Birthing Person Jokes
35 birthing person jokes and hilarious birthing person puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about birthing person that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Birthing Person Short Jokes
Short birthing person jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The birthing person humour may include short baby birth jokes also.
- Professor opened with this in first year engineering lecture: What do engineers use for birth control? Their personalities
- My doctor asked me what I am using for birth control. I told him my personality. It's 100% effective.
- Birthing Person If the word 'mother' is replaced by the term 'birthing person', Samuel L. Jackson might as well retire
- they say that antibiotics prevent birth control from working I don't know, I've taken antibiotics before and my personality still did its usual job
- Fun fact when a person comes second in mario kart they can feel twice the pain of a woman giving birth
Share These Birthing Person Jokes With Friends
Birthing Person One Liners
Which birthing person one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with birthing person? I can suggest the ones about childbirth and giving birth.
- String Fight My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violin.
- What does an IT guy use for birth control? His personality.
- What do hipsters use for birth control? Their personalities
- What do feminists use for birth control? Their personality.
- What do Republicans use for birth control? Their personality.
- What do accountants use for birth control? Their personality.
- What did the banker use for birth control? His personality
- What do lawyers use for birth control? Personality.
- What do guys on Reddit use for birth control? Their personalities.
- What's an engineer's best form of birth control? His personality.
- What do you call an Appalachian Person that helps women give birth? A Mountain Doula
Birthing Person Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about birthing person you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean baby delivery jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make birthing person pranks.
Man tries to open a bank account
Teller asks him : "Your name?"
"J-j-jj-hhh-on S-ss-mm-i-tthh"
"Oh you stutter?"
"No my dad did but the person who did by birth certificate was a complete m**...."
A black knight moves into a new village with only white people...
...after a year, a white girl in the village gives birth to a black child. A shepherd goes up to the knight and says: "I think you had s**... with that girl, since you're the only black person in this entire village." The knight responds: "Well, sometimes weird things just happen, like your single white sheep among your heard of black sheep." The shepherd says: "Hey! You say nothing bout the sheep, I say nothing bout the baby."
Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health
If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.
If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you do in life, and what you want from us. Please stay on the phone while we trace your call.
If you suffer from hallucinations, press the 7 on the big pink telephone that you, and only you, see at your immediate right.
If you are suffer from chizophrenia, please kindly ask your imaginary friend to press the 8 key for you.
If you suffer from depression, it doesn't matter which key you press, as there is nothing to do: yours is a basket case, and there is no cure.
If you suffer from amnesia, press keys in rapid sequence 2, 7, 5, 3, 9 5, 7, 5, 1, 6, 4, 9 and repeat out loud, in the following order, your name, surname, home address, mobile number, e-mail, social security number, bank account number, ATM pin code, date of birth, marital status, place of birth and your grandmother's maiden name.
If you suffer from indecision, leave your message before, after, or during the beep.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from obsessive avarice we have to inform you that this call costs 500 euros per minute.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.
Mental health hotline.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
The dad, husband and pastor of a woman arrive outside a hospital delivery room
The nurse stated that the hospital policy only allowed one person to be in the delivery room with the woman. Unfortunately, all 3 became confused when the woman giving birth screamed, "FATHER I NEED YOU".
Topical Jokes for 2/8
A company in Denver has created a dating app that connects fellow p**... smokers. The app is great because even if you don't like the person you meet, sparks are gonna fly.
In Florida, a woman who didn't know she was pregnant set a state record by giving birth to a 14 pound baby. The woman realized she was pregnant when the 14 pound baby started k**..., and cracked three of her ribs.
Researchers have developed a smartphone app that lets you test yourself for STDs. The app can be a bit confusing to use at first, especially if you've never seen the You've Got AIDS emoji.
A man committed s**... leaving this note:
I married a widow with a grown daughter. My father fell in love with my step daughter and married her, thus becoming my son in-law. My stepdaughter became my stepmother because she was my fathers wife. My wife game birth to a son, who was, of course, my fathers brother in-law and also my uncle for he was the brother of my step mother. My fathers wife also gave birth to a son, who was, of course my brother and also my grandchild, for he was the son of my step daughter, accordingly, my wife was my grandmother because she was my stepmothers mother. I was my wife's husband and grandchild at the same time. And, as the husband of a persons grandmother is his grandfather I am my own grandfather.
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the dash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9…