Biology Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

I think I'm failing my marine biology class

My grade is below C level.

My biology teacher grew human vocal chords from stem cells in the lab, the results...

... speak for themselves

I failed my biology test today.

Apparently, "black guys" isn't the answer to the question "What is found in cells."

I failed a biology test today, they had asked me what was commonly found in cells

Apparently black people was not the answer.

In biology class my teacher asked "What is most commonly found in cells?"

Apparently "black people" was not the right answer

I missed a question on my biology exam today.

The question was "what are commonly found in cells?" I guess "black people" wasn't the right answer.

I asked my biology teacher how he makes his class so interesting

He told me: Sex cells.

So I took a biology test the other day...

One of the questions was, "name two things commonly found in cells."

Apparently, young blacks and latinos was not the right answer.

A depressed frog goes to visit a fortune teller

Hoping for good news he goes to meet with a fortune teller.

The fortune teller closes her eyes, makes some strange sounds, and finally says, "You will meet a beautiful young girl that will want to know everything about you"

The frog gets excited and says, "Wow! When will I meet her? At a party?"

"No," replied the fortune teller, "in her biology class."

my 14 year old came back with this after his biology class

Q. who was the Jewish prophet that led the water molecules across the partially permeable membrane?
A. osmoses

I was asked on a biology test "what is most commonly found in cells"

Black people was the wrong answer...

A frog

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His personal psychic advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says his advisor, "In her biology class."

I failed my AP Biology test...

They asked; "what is something commonly found in cells?"

Apparently black people wasn't the correct answer

I took my Biology exam last Friday

I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.

I failed my biology test today.

The question was: "What is commonly found in cells?"

Apparently, "African Americans" wasn't the correct answer.

My biology teacher asked me what was the ugliest vegetable IMO.

Apparently, Stephen Hawking was the wrong answer.

I was being mugged the other day...

The guy said, "Give me all your money or else you're biology!"
I said, "Don't you mean history?"
He told me "Don't change the subject!"

Why are eye jokes worse than toe jokes?

Because toe jokes may be cheesy, but eye jokes are cornea.
(Biology students roll up)

However, they're still full of humour.

Today I Failed my Biology Test.

One of the questions asked. What are normally found inside cells?

Apparently, 'Black People' was not the correct answer.

Why was the physics teacher and the biology teacher always fighting?

They didn't have any chemistry.

Biology Joke

Biology teacher:
Can anyone name a disease?

Student:
I can sir.

Teacher:
Well done. Whose next?

Why did the physics teacher breakup with the biology teacher ?

There was no chemistry

Stuttering Cat

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.

A little girl raises her hand "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary", said the teacher.

"It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'....

And before he could say 'fuck', the Rottweiler ate him!"

Do cats stutter?

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.

"Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.

A little girl raises her hand "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary", said the teacher.

"It sure was", said the little girl.

"My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'....And before he could say 'fuck', the Rottweiler ate him!"

Biology Lesson

Dr Adams is holding forth to his college students on biology and anatomy. "Miss Baker, can you tell me which part of the human body can expand by up to 10 times, and under what conditions?"

Miss Baker blushes furiously, and says, "That is not an appropriate question to ask a lady, and I will report you to the Dean."

Dr Adams just nods and says, "Miss Conrad, same question."

Miss Conrad stands and says, "The pupil of the eye, under dim light."

Dr Adams nods again and says "Correct, full marks for Miss Conrad." Then he turns and says, "Miss Baker, I can tell you three things. First, you have not studied. Second, you have a dirty mind. Third, you are going to suffer a grave disappointment."

I failed my biology test today. There was a question that asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"

I guess my teacher didn't think "black people" was a good answer.

You're not supposed to understand, it's.. (science joke)

A student is in biology lecture when the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's chemistry."

So the student later takes a chemistry lecture and the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's quantum mechanics."

So the student later takes a quantum mechanics course and the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's quantum mechanics."

Biology Lesson

A little girl raised her hand during a biology lesson and asked the teacher if her grandmother could have a baby.

The teacher surprised by the question explains that her grandmother would be too old to have a baby.

The little girl followed that up by asking if her mother could have a baby.

The teacher explains that although it was possible her mother is a bit old now so it was unlikely she would have a baby.

The little girl then asked "can I have a baby?"

"Of course not, you're much too young to have a baby" replied the teacher.

