Birthday Bad Jokes
24 birthday bad jokes and hilarious birthday bad puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about birthday bad that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Birthday Bad Short Jokes
Short birthday bad jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The birthday bad humour may include short birthday celebration jokes also.
- Today would've been my mother's 50th birthday... But due to drug use and bad choices We all forgot about it
- I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for his birthday. I guess I'll never know why he so badly wanted an ex box.
- Meat Loaf has made great music. Meat Loaf has had iconic film roles. Meat Loaf will see his 75th Birthday Whoops. Now don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad.
- I bought my daughter some stuffed animals for her birthday. In hindsight, getting them at the taxidermist was probably a bad idea.
- My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. For some reason, she woke up bald and in a bad attitude
- My mom Last year my mom shoud have celebrated her 60th birthday. But because of alcohol, smoking, drugs and other bad decisions, we all forgot...
- People told me getting my girlfriend a refridgerator for her birthday present was a bad idea. But her face lit up when she opened it.
- Doctor: Good news! We organized a birthday party for you. Man: But my birthday isn't till next month.
Doctor: Which brings me to the bad news.. - Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday! - Have you ever s**... up so bad that instead of fixing the problem you just decided to see how it played out? I'll never do that again, Happy Birthday - Mom
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Birthday Bad One Liners
Which birthday bad one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with birthday bad? I can suggest the ones about bad birthday and birthday fish.
- My milk expires on my birthday. Some would say, I'm bad to the bone.
- Bad birthday gift suggestion Drum set for Anne Frank.
Birthday Bad Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about birthday bad you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean birthday card jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make birthday bad pranks.
Larry was not a good gift giver.
Every time he gave his wife a gift for Christmas, her birthday, or their anniversary, she complained about what a sucky gift it was. She was starting to get angry.
"Larry, the next time you give me a bad gift, I will light it on fire!"
A week later was Larry's wife's birthday. She came down to see only one small box. She sighed and went to go get a lighter. She opened up the present. It was a candle.
I bought my nephew a pair of airpods for his birthday.
The kid was so ungrateful, he didn't even say thank you. He just started throwing up gang signs at me.
I think he's fallen into a bad crowd ever since he went deaf.
This past year has been a sad one. It would have been my Mother's 60th Birthday, which we would have celebrated with the whole family. But thanks to drugs, alcohol, and a whole lot of bad decisions...
We all forgot to show up.
My girlfriend of two years dumped me on her birthday. I dont know why she was so mad, I got her EXACTLY what she asked for; 10 cents and a bell...
...upon further reflection, I may have misunderstood "a dime and ring", my bad.
Husband:Happy Birthday Babyyyyy!!!
Wife:Aww Thankyou sweetheart, What you get me?
Husband:It was a surprise, but you remember that pink Lamborghini car you wanted so bad?
Wife:o**... o**... o**... o**...! YES YES YES YES
I'm Screaming Right Now o**...!!!
Husband:Well, I got you a toothbrush, Same color.
An old man wants to get life insurance
The employee working at the insurance company asks:
'How old are you, sir?'
'I'm 102.'
'102?! And you wanna get life insurance at *your* age? You know what? Come back tomorrow.'
'Tomorrow ain't good. We'll be celebrating my dad's birthday.'
'Your dad's birthday?! How old is he?'
'He's 139.'
'Okay, come back next week then.'
'Next week is definitely a bad time for me. We're gonna have a week-long party for my grandfather's wedding.'
'Your grandfather's weddig?! How old is he?'
'He's 164.'
'And he wants to get married at *his* age?'
'Nah, he doesn't, it's just that his parents are forcing him...'
David received a parrot for his birthday.
The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary.
Every other word was an obscenity.
Those that weren’t expletives, were to say the least, rude.
David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked.
He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back.
He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments.
He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet.
David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’ll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.”
David was astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, “May I ask what did the chicken do?”
A woman wakes her husband up at 2 AM, saying
"Quick, who's scored the highest number of goals in football, ever?"
"Klose", replied the groggy husband.
"And how many episodes of Breaking Bad are there in total?"
"Huh? Wait, let me...55, no, 62, there's 62 total episodes" he replied.
"Who was that girl in that 'Saved by the Bell' show, Kapowski?"
"Tiffani Thiessen, played Kelly Kapowski"
"And also, when'd that new girl, Sandy, move downstairs again?"
"Two months next Wednesday. What's going on honey?" asked the husband, now irritated.
"Yesterday was my birthday."
An old, old man goes into a confessional.
He says, "Father, I"m not sure where to start."
The priest say, Well, what do I need to know?"
The old man says, "Father, last night I was havin' a drink, alone, at the bar, and I told the bartender it was my birthday, but I was all alone. Right then, a beautiful, sweet, 18-year-old blonde came up and said I shouldn't be alone on my birthday. She insisted on buyin' me a drink, and then insisted on taking me back to her apartment, where she introduced me to her gorgeous red-headed best friend. Well, one thing led to another, and we had all s**... all night long."
"Well," said the priest, "that's pretty bad, but I can understand. Say five Hail Mary's and two Our Father's, and don't do it again."
"I don't know those," said the old man, "I'm Jewish."
"Then why are you telling me?"
"I'm tellin' everybody!!"
So 4 guys are talking in a bar.
So 4 guys are talking in a bar, one leaves to go to the restroom while the others continue to talk. They start talking about the success of their sons, the first man says "my son's car company is so successful he was able to get his best friend a new Ferrari for his birthday." The second man boasts "well my son's real estate company is so successful he was able to give his best friend a new house for his birthday." The third man says "my son's airline company is so successful he was able to give his best friend a private jet for his birthday. The forth man comes back from the restroom and asks what everyone is talking about, they reply back "we're just talking about the success of our sons." The forth man says "oh, my son is a gay stripper," the other three men feel sorry for him and apologize, but the forth man simply says "don't worry about it, it's not that bad, for his birthday he got a new ferrari, house, and a private jet from his three boyfriends."