Birthday Cake Jokes
106 birthday cake jokes and hilarious birthday cake puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about birthday cake that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Birthday Cake Short Jokes
Short birthday cake jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The birthday cake humour may include short birthday candles jokes also.
- The worst thief ever came to my birthday party today. I mean, I've seen other thieves, but this one took the cake.
- I could never figure out why birthday cake gave me heartburn. Apparently you're supposed to blow out and remove the candles first.
- The cops in my town are looking for a suspect who they are calling the birthday party thief . I've seen a lot of crazy criminals, … but this one takes the cake.
- I cut my birthday cake in half and ate both sides. I wanted to halve my cake and eat it too
Today is my cake day - Doctor, my eyes burn every time I eat birthday cake. Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
- Dad gets mom a cake for her birthday every year But for Mother's Day he gives her a cream pie.
- I actually just realized that cake day is your reddit anniversary and not your birthday because of a notification I just got It's me. I'm the joke
- To celebrate my cake day, I decided to post a joke I got more birthday wishes than my real-life birthday.
[Reddit, thank you for years of facts, hobbies, jokes, and hundreds of unproductive hours] - Cake Q: Why do people like writing on their birthday cake?
A: Because they can have their cake and read it too! - What's a good way to tell if someone is an arsonist? They don't blow out the candles on their birthday cake.
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Birthday Cake One Liners
Which birthday cake one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with birthday cake? I can suggest the ones about birthday celebration and birthday fish.
- Ever been to a bulimic's birthday party? (fixed) The cake jumps out of the girl.
- Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes? Because icing is not allowed.
- What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake!
C'mon, you know the rules!! - What does a racist get for their birthday? KK-cake
- I went to a bulimic birthday party. First time I've seen the cake come out of the girl.
- How do you ruin a dragon's birthday party? Tell him to blow out the candles on his cake.
- Q: What does a cat like to eat with birthday cake? A: Mice cream!
- What does a polygamist family have for dessert every week? Birthday Cake
- You know you're old... When your birthday candles cost more than the cake.
- A Sad Birthday. It would be very sad to celebrate the Birthday of a Cake.
- Happy birthday amazing cup cake wallpapers,chocolate cake pictures
- Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.
- The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.
- I thought it was my birthday cake but it was just the shed on fire.
- When it comes to attention at a birthday party The birthday boy always takes the cake.
Birthday Cake Candles Jokes
Here is a list of funny birthday cake candles jokes and even better birthday cake candles puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was so poor growing up... For my 12th birthday, I got half a cake with 6 candles next to a mirror.
- It was my pet dragon's birthday today We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
- What do you get when you put birthday candles on a pizza? You can't figure it out? I mean, it's a pizz'a cake.
- Why do we put birthday candles on the top of a cake? Because it is too hard to put them on the bottom.
- You know you're getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Birthday Cake Jokes
What funny jokes about birthday cake you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean birthday card jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make birthday cake pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... n**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... n**....
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
"Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread."
"That's right."
"Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake."
"Well, today is his birthday."
It's always a good idea to make friends with babies. That's free cake once a year for a lifetime.
Did you hear about the spy who trashed a kid's birthday party?
He was a good anti-caking agent
My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..
..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did I get divorced?
Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" and I felt really special. Then, she asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said: "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" and i replied ''Okay!'' She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends and my colleagues all yelling,, "SURPRISE!!!"
...while I was waiting on the sofa... n**...
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the janitor get for his birthday?
A u**... cake.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Careful what you wish for!
I don't think I ever got over
my grandmother's death when I was a kid.
My grandmother died from a heart attack
during my ninth birthday party.
Literally while she was eating cake.
And I guess that must have s**... me up a little bit.
I mean, I still have birthday parties.
But now I'm just careful what I wish for.
—Anthony Jeselnik
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man has his 98th birthday
A man has his 98th birthday. They wheel in a giant cake, and a s**... 21-year-old blonde jumps out.
She whispers to him "I can give you some super s**...."
So the old man replies, "Well then, I'll have the soup."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
45th birthday
Two weeks ago was my and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!" and probably would have a present for me.
As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning, let alone any happy birthday. I thought, well, that's wives for you, the children will remember.
The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning, Boss. Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better that someone had remembered.
I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day."Let's go!" We went to lunch.
We didn't go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"
I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable".
