Billions Dollars Jokes
77 billions dollars jokes and hilarious billions dollars puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about billions dollars that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Billions Dollars Short Jokes
Short billions dollars jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The billions dollars humour may include short billion jokes also.
- If you had to choose between a billion dollars or world peace... how many bedrooms would your mansion have?
- Greece announced they are going to default on their nearly 1.8 billion dollar loan Who would've thought the country that invented the philosophy major would be broke?
- How come Jeff Bezos spending 13 billion makes the news? I spent 13 billion dollars last week at Whole Foods as well and all I got was some vegan avocado toast.
- I'm working on my second Billion dollars. My first billion didn't work out so I've moved on to my second.
- Borrow a million dollars, and the bank owns you. Borrow a 100 billion dollars and you own the bank.
Borrow $69 trillion dollars and you are the United States of America. - I told Alexa to rent "Everything, Everywhere, All at Once" Now I have a billion-dollar credit card charge and 48 hours to watch everything, everywhere, all at once.
- What's the quickest way to become a millionaire in the stock market? Invest a billion dollars.
- Bill Gates has often claimed how hard it is to give away 100 billion dollars. Then he discovered divorce.
- I just got a job processing transactions for a global multi-billion dollar company! I'm so thankful to McDonald's for this opportunity.
- I got in touch with my inner self today at Disney World I can't believe that a multi billion dollar company can't afford 3 ply toilet paper.
Share These Billions Dollars Jokes With Friends
Billions Dollars One Liners
Which billions dollars one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with billions dollars? I can suggest the ones about million dollars and one billion.
- Did you hear what sandy did to New Jersey? A few billion dollars worth of improvements
- How do you build a muli-million dollar company? Sell it to Elon for $44 billion.
- What do you call a billion-dollar yarmulke startup? A Jewnicorn
- The powerball 1.3 billion dollars
- If you could choose between getting a billion dollars or killing Ajit Pai..
Rib-Tickling Billions Dollars Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about billions dollars you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean thousands dollars jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make billions dollars pranks.
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks it up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes out of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you hate the most.”
The explorer says, “That’s gotta be my ex-wife. Why?” “I am a cursed genie. I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your ex-wife will get double that amount.” “Okay, I wish for a billion dollars.” “Granted, but you ex-wife gets two billion dollars.” “I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tennis courts, everything.” “Granted, and your ex-wife gets two."
"Now make your final wish.” The explorer walks around for a few minutes, returns to the genie with a stick, and says, “You see this stick? I’d like you to beat me half to death.”
Q: Why shouldn't Facebook have paid $1 billion dollars for Instagram?
A: They could've downloaded it for free!
It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA;
they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime.
As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Lowenstein, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.
He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it.
"Mr. President," said Dr. Lowenstein, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars."
He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown.
He said, "But that’s impossible... we could never do it. Yes Mr. President,” and hung up the phone.
He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously.
"I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we’ve found intelligent life on Mars... he wants us to try to find it in Congress."
Uber lost over a billion dollars in the last six months so they're asking their drivers to check between the seat cushions.
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day.
The professor says I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read? so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says I'll be an artist so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says I got a masters degree in art.
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Your wife gets double what you get...
My dad told me this joke last night at dinner:
A guy finds a lantern, opens it up and a magical Genie appears. The Genie says he will grant the man 3 wishes but whatever the man wishes for, his wife gets double.
The man wishes for 20 Ferraris and the genie replies "Then your wife will get 40" the man replies "Okay, I'm fine with that." The man gets his 20 Ferraris.
The man then wishes for $500 Million dollars, the genie says "Then your wife will get $1 Billion dollars." "Okay, that's fine." The man gets his $500 Million dollars.
The genie then asks "What is your last wish?"
The man replies "I want to get beaten half to death."
Is this the Rinehart method?
