Billionaire Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Billionaire jokes. Read billionaire takeover jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud.

Enjoy this list of puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these billionaire tycoon puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Uplifting Billionaire Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

A Russian spy, a s**... predator and a billionaire walk into a bar

Bartender says "What can I get you Mr. President?"

A 60 year old billionaire marries a hot 24 year old...

During the wedding party, his friends ask him, How'd you land someone that young?

It's simple, said the billionaire, I faked my age!

I mean, I'm 43, and there's no way I could land her! , a friend exclaims. What age did you tell her you were?

Smiling mischievously, the billionaire responds, 85 years old.

My wife....

"Thanks to my wife I am now a millionaire!"

"Wow that's great!"

"I was a billionaire..."

When can women make you a millionaire?

When you're a billionaire.

jokes about billionaire

Bill Gates has now donated enough money to charity that he lost his billionaire status.

He now goes by Mill Gates.

A billionaire goes for a drive

... and his Rolls Royce pulls up next to a stoplight, and he notices someone on the side of the road picking grass and eating it. He orders his driver to turn right, and park on the side of the road next to the man. He exits the vehicle and walks up to the man, and asks him, "sir, why are you eating grass?" The man says, "I am hungry, and have no money to eat with, so all I have to eat is grass." The billionaire says to the man, "well then, come with me to my mansion and I'll feed you." The man replies with, "I have children, and a wife." The billionaire replies with, "that's fine, bring them too." The man replies with, "we also live with my brother in law, his wife, and his kids." The billionaire replies, "Bring them all, I'll send to have them picked up." The man asks the billionaire, "why sir are you so kind to us?" The billionaire replies with, "my last lawn crew quit, and the grass in the front acre is nearly 2ft tall."

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:



"What do you want to be when you grow up?"





Little Kevin says: "I wanna start out as a Marine Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest h**..., give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while b**... her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."



The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Kevin, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson . .. . ..



And how about you, Sarah?"



"I wanna be KevinΒΉs h**...."

Billionaire joke, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

How does a women make you a millionaire?

You start as a billionaire

My wife says we should spice up our s**... life with some stuff from 50 Shades of Gray.

First, she wants me to become a billionaire.

Since I started dating my girlfriend half a year ago I became a millionaire

6 months ago I was a billionaire.

Can a woman make a man a millionaire?

Only if he's a billionaire.

Credits to Kevin Hart

You can explore billionaire eccentric reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean billionaire lavish dad jokes. There are also billionaire puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Johny the Fighter Pilot

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you
grow up?"

Little Johnny says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest p**..., give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. "And how about you, Sarah?"

"I wanna be Johnny's p**...."

Can a woman turn a man into a millionaire?

Yes, if he's a billionaire...

So a Jew, a blonde, and a Narcissistic billionaire walks into a bar...

Then the bartender says: These presidental elections are starting to seem like a joke.

A man sees a millionaire he recognizes on the street.

The man goes up to the millionaire and says, "Sir, I have been working hard for so long and I still don't have much money, will you please tell me your secret to becoming a millionaire?"

The millionaire pauses for a moment and responds, "my wife."

The man was taken aback. "What were you before you met her?"

The millionaire sadly responded, "a billionaire."

How many billionaires does it take to make a superhero?

Three. Two to get murdered and one to never get over it.

Billionaire joke, How many billionaires does it take to make a superhero?

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...

After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..

"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"

"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.

With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"

If Trump is elected president...

He will be the first billionaire to move into government housing after a black man.

Billionaire throws a party for the whole town

What does a sick billionaire say?

"I feel like a million bucks"

If Trump gets elected...

...it will be the first time in History that a billionaire moves into public housing vacated by a black family.

A farmer once successfully bred a three-legged chicken...

and bragged about it to his neighbors on how fast it was. A billionaire was passing by and took a liking to it. So he made a million dollar offer to the farmer for the chicken. Surprisingly, the farmer declined.

'Then, I'll give you five million for it,' said the billionaire.

'Sorry, I can't,' said the farmer.

'10 million dollars, I don't believe you'll turn down the offer'

'I'm truly sorry. I can't.'

The billionaire was stumped and asked, 'Is 10 million not enough?'

The farmer only sighed and reply, 'It's not that I don't want to sell it, that darned chicken is literally too fast for me to catch it.'

Millionaire Interview

Interviewer : Sir, who helped you on becoming a Millionaire?

Millionaire : My wife........ I was a billionaire before.

A woman was telling her friend , "I helped my husband become a millionaire."

"And what was he before you married him?"

"A billionaire."

Going To The Movies

I told my wife I wanted to watch a movie about a billionaire p**... with a penchant for darkness, inflicting violence and dressing up in masks.

She got excited and asked, "Are we really go to see *50 Shades*?"

I laughed and told her I was talking about *The Lego Batman Movie*.

Did you know a girl can make you a millionaire?

Only if you're a billionaire.

Billionaire joke, Did you know a girl can make you a millionaire?

I lied about my age

A 60 yr old Billionaire came to the Bar with his gorgeous 25 yr old wife!

Friend: "How did she marry you?"

Billionaire: "I lied about my age!"

Friend: "You said 45?"

Billionaire: "No! I told her I was 90"

What is the fastest way to become a millionaire?

Step 1: become a billionaire.

Step 2: buy an EA game.

