven.
Admiral: That's pretty unhygienic.
Cook: In that case sir, I'd suggest you skip the doughnuts.
Two elderly gentlemen sipping their beer outside a pub...
One points to a dog l**... its g**... and says:
"Hey Bert, I wish I could do that"
Bert marks a pause, and replies:
"Well, I'm sure he'd let you if you gave him a biscuit"
A man walks into a bar
And sees a dog by the fireplace l**... its b**....
The man goes to the bar and orders his drink and says to the barman while pointing his thumb towards the dog and says ha, I wish I could do that
The barman replies give him a biscuit and he might let you
My Grandad was the best drummer in the world
He used to practice 18 hours a day, seven days a week, every day of the year.
Morning, noon, and night he'd be b**... away with his sticks, so dedicated he was, he didn't even have a set of drums, preferring instead to play on old biscuit tins, bottles, anything he could lay his hands on.
He was still playing right up till the moment he died aged 86 when my grandmother stabbed him in the neck with a fork.
Jim and Dave are walking down the street when they see a dog l**... his private parts....
"I wish i could do that" says Jim
"Give him a biscuit and he will probably let you"
A guy orders a beer at the bar.
The bartender puts the beer pint in front of him with the coaster under the glass.
Guy drinks his beer and orders another one, the bartender picks up the beer glass but doesn't find a coaster and thinks nothing of it and serves the guy another round.
A few rounds like that and the guy orders another beer but the bartender not having any coasters near him just serves the beer without the coaster.
The guy goes:
"What, no biscuit this time?"
...And Jesus said to Peter, "Come fourth, and you shall receive eternal glory!"
But Peter came fifth, and had to eat the biscuit.
So a guy walks into a bar...
So a guy walks into a bar and there is a dog l**... himself, The guy says "Man I wish I could do that" Bartender says "Give him a biscuit, he'll let ya"
How did the man solve the issue between a cheeseburger and a biscuit?
He brought them to the food court!
"I have a reputation for being flakey but I get away with it because I'm hot"
You get away with it because you're a biscuit
g**... walks into a pub with his terrier
He walks up to the bar to order a drink, whereupon his dog starts l**... its b**....
Another guy already at the bar looks wistfully at the dog and says to the owner Gee mate that's a skill eh, wish I could do that. .
The owner replies Give him a biscuit and he might let you.
"Mum, mum! I came first in class today!"
"Well done!! What was it?"
"Soggy biscuit"
"Oh, what's that... and what's wrong with your brother?"
"He came last".
Two guys watch a dog l**... itself...
one: - "I wish I could do that."
other: - "If you give it a biscuit it will probably let you."
Apparently 'Viagra' is now available in powder form specially for tea. Well, it's not for enhancing your s**... l**....................
............... But it won't let your dipped biscuit 'Go Soft'
What's worse than your biscuit falling into your tea? (GB JOKE)
Your biscuit falling into your tea on the rescue mission.
I've never really understood silent letters...
The T in Margot,
The U in biscuit,
The P in the Bath.
What is worse than a biscuit drowning in the tea ?
Answer - The second biscuit deployed on a rescue mission drowns too
So a piece of bacon and a biscuit walk into a bar...
And the bartender says, "Sorry but we don't serve breakfast here"
Been arguing with my wife about how to pronounce the name of this biscuit
I say its nice, but she insists its nice
They say that...
Fred Durst tried baking Pillsbury Grands, but in the end... it was a limp biscuit