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake -- followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.
And I just sat there --on the couch -- n**....
Why I got divorced..........
Last wéek was my birthday.... My wife didnt wish me.... My parents forgot and so did my kids.... I went to work.... Even my colleagues didnt wish me.... As i entered my cabin my secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".... i felt so special.... She asked me out to lunch.... After lunch,she invited me to her apartment... WE went there.... She said,"Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?" "OKAY",i said... She came out 5min later with a cake And My Wife, My Parents, My Kids ,My Friends & My Colleagues... All Screaming, SURPRISE.... And I was waiting on the sofa......in my birthday suit
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Birthday at the old-age home
So it's Phil's 90th birthday. All of the residents of the old-age home are there. Suddenly, two people come in with a huge "Happy Birthday" cake. The top of the cake opens up, and out pops a gorgeous b**... blonde in a skimpy bikini. She goes over to Phil, sits on his lap, and says "It's your 90th birthday, and I'm here to give you super s**...."
Phil looks at her and says "Please don't take this the wrong way, but at my age, I'd rather have the soup."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Poor Husband Hilarious Joke
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parentsforgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said,"Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... n**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did i get Divorced?
Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parentsforgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said,"Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... n**....
What does a homeless man eat for his birthday
Crumb Cake lol
This week, the hospital gave a cake decorated with 50 painted eyes for the optometrist's 50th birthday...
...the following week it was the gynecologist's birthday. He didn't show up.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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It's h**...'s birthday today...
I would've had a cake for him but I burned it in the oven.
In honor of my cakeday...
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
"What's eating you?"
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crumby!
What's the difference between a birthday cake and a politician?
If you blow a politician your wish will come true.
A man comes home from work on his birthday.
He's greeted by his crying wife:
"I made you a cake, but the dog ate it :-("
"Don't worry, I'll buy you a new dog."
King Arthur's birthday party at the round table.
King Arthur looked down at the pastries and asked "Are these all Cake?"
"Two are pie" replied Sir Cumference
Irony: I baked a Death By Chocolate Cake...
and gave it to my dog to celebrate his birthday.
"What did you like best about your last job?"
"What did you like best about your last job?"
"Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake."
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Why did John get divorced?
Well, last week was his birthday. His wife didn't wish him a happy birthday. His parents forgot and so did his kids. He went to work and even his colleagues didn't wish him a happy birthday. As he entered his office, his secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" He felt so special. She asked him out for lunch. After lunch, she invited him to her apartment. They went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," He said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, his wife, his parents, his kids, his friends, & his colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while John was waiting on the sofa... n**...
What did Ray Bradbury put on his Birthday cake?
Icing the Body Electric
My family is so poor
that for my birthday they gave me a picture of a cake.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This week I got divorced.
last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... n**....
Today is the Dali Lamas 82nd birthday but he couldn't decide if he wanted a vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry birthday cake...
...so he decided to be made one with everything.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My birthday was last week
My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday.
My parents forgot and so did my kids.
I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday.
As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!"
I felt so special.
She asked me out to lunch.
After lunch she invited me to her apartment.
When we got there, she asked, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"
"Okay," I replied.
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, and all my colleagues as they yelled "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa.. n**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
waiting on the sofa... n**....
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... n**....
My friend says he has lots of chocolate at home
I said "Jaffa cake?"
He said, "only on my birthday"
My dad got me a cake for my birthday
He told me to make a wish and blow out the candles.
Afterwards, he asked me what I wished for.
I said I wished you wouldn't hit me anymore.
Then you shouldn't have said it out loud.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Remember, tomorrow is Adolf h**...'s birthday
I've got a cake all ready for him in the oven
In 2011, a $3,200 cake made for Paris Hilton's birthday was stolen by a party crasher by the name of "Paz".
I've heard party crashers do crazy things but that one takes the cake.
The morning of his birthday, Timmy told his mom, I had a dream I got a BB Gun for my birthday. What do you think that dream means?
You'll know what it means tonight, Timmy's mom said with an encouraging smile. That night, after the birthday cake, Timmy's mom came in with a long narrow package and gave it to her son. Timmy tore the box open. Finally I get a BB gun, he thought. But he thought wrong. The box was empty except for a book called The Meaning of Dreams.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did I get divorced?
