Bill Gates Jokes

112 bill gates jokes and hilarious bill gates puns to laugh out loud. Read celebrity jokes about bill gates that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Best Short Bill Gates Jokes

Short bill gates puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bill gates humour may include short melinda gates jokes also.

  1. Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall On the condition he gets to install windows.
  2. Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team-up and make a medicine to treat erectile dysfunction, and name it ElonGates.
  3. bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
  4. Hi. My name is Bill Gates and today, I will be teaching you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10
  5. It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID none of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently
  6. When Bill Gates donates 30% of his net worth He is praised as a generous hero, But when I do it people tell me they don't accept donations under a dollar.
  7. Bill Gates and Donald Trump are alone in the Oval Office Trump remarks,"Bill, together you and I are worth $80 billion."
    Bill Gates says,"But I'm worth 90 billion."
  8. If you had to choose between world peace and Bill Gates' fortune... What color would your Lamborghini be?
  9. Elon Musk and Bill Gates have decided to partner in a joint venture to invent a medication to overcome erectile dysfunction. They have decided to name the new drug 'Elongates'.
  10. Hi I'm Bill Gates! Today we're gonna learn how to count to 10. 1.01,1.02, 1.03, 1.04, 2.03, 2.10, 2.11, 3, 3.1, 3.2, 95, 98, 2000, ME, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about bill gates can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of bill gates puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Bill Gates One Liners

Which bill gates one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bill gates? I can suggest the ones about gates and bill clinton.

  1. Bill and Melinda Gates woke up today and said... May divorce be with you.
  2. "You look like a million bucks", said Bill Gates disappointedly to his wife.
  3. Bill Gates to Melinda: "I'll never cheat on you again." "I give you my Word."
  4. Bill Gates walks into a bar and everyone inside becomes a millionaire... on average.
  5. How soft is Bill Gate's pillow? Microsoft.
  6. Why doesn't Bill Gates have a basement? He likes windows
  7. What did Microsoft employees say to Bill Gates after his motivational speech? Word.
  8. Why couldn't Bill Gates get any girls? His hardware was Microsoft
  9. Why did Bill Gates' wife divorce him? Because, he was always microsoft in bed.
  10. What shirt size does Bill Gates wear? Excel.
  11. Bill Gates is a good rapper. Word.
  12. I was going to make a joke about Bill Gates divorce but decided not to... It's not PC
  13. What's Bill Gates's favorite dessert apple turnover
  14. How did Micro-soft get it's name? Because Bill Gates has a 3.5 inch floppy
  15. Why did Bill Gates build a gate? Someone kept breaking his windows.

Comical Bill Gates Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about bill gates you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean bill melinda jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make bill gates prank.

Yo mama so fat that Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction.

I told my son, You will marry the girl I choose.

He said, NO!
I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter.
He said, OK.
I called Bill Gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates said, NO.
I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.
Bill Gates said, OK.
I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
He said, NO.
I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law.
He said, OK.
This is how politics works.

If you had to choose between Bill Gates' money and world peace...

...what colour should your porsche be?

So, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs walk into a bar...

and I got sued for millions because I used both of their names in the same sentence.

What do Bill Gates and the Pope have in common?

They've both put their faith in the cloud.

If you could own the entirety of Bill Gates' fortune or solve world hunger,...

what color would your Lamborghini be?

A good ole 90's joke.

A man dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives at the pearly gates he notices clocks with names hanging all over the place. The man asks god "What are all the clocks for?" God responded "Every time the clock makes a full rotation, someone on earth commits a sin." The man looked around at all the clocks and out of curiosity asked god "Where's Bill Clinton's clock?" God just pointed up to the ceiling fan.

I thought Bill Gates would cave and release the new Microsoft Office early.

But he kept his Word.

Bill Gates has now donated enough money to charity that he lost his billionaire status.

He now goes by Mill Gates.

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

Bill Gates Goes Fishing

Bill Gates goes fishing. Suddenly his fishing pole starts to jiggle, he quickly pulls it and see a gold fish hanging on it's edge.
"WAIT! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!" the fish screams.
Bill answers: "oh wow, a talking fish! That's amazing! There you go little guy, I was going to release you anyway" and sets him free.
The fish turns around and say: "Thank you, now how about a wish?"
Bill answers: "Oh alright... what do you want?"

