Birthday Party Jokes
132 birthday party jokes and hilarious birthday party puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about birthday party that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Birthday Party Short Jokes
Short birthday party jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The birthday party humour may include short birthday celebration jokes also.
- I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.
- My girlfriend's parents called me a disgusting creep just because I am 36 and she is 24 What a horrible thing to say on our son's 10th birthday party.
- My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, So I made her and all her friends clean the house.
- The worst thief ever came to my birthday party today. I mean, I've seen other thieves, but this one took the cake.
- What's the Best Way To Embarrass A Psychic On Their Birthday? Throw Them A Surprise Party.
- I was always told to we should celebrate our mistakes I guess that's why my mum throws me a birthday party every year
- The cops in my town are looking for a suspect who they are calling the birthday party thief . I've seen a lot of crazy criminals, … but this one takes the cake.
- My dad just told us that he wants his next birthday party to be exactly a minute long. It's his sixty second birthday.
- Did you hear about that kid that got overwhelmed and burst into tears when his parents threw him a huge Thor themed 6th birthday party? He wanted something a little more Loki.
- At my cousin's birthday party, I held up a photo of my uncle and said "It's amazing how you look just like your father did at 40!" That's the last quinceañera I get invited to.
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Birthday Party One Liners
Which birthday party one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with birthday party? I can suggest the ones about kids party and kids birthday.
- A friend of mine and I were both born on 4/20. We always have a joint birthday party.
- Ever been to a bulimic's birthday party? (fixed) The cake jumps out of the girl.
- The animator had a birthday party. Everyone brought gifs.
- Why didn't Tom Hiddleston want a big birthday party? He wanted to keep it Loki
- How does Google celebrate its birthday? With a search party.
- I hate being the only drunk person at the party It totally ruined my sons 6th birthday!
- Why won't pluto throw a birthday party? It can't even planet
- TIL that anarchists don't celebrate birthdays Because they don't believe in parties.
- My daughter wanted me to be a mime for her birthday party. I was speechless.
- What do tortillas sing at birthday parties? Fajita jolly good fellow.
- I threw a surprise birthday party for my blind cousin. He never saw it coming.
- What's a pirate's favorite part of a birthday party? Dabloons
- I went to a bulimic birthday party. First time I've seen the cake come out of the girl.
- How do you ruin a dragon's birthday party? Tell him to blow out the candles on his cake.
- What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow
Hilarious Birthday Party Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about birthday party you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean christmas party jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make birthday party pranks.
A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked.
"First I’d have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged.
The woman took a deep breath. "He’s very bright and quick-witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well…"
"Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It’s YOUR child!"
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?
"Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early.
No one surprises Chuck Norris.
First boy: "Are you having a party for your birthday?"
Second boy: "No, I'm having a witch do."
First boy: "What's a witch do?"
Second boy: "She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."
Was invited to a birthday party last evening but didn't have a Blast. Hardly any Bombs!
I've never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face.
Did you hear about the spy who trashed a kid's birthday party?
He was a good anti-caking agent
My daughter learned to count!
My daughter woke me around 11:50 last night. My wife and I had picked her up from her friend Sally's birthday party, brought her home, and put her to bed. My wife went into the bedroom to read while I fell asleep watching the Braves game.
"Daddy," she whispered, tugging my shirt sleeve. "Guess how old I'm going to be next month."
"I don't know, beauty," I said as I slipped on my glasses. "How old?"
She smiled and held up four fingers.
It is 7:30 now. My wife and I have been up with her for almost 8 hours. She still refuses to tell us where she got them.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Careful what you wish for!
I don't think I ever got over
my grandmother's death when I was a kid.
My grandmother died from a heart attack
during my ninth birthday party.
Literally while she was eating cake.
And I guess that must have s**... me up a little bit.
I mean, I still have birthday parties.
But now I'm just careful what I wish for.
—Anthony Jeselnik
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... Clown
Inside of an Interrogation room
Investigator: Where were you on the 5th of March?
Clown: I was at a kids birthday party
Investigator: what were you doing at the party?