"See!" Said a voice at the back of the classroom. "I told you that you didn't have anything to worry about!"

In their biology class, students are given an activity that introduces them to relative dating...

One Student: "Relative Dating? This isn't Alabama!"

Why did the biology magazine put a picture of gametes on their cover?

Because sex cells.

The biology teacher asks Johnny if he can describe what a specimen is?

Sure teach, a specimen is an Italian astronaut!

A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out if he will ever be lucky in love...

The fortune teller reads his palm and tells the frog, I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?

The frog asks for the good news first.

The fortune teller says, You are going to meet the most beautiful girl, who is going to be very interested in you and will want to know all about you. She will want you to open up for her."

Great! says the frog. What's the bad news?

Well, you're going to meet her in biology class."

I remember my parent's reaction when I brought home my first A+ on a test

It was something like Who's Lily and You aren't even in AP Biology

My biology teacher said there is no evolutionary advantage to blue eyes.

She must have never heard of the holocaust.

I failed my Biology test yesterday

I was asked to name a parasite currently living in Britain.

Apparently 'Muslims' isn't the correct answer.

FROG'S DREAM GIRL

A frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is going meet a young girl.
The psychic tells him, "Yes, you are."
The frog replies, "Where? In a bar or at a party?"
The psychic says, "In biology class."

In biology they ask us what we find in cells

Apparently black people wasn't the right answer.

I'll see myself out.

Crappy biology bar joke

A few cells enter a bar. They sit in a corner and talk amongst themselves, drink moderately and don't pick up a fight with anyone. They leave the bar quietly.




Because they were cultured cells..

A frog wanted to know about his future and goes to meet an oracle. The oracle prophesied that in his future, he will be touched by a beautiful lady.

The frog grew curious and wanted to know when and where it would happen, to which the Oracle replied, 'next year, in a Biology lab'!

How do you pass a biology test on excretion?

Process of elimination.

The Stuttering Cat

This is always the most successful joke I tell. Maybe you guys will like it.

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.
"Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began
"I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
"That must've been scary," said the teacher.
"It sure was," said the little girl.
"My kitty raised her back, went 'Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Fffffff,' but before she could say 'Fuck!,' the Rottweiler ate her!"

Did you know the host of the Discovery Channel's show Dirty Jobs has 2 degrees?

In Mike Rowe Economics and Mike Rowe Biology.

What does prison have in common with biology?

Cell culture.

Little Ahmed is doing his biology homework.

He comes upon a question: "What separates the head from the body?"

Ahmed answers: "The axe"

My Biology Teacher Asked What ATP is...

I replied, "where Native Americans live."

Request: biology jokes

Hey guys I need some jokes for my biology class to liven things up a bit so gimme your best. ( pick-up lines and puns also acceptable)

What class does Tumblr hate the most?

Biology 😉

Help creating a biology joke to end my exam .

So, I'm sitting here, needing to write one more essay question for the exam I am giving shortly and have decided that I don't want it to be a serious question. It's only worth a couple of points and I don't mind giving students a couple of freebies. Exam is covering Mitosis/Meiosis/Mendelian genetics... Unfortunately I am not the creative type.

What I want to do is have some sort of riddle, just to see what types of answers students come up with..... Laughing makes grading exams much more enjoyable.

Any good ideas?

So my biology teacher asked me what are in cells...

I said "black people" and somehow that wasn't right

My Biology teacher told me ants are female

The males are called uncles

Why did the biology teacher and rhe physics teacher break up?

Because they had no CHEMISTRY.

A biology teacher runs into a bank holding a flower.

He says "Everybody on the ground, I have a pistil!"

My wife's a biology teacher...

This morning she asked how I wanted my eggs.

I told her, "Ovariesy."

You fall asleep in lecture

and when you wake up you cannot remember what class you are in. A demonstration is happening at the front of the class. How do you figure out where you are?

If the demo moves its biology, if it stinks its chemistry, and if it doesn't work its physics.

A male frog calls a medium line and he is told he'll meet a beautiful lady frog.

"Will it happen at a ball?" he asks. "no , in a biology class"

The Online Biology Class

I almost got expelled in an Online Biology crash course earlier. They asked me what the major constituent of cells are.

Turns out, "black people" is NOT a good answer.

A doctor who was proud of his degrees...

always had them hanging in his office. His BS in Biology, PhD in Microbiology, and his MD were framed and hung behind him.

