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Bilbo Jokes

37 bilbo jokes and hilarious bilbo puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bilbo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Engage in some good-natured ribbing with some of Bilbo Baggins' best one-liners! Whether you're a fan of Tolkien's classic works or the more recent Potter-verse, you can channel your inner Gandalf or Elrond as we explore some of Bilbo's best jokes.

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Funniest Bilbo Short Jokes

Short bilbo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bilbo humour may include short potter jokes also.

  1. Bilbo Baggins wakes up and hears someone singing 'Don't Stop Believing'. It was an unexpected Journey.
  2. Bilbo was surprised to hear of a Tesco Express opening up in the Shire... It was an unexpected item in the Baggins area
  3. Bilbo was surprised to wake one morning, and find that a Tesco had been built right next to his house It was an unexpected item in the Baggins area
  4. A literary analysis asked why Bilbo had such a long life, even for a hobbit. I answered: Because old hobbits die hard.
  5. Bilbo Baggins woke up in the morning and heard someone singing Don't Stop Believing. It was an unexpected Journey.
  6. How did Bilbo survive the entire lord of the rings trilogy? Because old Hobbits die hard...
  7. Whenever I take out the trash I always say to my wife bilbo That way she knows to put a new baggins
  8. What's the difference between a bag that you take onto an airplane and the vegetables grown in Bilbo's garden? One is cabin baggage, the other is Baggin's cabbage.
  9. Who should have played Bilbo? Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings? Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.
  10. Did I tell you about the time Bilbo Baggins woke up to "Don't Stop Believing" on the radio? It was an unexpected Journey.

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Bilbo One Liners

Which bilbo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bilbo? I can suggest the ones about elves and bilbo baggins.

  1. Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long? Because old Hobbits die hard...
  2. Bilbo wakes up suddenly to Don't Stop Believing. It was an unexpected Journey.
  3. What do you get when Gandalf and Bilbo are your network engineers? A Tolkien Ring Network
  4. What do you call a Hobbit who isn't over their Ex? Bilbo baggage.
  5. Just bought the extended version of The Hobbit. Bilbo is 7' 6" now.
  6. Bilbo Baggins wakes up suddenly to Don't Stop Believing . It was an unexpected Journey.
  7. What do you get when you mix Frodo, Bilbo and a cyborg police officer? Frobo Cop.
  8. Why couldn't the one ring kill bilbo baggins? Cuz old hobbits die hard
  9. How does Bilbo take his tea? Bag-in
  10. What do you call a pompous Hobbit? Bilbo Braggins
  11. what are your hobbies? Mmm... Sam, Bilbo and Frodo.
  12. Why did Bilbo Baggins die with an e**...? Old hobbits die hard.
  13. Why was old Bilbo's body found with a massive e**...? Because old hobbits die hard.
  14. Bilbo Baggins has passed away whilst still e**... I guess _old hobbits die hard_
  15. Why did Bilbo die with an e**...? Old hobbits die hard.

Bilbo Baggins Jokes

Here is a list of funny bilbo baggins jokes and even better bilbo baggins puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I heard they put a supermarket behind Bilbo's hobbit hole... Unexpected item in baggins area.
  • What does Cowboy Bilbo Baggins say to his wizard friend as he sets out for a Himalayan adventure? Mao-uhns, Gandalf, I need MAO-UHNS!
  • Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a e**...? Because old hobbits die hard.
    (Just a different Punchline)
Bilbo joke, Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a e**...?

The Funniest Bilbo Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about bilbo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean doom jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bilbo pranks.

Sauron tortures a hobbit.

Sauron captured Bilbo Baggins and tried to t**... him to tell where the magic ring was hidden. Soon the hobbit blurted out "I think Gollum has it!"
Then Sauron captured Gollum and tortured him, but the old evil and corrupted hobbit wouldn't talk.
It turns out bad hobbits are hard to break.

A Little Known Fact About the Works of J.R.R Tolkien

For his Eleventy-first birthday, instead of fireworks, Bilbo initially asked Gandalf if he could bring the band that plays Dream Police to perform a concert at the party.
This enraged Gandalf however, as Bilbo Baggins took him for some conjurer of Cheap Trick.

Bilbo Baggins turns on the radio.

After a lengthy commercial break, the DJ suddenly jumps right into a new song.
"Just a small town girl..."
Bilbo was surprised, and delighted: this was unexpected Journey.

Bilbo joke, Bilbo Baggins wakes up suddenly to  Don't Stop Believing .