Clown: I was the Clown
Investigator: what were you doing as the clown?
Clown: Showing them my shoe size
Investigator: ...What do you mean?
Clown: I took them into the Closet
Investigator: Did you at least let them out?
Clown: Oh they definitely came out of the Closet when I was done
Nihilistic Kindergartners
David Bloom gained notoriety for his book Piscus Terminus: How to tell your five year old you flushed his fish down the toilet. Noted for its brute realism, the book's message led many kindergartners to spiral into a nihilistic despair, which contributed to the phenomenon of so called Kierkegaardeners , whose existential search for subjective truth in an otherwise meaningless world made birthday parties kind of a downer.
What do you do for a snake's birthday?
Throw a sssssurprissssse party!
I want Tampax!
A little boy was asked by his mom what he would like for his birthday. He answered immediately: "I want Tampax!"
The mother was shocked, then asked him why in the world he would want that for his birthday.
"Because it says in the commercials that with Tampax you can go swimming, ride a horse, or go to a party any time you a want to.
So, I ran into my old Geography Teacher the other day...
and he invited me to his birthday party.
"It's a Geography themed fancy dress party." he said with a grin.
"How's that going to work?" I asked.
"Well, for instance, I'm going as a large Island off the coast of Italy."
"Don't be sicily" I replied...
I'm heading to Thailand next week for a birthday party.
My mother-in-law is turning 19.
My girlfriend hired a midget to play the keyboards at my birthday party
I think she misunderstood me. I did not say I wished I had a 12 inch pianist.
Happy Birthday Ray Rice!
I offered to bring punch to the party but, his wife said she already had enough.
Do you know what my dad and Brad Pitt have in common?
Neither came to my birthday party
Why don't Pirates get invited to Birthday parties?
Because they always steal doubloons
There are 500 bricks on a plane...
- There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?
499
- What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge
- What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge
- The Lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?
Giraffe. He's stuck in a refrigerator.
- Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?
The alligators are all at the birthday party.
- Sally dies anyways. Why?
She got hit in the head by a flying brick
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... with me is just like my childhood birthday parties
No one ever comes and I cry when it's all over
What's the worst thing to give a norteño on their birthday?
A SURprise party!!
Did you hear about the jihadist birthday party?
It was a blast.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's a Jewish man's 95th birthday
His friends decided last minute they would get him a stripper. The only person available was about 70 years old.
At his party, the stripper, tassels at her knees, was giving the old man a lap dance when she said,
"Ooh baby. I'm gonna give you some supa s**... tonight!" To which he replied,
"I'll have the soup"
I was asked to be an Elvis impersonator for a kid's birthday party.
I showed up drunk, shot the TV, then died on the toilet.
King Arthur's birthday party at the round table.
King Arthur looked down at the pastries and asked "Are these all Cake?"
"Two are pie" replied Sir Cumference
A husband and wife grow distressed as more and more uninvited guests swarm into their party.
The husband has a plan.
He moves to the front, manages to get everyone's attention, and calls out, "If you're from the groom's side, please stand up."
About one fourth of the guests stands up.
He calls out, "Those from the bride's side, please stand up."
Another one fourth of the guests stands up.
He smiles and says, "If you are standing up, please leave. This is a birthday party."
Where would you find the emo kid at his birthday party?
Just *hanging* out by himself in the bedroom
There was a birthday party at the homeless shelter
It also had a poor punch line.
Facts of life
At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he thought that he'd be around for his 104th.
"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."
An old man wants to get life insurance
The employee working at the insurance company asks:
'How old are you, sir?'
'I'm 102.'
'102?! And you wanna get life insurance at *your* age? You know what? Come back tomorrow.'
'Tomorrow ain't good. We'll be celebrating my dad's birthday.'
'Your dad's birthday?! How old is he?'
'He's 139.'
'Okay, come back next week then.'
'Next week is definitely a bad time for me. We're gonna have a week-long party for my grandfather's wedding.'
'Your grandfather's weddig?! How old is he?'
'He's 164.'
'And he wants to get married at *his* age?'
'Nah, he doesn't, it's just that his parents are forcing him...'
