Bikes Jokes
93 bikes jokes and hilarious bikes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bikes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking to laugh? Check out these hilarious bikes jokes! Read a wide selection of jokes about bikes and cycling, including jokes about dogs on bikes, pedalphiles, and much more! Get your funny fix now with our collection of bike jokes.
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Funniest Bikes Short Jokes
Short bikes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bikes humour may include short bikers jokes also.
- Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why. He said "inflation"
- Why do anti-vaxxers not lock their bikes? Because they know someone whose locked bike was still stolen.
- I keep getting hit by the same bike, at the same time and place, day after day... It's a vicious cycle.
- Two nuns went on a bike ride... ...and one says to the other, as they turn down a side street
"I've never come this way before!"
And the other replies
"yes! It's the cobblestones!" - What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs? The bikings.
- My 9 year old just told me this one and I had to share. What's the hardest part about learning to ride a bike. The pavement.
- The saddest thing in the world is a child's cry after their bike is stolen So I try to pedal away as fast as I can.
- I saw a black guy riding a bike near my house yesterday I thought it was mine. So I checked the garage and it was still chained up, asking for food.
- Two nuns are riding down a street on bikes One says to the other "I've never come this way before."
The other smiles and says "neither have I. Must be the cobblestones." - When I was young, I used to pray to the Lord everyday to give me a bike. But then I realised it doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.
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Bikes One Liners
Which bikes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bikes? I can suggest the ones about biking and bicycle.
- My girlfriend, Ruth, fell off the back of my bike. I rode on, ruthlessly.
- Just got a bike for my wife. It was a good trade.
- Every single morning I get hit by the same bike It's a vicious cycle.
- Why didn't the bike go to the car show? Because he was two tired.
- A bike in town keeps running me over It's a vicious cycle
- I keep falling off my bike. It's a vicious cycle.
- What do you call someone who's representing a bike shop? A spokesperson.
- How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?
- How many adhd kids does it take to change a light bulb? LETS GO RIDE BIKES
- I like my women like I like my bikes. Chained up and locked down in my garage.
- My dog used to chase people on a bike It got so bad I had to take his bike away
- how many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? hey let's go ride our bikes
- Why did the black boy fall off his bike? He didn't. He fell off your bike.
- What do they do with the bikes at the end of the Tour de France? They recycle them.
- My dog used to chase after people on bike So I took the bike away from him.
Dogs On Bikes Jokes
Here is a list of funny dogs on bikes jokes and even better dogs on bikes puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So I got a phone call from the post office today... ...complaining that my dog is attacking a postman on a bike. But I told them "It can't be my dog... he doesn't even know how to ride a bike".
- My dog is obsessed with chasing people on bikes. I'm honestly just impressed he can ride a bike.
- My dog used to chase people on a bike all the time. It got so bad that I finally had to take his bike away.
- A cop knocked on my door A cop knocked on my door to tell me my dogs were chasing people on bikes.
My dogs don't even own bikes… - My dog kept chasing people on a bike... It got so bad, I had to take his bike away.
- My dog kept chasing people on bikes I never should have taught him to cycle!
- A police officer just knocked on my door... and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes. Pfft, my dogs don't even own bikes, idiot.
- My dog loves to chase people on bikes. I finally had no choice but to take his bike away.
- My dog has been chasing people on bikes lately so I had to take away his bike
- A girl is talking to her dog. The neighbours say you've been chasing people riding on a bike, she says.
Liars, the dog says. I don't have a bike.
Cheerful Fun Bikes Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about bikes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean motorbike jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bikes pranks.
Who do you sell second hand bikes to?
A re-cyclist.
I really love bikes.
I'm a pedalphile.
Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France.
It's just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes.
Cops come to house to report my dogs.
The cops came to my house and said "We received a couple of calls saying that your dogs are chasing people on bikes."
I replied "Well that's a lie, my dogs don't have bikes."
I can't wait for the next Quantum Physicist triathlon.
