The Best 56 Biologist Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Biologist jokes. There are some biologist statistical jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these biologist marine biologist puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Biologist Jokes and Puns

A chemist and a biologist walk into a bar...

The chemist calls over the bartender and says, "I'll have an H2O please." The bartender nods and looks at the biologist. "I'll have an H2O too."

The biologist died.

Science Joke

A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.

The physicist saw the violent ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked out into the waves. He was pulled under and never returned.

The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked out to the ocean. He too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote in his journal, "Physicist and Biologist both soluble."

2 people walk into a building...

and 3 come out. A logistician says "There must have already been a person in the building". A biologist says "They must have reproduced", and a mathematician says "There are now negative one people in the building"

Biologist joke, 2 people walk into a building...

A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins...

...that
could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his
supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way
back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly
stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting
gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician...

...is sitting at a café watching the building across the road. They see one person entering the main door, and soon after, two persons leaving the building.

"Ah! They must have reproduced in there!" says the biologist.

"Nah, there must have been some error in our first measurement" says the physicist.

"If one person enters now", says the mathematician, "the building will be empty!".


A Chemist, a Biologist, and a Mathematician are all sitting at an outdoor cafe...

A chemist, a biologist, and a mathematician are all sitting at an outdoor cafe. Across the street is an old, abandoned house. As they sit, they watch two people go into the house. A short while later, three come out.
The chemist says: "the measurements were wrong."
The biologist says: "they reproduced."
The mathematician says "if one more person goes in, the house will be empty again!"

A Chemist, a Biologist, and a Mathematician...

Were sitting on a bench in front of a hotel, and see two people enter, then three people exit. The Chemist claims that they must have been an error in the initial measurements, the biologist says they must have procreated, thus creating another person, the mathematician states that if one more person enters the building, the building would then be empty.

Biologist joke, A Chemist, a Biologist, and a Mathematician...

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are observing an empty house.

They see a man walk into the house. An hour later, two men walk out of the house.

The physicist says, "There must have been an error when measuring the number of people entering the house!"

The biologist says, "The man must have somehow reproduced!"

The mathematician says, "There are now -1 people in the house."

A physicist, a biologist and a statistician go hunting.

They are hiding together in the bushes and they see a deer 70ft ahead of them. The physicist makes some calculations, aims and fires at the deer. His shot ends up 5ft to the left of the deer. The biologist analyzes the deer's movement, aims and fires. His shot ends up 5ft to the right of the deer. The statistician drops his rifle and happily shouts, "WE GOT IT!!"

An engineer, a biologist and a mathematician are watching a bar

As they watch, two people enter.

Later, three people leave.

The engineer says, "There was someone in there before."

The biologist says, "They must have reproduced."

The mathematician says, "If one more person enters there will be nobody left in the bar."

The difference between a crow and a raven.

A biologist was asked to finally determine whether crows and ravens are really two different birds. This has been a matter of some conjecture for quite some time. Given only a cursory glance, these birds appear to be one and the same. The biologist spent considerable time watching the birds in their habitat and logging hours of observations. Their beaks were the same, their feet and their bodies showed no variable difference. But, at last, a breakthrough. The long feathers at the tip of a birds wings, the pinion feathers, provided the conclusion that ravens and crows differ. A raven has four pinion feathers and a crow has five pinion feathers. So........................... The difference between ravens and crows is a matter of a pinion.

You can explore biologist scientific reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean biologist calculations dad jokes. There are also biologist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A physicist, a biologist, a programmer, and a mathematician ....

are sitting at a café across from an empty building.

They observe two people enter and then, later, three leave.

The physicist says, "Apparently there was some error with our measurements."

The biologist says, "Obviously, they reproduced while in the building."

The mathematician opines, "If now one more were to enter the building, it would again be empty."

And then the programmer replies "they must've used a backdoor".

What does a Native American Biologist live in?

ATP

I witnessed a murder today...

Though it may have just been a flock of jackdaws, I'm not a biologist.

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician sit at a bench in a park

They see a man walk into a shed. 10 minutes later, two people walk out.

The biologist says "It was reproduction",
the physicist says "It must be bad data",
but the mathematician doesn't say anything.

A few minutes later, someone else walks in the shed.

