Billy Kid Jokes
27 billy kid jokes and hilarious billy kid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about billy kid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Billy Kid Short Jokes
Short billy kid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The billy kid humour may include short billy jokes also.
- Michael Jackson should have opened a clothing line for pants. He could have called it Billie Jeans.
Those prices are THRILLER!
No one can BEAT IT!
Kids pants would be half off there. - Scientist have found a rare mutation in some goats... It's called the Billy gene and causes them to believe that the kid is not their son.
- "Alright kids, I just got off the phone. Now, raise your hands if your parents are still alive!" "Not so fast, Billy."
- A teacher asked in class: How is your dad? A kid sits up and tries to answer: My dad is a legend for me!
- Why, Billy? asked the teacher.
- Because he doesn't exist! - My dad's better than your dad... Three kids are in an agruement about who's dad is better.
"My dad's a fireman" said Billy.
"My dad's a marine!" said Johnny.
"My dad's invisible." said Brian. - Billie Jean is not my lover She just a girl who says that i am the one
But the kid is not my son.
He can stay over for the weekend though - Billy is the perfect name for a newborn goat. As a child, it'll be "Billy the Kid." As an adult, it'll be a "Billy Goat."
- How do you consider your dad? asked a teacher My dad is a legend for me! says a kid.
Why, Billy? asked the teacher.
Because I've never met him
Share These Billy Kid Jokes With Friends
Billy Kid One Liners
Which billy kid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with billy kid? I can suggest the ones about little billy and young kid.
- Why did Billy eat an ice pack? All of the cool kids had done it.
- Whos jared fogles favorite outlaw... ...Billy the kid
Billy Kid Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about billy kid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hillbilly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make billy kid pranks.
A husband and a wife over their marriage had eight kids.One day the husband notices that their sixth kid, Billy, looks very different from the other seven.
The husband goes to his wife and asks her, Honey, I noticed that Billy looks different from the other children, did you have an affair?
The wife starts to break down into tears and nods her head.
The husband, heartbroken, quietly asks his wife, So who is Billy's father?
You.
A woman from the ghetto is in the grocery store with a whole crew of kids...
She yells out, "Billy!" and nine boys come running and line up by the door.
A passer-by laughs to himself and asks, "Did you name all your sons Billy?"
"Yup. Makes calling them for dinner a lot easier."
"What happens when you only need to talk to one of them?"
"Then I just call them by their last name."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 little kids, Billy and Tom, are goofing around in a cannibal village. Billys mum sticks her head out and yells...
"Billy, stop playing with your food!"
So I heard this word problem from grade school.....
If you have five crystals, and billy takes four crystals, and sally gives you two crystals, how many crystals do you have?
It was then that I realized the kids were all doing crystal math.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One teacher snickered to another I hear Billy in your class is a real genius.
To which she became irritated and replied Sarcasm: just what these kids need...
Four kids were being tried in court after some foul behavior at the zoo.
The judge asked each one of them to come forward, say their names, and what they had done.
The first child stepped forward and said, "My name is Jimmy, and I threw peanuts in the elephant pen."
The next said, "My name is Susan, and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
"My name is Billy," said the third kid, "and I also threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
The fourth child then stepped forward and said, "My name is Peanuts."
Social services are talking to a recneck woman about her ten kids...
Social service guy: "ok miss, what's the first boy called?"
Recneck woman: "Billy-Joe"
SS guy: "and the second one?"
RW: "Billy-Joe"
The SS guy pauses for a second and asks "What's the third child called?"
RW: "Billy-Joe"
Ss guy: "hold on... Are ALL your boys caked Billy-Joe?"
RW: "They sure are."
SS: "doesn't that get confusing"
RW: "Naw, it helps. If I want the house clean I say "Billy-Joe clean up!" And they ALL clean up. At tea time I shout "Billy-Joe, food time" and they all come running."
SS guy: "but what if you need one specific boy?"
RW: "That's easy... I shout their surname."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Timmy's english lesson...
...was about food today.
"Good morning class" says the teacher, "today's lesson is about food! Let's start by mentioning things we can eat. Come on kids."
Sally raises her arm "bread!"
"Very good, Sally!" Says the teacher.
"Cornflakes!" says Billy.
"Good one, cornflakes! Anyone else?"
Timmy raises his hand and yells "Lamps!'
The teacher pauses for a moment, confused: "Lamps? You can't eat lamps, what made you think that?"
Timmy: "well last night I was walking past my parent's bedroom and I heard my dad say to my mom: turn off the lamp cause I'm gonna shove it down your t**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little jimmys mom told him that if he ever did a bad thing as punishment he would turn to stone....