I'm going to stand beside the bikes and yell out their speeds. They'll get so lost they'll end back at the starting line.
Two nuns were riding their bikes down a cobblestone street ...
... on their way to the church. One nun says to the other, "I've never come this way before." The other nun replied, "It's probably the cobblestones."
Two nuns riding through the garden of the convent...
They giggle, laugh and scream as they ride their bikes over the cobble stone paths. All of a sudden, the window of Mother Superior swings open. She shouts:" Girls! Keep it down, or I'm having the saddles re-installed!"
Two Nuns On Bikes
Two nuns, Maria and Angelica, are riding their bicycles on their way to work at the Vatican. They're running late, so Maria says, "I know a shortcut. Let's go down this alley." They turn right onto the alley, which soon becomes a narrow cobblestone road, with many twists and turns. Angelica remarks, "wow, I never came this way before." Maria tells her, "it's the cobblestones."
2 nuns are riding their bikes to church
As they're riding, one nun says to the other "I've never come this way before".
The other nun turns to her and says "It's the cobblestone".
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a Paris street..
One looks to the other and says "You know, I've never come this way before." The second replies, "Must be the cobblestones."
A woman bikes up to two engineers in a parking lot.
The woman takes off her clothes and tells them, "You may have anything you want."
The first engineer says, "I'll take the bike!"
The second engineer says, "Since there is nothing left, I'll take the clothes!"
Amsterdam is like a tour de France
- it's full of people on bikes and drugs.
--
Heard this last weekend while visiting Amsterdam
What do black people and bikes have in common?
They stop working when you take the chains off
Sister Mary and Sister Francis are riding their bikes from the vestibule to the rectory....
Sister Mary says to Sister Francis, "I've never came this way before!"
And Sister Francis says "It must be the cobble stone street!"
Two nuns were riding their bikes...
Two nuns were riding their bikes through Rome headed to the Vatican. One nun said to the other, "You know, sister, I don't think I've ever come this way before." The other nun said, "It's the cobblestones."
I can't get my dog to stop chasing people on bikes.
I guess I'll have to take his bikes away.
Biker mimes
If a group of mimes forms a motorcycle gang....
Do they have to drive electric bikes?
I hate bikes that carry two people.
I can't tandem.
A cop came to my house and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes
that's ridiculous I said, my dogs don't ride bikes.
My grandfather told me this In German so it might already be posted somewhere here, oh and it's translated
Two guys are riding bicycles down the street.
One of the bikes fenders was loose and was making a loud noise.
So the first guy said to the second guy
"Hey your fender is too loud"
The second guy says "what?"
The first guy speaks louder
"your fender is too loud"
The second guy replies "what?"
The first guy yells
"YOUR FENDER IS TOO LOUD"
The second guy yells back
"I CANT HEAR YOU MY FENDER IS TOO LOUD!"
My sense of humor is so dark
It started stealing bikes!
I got complaints about my dog chasing people on bikes
I didnt know my dog could ride a bike
If you ever miss the Tour de France, just go to Amsterdam.
It's basically the same thing: a bunch of people on drugs riding bikes.
I think my son is bi-curious
We were rolling through the village and he was pretty obviously checking out everyone's bikes.
My dog keeps chasing kids on bikes..
It's getting to the point where I might just take his bike away.
Two Dutch girls are out riding their bikes when one of them suggests taking an alternate, scenic route home.
After a while they are in an area that the other girl doesn't recognize and she has no idea where they are or which direction home is. As it is getting towards dusk she becomes nervous and a bit agitated, she says to her friend, "I've never come this way before." And her friend turns to her, smiling, and says, "I know, it's the cobblestones."
Why are pigs not allowed to ride bikes?
Because they lack the thumbs to ring the bell.
The neighbors called the cops because our dogs were chasing kids on bikes.
Joke's on them, our dogs don't even own bikes.
So my dog used to chase people on bikes a lot.
It got so bad that I decided to take his bike from him.
Man, after joining a Biker Gang: Do we or don't we ride our bikes at the same speed?
