My grade is below C level.
... speak for themselves
Apparently, "black guys" isn't the answer to the question "What is found in cells."
Apparently black people was not the answer.
Apparently "black people" was not the right answer
The question was "what are commonly found in cells?" I guess "black people" wasn't the right answer.
He told me: Sex cells.
One of the questions was, "name two things commonly found in cells."
Apparently, young blacks and latinos was not the right answer.
Hoping for good news he goes to meet with a fortune teller.
The fortune teller closes her eyes, makes some strange sounds, and finally says, "You will meet a beautiful young girl that will want to know everything about you"
The frog gets excited and says, "Wow! When will I meet her? At a party?"
"No," replied the fortune teller, "in her biology class."
Q. who was the Jewish prophet that led the water molecules across the partially permeable membrane?
A. osmoses
Black people was the wrong answer...
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His personal psychic advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says his advisor, "In her biology class."
They asked; "what is something commonly found in cells?"
Apparently black people wasn't the correct answer
I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
Apparently, Stephen Hawking was the wrong answer.
The question was: "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently, "African Americans" wasn't the correct answer.
The guy said, "Give me all your money or else you're biology!"
I said, "Don't you mean history?"
He told me "Don't change the subject!"
Because toe jokes may be cheesy, but eye jokes are cornea.
(Biology students roll up)
However, they're still full of humour.
They didn't have any chemistry.
One of the questions asked. What are normally found inside cells?
Apparently, 'Black People' was not the correct answer.
Biology teacher:
Can anyone name a disease?
Student:
I can sir.
Teacher:
Well done. Whose next?
There was no chemistry
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.
A little girl raises her hand "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
"That must've been scary", said the teacher.
"It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'....
And before he could say 'fuck', the Rottweiler ate him!"
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.
"Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.
A little girl raises her hand "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
"That must've been scary", said the teacher.
"It sure was", said the little girl.
"My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'....And before he could say 'fuck', the Rottweiler ate him!"
Dr Adams is holding forth to his college students on biology and anatomy. "Miss Baker, can you tell me which part of the human body can expand by up to 10 times, and under what conditions?"
Miss Baker blushes furiously, and says, "That is not an appropriate question to ask a lady, and I will report you to the Dean."
Dr Adams just nods and says, "Miss Conrad, same question."
Miss Conrad stands and says, "The pupil of the eye, under dim light."
Dr Adams nods again and says "Correct, full marks for Miss Conrad." Then he turns and says, "Miss Baker, I can tell you three things. First, you have not studied. Second, you have a dirty mind. Third, you are going to suffer a grave disappointment."
I guess my teacher didn't think "black people" was a good answer.
Here i was thinking it was the one they play in the church down the road!
A student is in biology lecture when the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's chemistry."
So the student later takes a chemistry lecture and the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's quantum mechanics."
So the student later takes a quantum mechanics course and the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's quantum mechanics."
Me being a biology student , I shouted - MITOSIS
A little girl raised her hand during a biology lesson and asked the teacher if her grandmother could have a baby.
The teacher surprised by the question explains that her grandmother would be too old to have a baby.
The little girl followed that up by asking if her mother could have a baby.
The teacher explains that although it was possible her mother is a bit old now so it was unlikely she would have a baby.
The little girl then asked "can I have a baby?"
"Of course not, you're much too young to have a baby" replied the teacher.
"See!" Said a voice at the back of the classroom. "I told you that you didn't have anything to worry about!"
One Student: "Relative Dating? This isn't Alabama!"
The fortune teller reads his palm and tells the frog, I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
The frog asks for the good news first.
The fortune teller says, You are going to meet the most beautiful girl, who is going to be very interested in you and will want to know all about you. She will want you to open up for her."
Great! says the frog. What's the bad news?
Well, you're going to meet her in biology class."
Because sex cells.
Sure teach, a specimen is an Italian astronaut!
It was something like Who's Lily and You aren't even in AP Biology
She must have never heard of the holocaust.
I was asked to name a parasite currently living in Britain.
Apparently 'Muslims' isn't the correct answer.
A frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is going meet a young girl.
The psychic tells him, "Yes, you are."
The frog replies, "Where? In a bar or at a party?"
The psychic says, "In biology class."
Apparently black people wasn't the right answer.
I'll see myself out.
Looks aren't everything, it's what inside you that really matters.
A few cells enter a bar. They sit in a corner and talk amongst themselves, drink moderately and don't pick up a fight with anyone. They leave the bar quietly.
Because they were cultured cells..
The frog grew curious and wanted to know when and where it would happen, to which the Oracle replied, 'next year, in a Biology lab'!
Process of elimination.
In Mike Rowe Economics and Mike Rowe Biology.