One day jimmy went down to the pond with him friend Billy to fish when they saw a beautiful woman n**... swimming in the pond the two kids watched in awe when suddenly jimmy ran away scarred
Jimmy ran home to his mom crying saying "sorry I did a bad thing!" "What did you do asked jimmy's mom?" Jimmy wiped away a tear and said "I saw a n**... lady in the pond and I got scarred because I started to feel like I was turning to stone so I ran."
Inside a supermarket, a woman spots........
a grandfather and his poorly behaved three-yearold grandson. Easy, Billy, says grandfather calmly. We won't be long.
In the cookie aisle, the woman hears the kid whining some more, I want cookies! Gimme cookies!
It's OK Billy, just a couple more minutes, and we'll be out of here. Just hang on; you're doing great, says the grandfather.
At the check out, the kid screams, CANDY! I want candy!
Billy, Billy, relax, pal. Don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes.
The woman is impressed. You're amazing, she tells the grandfather. You kept your composure no matter how loud he got. Billy is very lucky to have you as a grandpa.
Thanks, replies the grandfather. But I'm Billy. The little twerp is Michael.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
billy joe r**... has 10 kids...
so he decides its time for a vasectomy. he goes to the doctor who explains the procedure and the cost. billy joe asks if theres a cheaper way to handle this... the doc says "aren't you billy joe the r**...? heres what you need to do, drink a six pack, but in the last can light a cherry bomb, drop it in, then count to ten! You only need to buy the beer and the cherry bomb." Billy joe is sceptical, but takes the doctors advise. He downs a sixpack, put a lit cherry bomb in the sixth can and starts counting... 1....2...3....4....5. (places can between legs so he can use his other fingers...)
There was a Gay guy named Billy
Billy was dating a bisexual guy named Jordan. Recently, however, Jordan has started going to parties on Friday nights without inviting Billy. Billy, thinking that Jordan was ashamed of dating a guy, asks to go with him one day.
When they arrive at the bar, he notices that Jordan is not holding his hands like he usually does. When they walk in, a short, drunk blonde girl who wraps her arms around his waist. Jordan introduces the girl as Jean, who tells Billy that she's heard a lot about him. Billy wonders if he told her about their relationship and starts to get jealous. He tells Jordan that he's going to go home early.
Jordan follows him to the door and asks why he is leaving. Billy just says that he is not having fun and tells him to have fun with his "friend". Jordan realizes what this was all about and tells him that the girl was just someone he used to date. She recently had a child and he wanted to know whether the child was his or not.
Billy doesn't believe Jordan's story. He rolls his eyes and starts walking away again. However, Jordan stops him and looks him right in the eye. Then, he says, "Billy, Jean is not my lover. She's just some girl who said that I am the one. But the kid is not my son."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny was at school one day, when he noticed that there was a large crowd of kids gathered around Little Billy.
Little Johnny walks up to Little Billy and says "Hey what's all the excitement about",
Little Billy says "Just showing everyone my new watch".
Little Johnny goes "Wow, that's a cool watch where did you get it?"
Little Billy says "Well, I walked in on my mom and dad having s**... over the weekend, and my dad was so mad he gave me spanking and sent me to my room".
The next day, he feel guilty about what he had done and went and bought me this cool Watch.
This gives Little Johnny a good idea.
Later that night, when Little Johnny was sent to bed, he stayed up listening and waiting for his mom and dad to go to bed.
Once he starts hearing noises coming from their room he runs down the hall, throws their bedroom door open, and yells "I want a watch!"
His dad looks over to Johnny and says "Well okay, but sit in the corner and be quiet!"
Billy was excited about his first day at school.
So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom.
So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick.
Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can’t find it," he admitted.
The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now.
Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and went on his way.
A short while later he returned to the class room and said to the teacher "I still can’t find it."
Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who had been at the school for awhile, to help Billy find the bathroom.
So Tommy and Billy left the classroom together and five minutes later they both return and sat down at their seats.
The teacher asked Tommy "Well, did you find it?"
Tommy was quick with his reply. "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards."
Billy, learned at school that everybody has secrets.
So, he decided to take advantage of it.
One day, as he came home from school, he went in front of his mother and told her: "Mommy, mommy! I know everything!"
His mom, obviously scared to death: "Here, take a 100 euros and say NOTHING to your father about it, okay?"
"Okay mommy!" says Billy and leaves the room with a big smile on his face.
When his dad came from work, he did the same to him as well: "Daddy, daddy! I found out everything!"
Numb, his father puts his hand on his pocket: "Here, take a 100 euros and say NOTHING to your mother, okay?"
"Okay!" says Billy with a bigger smile on his face.
The next morning, on his way to school, he sees the Postman.
He thought he could try it to him too: "Mr. Focker, I know everything!"
The Postman, the minute he heard it, fell on his knees and wide opened his arms: "Then, come... Come closer... My son!"