One billionaire was asked how he made his fortune, the fact being known that he was flat broke when he was young. He told this story: he was once wandering the streets hungry and with only 10 cents in his pockets. Saw someone selling some rather unattractive looking apples for 10 cents a piece. He bought one apple and as he was about to eat it, he got an idea. Polished the apple and as it was now much better presenting, he was able to sell it for 20 cents. Which he then used to buy two apples, which he polished and sold for 40 cents. Which he used to buy four apples, earning 80 cents, buying eight apples... and then his childless uncle died and left him a billion dollars.
Tom and his hot wife were playing golf when the ball suddenly goes inside someone's house :
Tom and his hot wife were playing golf when the ball suddenly goes inside someone's house :
They enter the house and see a broken bottle and a man.
Man: I want to thank you. I am a genie who was trapped for 1000 years in the bottle. I will give you both 1 wish each, and I will keep 1 wish for myself.
Tom: I want a billion dollars!
Wife: I want a house in every country of the world. ??
Genie: Done. Done.
Tom : And what is your wish genie?
Genie: Well, since I haven't loved a woman in a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife.
Tom said: Emm Ok! You're getting us a lot of money. I guess I don't mind. ??
The genie took the wife upstairs and slept with her for two hours.
After it was over he asked her: How old is your husband?
Wife answers: 35.
Genie: Really? And he still believes in genie stories
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Genie in a Bottle
A brunette is walking through the desert and comes across a genie, who tells her he will grant her three wishes. However, everything she wishes for, every blonde in the world would get twice as much.
The Brunette ponders this a while then makes her first wish. "I wish for the nicest mansion in the world." The genie nods and says it is done. However, every blonde in the world gets two mansions.
"I wish for a billion dollars." The genie nods and says it is done. However, every blonde in the world gets two billion dollars.
Thinking long and hard about her last wish, the brunette finally comes to a decision. "You see that stick over there?..... Beat me HALF to death with it!"
Nescafe and the Pope
Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.
After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers,
"Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to
donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from
'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily
coffee."
The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the
Lord. It must not be changed."
"Well," said the Nescafe man, "we anticipated your reluctance. For
this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million."
"My son, it is impossible, for the prayer is the word of the Lord and
it must not be changed."
The Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your
adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer.... We will
donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great
Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give
us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'
Please consider it."
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
"There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news.The good
news is that the Church will come into $500 million.'"
"And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.
"We're losing the Wonder-Bread account."
A Kentucky Fried Chicken lobbyist meets with the Pope.
He offers a donation of ten million dollars to the church if the Pope agrees to change the words in the Lord's Prayer from give us this day our daily bread to give us this day our daily chicken
The Pope apologizes and says he is not interested.
100 million dollars , says the KFC rep.
Again the Pope shakes his head and explains that these words are sacred.
One billion dollars. This is our final offer.
After some consideration of the sum of the donation that the church is about to receive, the Pope reluctantly agrees to the deal. He then returned to the Vatican and called a meeting of all the Cardinals.
I have good news and bad news, the Pontiff said. The good news is, I have managed to secure a donation of one billion dollars to our church. The bad news is, we've lost the Wonder Bread account.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man stumbles upon a magic lamp
A man stumbles upon a magic lamp and out comes a genie. The genie says, "I will grant you any three wishes you want, but whatever you wish for I will give your mother-in-law double."
The man agrees to the terms and says, "I wish for a billion dollars." Instantly, he has a billion dollars and his mother-in-law has two billion dollars.
The man then says, "I wish for a 10,000 square foot home on 100 acres." The genie grants his wish and gives his mother-in-law a 20,000 square foot home on 200 acres.
Finally, the man cleverly says, "I wish for you to beat me half to death."
The Pope's Coffee - From my grandfather
Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the pope at the Vatican .
After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, "Your Eminence, we have an offer for you.
Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'"
The pope responds, "That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord. It must not be changed."
"Well," says the Nescafe man, "we anticipated your reluctance. For this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million."
"My son, it is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord, and it must not be changed."
The Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer... We will donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.' Please consider it."
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
"There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news. The good news is that the Church will come into $500 million."
"And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.
"We're losing the Wonderbread account."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a fellow is walking along the beach...