What does Bill Gates call his manhood?


Bill Gates: "Why don't you tell me why Bing failed"

Bill gates: So why don't you tell me why Bing failed.
Board: We feel there was a public nescience towards Bing.
Bill gates: Nescience? Let me Goog- Oh I see what you mean.

Bill Gates walks into a Apple Store....

and as he is looking at the ipad he farts. He takes a whiff and says to an employee, you need to buy some windows.

World peace or all of Bill Gates' money?

If you had a choice between world peace or Bill Gates' money, what color would your Lamborghini be?

What is globalization?

Question : What is globalization?
Answer : Princess Diana's death
Question : How come?
Answer :
An English princess with an
Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a
German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was high on
Scottish whiskey, followed closely by
Italian Paparazzi, on
Japanese motorcycles, treated by an
American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines!
And this is sent to you by a
Canadian, using
Bill Gates' technology which he got from the
And you are probably reading this on
one of the IBM clones that use
Philippine-made chips, and
Korean made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi
workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries
driven by Indians, hijacked by Indonesians and finally
sold to you by a Chinese!

How to do Business

Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No!
Dad: The girl is Bill Gates' daughter.
Son: Ok then.
Dad goes to Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No!
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Ok then.
Dad goes to the president of the World Bank
Dad: Make my son the CEO of your bank.
President: No!
Dad: He is the son in law of Bill Gates.
President: Ok then.

Gabe Newell and Bill Gates should get together.

Not only would there be some epic games, they could comfort each other's inability to count.

In light of the DNC event and my own recent experience with the forced install of windows 10.. What do the Clinton's have in common with Bill Gates?

They both no longer need your consent.

I make more money than Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerburg combined

And all I do is work at the U.S. Mint

A dead lawyer

lawyer dies in his sleep and arrives at the gates of heaven.
He asks St Peter "Why am I here? I was healthy, and so young!"
St Peter replies "Young? You were 103 years old!"
The lawyer says "What? No! I was 36!!"
St Peter looks at his ledger and then says "Ahh, I see the problem. We were going by hours billed."

How Politics Really Works

I told my son, "You will marry the girl I choose."

He said, "No."

I told him, "She is Bill Gates daughter."

He said, "Yes."

I called Bill Gates and said, "I want your daughter to marry my son."

Bill Gates said, "No."

I told Bill Gates, "My son is the C.E.O. of World Bank."

Bill Gates said, "Okay."

I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the C.E.O.

He said, "No."

I told him, "My son is Bill Gates son-in-law."

He said, "Okay.

This is exactly how politics works.

Hey it's Bill Gates! Mr. Gates, why was 6 afraid of 7?

"I don't know, because 7 8 10?"

The difference between me and Bill Gates is "th".

He makes tens of millions of dollars per year.
I make tenths of millions of dollars per year.

It is said that Bill Gates once f**... in an Apple store which stank up the entire place.

But after all, it's their fault for not having Windows.

Bill Gates Went To A Restaurant And Paid A $2 Tip, The Waiter Remarked: "Your son gave $100, but you're only giving $2?"

Bill Gates: "He's the son of a billionaire, I'm the son of a farmer."

Bill Gates wakes up one morning, hungover, after a late night soirée at the foundation.

Melinda looks at him and says, "Wow, Bill, you don't look so good."

Bill replies, "Yeah I know, I feel like a million bucks..."

What is it called when Bill Gates breathes out?

Microsoft Exhale

Bill Gates has a net worth of $86.9 billion

To get an estimate of how big that is, take your net worth and atdd $86.9 billion onto it

Bill Gates woke up ...

Oh my God!!! - Bill said...
What a nightmare, I dreamed that I was a milionaire!

Bill Gates was being carried around the WhiteHouse by many Senators.

Asked them what was going on?
They said they were passing the bill.

Bill Gates recently visited a kindergarten and taught the children how to count to ten.

"1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

Intelligent Minds

Albert Einstein: Genius mind
Isaac Newton: Extraordinary mind
Bill Gates: Brilliant mind
You: Never mind

Why does Bill Gates use a mouse when he's fishing?