I've always wanted to be a billionaire just like my father

He's not a billionaire but he has always wanted to be one

How do you become a millionaire by working for an MLM?

Start off as a billionaire

Batman: I must save this city

Alfred: Well you're a billionaire so maybe you can redistribu...

Batman: This bat suit is the only way

An interviewer goes to the house of a millionaire..

Interviewer:- Who made you into a millionaire?
Millionaire:- My wife..
Interviewer:- Nice. What were you before being a millionaire?
Millionaire:- A Billionaire....

How can a woman make you a millionaire?

First you have to be a billionaire

How To Become a Millionaire:

Be a billionaire and invest in an airline company.

I said to my friend: "I wish I was a billionaire, just like my dad..."

My friend said "Whoa, your dad was a billionaire?"

I said "no, he also wished he was..."

How does a woman turn a man into a millionaire?

She marries a billionaire.

A Russian spy, a s**... predator and a billionaire walk into a bar, and the bartender says:

What can I get you Mr. President?

The teacher was asking her students what they wanted to be when they grow up.

When it came to Johnny he said, I want to be a billionaire and go to expensive clubs. I'll get me a b**..., and buy her a million-dollar apartment in Vegas, a Ferrari, a beach house in Miami, a jet to fly with, expensive jewelry and have s**... with her 3 times a day.

The teacher was lost for words and didn't know what to do, so she just proceeded along and asked Marie what she wanted to be.

Marie replied: "I'd like to be Johnny's b**...!!"

I wish....

* I wish I was a billionaire, just like my dad
* Oh, so your dad was a billionaire?
* No, he also wished he were.

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After hnoeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...

After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..

β€ŸIt is simple billionaire boasts....
β€ŸI faked my age

β€ŸYes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you're? A friend asks.

With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
β€Ÿ85 years old

I invested my dad's money in stocks and made him a millionaire.

He used to be a billionaire.

A wealthy billionaire dies, and his final wish is to be buried with his money.

So, at the f**... reception, the widow is speaking with guests when the matter of the billionaire's last wish comes up. The widow confirms that she honored her late husband's request.

A friend says to the widow, "You really buried him with billions of dollars?!", and the widow replies, "Of course, I wrote him a check."

How to become a millionaire:

Step One: Be a billionaire

Step Two: Short sell $GME

I started a charity for the billionaire hedge fund investors affected by the Game Stop Short Squeeze.

But Soon after, I realized there's already a Charity for them, The US Government.

If you invested early into Tesla stocks, you would be a millionaire. If you invested early into Apple, you would be a billionaire. If you invested Β£10 in 1890,

You would be dead.

Want to know an easy way to become a Millionaire?

Be a Billionaire and start day-trading

How many Billionaires does take it take to create a Vigilante?

Three.
Two to die and one to never get over it.

billionaire superheroes

How many billionaires does it take to create a superhero?

Three. Two to die and one to never get over it.

Kendall Jenner is the worlds youngest billionaire

She's followed in her father's footsteps in becoming a self-made woman

A 90 year old billionaire was dragged into the abyss by the tentacles of a Lovecraftian Old God...

It was an elder rich horror.

A billionaire offered me a million dollars to permanently glue my mouth shut forever.

I can't tell you how happy I am.

Who is the most lonely billionaire?

Alone musk

The Russian economy is improving drastically.

Soon even the poorest Russian will be a billionaire.

What's the fastest way to become a Millionaire?

Be a Billionaire and invade Ukraine.

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Two easy steps to become a millionaire

1: Be a billionaire

2: Set up businesses in Russia

As a billionaire I tried enter a club for billionaires, but was refused the entrance. "Is it because I'm a black billionaire?!", asked I furiously.

"No, it's because you're a Zimbabwean billionaire"

What's the easiest way to become a cryptocurrency millionaire?

>!Start as a cryptocurrency billionaire and hodl. !<

A teacher asks her class "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b**... with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".

The teacher, shocked and not knowing how to respond to this, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. "And you, Susie? " the teacher asks.

Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's b**...."

A 60 year old billionaire is getting married to a hot 25 year old woman

At the bachelor party, the first thing the billionaire's friends ask him is how he landed such a hot young woman.

"Easy," he said. "I lied about my age."

"Ah, you told her you're 40 or 45?" one friend asked.

"No," he replied. "I told her I'm 85."

Never ask a man his salary, a woman her age...

... or a billionaire what they contribute to society.

A 60 year old billionaire walks into a bar with his gorgeous 25 year old wife

Friend: How did she marry you?

Billionaire: I lied about my age

Friend: You said 45?

Billionaire: No! I said 90!

What did the Russian billionaire say when checking in at a hotel?

I'd like a room on the first floor, please.

What do you call a billionaire who commits crimes after sunset?

Felon Dusk.

With the help of my wife I am officially a millionaire.

Before I met her I was a billionaire.

A guy finds a lamp, rubs it and a genie pops out.

Genie: You have 3 wishes, whats your first wish?
Guy: I wish you were bad at counting.
Genie: Done.
Guy: I wish i was a billionaire.
Genie: Piss off you've had your 3 wishes!

The one thing I hate about superhero movies is how unrealistic they are,

Like what are the chances that a billionaire would do anything to help ordinary people?

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the billionaire billion puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working billionaire millionaire piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

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