Birth Twins Jokes
62 birth twins jokes and hilarious birth twins puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about birth twins that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Birth Twins Short Jokes
Short birth twins jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The birth twins humour may include short twins jokes also.
- A friend of mine said, Wow! Your wife and your daughter look like twins. I said, Well, they were separated at birth.
- As I was introducing my family to our new neighbors, the guy exclaimed, Wow! Your wife and daughter look like twins! I chuckled and said... Well, they *were* separated at birth!"
- A biologist gives birth ........... A biologist gives birth to a set of twins. She names one Jessica and the other Control.
- My friend said, "Your wife and daughter look like twins!" Nodding, I replied, " Yeah well..." "They *were* separated at birth!"
- My father was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth. I have an uncle, once removed.
- Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins? She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.
- Why do twins usually know each others habits so well right from the moment of birth? Because they have been wombmates for 9 months already!
- Jesus had a twin that was abducted shortly after birth In other words, there was doppelganger stranger danger in the manger.
- The Twins Ever heard of the twin boys seperated at birth? One was raised Spain and named Juan, the other in Egypt and named Amal.
They say, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal. - Marvin Gaye and Aretha Franklin got it on in Spanish Harlem. As a result, Aretha gave birth to twin girls on the longest day of the year. What did they call them? Solsticetas
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Birth Twins One Liners
Which birth twins one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with birth twins? I can suggest the ones about pair twins and pregnant with twins.
- John and Wilma Take accidentally give birth to twin girls. Ms. Takes were made.
Hilarious Birth Twins Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about birth twins you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean identical twins jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make birth twins pranks.
Three men were at a bar discussing coincidences.
The first man said, "My wife was reading A Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins." "That’s funny," the second man remarked, "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets." The third man shouted, "Oh my, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!"
Three men were at a bar discussing coincidences.
The first man said, "My wife was reading A Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins."
"That’s funny," the second man remarked, "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets."
The third man shouted, "Oh my, I have to rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!"
A husband and wife give birth to twins...
...but realized that they simply don't have the money to support a family. They put the twins up for adoption without so much as giving them names, after deciding it was for the best. Soon, one twin is adopted by a Mexican family, and his new family names him Juan. Shortly after, the other twin is adopted by an Egyptian family. His family names him Jamal. Years pass, and one day the couple receives a picture in the mail of Juan.
"Look, honey!", said the wife, "They sent us a picture of Juan! I just wish we could get a picture from Jamal..."
The husband replied, "You don't need one."
"Why?" She asked him.
"Because if you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."
A man and a woman get married and the woman gets pregnant...
A man and a woman get married and the woman gets pregnant with twin boys. She and her husband discuss the children on end, and they come to the decision that they would not be able to support them once they were born, so they put them up for adoption. One son gets sent to Mexico, the other to the Middle East, and while they would have loved to keep in contact with their sons, laws kept them from doing so. All they were allowed to know was that one boy was named Jamal, the other Juan.
So, the couple live out their lives, until one day, a letter comes in the mail from one of their sons. Juan has sent them a letter after tracking down his birth parents, and also included a photo of himself for the two to see. While the parents are delighted to have heard from one of their sons, the mother cant help but feel disappointed at the lack of a letter from the other, stating that she wishes she could have seen a photo of him as well, to which her husband replies, "honey, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."
Three men are in a waiting room while their wives are giving birth...
The nurse comes out and says to the first man, "Congratulations, you're the father of twins!" "That's funny," he said," I work for Double Tree. Later on the nurse came out again and said to the second father, saying, "Congratulations, you're the father of triplets!" The man responded, "That's funny, I work for 3M. The third man started b**... his head against the wall, yelling. When they asked him what was wrong, he responded, "I work for 7 Up!"
Twins
A pregnant woman was involved in a car accident and fell into a coma. When she awoke days later she realized she was no longer carrying a child, and asked, "Doc, what happened to my baby?!"
The doctor replied, "Calm down ma'am, you gave birth to healthy twins! You're the proud mother of a handsome baby boy and a beautiful baby girl. Also, you should know that while you were in a coma, your brother named the children for you."