...and he finds a lamp. "Oh boy," thinks he, and rubs the lamp. Out pops a very angry looking genie. "I am the divorce genie! You get three wishes, but for whatever you wish, I will grant your ex-wife double!"
The fellow thinks a bit. First, he wishes for a billion dollars. Second, he wishes for an island villa. Duly, the genie grants his wishes, but informs him snarkily that his ex-wife has received double, and inquires as to his third wish.
"Genie," he intones with a smirk, "I wish that you would beat me half to death."
A government worker was sitting at his desk at the Capitol...
when he received a package. He opened it, and found that there was an ancient lamp in it. Recalling stories of magic lamps, he rubbed it, and out popped a genie. The genie said, "I will grant you three wishes, but be careful what you wis-"
"Give me a hundred billion dollars!" The man interrupted.
The genie snapped his fingers, and the man was instantly surrounded by stacks of hundred dollar bills.
The man cried, "Bring me to my own private island with hundreds of supermodels!"
The genie snapped his fingers, and there on the island they were. The government worker was thinking of his third wish when he got a text from his boss.
Groaning, the man said to the genie, "I don't want to do any work in my life."
The genie snapped his fingers, and the man was back at his desk.
Putin is at a press conference...
Reporter: Good day, I'm John Smith from the Coca-Cola company. Mr president I have a question. You've been trying to get the old times back, and bringing the good old communism back.
Putin: Communism bring back russia, yes
Reporter:Why don't you also bring the old red flag back? And maybe we will close a 5 billion dollar deal if you put our logo very tiny in a little corner...
Putin: Hmm, I have discuss this
*Putin whispers to his Prime Minister*: Psst, Medvedev, when ends the Aquafresh contract?
One Billion Funny Joke
According to a recent government publication ...
A billion seconds ago Harry Truman was president.
A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ.
A billion hours ago man had not yet walked on earth.
A billion dollars ago was late yesterday at the U.S. Treasury.
I'm calling it now: I'm going to discover the cure for blindness and make billions of dollars someday.
You'll all see.
I handled financial transactions at a multi-billion dollar international corporation.
In other words, I'm a cashier at McDonald's.
A: What do you do for a living? B: I handle transactions for a multi-billion dollar company.
A: How much do you make?
B: $18,000
A: An hour?
B No, per year.
A: I thought you said you handled transactions for a multi-billion dollar company?
B: I DO! I'm a cashier at McDonalds.
Iran is 3 billion dollars short of hiding a Nuclear program
What can they do to get the money?
A billionaire has a billion dollars. A millionaire has a million dollars. What do you call a person with ten dollars?
A college student.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man finds a magic lamp while walking.
He rubs it and out pops a Genie.
Genie - *"You have three wishes but there's a catch. Whatever you wish for your wife gets double"*
Man - *"Okay great, for my first wish I want a 50 room mansion on a 100 acres of land"*
Genie - *"Granted, your wife gets a 100 room mansion on 200 acres"*
Man - *"For my second wish I wish for one Billion dollars"*
Genie - *"Granted, but remember, your wife gets two Billion"*
Man - *"That's perfect, for my last wish, take that stick over there and beat me half to death with it..."*
Hillary and Donald are just like Joker and Harley Quinn...
A multi billion dollar industry is going out of their ways to make them look like good guys
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Donald Trump's hair and a wet raccoon?
A wet raccoon doesn't have 4 billion f**...' dollars in the bank
What is the best way to get called a ,"genius?"
...by losing a billion dollars in business.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man stuck in a traffic jam
some guy came and knocked on his windows and said "Donald Trump has been kidnapped, the kidnappers ask for 1 billion dollars or they will burn him with gasoline , we're asking for donation "
So the man in the car asked and on average how much does a person donate?
so the guy replies "between one gallon and two gallons "
Zimbabwe's currency is so devalued...
That rapper "50 cent" is known as "40 billion dollar"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Washington D.C. was in complete gridlock...
As I stewed in traffic wondering what was causing it, a guy comes up and knocks on my window.