The mathematician goes "Ok, *now* nobody is in the shed"

A biologist, a physicist and a chemist visit the beach...

Three scientists visit the beach, a biologist, a physicist and a chemist.

The biologist is so amazed at the marine life that they walk into the ocean never to be seen again.

The physicist is so amazed by fluid dynamics that they walk into the ocean, never to be seen again.

The chemist looks at the ocean, picks up a stick and writes a simple observation in the sand. "Biologists and physicists are soluble in water."

Biologist joke, A biologist, a physicist and a chemist visit the beach...

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

"It's a Moray."

My biologist girlfriend was making competent cells at the lab today...

I asked if they were very sure of them cells.

Two biologists get married and have twin girls.

They name one Jessica and the other Control.


I recently had sex with a biologist at her laboratory.

I don't like to brag, but she had multiple organisms.

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting on a bench across from a house

They watch as two people walk in, and a while later three people walk out.

"The initial measurement was incorrect," says the physicist.

"They must have reproduced," says the biologist.

"If exactly one person goes in, the house will be empty," says the mathematician.

What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist?

A marine biologist.

A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"

A statistician, a mathematician, and a biologist are standing outside a house.

They watch two people walk in. A couple hours later, they watch three people walk out.

The statistician considers the problem for a moment, then thinks to himself: "Oh, we must have miscounted."

The biologist, naturally, goes through a similar moment of introspection before deciding, "Ah, they must have reproduced!"

Meanwhile, the mathematician arrived at the solution almost immediately: "If one person goes back into the house, it will be completely empty!"

Recycling is important...

I went to the bar last night. I saw two rather large ladies having a great time. They seemed to be speaking in an Irish accent. I sauntered over and asked them

"Are you ladies from Ireland?"

They responded, "It's Wales, you idiot!"

I apologized immediately and said
"Are you whales from Ireland?" I don't remember much after that.

I woke up as a marine biologist!

I once dated a biologist.

I don't like to brag, but I always provided her with multiple organisms to keep her happy.

A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist go to the beach...

The physicist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the fluid dynamics." The physicist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Then the biologist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the local marine life." The biologist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Lastly, the chemist looks out over the ocean and says "I have come to a conclusion, physicists and biologists are soluble in water!"

How can you tell the difference between a biologist and a chemist in the bathroom?

A biologist washes his hands after peeing, a chemist washes his hands before.

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were monitoring a house...

They saw one person walk in, but several months later they saw two walk out.

The biologist said: "They must've reproduced!"

The physicist said: "It must be a calculation error"

The mathematician said: "If one more walks in, the house will be empty"

A biologist is sent to prison,

The first words he says to his cell mate, "I am the mitochondria."

The law of averages

A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
They spot a deer and the biologist shoots and misses left by three feet. The chemist shoots and misses right three feet. The statistician shouts "WE HIT IT !"

The House Problem

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting on a bench, watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people enter the house; A while later, they watch three people leave the house.

The physicist says, The initial measurement wasn't accurate.

The biologist counters, They must have reproduced.

Finally, the mathematician suggests, If one more person enters the house, then it will be empty again.

A biologist gives birth ...........

A biologist gives birth to a set of twins. She names one Jessica and the other Control.

Did you hear about the white biologist stealing a petri dish from his black colleague?

It was a case of cultural appropriation.

What is it called when one biologist steals a petri dish from another biologist?

Cultural appropriation.

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting in a street cafe watching a house across the street.

They notice two people entering the house and, after a while, three people leaving the house.

"The measurement wasn't accurate!", says the physicist.

"They must have reproduced!", says the biologist.

The mathematician says, "Should one more person enter the house, then it will be empty."

A chemist, a biologist, and a statistician are out hunting...

The chemist spots a deer and takes a shot at it, but misses by 5 feet to the left. The biologist then fires but misses by 5 feet to the right. The statistician then proclaims "We got 'em!"

Nautilus

Two succesful marine biologists come back from their recent expedition, near the seas of Indonesia.

Biologist 1: You won't believe our results. We documented so many different types of fish, including a lot of nautiluses.

Biologist 2: It's not a lie.

My Marine Biologist friend was so excited about her job.

She said she's found her life porpoise.

A biologist, a logician, and a philosopher are driving down the road in County Clare...