"Oh, no!" shrieked the woman. "Not my brother! He's not really all together, if you know what I mean!"
The doctor replied, "Well, ma'am, your brother named your daughter Denise."
"Oh, that's no so bad," smiled the woman. Then, hesitantly, she asked, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor grinned and said, "Denephew."
Denise and WHAT?!
A woman falls into a coma as she is giving birth. When she wakes up a few weeks later, the doctor greets her with some news.
"Congratulations! You had twins; a boy and a girl. Since you were in a coma, we gave your brother the liberty of naming your children."
"What did he name them?" she worriedly asked, "he isn't very bright!"
"Your daughter is Denise," replied the doctor.
Slightly relieved she says, "That's not so bad! And the boy?"
"Danephew."
A Pregnant women gets in a car wreck....
...and fell into a coma. When she awoke a few days later, she noticed that she wasn't carrying a child, and asked the doctor, "Doctor, what happened to my baby!?"
The doctor replies, "It's all okay. You gave birth to beautiful twins, a boy and a girl. But we needed someone to name them, so your brother came in and gave them their names."
The woman is surprised. "No, not my brother! He's not the smartest guy in the world."
"Well ma'am, he named your daughter Denise," the doctor said.
"Oh, that's not too bad. What's the boy's name?"
"Denephew."
Two identical twins separated at birth...
... And are put up for adoption. One of the twins gets adopted by a Mexican couple and is named Juan. The other twin gets adopted by an Egyptian family and is named Hamal.
Years later their biological mother and father receive a letter from both their children saying how through a bizarre series of coincidences they had found eachother and had tracked down their address. Enclosed was a picture of Juan smiling happily with his adoptive Mexican parents.
"Oh" the mother says to her husband. "he's so handsome! And seems so happy! I wish I knew what his brother looks like."
"Honey" said her husband "They're twins, once you've seen Juan, you've seen Hamal."
A man is late to his twin's birth
A man is late to his twin's birth, he gets to the hospital and apologizes to his wife for being late. The wife says, I am sorry, they needed paper work done, I let your brother name the children. The husband somewhat angry and shocked, "You let my crazy brother Larry name our children, what did he name the girl". "Denise", said the wife. The man repeated it "Denise..Denise..Denise..Denise is a pretty name what did he name the boy?"....The wife responded...."DaaNephew".
A Cherokee chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant...
The first s**... gave birth to a boy, and the chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of buffalo hide.
A few days later, the second s**... gave birth, and also to a boy. The chief was extremely happy; he built her a teepee made of antelope hide.
The third s**... gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details of the birth a secret.
He built the third wife a teepee out of hippopotamus hide and challenged the people of the tribe to guess the details of the birth. Whoever in the tribe could guess correctly would receive a small prize.
Several people tried, but they were unsuccessful in their guesses. Finally, a young brave came forth and declared that the third wife had delivered twin boys.
"Correct!" cried the chief. "But how did you know?"
"It's simple," replied the warrior. "The value of the s**... of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."
A pregnant woman is in labor
A pregnant woman goes into labor and is rushed into the hospital. While giving birth, she passes out due to the pain. When she wakes up the doctor tells her congrats on her twins. But since she was out cold and they needed to put names on the birth certificates, they had her brother name them.
At this news, the woman is visibly upset. Nooo, she says; my brother is r**.... You can't let him name them.
Tough luck says the doctor. Its already done. Heres your daughter, Denise.
O that's actually a pretty good name says the woman.
And here's your son, denephew.
A pregnant woman goes into a coma...
She wakes up from her coma to a doctor standing over her bed.
He says, "There's good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
She thinks for a minute then says, "the good news, please."
"You gave birth to boy and girl twins while you were in a coma. But the bad news is that your brother named them."
"What did he name them?" The doctor replies, "the first one, a girl, he named Denise." The woman was relieved and sighed. "What's the boy's name then?"
The doctors pauses, then replies, "Denephew."
A woman pregnant with twins goes into labor unexpectedly.
Her brother drove her to the hospital, since her husband was away on business. It was a very risky delivery, and the doctors had to put her under during the procedure.
