Bird Feed Jokes
21 bird feed jokes and hilarious bird feed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bird feed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bird Feed Short Jokes
Short bird feed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bird feed humour may include short birds prey jokes also.
- I was watching an old man feeding birds at the park when I thought to myself... "i wonder how long he's been dead for..?"
- I was walking through the park I saw an old man feeding some birds I thought to myself "I wonder how long he's been dead"
- Walking through the park one morning, I saw an old man feeding the birds. After a few minutes of watching him, I began to wonder... ...how long has he been dead?
- There was a recall on bird food but most places are offering a refund if you return it. It strikes me as odd that they would encourage you to give bad feed back.
- I want to start a bird feeding company. I want to start a bird feeding company.
All I need is some seed money. - I walked down the street the other day and saw a man feeding the birds Wonder how long he's been dead
- What did the man say to the cute woman feeding the birds in the park? Do you crumb here often?
- "Feed the birds, tuppence a bag", the old woman said to me. So I fed one. Enjoyable experience, I thought.
Her boyfriend didn't agree. - A stash of cannabis plants has been dumped in a local Estuary and local seabirds have been seen feeding nearby. Bird welfare groups are investigating and they say no tern has been left un-s**...!!..
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Bird Feed One Liners
Which bird feed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bird feed? I can suggest the ones about bird watching and bird seed.
- Today I saw an old man feeding the birds. He must have been dead three hours at least.
- Just saw an old man in the park feeding the birds Wonder how long he'd been dead
- Why did the man's bird feed startup go under? The seed money fell through.
Bird Feed Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about bird feed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bird nest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bird feed pranks.
So there was this kid who was lazy and couldnt wake up early..
His mom wanted to teach him a lesson about the benefits of waking up early.
She said: Son, i am going to tell you a little story and then i want you to tell me what did you learn from it ok?
Son: Ok
Mom: imagine two birds. First bird always wakes up early and can find bugs to feed himself and his family. The second bird wakes up late everyday and cant find anything to eat. So what did you learn from this.
Son: i learned that the bugs that wake up early gets eaten by birds
3 old ladies are in a park
Three elderly grey ladies are sitting on a bench feeding birds in the park. Suddenly, a man runs in front of them and whips open his trench coat, to reveal he's wearing nothing underneath!
Astonished at the exposure the first Lady has a s**.... The second Lady has a s**....
And
Sadly
the third old lady couldn't quite reach.
Little Birdie
A man was sunbathing at a n**... beach one sunny afternoon when a little girl walks up to the man. The man immediately covers his g**... with a newspaper to shield the girl from looking at them.
"What's under there, Sir?" the naive little girl asks.
"It's my little birdie and he's trying to sleep," the man replies.
"Ok."
The man falls asleep as the girl walks away. He wakes up in the hospital with horrible pains in the pelvic region. He then sees the little girl and asks, "What happened?"
"I went back to get something to feed your little bird and you fell asleep, so I pet the bird and it spit at me so I SNAPPED IT'S NECK, SMASHED HIS EGGS, AND BURNED HIS NEST!!!"
Dead crows
There were many dead crows on highways in the Rocky Mountains this year. Ornithologists suspected it was due to vehicles hitting the crows.
This was surprising because crows have adapted to feeding on carcasses by having two birds watching from the trees while two birds feed. If there is a vehicle coming, two crows will shout out so the other birds can fly away.
After analyzing the car chips left on the crows, it was found that 80% of crows killed by trucks and only 20% were killed by cars.
Turns out crows are really good at yelling "caw caw caw" and not good at yelling "truck truck truck".
Baseball in Heaven
Two kids, Adam and John, absolutely love playing baseball. They play every day of their lives until years down the road Adam and John are now two old men who sit in the park feeding the birds and watching kids play baseball. One week later John passes away. Adam is sitting at the park alone when he hears Johns voice.
John -- Psst, Adam, its John.
Adam -- John buddy I miss ya! Hows heaven?
John -- Its great! But there is good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first?
Adam -- The good news.
John -- There's baseball in heaven!
Adam -- That's great! What's the bad news?
John -- You're pitching next Monday.
Baseball
Two old friends in their 80's John and Frank grew up together and always loved baseball since they were young. They went to the park everyday to feed the bids and talk about baseball.
One day, John turns to Frank and says, "Frank, do you think there is baseball in heaven?"
John think for a second then says, "Well how about this. Whichever one of us dies first will find out if there is
baseball in heaven, then come back as a ghost to tell the other one."
Frank agrees to this and they continue to feed the birds and talk.
Sadly, a few weeks later, Frank dies of a heart attack.
John kept going to the park to feed the birds, only now, he did it alone. After a few days, he hears a voice, "Joooooohn. Jooooooohn."
John is surprised at first, but then says, "Frank? Is that you?"
Frank responds, "Yeeesss. I've come back with good news and bad news."
John asks, "Oh my god Frank! I've missed you so much! What's the good news?"
Frank responds, "The good news is that there is baseball in heaven."
John says, "Oh my god, that's amazing! What could possibly be the bad news?"
Frank says, "You're pitching on Friday."