Birthday Card Jokes

45 birthday card jokes and hilarious birthday card puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about birthday card that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Birthday Card Short Jokes

Short birthday card jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The birthday card humour may include short birthday cake jokes also.

  1. As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said Y'know, one would have been enough.
  2. My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it. She's gonna love this pack of playing cards.
  3. For my birthday, the only thing I got was a deck of sticky playing cards. I find that very hard to deal with.
  4. birthday card As i handed my mom her 50th birthday card today she said " One would've done"
  5. I've open 6 birthday cards and I'm up to $150 already. I love working for the post office!
  6. birthday card I received from my brother...Forget about the past you can't change it, forget about the future, you can't predict it, forget about the present... I didn't get you one.
  7. My dad teared up after I gave him his 50th birthday card He said "One would have been enough"
  8. I was really happy when I opened four birthday cards and found a total of $200 in them. I love being a postman.
  9. For my birthday, I got gifted a sticky deck of cards. I'm having a hard time dealing with it.
  10. I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday and she said "All I want is a nice card..." "...with a $100,000 limit".

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Birthday Card One Liners

Which birthday card one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with birthday card? I can suggest the ones about birthday candles and birthday celebration.

  1. I got a comically small deck of playing cards for my birthday. It wasn't a big deal.
  2. As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card he said to me: One would have been enough.
  3. What does a man who has everything get his wife for her birthday? A birthday card.
  4. I was hoping to get some birthday money... Unfortunately, it wasn't in the cards.
  5. You know youre fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards.
  6. Why should trees never sign birthday cards? Because they're always so *Sappy*!
  7. What message did the t**... receive in his birthday card? You're the bomb!

Fun-Filled Birthday Card Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about birthday card you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean birthday fish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make birthday card pranks.

Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday.
Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card.
She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual.
The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.”
The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”

I made dinner reservations for my wife's birthday and told the host there's an extra $20 for the bartenders if they card her.

I got a divorce for my birthday.

When I woke up, my wife and kids forgot to wish me a happy birthday. I didn't get any birthday cards or phone calls. When I went into work my secretary wished me happy birthday and I felt really special.
We went out for a drink after work to celebrate and she invited me back to her place. She excused herself for a minute an went into her bedroom and returned with my wife, kids and all my friends.
I was sitting on the couch n**....

Dad joke for my birthday

I just opened my birthday card from my Dad...
"How time has flown, it only seems like 12 months since your last birthday"

It's my wife's birthday soon.

She said she wanted something with diamonds so I got her a deck of cards.

Wife's Birthday Gift

John: "It's my wife's birthday."
Peter: "What's your gift to her?"
John: "I asked her what she wanted."
Peter: "What did she say?"
John: "Anything, as long as there is a diamond."
Peter: "What did you give her?"
John: "Playing cards."

Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email?

He had no attachments.

My dad bought me an amazon gift card for my birthday recently

He told me not to spend it all in one place though

I opened my birthday card and a load of rice fell out

I know exactly who sent it. It was my Uncle Ben.

A penguin goes into a pub...

At the bar the peanuts say:
"Nice tie Mr!"
In the toilets the c**... machine says :
"You look s**... in that tie"
So he complains to the barman. The barman says :
"the peanuts are complimentary but the c**... machine is out of order"
This was the best joke of my birthday cards this morning, so thither I would share.

All I got for my birthday was a lousy deck of sticky playing cards.

I find it very difficult to deal with.

As i handed my dad his 55th birthday card he started screaming...

Son, why did you buy me 55 birthday cards?!

I heard a life tip that went; If you're ever too embarrassed to buy something, get a birthday card with it.

The cashier wasn't amused by the birthday tampons for my wife.

I should get my girlfriend a card for her birthday.

I'll make it green. I'm sure she will like it, all my friends say she must want one if she's dating me.

Got a birthday card today

I got a birthday card today, when I opened it a bag of rice fell out.
It was from uncle Ben

It's my wife's birthday tomorrow.

Last week, I asked her what she wanted for her birthday present.
Oh, I don't know, she said. Just give me something with diamonds.
That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.

All I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.

I'm having a hard time dealing with this.

I walked into the newsagents and asked if they sold Oyster Cards. The cashier said, "For the bus?"

I said, "No, it's my oyster's birthday."

Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on Christmas Day.

It wasn't his actual birthday, but he wasn't going to tell Chuck Norris that.

My mum burst into tears as I placed her 50th Birthday card in her hands, she said

"One really would of been enough"

A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client. A note was attached that stated: "This bill is one year old."

By return mail the lawyer had his bill back. To it was attached a card which read: "Happy Birthday, Bill

It was my mother's 50th birthday the other day. I handed her her 50th card.

She says why have you got me so many cards?!

jokes about birthday card