The woman woke up and immediately asked, "Are my babies okay?"
The nurse on call said reassuringly, "Oh yes, your children were born healthy, a boy and a girl. However -- your brother had to name them because we needed to get the birth certificates filled out."
Nervously, she asked, "What did he name my daughter?"
"Denise," the nurse replied.
Relieved, the woman said, "That's a lovely name! I was worried he'd come up with something truly awful. And my son?"
"Denephew."
A guy brags himself...
Some guy, after his wife gave birth to 5 twins, says to his doctor:
"Looks like I have a huge cannon, huh Doc?"
The Doctor the says:
"Well then you've got to clean it up, because your rounds came out black!"
A woman goes into a coma...
A woman goes into a coma while pregnant with twins. Her husband dies in the car accident. A few months into the coma, she successfully gives birth to a boy and a girl. Shortly afterward, she wakes up.
"Where are my children? Are they alright?"
The doctor pats her shoulder reassuringly. "Yes, you delivered fine. You gave birth to a healthy boy and girl."
The woman sighs in relief. "Oh thank God. Who named them?"
The doctor frowns. "Your... brother, ma'am."
She lunged from the bed, grabbing him by the collar. "Oh no. He's an idiot. Tell me, WHAT DID HE NAME THEM?!"
"Deniece, he named the girl Deniece," he gasped.
She released her grip. "Oh... that's not too bad. And the boy?"
The doctor shamefully looked at the ground. "Denephew."
*Credit goes to my friend
My wife gave birth to twin boys the other day.
And I've decided to name them j**... and Forgery.
A woman passes out while giving birth to her twins leaving her immature, witty brother to name them.
She wakes up and immediately asks her brother what he named her new born girl. He replies,"Denise". Surprised she says,"That's a beautiful name, what about my baby boy"? He responds with a grin from ear to ear, "Denephew".
A woman gives birth to twins and then goes into a coma
When she wakes up, she realises that she is yet to name her child.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry about that miss. Your brother was here while you were unconscious. He named your children.
Mother: What!? My brother is a complete idiot! Oh God, what did he name my daughter?
Doctor: Denise
Mother: Oh, I guess that's not too bad. What a relief. And what did he name my son?
Doctor: ....Denephew
A pregnant woman got in a car wreck and went into a coma.
While in the coma, she gave birth to twins.
4 months later she woke up asking where her kids were.
The nurse informed her she had given birth to twins, a boy and a girl, and her brother has been taking care of them.
The woman said "Oh no, not my idiot brother. What did he name my daughter?"
"Denise" the nurse said.
"Oh, that's not bad. What about the boy"
The nurse replied "Da-nephew"
Three guys are in a hospital waiting room
Each of them has a wife in labor and is anxiously awaiting the arrival of their bundle of joy. The nurse comes out and says to the first man, "Congratulations...your wife has given birth to twins!" The man says, "Wow, that is such a blessing. Twins! Imagine that! You know what's funny, though? I work for the Minnesota Twins, so that's kind of a coincidence!"
Five minutes later the nurse returns and says to the second guy, "Congratulations! Your wife was carrying triplets, and they are all healthy...two boys and a girl!" The man is thrilled. "Triplets! Imagine that! Wow, two boys and a girl! You know what's funny, though; I work for 3M, so that's kind of a coincidence!"
The third man then suddenly reaches for his coat and starts to head for the exit. Confused, the nurse says, "Wait a minute! Your wife is in labor...don't you want to stay and be with her??" The guy replies, "No way. Forget it. I'm outta here. I'm a truck driver for 7up!"
Two twins were separated at birth
One of them lived in Cuba, and was named Juan. The other lived in Egypt, and was named Jamal.
10 years after their birth, their birth mother was sent a picture of one of the twins. "I wish I could see the other one," she said. The adoption mother then said,
" If you've seen juan, you've seen jamal."
A woman who has just given birth has fallen into a coma.
After 7 months the mother finally awakes and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: Good news, you had twins! a boy and a girl. They are healthy, luckily your brother named them for you.
Mother: Oh no, not my brother! he's so s**...! What did he name my daughter?