This is always the most successful joke I tell. Maybe you guys will like it.
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.
"Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began
"I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
"That must've been scary," said the teacher.
"It sure was," said the little girl.
"My kitty raised her back, went 'Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Fffffff,' but before she could say 'Fuck!,' the Rottweiler ate her!"
Cell culture.
Hey guys I need some jokes for my biology class to liven things up a bit so gimme your best. ( pick-up lines and puns also acceptable)
I replied, "where Native Americans live."
He comes upon a question: "What separates the head from the body?"
Ahmed answers: "The axe"
Biology 😉
I said "black people" and somehow that wasn't right
So, I'm sitting here, needing to write one more essay question for the exam I am giving shortly and have decided that I don't want it to be a serious question. It's only worth a couple of points and I don't mind giving students a couple of freebies. Exam is covering Mitosis/Meiosis/Mendelian genetics... Unfortunately I am not the creative type.
What I want to do is have some sort of riddle, just to see what types of answers students come up with..... Laughing makes grading exams much more enjoyable.
Any good ideas?
The males are called uncles
Because they had no CHEMISTRY.
"Will it happen at a ball?" he asks. "no , in a biology class"
He says "Everybody on the ground, I have a pistil!"
I almost got expelled in an Online Biology crash course earlier. They asked me what the major constituent of cells are.
Turns out, "black people" is NOT a good answer.
and when you wake up you cannot remember what class you are in. A demonstration is happening at the front of the class. How do you figure out where you are?
If the demo moves its biology, if it stinks its chemistry, and if it doesn't work its physics.
This morning she asked how I wanted my eggs.
I told her, "Ovariesy."
always had them hanging in his office. His BS in Biology, PhD in Microbiology, and his MD were framed and hung behind him.
One day his clinic caught fire and he was caught inside the burning building. They were finally able to pull his unconscious body from the rubble and rushed him to the emergency room.
He came to as they got him to the emergency room, and that's when the nurse on staff told him "it appears you have suffered from first, second, and third degree burns."
They lack chemistry.
Sex cells.
Multiplication in biology means reproduction, which is microscopically accomplished by cell division.
Because sex cells.
Thought of this joke while doing biology homework, is it any good?
He quickly flicks through it and realises something is missing.
"Where's your appendix page?"
"Easy", she says, and points to her lower abdomen.
**He gives great life lessons**
Because they have no Chemistry
An anatomy teacher was teaching the basics of male biology to her class. She explained what the urethra and testicles are to her class, when a student raised his hand and said,
"I thought that the urethra and testicles were just two different terms describing the same thing?"
The teacher responded,
"No, that's not correct. There's a vas deferens between the two."
Sex cells.
You can always guess the anther
That the entire team that worked on finding Nemo had to take fish biology 101. Then he says "so does it ever bother you that the fish are talking?"
That was the hardest I laughed in a while
Biodegraded
"**New study reveals migrating Crows' droppings may be responsible for great barrier barrier reef bleaching**"
The article receives widespread criticism from the scientific community. Marine biologists across the globe insist that coralation does not imply Cawsality.
My sister has always been fascinated with cell biology and she moved across state to attend a better college, moving her into her dorm we moved a dresser to benefit the small space she had and in doing so she dropped it on my foot. I yelled out MITOSIS!
(This is my first original joke be gentle)
To be honest, they kept getting cornea and cornea....
They bio-D-grade.
"Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions expands upto 6 times it's normal size?"
Mary gasped and said in a huff, " Mr. Rogers! That is a very inappropriate question. The principal will be hearing of this. " She sat down red faced.
"Susan, can you tell me the answer?" asked Mr. Rogers.
"The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions." said Susan.
"That is correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to you, Firstly, You have not studied your lesson.
Secondly, You have a dirty mind. And Third, boy are you going to be disappointed someday."
student:"What if it bites me and it dies?"
Teacher:"that means you're poisonous."
Student:"What if it bites itself and I die?"
Teacher:"It's voodoo."
Student:"What if it bites me and someone else dies?"
Teacher:"That's correlation, not causation."
Student:"what if we bite each other and neither of us die?"
Teacher:"that's kinky."
I never learned what's going on in Le Pen's head.
Because they have no chemistry
Apparently, black people wasn't the answer she was looking for.
A frog goes to a fortune-teller.
The fortune-teller looks into her crystal ball, and tells the frog, "You are going to meet a beautiful young lady, who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Where will I meet her?"
The fortune-teller says, "In her biology class."
Q) What do you find in cells?
My Ans) Black People
.
.
.
I dont know why do they ask such weird questions in biology.
Turns out, it was bio-D-gradable.
Thank god I switched to crack last week
We have collected gags that can be used as Biology pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Biology, here are one liners and funny Biology pick up lines.