Birdie Golf Jokes
10 birdie golf jokes and hilarious birdie golf puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about birdie golf that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Birdie Golf Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good birdie golf joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Santa played a round of golf on Christmas day to relax and hit a birdie....
It was a partridge on a par 3.
Jesus, Moses and an Old Man go golfing
and they come up to the par 3. Moses steps up to take a swing and plop, right in the pond. So he steps up to the water, raises his hands and separates the water. He strolls up and chips it into the hole for a birdie. Jesus' turn and he plunks it in the drink, too. He walks on the water, takes a swing and chips it in for a birdie.
The old man steps up to the tee and takes a swing. And, you guessed it, he drops it into the water. Just then a fish swims up and gobbles the ball, a hawk comes flying in from the sky and swoops up the fish. Over the green, the bird lets go of the fish, who slams against the ground. letting the ball go... which rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one. Jesus turns to the old man and says, "Dad, quit showing off."
A man goes golfing
And he hits the most incredible drive, an absolute rocket. 100 down range a bird flies into the middle of the fairway, gets smoked by the ball and drops down dead. The man walks up to the bird and sees that the ball has gone right through!
This begs the question, is it a birdie or a hole-in-one.
Did you hear about the golf match between the black golfer and white golfer from South Africa?
Birdie on the last hole would have won the match for the black golfer, but a par tied.
The dyslexic golfer was well on his way to a birdie until he hit a water fowl, killing the golf club's mascot.
No egrets
Went golfing today. Hit a birdie on the 7th hole.
Blackbird I think.
An Exclusive Golf Course
This golf nut had waited his whole life to play on a very exclusive golf course, and he finally got his chance. He was paired with another guy he didn't know who had also lucked into a round there.
At one point, a f**... procession came down the street. The first man stopped, while he was putting for a birdie, took off his golf hat, and held it over his heart until all the cars had gone by.
The second man was impressed, "That was very nice of you."
The first man lined up his putt, shrugged, and said, "It was the least I could do. We were married for 41 years."
Nakamushi! Nakamushi!
A businessman is on his first trip to Japan. To relax himself the night before his big meeting he gets a call girl. While he's b**... her she keeps on screaming
Nakamushi! Nakamushi! which he assumes is a complement on his s**... prowess.
The next his meeting goes well and he's invited to play golf with the Japanese CEO. The CEO sinks a particular long putt for a birdie and the businessman thinks 'I'll impress him with some Japanese' so he applauds the CEO and says
Nakamushi! Nakamushi! But the CEO frowns at him and says
What do you mean 'Wrong hole! Wrong hole'?
Jesus, Moses, and this guy are out golfing...
and the hole is a notorious Par 3 with a huge lake before the green. Moses takes a shot and hits it right into the lake. With his second shot he parts the lake, knocks it on the green, and right after he putts it in for par.
Jesus goes next and he too can't clear the water hazard and the ball just sticks on the surface without sinking. He walked right across the surface of the water where he chipped it in for a birdie.
The two looked back at the man awaiting his shot with smug faces. He hits the ball and like the others it falls right into the lake. Jesus and Moses snicker a little bit before a fish swims to the surface with the ball in it's mouth as an eagle swoops down from the clouds and grabs the fish. As it flies away the ball falls out of the fishes mouth landing on the green where a squirrel runs across and pushes it into the cup for a hole in one.
Moses throws down his club and looks and Jesus and says "Man I HATE playing golf with your Dad!"
Moses, Jesus, and an old man are playing a friendly game of golf...
Jesus, Moses, and an old man are playing a friendly game of golf.
First Moses goes. He licks his finger to check the wind. He does some simple trigonometry and then hits the golf ball. The golf ball lands in the middle of the lake. He grumbles and growls and sticks his club into the ground to part the seas. He walks into the middle of the now waterless lake and hits it onto the green. He sinks the ball with a birdie.
Next goes Jesus. Jesus puts his hands in prayer and then sets up to hit the ball. He makes contact and hits it onto the green. He puts it in for an eagle.
The old man grumbles and growls. He approaches the tee with his club in his off-hand. He takes a mighty swing and smacks the ball. The ball flies and lands on a lily-pad. It is then picked up by a frog. The frog in turn finds itself in the clutches of a falcon. The frog drops the ball and it bounces in for a hole-in-one.
At this point Moses leans towards Jesus and whisper, "I really hate playing with your old man."
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