Biker: Yes, we do. But stop calling it synchronizing our cycles.
Two nuns are riding their bikes through Provence...
and they get lost. One says, "I never came this way before."
The other replies, "Maybe it's the cobblestones."
Did you hear about the two identical bikes separated at birth?
They were long lost schwinns.
How many people with ADHD does it take to screw on a lightbulb?
Let's ride bikes!
My jokes are so dark
They steal bikes.
The police came to my house after getting complaints about my dogs chasing people on bikes.
I told them that's ridiculous. My dogs can't ride bikes.
I have a f**... for bikes riding on top of me
I guess I'm a cycle path
Two nuns were riding their bikes back to the church.
The first nun suggests they take a detour down a back alley. A few minutes later the second nun says, I've never come this way before. The first nun says, It's the cobblestones.
Needing a little more room to park our bikes I said, "another 10cm would make such a great difference"
and so my wife, bless her, replied with a stellar "that's what she said".
True story from yesterday morning, just wanted to share our mirth :)
A police officer told me my dog was chasing people on bikes.
That's ridiculous! My dog doesn't even own a bike!
I always used to go to the gym with my ex
Oh how she loved riding stationary bikes together...
We broke up because we couldn't see ourselves getting anywhere.
A child and his father were going to ride their bikes.
Child: \*wearing a beanie
Father: When you are going to ride your bike, you should always wear a helmet
Child: Don't worry dad, this is better. I already tested it.
Father: How?
Child: I threw them both out of the 3rd floor window. The helmet broke.
Two nuns are riding their bikes back home.
They decided to take a different way home. After they get back the younger nun looks at the older num and says, "I've never come that way before."
The older nun replies, "Oh, it's the cobblestones."
How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?
Let's go ride our bikes!
Two nuns are riding bikes
Two nuns are riding bikes through the old, historically preserved, down town.
One nun says, "you know, I don't think I've ever come this way before."
The other nun says, "it's the cobblestone."
Two nuns are riding bikes downtown
Two nuns are riding bikes downtown. One looks around and says, "I don't think I've ever come this way before."
The other nun says, "It's the cobblestone."
Gender roles are changing. Nowadays some women get mad when you hold a car door open.
Particularly the ones on bikes.
Two nuns were riding their bikes together on their way to church one Sunday.
The first nun says to the second nun, "I've never come this way before".
The second nun says, "Yeah, it's the cobblestones".
The workout
A triathlete walks into a bar to replenish some carbs after a hard workout and orders a beer. "I just got done doing a 10-mile open water swim," he brags to the bartender. "Ten miles, huh? That's impressive," the bartender replies. "I'd struggle to do that much on a bike." "Yeah, well bikes aren't that good in water," the athlete says.
I came out as bikesexual today
My parents were really confused so I had to back pedal to explain
My wife and I were riding our bikes near the beach and I caught her checking out some ladies sunbathing.
I guess she's a bi-cyclist.
A cop told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes.
But my dogs can't even ride bikes.
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
Let's go ride bikes!
(This was approved by a fellow kid with ADD, AKA me)
What do you call someone who's is attracted to bikes?
A pedalphile
A Guy is on a second date with his Girlfriend, in a Yugo he bought for $500
He blows a tire and ends up taking it to the nearest tire shop, the technician asks him what the vehicle is, and he says a Yugo, technician says "sorry we dont work on bikes", he says no its a Car, technician says "oh, yeah we can order a tire for you" after doing some searching he tells the guy itll be about $520. Girlfriend laughs and says "YOU GOT A FLAT TIRE AND TOTALLED YOUR CAR"
There was this guy on the road
There was this guy on the road who was found painted grey with a white push bike symbol painted on. He said he lays down on roads to camouflage himself waiting for people to ride their bikes over him because he enjoyed the feeling.
This guy was a real cycle path.
Two nuns are riding their bikes through a scenic cobbled street…
One turns to the other smiling and asks Have you ever come this way before? The other nodded and said It's the cobblestones!