"What's it all about?" I ask.
"You haven't heard? President Trump has been kidnapped. It's all over the news! The ransom note says we either deliver a billion dollars or they are going to cover him with gas and burn him alive. I'm out here taking up a collection to help."
"Oh, God." I said. "Of course I'm willing to help. Anything. How much have you got so far?"
"About six gallons." He said.
If a genie offered you a choice between ending world hunger or getting a billion dollars
What color would your Lamborghini be?
It cost NASA scientist 1 billion dollars to send felines into outerspace.
It was a catastrophe
What's similar between the United States Military and Battlefront 2?
Both require over six hundred billion dollars a year to stay ahead of the rest of the competition
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Donald Trump, the Pope, Mark Zuckerberg, and a schoolboy are on a plane...
Suddenly, they hit turbulence. The pilot, telling them that the plane is going to c**..., grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. There are only 3 parachutes left, so Mark Zuckerberg says, "I am worth over 50 billion dollars," and jumps out of the plane. Trump says "I am the smartest man in the world, as well as the president," and jumps out after the pilot and Mark Zuckerberg. Finally, the Pope tells the kid "I have lived a long life, you can take the last parachute." The kid says "We can both grab a parachute, the smartest man in the world took my backpack."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three men meet a genie and are given a single wish.
The first man wishes to be invisible, p**...! he turns invisible but gets run over by a truck and drops down dead.
The second man wishes for 100 million dollars, p**...! he gets the money but is robbed and shot and drops down dead.
The third man sees this and figures out that the other men were selfish and that's what got them killed so he wishes for world peace, p**...! and 7.3 billion people drop down dead.
If you are worth 75 million dollars, then you are able to see anyone in the world just by asking.
If you are worth 75 billion dollars, then you are able to see anyone in the world without asking.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Travel to Mars
After years of work and billions of dollars, we can send a single astronaut to Mars and back. Jimmy is chosen to go on the mission with zero possibility of communication until he returns 10 years later. With a huge celebration, the shuttle takes off and the wait begins. After 10 years, Jimmy returns. Everyone is ecstatic, scientists, politicians and reporters all ask the same question: "Is there life on Mars?"
"It's a dead, s**... planet" answers Jimmy, shrugging. Everybody is sad, disappointed, accepting defeat.
When he's back at his house, his kid asks again "Dad, is there really no life on Mars?"
"Okay, so all the stores close at 2pm and they don't have whiskey, would you call it a life?"
50 Cent is a very insightful person. Wherever he goes, he tailors his shows to be inoffensive to local cultures and customs.
At his latest gig in Harare he performed under the name "4 Billion Dollars".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy finds a genie bottle
Rubs it and the genie says okay you've got three wishes, but new rule is your ex-wife gets double
Guys not happy but says for my first wish I want 5 billion dollars tax free
Genie boom you got it, now your ex-wife has 10 billion tax free dollars
Guy yeah, ok fine next wish I want an island only I can get to that has a beautiful mansion and never runs out of supplies
Genie ok but now your ex-wife has two of them, what's your last wish?
Guy thinks and thinks, then says: GOT IT, I wish you would beat me half to death!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Genie grants a man 3 wishes
The genie says the only catch is whatever you wish for your ex wife will get double.
The man says "For my first wish I want a huge mansion."
Sure enough the man is given a huge mansion and his ex wife gets two.
"My second wish, I want a billion dollars!"
The man is given a billion dollars and his ex is given two billion.
The genie says, "and for your final wish?"
The man says "I wish to be beaten half to death."
An american, a french, an arab and a swiss are on a fly...
Suddenly, the pilot says "we're too heavy, all the passenger have to drop something".
The american take billions of dollars and he says : "We got enough of this, i can drop freely"
Then the french drop cheese and says : ""We got enough of this"
The arab drop gallon of oil and says : "We got too much of this"
and the swiss was embarassed, he thought a lot, then he took the french guy and drop him through the windows and say : "We got enough of them"
It's a swiss joke, in switzerland, we have a lot of french guys that come to work and some extremist will say "they steal our jobs" :-)
I am a manager in a multi billion dollar company what are you doing at 20
I manage my local Mc Donald's
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the differrence between a Saudi m**... and a Mexican m**...?
a few billion dollars.