Birthday Party
My friend's college mentor told her this story:
"So, my friend turned 32 last week, and we wanted to do something for his birthday so we put together a really quick party, only about half a minute long, and when the party ended, he was really confused and asked about the length of the party."
It was his thirty second birthday.
I'm going to a birthday party in Charlotte tomorrow...
Hopefully the looting isn't over because I forgot to buy a present.
Pluto wanted to throw Earth a birthday party on New Year's Eve
But he forgot to planet
My daughter wanted a Disney Princess birthday party…
…so I made all her friends come over and clean my house.
I went to a 4-year olds birthday party once, it was kinda awkward...
...probably because I wasn't invited...
So Thor threw a really small surprise party for his Adopted Brother's birthday.
It was Loki
You gotta think about all those April 1st birthdays...
Their birthday parties must be a joke!
What do cows decorate their birthday parties with?
Bull-oons!
It was my blind cousins birthday party yesterday. I hate him, but mum said i had to get him a present.
Got him a paint by numbers set.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... with my wife last night was like my eleventh birthday party.
Nobody came.
I had booked a U2 for my wife's birthday party...
Unfortunately they had to cancel. Luckily I found a replacement at the last minute. This new guy was amazing. He looked the part, sang all the songs exactly, and even his mannerisms were spot on.
After the party I went up to the replacement and asked how much I owed him for the gig. He said, "Don't worry mate, I'm pro Bono."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Birthday parties for people over 30 are
actually s**... prevention parties.
Birthday wishes
Next time I have a birthday party, before I blow out the candles, I will say: "My wish is that my wish does not come true."
Whereupon I will watch the universe implode.
Why was the Republican's birthday so much fun?
Because it was a white elephant party.
As a young man, I used to love my birthday parties
, but now anytime my birthday candles are lit state law requires that a fire extinguisher be present.
After I had my colonoscopy, the proctologist asked if I had any questions.
Apparently "Do you do birthday parties?" was the wrong answer.
Me talking about my failed birthday party
Me: the only person who didn't pull out was the one person I wanted to
Friend: who was that?
Me: my dad
Told my gran she needs to write an invite list for her 80th birthday party
She said that's grand I've got the one from my 70th there just cross off the ones that are dead
All of Santa's reindeer celebrate their birthdays except one...
Santa decided that the Donner Party was not to be repeated.
Threw a surprise 40th Birthday party for myself!
Nobody came though. :(
What did the class of Chinese school children do for their teacher's birthday?
They threw a supplies party.
I took two protons and two neutrons to my friend's birthday
That's what makes a party cool
After his birthday party, a little boy goes to his mother
Son: Mom, you need to act funnier, especially in front of
my friends. You never make jokes!
Mother: I made you
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did h**... say to his jewish friend schwitz when he couldnt come to his birthday party?
Awww schwitz!
In 2011, a $3,200 cake made for Paris Hilton's birthday was stolen by a party crasher by the name of "Paz".
I've heard party crashers do crazy things but that one takes the cake.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Gave my girlfriend a surprise b**... party for her birthday.
It was a complete disaster. No one came.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Everyone loved the s**... bomber I invited to my birthday party.
He was the bomb!
We hired a clown for my son's birthday party. I asked him why he chose this line of work and he responded:
I really dig It.
What did the old Catholic priest say when he arrived at a 6 year old boys birthday party?
Happy birthday.
Did you hear about the 30 year old virgins' birthday party?
It was celibatory
I hired a clown for my child's birthday party.
But I don't think he and his friends find Alex Jones funny.
I'm calling it now...
Still need a clown for my sons birthday party
Went to my Roman neighbour's 30th birthday party wearing practically nothing
Won't be making THAT mistake again...
Had an odd birthday party
I turned 41
What do you call an anti-vaxxer's kid's 2nd birthday party?
A mid-life crisis!
I once asked a Air hostesses of American Airlines for some water, she told be to get it by myself
This is a true incident that took place at a birthday party.
My kids love The Hulk so I painted myself green for my son's birthday party.
Man were they excited to meet Shrek.