Because he sincerely believes it is the most effective.......
Click bait!

I said to my son, "You will be forced into an arranged marriage."

He said no. I replied with, "It is Bill Gates' daughter in law." He said yes.
I called up Bill Gates and said, "Your daughter will marry my son." He said no. I replied with "I am the CEO of the World Bank." He said yes
I called up the world bank and said, "Make me CEO." They said no. I replied with, "Bill Gates is my brother-in-law." They said yes.

If you could have Bill Gates' wealth or cure all the suffering in Africa...

What colour Ferrari would you get?

What's the most expensive doors?

Bill Gates

Bill Gates has agreed to fund Trump's border wall...

On the one condition that they install Windows.

Why couldn't Steve Jobs enter heaven?

He couldn't get past the Gates.
Bill Gates.

A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows

Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.

Why does Bill Gates make for a terrible medical expert?

Because he can't get rid of viruses in Microsoft either.

What does Bill Gates say when he dislikes something?

Bill Hates.

My grandma's advice

My grandma always used to say " don't laugh at anybody, you might end up like them too".
From that day forth I started laughing at bill gates

Bill created Microsoft and Steve created Apple

I must say by doing so, they opened a lot of Gates for Jobs.

Bill Gates is pulled over by a police officer one night after his car is seen swerving on the highway

The police officer asks, "Have you had anything to drink tonight, sir?"
Bill says, "Absolutely not, officer."
The cop says, "Can you please count backwards from 10 for me?"
• ⁠
Bill replies, "10, 8, 7, Vista, XP, ME, 2000, NT, 98, 95, 3, 2, 1."

If Elon musk and Bill gates made an e**... pill, then

It would be called Elongate

My girlfriend is getting the covid vaccine

She was worried about bill gates tracking us. I said don't worry, he's been watching us for years anyway through the windows.

If you had the choice between World Peace or all of Bill Gates money....

.....what colour Ferrari would you buy?

Dad: Son, I want you to marry a girl of my choice.

Son: No.
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
Son: Okay then!
Dad goes to Bill Gate.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No.
Dad: My son is the CEO of the world's greatest bank.
Bill Gates: Okay then!
Dad goes to the CEO of the world's greatest bank.
Dad: Make my son the CEO.
CEO: No.
Dad: My son is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
CEO: Okay then!

Bill Gates recently split up with Melinda Gates, who will take half of his belongings, including Microsoft office.

But she will only get Microsoft Excel and Powerpoint, because he always keeps his Word.

shoutout u/Duttywood

Bill and Melinda Gates are getting divorced?

I thought they had a really strong foundation

If Bill Gates put 5G in the vaccines

Why couldn't he connect with Melinda?

Bill Gates has often claimed how hard it is to give away 100 billion dollars.

Then he discovered divorce.

Melinda Gates: "Bill, I think our relationship is not going to work anymore..."

Bill: "Why don't we try to divorce and marry again?"

Why did Bill Gates' and Jeff Bezos' marriages both end in divorce?

Because they realized they were in a union.

Jezz Bezos and Bill Gates.

They realized marriages are unions, so they put an end to them.

One Bill Gates' divorce

According to Melinda Gates, Bill just didn't Excel at his marriage. Apparently he had no Power Points while arguing, but he always had to have the last Word. And now that he no longer had Access to her heart, the Outlook was not looking good for them. They couldn't work together as Teams. On the Surface they were a perfect couple, but deep down there was hardly any Kinect. He kept everything hidden like an X-Box and she never found it re- Azuring Finally she realized there was no Window of opportunity to stay together.

So Bill Gates sends Melinda a Hotmail after the divorce.

"Let's get married again he writes.
What do you mean? she replies on MSN. We just got divorced! You said the marriage wasn't working! Why would you want to start everything up again?
That's always worked before he says.

I was going to make a joke about Bill and Melinda Gates' divorce today, but I stopped myself...

It's not really PC

Young Bill Gates asks wife for advice

Bill: Hey honey, what do you think I should call my new company? I need something that really reflects who I am.
His wife: I don't know sweety, what about Microsoft?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these bill gates jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.