If I had a dollar for every time a girl found me not attractive.
I'd end up making 3.72 billion dollars because no amount of money can make a girl find me attractive ;\_;
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man finds a Genie in a bottle
The genie says everything he gets his wife gets double
First he asks for 1 million dollars his wife gets 2 million
Then he asks for a billion dollar mansion his wife gets 2 billion dollar mansions
Lastly he asks to get beat half to death
A strange man told me that he would give me 1 million dollars, but the person I loathed most in the world would get 1 billion dollars. He asked if I would accept?
"Easy," I replied, "Of course I'll take it."
"I'm just not sure what I'm going to do with 1.001 billion dollars"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump asks for quotes...
... for building the wall. First he goes to a Mexican company. They do the calculations of material and labour and answer him that they will do it for 10 billion dollars. Second he goes to an American company which answers him they will build it for 20 billion dollars. Ofcourse it will be much bigger and stronger than the wall of the Mexican company, they CEO adds. Finaly Trump goes to a Russian company. They make a quick count and gives him the price. 30 billion for the wall. "That's the worst deal so far!" Trump exclaims. "Not at all mjister Trumpt, you see, 10 billion for you, 10 billion for me, and 10 billion for the Mexicans to do it."
You know what the difference between a million and a billion dollars is?
About a billion dollars.
HOW i got rich
One rich man is asked how he got rich. He answers: I bought one unwashed apple in the market for a dollar, washed it and sold it for 2, then bought 2 unwashed apples, washed it and sold it for 4. -And so gradually you got rich? - No, after 2 years, my grandmother died and left me a legacy of 4 billion dollars, and I stopped doing nonsense
An American and a Zimbabwean walk into a bar
The American says to the Zimbabwean, You know, we have a few good rappers in America. My favourite would have to be Eminem, have you got a favourite?
The Zimbabwean thinks for about 5 seconds and says, Well yes, of course. My favourite would have to be 50 cent, or as we call him, 400 billion dollars.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A wealthy billionaire dies, and his final wish is to be buried with his money.
So, at the f**... reception, the widow is speaking with guests when the matter of the billionaire's last wish comes up. The widow confirms that she honored her late husband's request.
A friend says to the widow, "You really buried him with billions of dollars?!", and the widow replies, "Of course, I wrote him a check."
A guy said to God, "God, is it true that to you a billion years is like a second?"
God said yes.
The guy said, "God, is it true that to you a billion dollars is like a penny?"
God said yes.
The guy said, "God, can I have a penny?"
God said, "Sure, just a second."
NASA received the bill from SpaceX for sending astronauts into space and they were shocked to see that it was nearly 3 billion dollars
They phoned Elon Musk and explained that they thought SpaceX wouldn't be charging to send astronauts into space.
Elon Musk responded by saying, 'there's no such thing as a free launch'
Jeff Bezoz on a plane with Donald Trump
Jeff Bezoz and Donald Trump Are on a plane. Jeff says "I could drop a dollar bill to the ground and make one person happy. Donald Tump says "I could drop 100 dollar bills to the ground and make 100 people happy." . Pilot walks out of the cockpit and says "I could drop this plane to the ground and make 7 billion people happy!"
When my girlfriend's father asked me what I do for a living, I was embarrassed to say that I work at McDonald's, so instead, I said …
"I handle transactions for a multi-billion-dollar company and industry on a daily basis
and help provide around $2 billion to the US economy each year"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I meet these genie.
He asked: Who is the person you dislike the most? I told him that it would be my mother-in-law. He explained to me that I get three wishes but whatever I wish for my mother-in-law gets double of.
My first wish: I want one mansion. My mother-in-law gets two mansions.
My second wish: I want ten billion dollars. My mother-in-law gets twenty billion dollars.
My final wish: Beat me half to death.