One day his clinic caught fire and he was caught inside the burning building. They were finally able to pull his unconscious body from the rubble and rushed him to the emergency room.

He came to as they got him to the emergency room, and that's when the nurse on staff told him "it appears you have suffered from first, second, and third degree burns."

What did the prostitute biology teacher say?

Sex cells.

Why don't biology and physics get on?

They lack chemistry.

Why did the company use gametes in their commerical?

Because sex cells.


Thought of this joke while doing biology homework, is it any good?

I love my biology teacher....

**He gives great life lessons**

Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.

Multiplication in biology means reproduction, which is microscopically accomplished by cell division.

Paige finishes writing her biology dissertation and hands it in to the lecturer the following day.

He quickly flicks through it and realises something is missing.

"Where's your appendix page?"

"Easy", she says, and points to her lower abdomen.

Why does Physics hate Biology?

Because they have no Chemistry

If you don't know how to answer a question on a flower biology test...

You can always guess the anther

An anatomy teacher was teaching the basics of male biology...

An anatomy teacher was teaching the basics of male biology to her class. She explained what the urethra and testicles are to her class, when a student raised his hand and said,

"I thought that the urethra and testicles were just two different terms describing the same thing?"

The teacher responded,

"No, that's not correct. There's a vas deferens between the two."

Why do Biology teachers have to teach about Meiosis?

Sex cells.

What do you call it when your Biology grade is close to an F?

Biodegraded

I kept trying to think of puns about the eye during my biology lesson, when we dissected one.

To be honest, they kept getting cornea and cornea....

So I was telling my dad

That the entire team that worked on finding Nemo had to take fish biology 101. Then he says "so does it ever bother you that the fish are talking?"

That was the hardest I laughed in a while

Ouch

My sister has always been fascinated with cell biology and she moved across state to attend a better college, moving her into her dorm we moved a dresser to benefit the small space she had and in doing so she dropped it on my foot. I yelled out MITOSIS!

(This is my first original joke be gentle)

A questionable article on marine biology goes viral.

"**New study reveals migrating Crows' droppings may be responsible for great barrier barrier reef bleaching**"

The article receives widespread criticism from the scientific community. Marine biologists across the globe insist that coralation does not imply Cawsality.

Why do Physics and Biology teachers never get along?

Because they have no chemistry

My biology teacher flunked me when she asked me what is commonly found in cells.

Apparently, black people wasn't the answer she was looking for.

A student is going through some hypotheticals about snakes to their biology teacher

student:"What if it bites me and it dies?"

Teacher:"that means you're poisonous."

Student:"What if it bites itself and I die?"

Teacher:"It's voodoo."

Student:"What if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Teacher:"That's correlation, not causation."

Student:"what if we bite each other and neither of us die?"

Teacher:"that's kinky."

A frog goes to a fortune-teller

A frog goes to a fortune-teller.


The fortune-teller looks into her crystal ball, and tells the frog, "You are going to meet a beautiful young lady, who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Where will I meet her?"

The fortune-teller says, "In her biology class."

Signing up for Marine biology this semester was disappointing.

I never learned what's going on in Le Pen's head.

What do biology students do when they do poorly on a test?

They bio-D-grade.

Today in biology class we learnt about all the health problems related to cigarettes

Thank god I switched to crack last week

I hurt my foot a few days ago

Tripped over the stairs and partially separated my left big toenail. It's getting better, but it still hurts a fair bit.

Yesterday I was walking to class with a female friend of mine who's a cell biology major. I hadn't told her yet about what happened, so eventually she said "So why are you limping, anyway?"

I turned to her, looked her straight in the face, and without missing a beat, I said:

"My toe, sis!"

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

A Nobel Prize in biology.

I am genuinely terrified of my Biology Professor

I heard he has a lot of skeletons in his closet

My father teaches biology and Spanish..

Him: Ok, who can tell me what these are?

Me: (Raises hand) Soy Beans!

Him: Much gusto, Beans! Me llamo Dad.

You hear about the kid that threw his biology test in the trash, yet still managed to pass?

Turns out, it was bio-D-gradable.

Weird Question in Exam

Q) What do you find in cells?


My Ans) Black People


.
.
.

I dont know why do they ask such weird questions in biology.

What are the funniest biology jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Biology? Well, here are the best Biology puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Biology pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes