Biologist Jokes
124 biologist jokes and hilarious biologist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about biologist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out our selection of biologist jokes that scientists, marine biologists, botanists and microbiologists will find amusing. Be sure to read our funny scientific jokes ready to make everyone giggle.
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Funniest Biologist Short Jokes
Short biologist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The biologist humour may include short botanist jokes also.
- Two biologists get married and have twin girls. They name one Jessica and the other Control.
- Why do cellular biologists never agree with mathematicians? For them, division and multiplication are the same thing.
- How can you tell the difference between a biologist and a chemist in the bathroom? A biologist washes his hands after peeing, a chemist washes his hands before.
- What did the biologist's sister say to her sister after she dropped a beaker on her foot... mitosis
- What is it called when one biologist steals a petri dish from another biologist? Cultural appropriation.
- I once dated a biologist. I don't like to brag, but I always provided her with multiple organisms to keep her happy.
- My biologist girlfriend was making competent cells at the lab today... I asked if they were very sure of them cells.
- What do you call a biologist that likes to be shamed & humliated in the bedroom? Biodegradable
- Say what you will about molecular biologists... But they sure know how to appreciate the little things in life.
- A biologist is sent to prison, The first words he says to his cell mate, "I am the mitochondria."
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Biologist One Liners
Which biologist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with biologist? I can suggest the ones about geologist and physicist.
- What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist? A marine biologist.
- What does a Native American Biologist live in? ATP
- How does a good marine biologist work? With a-fish-in-sea
- What do you call when Biologists go to church? Biomass
- What does a biologist wear on a first date? Designer Genes
- What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love? "It's a Moray."
- Why was the white biologist considered racist? Because he wanted to preserve his culture
- My dad wanted me to be a Marine Biologist... But, I'm too old to join the military.
- What did the biologist name his daughter? Anne Atomy
- Why are Biologists so obsessed with their own feet? It's always Mitosis, Mitos-that
- Im a Marine Biologist My Field of study is the naval infantry
- What happened to the biologist who swallowed mosquito larvae? She pupaed her pants.
- A physicist and a biologist had a bit of a relationship. But there wasn't any chemistry.
- Why did the biologist go to prison? He wanted to study the cells.
- What did the molecular biologist say when he showed his lab a magic trick? "TATA!"
Marine Biologist Jokes
Here is a list of funny marine biologist jokes and even better marine biologist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Marine biologists have discovered a group of killer whales that regularly meets and plays music together. They call it an orca-stra.
- Marine Biologists discovered a fish that can clean all the plastics in the ocean. It's called a Plastic Sturgeon. It will change the face of the ocean.
- From my 8 year old daughter. "What is a Marine Biologists favorite instrament?" The "Tambomarine" Badapisssh...
- My Marine Biologist friend was so excited about her job. She said she's found her life porpoise.
- What do a marine biologist and a drunk girl have in common? They're both worried about the seal!
- I asked my marine-biologist friend when is Whale Watching season? He said ," Year round if you sign up for Tinder"
- Marine biologists were baffled by why Jaws would always swim away after chomping off swimmers' legs. Turns out he's lack toes intolerant.
- What did the skeptical marine biologist say before her first day of work? I think I'm just gonna test the waters...
- What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags it's tale, the other tags a whale.
- I was thinking of dating this girl I met. She's an marine biologist who works on a submarine. But between you and me, I think she's a little out of my league.
Molecular Biologist Jokes
Here is a list of funny molecular biologist jokes and even better molecular biologist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the molecular biologist say to their SO who also happened to be a molecular biologist? You need to stop thinking about nuclei and start thinking about nucleus
- Why did the molecular biologist not like his bacon? He preferred it a little Crispr
- I once met a molecular biologist. His name's Gene.
Ridiculous Biologist Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about biologist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean biology jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make biologist pranks.
A chemist and a biologist walk into a bar...
The chemist calls over the bartender and says, "I'll have an H2O please." The bartender nods and looks at the biologist. "I'll have an H2O too."
The biologist died.
Science Joke
A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.
The physicist saw the violent ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked out into the waves. He was pulled under and never returned.
The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked out to the ocean. He too, never returned.
The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote in his journal, "Physicist and Biologist both soluble."
2 people walk into a building...
and 3 come out. A logistician says "There must have already been a person in the building". A biologist says "They must have reproduced", and a mathematician says "There are now negative one people in the building"
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins...
...that
could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his
supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way
back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly
stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting
gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
Why did the marine biologist jump off a bridge?
He lost his porpoise in life.
The difference between a crow and a raven.
A biologist was asked to finally determine whether crows and ravens are really two different birds. This has been a matter of some conjecture for quite some time. Given only a cursory glance, these birds appear to be one and the same. The biologist spent considerable time watching the birds in their habitat and logging hours of observations. Their beaks were the same, their feet and their bodies showed no variable difference. But, at last, a breakthrough. The long feathers at the tip of a birds wings, the pinion feathers, provided the conclusion that ravens and crows differ. A raven has four pinion feathers and a crow has five pinion feathers. So........................... The difference between ravens and crows is a matter of a pinion.
Larry is a biologist who prefers to observe his deep-sea specimens up close in the field
He works well under pressure
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I witnessed a m**... today...
Though it may have just been a flock of jackdaws, I'm not a biologist.
Two biologists are discussing a new book on amphibians...
Biologist 1: What did you think of the chapter on frogs?
Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting.
A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician sit at a bench in a park
They see a man walk into a shed. 10 minutes later, two people walk out.
The biologist says "It was reproduction",
the physicist says "It must be bad data",
but the mathematician doesn't say anything.
A few minutes later, someone else walks in the shed.
The mathematician goes "Ok, *now* nobody is in the shed"
A biologist, a physicist and a chemist visit the beach...
Three scientists visit the beach, a biologist, a physicist and a chemist.
The biologist is so amazed at the marine life that they walk into the ocean never to be seen again.
The physicist is so amazed by fluid dynamics that they walk into the ocean, never to be seen again.
The chemist looks at the ocean, picks up a stick and writes a simple observation in the sand. "Biologists and physicists are soluble in water."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Biologists have jokes too
Biologist: What's the quickest way to determine the s**... of a chromosome?
Dan: I don't know.
Biologist: Pull down its genes. ^^^^get ^^^^it?
A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train...
Looking out the window, they see what appears to be a black sheep.
The biologist says : "Interesting, in this region, sheep are black!"
The physicist says : "Not so fast! We only saw one black sheep!"
The mathematician says : "To be exact, we only saw a sheep that was black on one side."
While there are many important jobs, only a Marine Biologist's job gives them porpoise.
Valentine's joke
A physicist and biologist started dating but broke up. Why did they not make up?
Cause they had no chemistry!
A physicist, a biologist, and a geologist walk into a bar.
The physicist immediately liquors up and attempts to pick up chicks with his top secret details about a new slightly-cooler-than-molten-hot fusion project he's working on.
The biologist attempts to pick up chicks with stories about him working with baby elephants in Thailand.
The geologist says "Ouch".
Why do marine biologists have such a high job satisfaction rate?
Because they find their work gives their lives a great deal of porpoise.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Marine Biologists
A team of marine biologists accidentally catch a porpoise in one of their nets. They about to let it go, when they notice it has feet! They study it and perform tests, and are now ready to release it. One of the biologists asks, "Why don't we cut its feet off?" To which the other replies, "That would defeat the porpoise!"
A statistician, a mathematician, and a biologist are standing outside a house.
They watch two people walk in. A couple hours later, they watch three people walk out.
The statistician considers the problem for a moment, then thinks to himself: "Oh, we must have miscounted."
The biologist, naturally, goes through a similar moment of introspection before deciding, "Ah, they must have reproduced!"
Meanwhile, the mathematician arrived at the solution almost immediately: "If one person goes back into the house, it will be completely empty!"
Apart from designers, what profession is the best at making clothes?
Biologists, they work with genes all the time.
A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist go to the beach...
The physicist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the fluid dynamics." The physicist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Then the biologist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the local marine life." The biologist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Lastly, the chemist looks out over the ocean and says "I have come to a conclusion, physicists and biologists are soluble in water!"
What did the whale say to the diver?
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooo."
What did the whale say to the marine biologist?
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooo."
What did the whale say to my wife?
"Hey; you should lose weight."
A Mathematician, a Biologist, and an Engineer walk into a bar.
Nobody there cares about their professions, and they just order drinks.
When the marine biologist discovered the first ten legged squid with toes, he said...
Ten-toe-cles
I'm sorry. I couldn't help it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why couldnt the guy hold a conversation with the female transgender marine biologist?
They didn't agree on a lot of things, but a big part of it was he didn't speak whale.
Note: In my defense I don't discriminate except by how I know a person. I have friends on all sides of the NFL hype, s**... rights hype, and abortion debate. But this joke gets laughs among them all.
I saw a news article about how some wildlife biologists wanted to learn more about water buffalo, so they put on shaggy costumes and tried to join a herd.
But it was just fake gnus.
What do you call an American soldier who studies plants/animals?
A marine biologist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know biologist James Watson was a foot fetishist?
His favorite s**... act was double heel licks.
Never go to a party where a scientist is doing the cooking.
If they're a physicist, everything will come out underdone because they'll have assumed a closed energy system.
If they're a biologist, you'll never actually get to eat anything because they'll insist on first feeding it to the cat, waiting a year, feeding it to your neighbour, and then waiting another year.
And if they're a chemist, they'll follow the recipe perfectly, but insist on doing everything ten times to avoid random error.
Following US politics is like watching a mad biologist at work.
You can see an orange going bananas right before your eyes.
Did you hear about the biologist who grew a new bacteria that affected all races equally?
It was a PC culture.
Why did the biologist lock himself in jail with an engineer, a physicist and a medical doctor?
Because he wanted to work with STEM Cells
What did one marine biologist say to the other?
A life without meaning is a life without porpoise
Some sea mammals sleep with half their brain in deep sleep and the other half wide awake
This was developed as an evolutionary mechanism for survival, but biologists have documented a similar mechanism in workers at the DMV
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had s**... with a marine biologist who had s**... with 7 other guys before me today
she had an octo-p**...
Why did the Chemist and Physicist refuse to hang out with the Biologist?
Because he had terrible bi.o
Nautilus
Two succesful marine biologists come back from their recent expedition, near the seas of Indonesia.
Biologist 1: You won't believe our results. We documented so many different types of fish, including a lot of nautiluses.
Biologist 2: It's not a lie.
A biologist, a logician, and a philosopher are driving down the road in County Clare...
They see the profile of a brown cow grazing in an adjacent meadow. The biologist says, "Look, Ireland has brown cows!" The logician says, "No, sir, all we can say for certain is that Ireland has at least one brown cow." The philosopher retorts, "Alas, my fair companions, all we can know for certain is that Ireland has at least one half of one brown cow."
Biologists are otakus.
They keep watching Cells At Work.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^dididobetter
A Texas Biologist
A Texas biologist, who discovered that the life of a porpoise could be prolonged indefinitely if it were fed a steady diet of seagulls, has been arrested at the Louisiana border. He faces charges of transporting gulls across state lines for immortal porpoises.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A biologist specialized in bovine e**... found a specimen and exclaimed
"This is b**...!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A questionable article on marine biology goes viral.
"**New study reveals migrating Crows' droppings may be responsible for great barrier barrier reef bleaching**"
The article receives widespread criticism from the scientific community. Marine biologists across the globe insist that coralation does not imply Cawsality.
Great white shark diet surprises scientists
"It consists mostly of wildlife biologists that study sharks," said a famous wildife biologist studying sharks.
What do you call an evolutionary biologist that doesn't like people?
An Antisocial Darwinist
A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist all stand in front of an empty house.
Suddenly, two people enter the house and after a couple of minutes, three people leave through the front door.
The biologist says - They must've reproduced!
The physicist says - This must be a measurement error!
The mathematician says - If one more person enters, the house will be empty!
A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach
A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach for the first time.
The biologist is amazed at the birds, the seaweed, the fish. He goes in the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is over his head. He drowns.
The physicist is mesmerized by the waves. The amplitude. The periodicity. The reflections. He goes in the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is over his head. He drowns.
The chemist is sitting on the beach making notes in his lab book. He writes, "Biologists and physicists are soluble in water"
A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach.
A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach for the first time.
The biologist is amazed at the birds, the seaweed, the fish. He goes into the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is over his head. He drowns.
The physicist is mesmerized by the waves. The amplitude. The periodicity. The reflections. He goes into the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is aslo over his head. He drowns.
The chemist is sitting on the beach making notes in his lab book.
He writes, "Biologists and physicists are soluble in water."
A Marine Biologist walks into a lab,
She shouts, I think we found a way for cephalopods to discover fire!
The other scientist asks, how.
She responds with a CD,
By making them listen to my mixtape!
A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist.
A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting on a Starbucks patio across from an abandoned building when a car pulls up, and two people get out and enter the building.
A few minutes go by, three people exit the building, get into the car and drive off.
"Hmm," says the physicist, "our original count must have been inaccurate."
"Ahh," says the biologist, "they must have reproduced!"
"Aha!" says the mathematician, "now if exactly one person enters the building, it will be empty again!"