Doctor: Denise.
Mother: well that isn't so bad, and what did he name my son?
Doctor: Denephew.
A woman gives birth to a girl and a boy but falls into a coma for a few months.
After she wakes up the doctor says "stay calm. You fell into a coma after having twins. Your brother came to pick them up and even name them."
The mother is worried "Oh no my Brother is terrible with names!"
The doctor says "He named the girl Denise"
The mother looks relieved "well that's not so bad. What did he name the boy?"
"Denephew"
A pregnant woman goes into a coma
A pregnant woman goes into a coma moments after she gives birth to twins, one boy and one girl.
When she finally wakes up several days later, she cries out frantically to see her children.
The doctors come to her, and the first thing she asks is "How are my children?"
"Fine" says the doctor, "your brother named them".
She thinks to herself, "Oh no!" "My brother's an idiot" and she asks the doctor "What did he name them?"
The doctor says "He named the girl Denise"
And she thinks, Well, maybe I misjudged my brother... Denise isn't such a bad name"
What did he name the boy?"
Replies the doctor "De nephew."
3 guys are waiting while their wives give birth
A nurse emerges from the back and says, "Mr. David, come on back, your wife has delivered two beautiful babies!"
"Wow! Twins, huh? That's interesting, I'm from the twin rivers." Said Mr. David
After another hour, a second nurse comes into their room and says, "Mr. Smith, you wife has had healthy triplets!"
"That's awesome!" Replied Mr. Smith, "I'm from the three islands, Jonu, Frot and Trik." And with that he went back with the nurse
The third man begins sweating and praying. The first nurse returns to see if he's fine and if he needs anything. He looks terrified so she asks what's wrong.
"I'm from the forest of 1,000 trees!!"
My favourite joke ever
So a woman is in the hospital, having just given birth to twins. The midwife appears at her side and gravely says that she has some good news and some bad news. The woman asks for her to get the bad news out of the way. "Well," the midwife says, "unfortunately one of the children is ginger".
The Mother laughs and says, "Well then, whats the good news?"
"Its dead", the midwife says.
A woman gave birth to twin boys, but gave them up for adoption.
A woman gave birth to twin boys, but gave them up for adoption. One was adopted by a Mexican family, and they named him Juan.
The other was adopted by a Palestinian couple, and they named him Amal. Years later, the birth mother & her husband wanted to find and meet their two sons they had to give up years ago. They were able to track down Juan and were finally able to meet him. They so overcome with Joy, they started to look for Amal. They searched & searched but couldn't find Amal. The woman was distraught, but her husband tried consoling her: "Honey, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
A mother went into a coma after giving birth to twins
When she woke up after 6 months and 3 days, the doctor told the mother: "While you were in a coma, we had your brother name your children. One is a boy, one is a girl."
The mother, with a disappointed and angry look on her face told the doctor: "Why my brother? That guy is an idiot. So what did he name them?"
The mother, expecting hideous names, prepared herself.
"The girl, was named Denise." The mother thought, "Hey that wasn't so bad. What about my boy?"
The doctor said, "Denephew".
A mexican woman goes into labor, and then passes out...
a few hours later, she wakes up in the hospital and finds out that she has given birth to perfectly healthy twin baby boys. "Since you were unconscious while your children were born, your husband named both of your children for you", the doctor informs her. "Oh no!", exclaims the woman, "my husband is an idiot! Did he name the children something s**...?" "Well, the first child's name is Juan", says the doctor. "That's not so bad," she says, "but what did he name the second child?"
"Two."
Twins
A woman has twins and puts them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other one goes to a family in Mexico and is named Juan. Many years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. She forwards it to her husband, who asks for a picture of the other one.
They're twins. She says. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.
Blonde childbirth
It's a blonde who gave birth to two beautiful babies, twins, however, she cries endlessly!
The nurse then tells him:
"But see madame! Why are you crying ? You are now mother of 2 beautiful babies, in good health!
- I know, says the blonde, but I do not know who is the father of the second!
A woman is pregnant with twins
but because of complications during labor, she passed out for about 24 hours after the birth. When she wakes up, she asks to see her children, excited to name them.