Well, last week it was my birthday, my wife didn't wish me a happy birthday, my kids didn't, and even my parents didn't even remember. I went to work and none of my colleagues nor my friends wished my a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, Happy birthday boss I felt so special. She invited me to lunch, then after lunch she invited me to my apartment. We went there and she said Do you mind if I go to the bedroom real quick? I said okay and 5 minutes later she comes out with a big birthday cake, my friends, my family, my kids my friends, and my colleagues all came out and yelled SURPRISE!!!! While I was laying on the sofa n**......
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the man get a divorce?
Why did the man get a divorce? Well, last week was the man's birthday. His wife didn't wish him a happy birthday. His kids and his parents forgot as well. He went to work and not even one of his colleagues wished him a happy birthday. As the man entered his office, his secretary said "Happy birthday, boss!" The man felt so special. She asked him out for lunch. After lunch, she invited him to her apartment. When they got there, she said "do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay" he said. She came out with a birthday cake, his wife, parents, kids, and colleagues all yelling "SURPRISE!" while he was waiting on the couch n**....
I had a birthday cake and decided to share it with my friend.
I decided to cut one quarter of the cake and gave it to him and I kept the rest for myself.
He started crying and whining about how selfish I was.
Me: Alright, so if you were in my position what would you do?
Friend: If it was my birthday cake, I would give you the bigger piece and keep the smaller piece for myself because I'm not selfish.
Me: But that's exactly what I just did so what are you complaining about?
I brought cake and candy to my son's birthday celebration.
And that, officer, is why I told the hostess at Chuck E. Cheese's that I was the sugar daddy looking for my party boy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are birthday cakes with emos on them the best kind?
They cut themselves
Before John was a traveling salesmen
Before John was a traveling salesman he worked door to door on foot. He actually came from an upper middle class family but had a healthy work ethic and a humble yet dull nature from aristocratic inbreeding a few generations back..
It was his birthday and his eccentric mother had told John he could have only one of the two presents she bought for him and she would return the other. After cake , John was led out to the front of the house where he saw a beautiful new dark blue four door sedan. The other choice was a fine black stallion of superior breeding . John looked carefully at both options then yelled Gimme the Karma
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was having the worst possible day. To cap it off my baker s**... up the topping of my birthday dessert!
It was the icing on the cake.
An American girl came to the checkout of a store to purchase a cake for her mother's birthday
An Englishman was at the checkout. The girl put the cake down on the counter and let the Englishman check the price.
"That'll be 10 pounds, miss" said the Englishman.
The American girl replied, "Oh, sorry, I wanted the cost not the weight."
The Englishman realised his mistake and immediately said sorry to the girl. He converted 10 pounds to American dollars and allowed the girl to hand him the money.
When she was given back the cake, the girl said," Thanks, I got really confused when you told me the weight. There must be some language barrier since you come from another planet."
My birthday was so beautiful
Even the cake was in Tiers
Obligatory cake day post :)
Hope you enjoy it.
I hope everyone is doing well during these tough times. Even if you're not, that is completely understandable and valid. Just know, that I may not know you, but I am supporting you. Sending you all a virtual hug. You may also have a slice of my cake :)
It's my cake day so here is my cake joke...
A man walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm and says do you have fish cakes? The man behind the counter replies, No .
That's a pity, it's his birthday
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guess what I got my toilet for birthday?
A u**... cake.
My friend's birthday
My friend ordered a cake with his own portrait as icing for his birthday and then ate it all without sharing with anyone
I guess he's so full of himself
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I get only one b**... per year
I get only one b**... per year, when I blow the candles on my birthday cake.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Choices
A man in a nursing facility turned 80. At his party, a large cake was wheeled in, and an e**... popped out of the cake and said, "Hey birthday boy, would you like to have some super s**...?" And the old man replied, "I guess it depends on what kind of soup."
A man moves to a new house
For the first three days on the way to work he sees a woman hitting her son with a loaf of bread
On the fourth day, she's hitting him with a cake
He asks what is going on
The woman replies, well, it is his birthday!
Why did the birthday cake go to see the Dr?
It felt crumby!
(PS I like this joke because it taught me how to spell crumby)
A man walks into a bakery with a 25lb haddock under his arm.
He asks the baker, "do you make fish cakes?".
The slightly confused baker replies that they don't.
"That's a shame", replies the man. "It's his birthday today".