They see the profile of a brown cow grazing in an adjacent meadow. The biologist says, "Look, Ireland has brown cows!" The logician says, "No, sir, all we can say for certain is that Ireland has at least one brown cow." The philosopher retorts, "Alas, my fair companions, all we can know for certain is that Ireland has at least one half of one brown cow."

A Texas Biologist

A Texas biologist, who discovered that the life of a porpoise could be prolonged indefinitely if it were fed a steady diet of seagulls, has been arrested at the Louisiana border. He faces charges of transporting gulls across state lines for immortal porpoises.

A Mathematician, a Biologist, and a Physicist...

are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.
The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate.".
The Biologist: "They have reproduced".
The Mathematician: "If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again."

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are relaxing on a hill

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are relaxing on a hill overlooking an abandoned house. They watch two people enter the house through a broken window. Time passes. Later they observe three people leave the house.

The physicist says, "Our measurements weren't accurate."

The biologist says, "They must have reproduced."

The mathematician says, "If one more person goes inside, the house will be empty."

A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist all stand in front of an empty house.

Suddenly, two people enter the house and after a couple of minutes, three people leave through the front door.

The biologist says - They must've reproduced!

The physicist says - This must be a measurement error!

The mathematician says - If one more person enters, the house will be empty!

A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach

A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach for the first time.

The biologist is amazed at the birds, the seaweed, the fish. He goes in the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is over his head. He drowns.

The physicist is mesmerized by the waves. The amplitude. The periodicity. The reflections. He goes in the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is over his head. He drowns.

The chemist is sitting on the beach making notes in his lab book. He writes, "Biologists and physicists are soluble in water"

What does a biologist wear on a first date?

Designer Genes

A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach.

A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach for the first time.


The biologist is amazed at the birds, the seaweed, the fish. He goes into the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is over his head. He drowns.


The physicist is mesmerized by the waves. The amplitude. The periodicity. The reflections. He goes into the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is aslo over his head. He drowns.


The chemist is sitting on the beach making notes in his lab book.

He writes, "Biologists and physicists are soluble in water."

A Marine Biologist walks into a lab,

She shouts, I think we found a way for cephalopods to discover fire!
The other scientist asks, how.
She responds with a CD,
By making them listen to my mixtape!

How does a good marine biologist work?

With a-fish-in-sea

A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist.

A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting on a Starbucks patio across from an abandoned building when a car pulls up, and two people get out and enter the building.

A few minutes go by, three people exit the building, get into the car and drive off.

"Hmm," says the physicist, "our original count must have been inaccurate."

"Ahh," says the biologist, "they must have reproduced!"

"Aha!" says the mathematician, "now if exactly one person enters the building, it will be empty again!"

A Chemist, Biologist, and Physicist were captured by Nazis

The Nazis had taken all three scientists to the woods and lined them up on their knees with their hands on their head. They were about to be executed.

The Nazis aim their guns, and the biologist screams "bear". The Nazis turn around expecting a bear, but none was there. The biologist had escaped the Nazis.

So they aim their guns again and the physicist yells "lightning". Again, the Nazis turn around to look for lightning but don't see any. The physicist had now escaped.

With just the chemist left, the Nazis aim their guns and the chemist yells "fire!".

A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting.

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right. The statistician yells We got 'em!

A meteorologist, a biologist, and a mathematician are eating breakfast.

They are sitting on a hill overlooking an office building which has just opened for the day. As they eat, they see 100 business people enter and 101 exit.

The meteorologist says, "Well within my margin of error".

The biologist says, "I suppose one of them gave birth".

The mathematician says, "That building currently contains -1 people."

The biologist

A biologist races into a bar in a celebratory mood. "I've done it!" he shouts to the bartender. "I've engineered immortal frogs!" "How's that?" asks the bartender. "I removed their vocal chords. They can't croak!"

A biologist walks up to his friend and says

Biologist : Hey wanna hear a joke?
Friend : sure, go ahead
Biologist : bone of the upper arm
Friend : wow, that's humerus

(I'm not even a dad and idk if this counts as a dad joke but anyways thought of this while studying biology so had to post it)

A microbiologist quit caring about his own health. He started gaining a lot of weight.

He's a biologist now.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the biologist experiment jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working biologist paleontologist piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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