The doctor says sure, here they are, but your brother already named them.
What? she exclaims, what did he name them?
He named the girl, Denise, said the doctor.
Hmm, she says, I guess that's ok. I like Denise. What did he name my son?
Denephew.
An expecting father paces nervously up and down the waiting room.
"First child?" Asks another father
"No" replies the first.
"Well then why are you so anxious?"
"When my wife read 'A tale of two cities', she had twins. When she read 'The three musketeers' she had triplets."
"That's amazing." says the second Man
"Yes" replies the first "but she just finished reading 'Birth of a Nation'.
Our lead programmer is Mexican, she recently gave birth
To a set of conjoined twins. It was a Juan to Manny join.
Baby names
Right before giving birth, a woman carrying twins falls into a coma and has an emergency C\-section. When she finally woke up, she called the doctor over and asked about her children. "Oh, they're beautiful. You had a boy and a girl." the doctor says.
She begins to smile and asks "Wait, who named them?"
"Your brother" the doctor answered.
"Oh, no. Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name my daughter?"
"Denise" The doctor replied.
"Oh, that's not so bad" the mother replied. "What about my son?"
"Denephew"
An eighty year old man is in the hospital waiting room about to be a first time father.
The nurse comes out of the opperating room as say "Good news sir your wife just gave birth to twins. You have two healthy baby boys. "
The old man stands up excitedly takes off his hat and says to the nurse "It just goes to show you even if you have snow on the roof you can still have a fire in the furnace!"
The nurse replied: "Well you better change your filter because the babies are black"
A first place winner at the International Pun Contest
A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
A Woman just gave birth to twins
She turns to her husband and says, "Honey, we've made mistakes"
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal
A woman who is a month pregnant falls into a deep coma. Three months after giving birth, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby...
Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news for you. Which would you like to hear first?
Woman: Of course, the good news.
Doctor: You had twins, both girls, and they're both fine. Luckily, your brother was here to name them.
Woman: Oh, that drummer... What did he name the girls?
Doctor: Anna 1, Anna 2
Adoption Joke
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.
A woman had twins and put them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in eygpt and was named Amal. The other goes to a family in spain who name him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband replies "Don't be sad. They're twins, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
The twins
A woman delivers a set of identical twins and decides to give them up
for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."
The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later,
Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the
picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of
Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've
seen Ahmal."
A man's wife is close to giving birth but he has to go away on business.
He asks his brother to look after his wife. A couple days into the trip and his brother calls from the hospital.
"I have good news and bad news. Good news is you have perfectly healthy twins! A boy and a girl! The bad news is they had to put your wife under for the birth. She's fine, but they needed names for the birth certificates, so I had to name them."
Father says, "That's not bad news. I trust you. What did you name the girl?"
"Deniece."
"Oh, that's a beautiful name! I knew I could trust you. What did you name the boy?"
"Denephew"
Each year, a lawyer takes his holidays at an out of the way, country hotel.
With each visit, he continues his affair with the hotel owner's daughter.
On his visit this year he finds out she has given birth to twin boys.
Why on earth didn't you tell me? said the astonished lawyer.
You know I would have married you and provided for the babies.
The woman replied, That may be so. But when I told my parents I was pregnant, we talked over the options and decided it was far better to have a couple of b**... in the family than a lawyer".
-My wife read the book "Twins" and she gave birth to twins
\-Mine read the book "Three little girls" and she gave birth to triplets
\-Oh my god! I left my wife reading "Ali baba and the forty thieves"
A 75 year old man with all white hair is dating a 22 year old girl. His girlfriend is pregnant. After the birth he asks the nurse well nurse, how did I do? The nurse replied you did great she had twins. The old man responded A little snow on the roof and I still got a fire in the furnace
To This the nurse replied Well you may want to clean the filters because those babies are black
A Woman gives birth.
A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6 months later she wakes and asks the doctor about her baby, Doctor says you had twins a boy and a girl, your brother has named them. Oh no he is an idiot! what did he name the girl? "Denise", Oh that's not so bad says the woman, and the boy?.
Denephew.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
He responds, They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.