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Bikers Jokes

35 bikers jokes and hilarious bikers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bikers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bikers Short Jokes

Short bikers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bikers humour may include short biker gang jokes also.

  1. Man, after joining a Biker Gang: Do we or don't we ride our bikes at the same speed? Biker: Yes, we do. But stop calling it synchronizing our cycles.
  2. What's the difference between a religious revival and a bikers rally? At a religious revival, they say "STAND UP FOR JESUS"
    At a bikers rally, they say "SIT DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE"
  3. What does a mosquito and a biker have in common? They're both really annoying but don't live long.
  4. Biker mimes If a group of mimes forms a motorcycle gang....
    Do they have to drive electric bikes?
  5. What's the difference between a happy biker and a sad biker? Happy biker has bugs in his teeth.
  6. A biker went for a ride with his girlfriend Ruth... As they were riding they came to a low bridge. He ducked, but she didn't. He rode on ruthlessly.
  7. An old guy walks into a biker bar... ... And sits down next to the leader of the gang.
    "Your mom is pretty hot, you know?".
    The biker chief sips his beer, sighs...
    "Just go home, dad.".
  8. Who was the first biker?
    Moses... "...and the roar of his Triumph was heard all over the land..."
  9. I chided my biker friend for actually asking me if he should wear a helmet. That's a no-brainer.
  10. What do you call her when St. Nick's wife dumps him to join a biker gang? A rebel without a Claus.

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Bikers One Liners

Which bikers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bikers? I can suggest the ones about bikes and motorbike.

  1. Why did the biker decline an invitation to the rally? He was just two tired.
  2. What do biker shorts and cheap hotels have in common? No Ballroom.
  3. I met a Muslim biker once... He was the Sergeant at harams
  4. There are drunk bikers. There are old bikers. There are NO old, drunk bikers.
  5. What's got 2 legs and bikers? Half a dog.
  6. Why Do Some Bikers Not Wear Helmets? Because they have thick skulls.
  7. What do you call a biker on her period? A menstrual cyclist!
  8. Hear about the h**...'s Angels biker who's a baker? he's bad to the scone

Bikers joke, Hear about the h**...'s Angels biker who's a baker?

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Bikers Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about bikers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dogs on bikes jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bikers pranks.

A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.

One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."

So a man dies and goes to heaven...

When he got there, he approached St. Peter at the pearly gates.
St. Peter asked "What, in your opinion, was your most noble deed?"
"Uh, well, I saw some huge bikers harassing an old lady outside a bar once, so I went up to the biggest, baddest guy and ripped out his nose ring."
Impressed, St. Peter asked, "Well, when was all this?"
"Uh, about 5 minutes ago."

An old man is eating some breakfast at a diner when three bikers walk in.

The first biker puts out his cigarette in the old man's pancakes.
The second biker spits out his tobacco in the old man's coffee.
The third biker takes the entire meal and shoves it off the table.
The old man, without saying so much as a word, gets up, pays the waitress, and exits the diner. The bikers laugh and sit at the old man's table. "Not much of a man, was he?" says one of the bikers.
"Not much of a driver either," says the waitress. "That man just drove his 16-wheeler over three bikes."

Girl about to jump of a bridge.....

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, What are you doing?
I'm going to commit s**..., she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity. He asked Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a b**...? So, she does and it was a long, deep and slow b**....
After she's finished, the biker says, Wow! That was the best b**... I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing s**...?
My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl.....

There was once a truck driver eating at a diner.

He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. They started bullying him, by dumping salt and pepper all over him, spitting in his coffee, and stealing his food. To their surprise, the truck driver did nothing, but pay the bill, and walk out of the diner.
As they are marveling about this, the waitress comes up to them. The biker gang says that the truck driver wasn't much of a fighter.
The waitress then looks out into the night and says, He doesn't look to be much of a driver either. He just ran over 3 motorcycles.

An old guy was sitting eating at a local truck stop...

when three big, burly bikers walked in. The first stubbed his cigarette out in the old guy's pie, the second walked past and spat in his coffee, and the last flipped the guy's plate over, tipping the rest of his meal everywhere.
The old guy didn't say a word. He just got up and slowly walked out of the truck stop.
"Huh" snorted the first biker. "He wasn't much of a man, was he?"
"Nope" replied their server. "He's not much of a truck driver either. He just backed up and crushed 3 motorcycles with his rig."

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar, and asks:
-who owns the big dobermann outside.
-I own that dog, the meanest and ugliest of the bikers say.
-I am truly sorry, but it appears that my little Chihuahua has killed it.
-"What? How is that possible?" The biker says.
-Well, your dog got mine stuck in its t**....

Joe approached the gates of Heaven and God asked him what he had done in life that made him worthy...

Joe: "I once saw a gang of bikers harassing a woman, so I went up to the biggest and baddest one, gave him a punch across the face, and said 'If you want to mess with her again, you'll have to go through me first.'"
God: "Really? When was that?"
Joe: "About 5 minutes ago."

Headless Bikers

Two old farmers are walking down a road when they hear a motorcycle behind them but are shocked when the driver passes them and the biker is headless. The two men look at each other and shrug. They continue down the road and a bicyclist comes up behind them and he, too, is headless.
The two old men continue to walk down the road, when the one walking along the inside turns to the other one.
You know, Allen, I think maybe you should carry that scythe on your other shoulder

A Biker was working on his bike, when a blind woman walks up to him.

She says "I hear you're a biker? I love bikers, I'm going to give you the most pleasure you've ever had in your life."
The biker got excited and said "sure, go ahead!"
The next think he knew, she was moaning "oh yeah, you like that don't you?"
Confused, the biker looked around.
Turned out she was just yanking his chain.

The Bikers

A biker with a racing bike brags before chopper bikers and dares them to race. Despite he's obviously faster, the oldest of the chopper bikers agrees. The racing biker wants to bet $1000, but the chopper owner has no money so they agree to race for the honor of the victory.
They get ready for the uneven race. A countdown is proclaimed and the racing biker speeds away. The old biker shuts off his bike and returns to his beer.

Guy was driving in the outback.

He decides he needs a break and finds a bar off the beaten track and parks his truck..
He goes i and was confronted by a lot off p**... up bikers.
They started insulting him, so he had one beer then left.
The bikers started shouting, he was not such of a man was he.?
The barman said not much of a driver either, he has just run over 21 motorcycles.

My boss called me.

"Why are you late?!" he asked angrily.
"I'm stuck behind a group of bikers." I replied.
He said, "Can't you just ask them to move over?"
"But they look tough," I replied, "And the barman hasn't served them yet."

An couple of Swedish jokes

What does it say at the bottom of a Norwegian swimming pool?
- No smoking allowed.
Why do Norwegian motor bikers wear pyjamas hats instead of helmets?
- Because the helmet broke during the 300 metre free fall test.
Why did the Norwegian bring a car door to the desert?
- so he could roll the window down in case it gets too hot.
What does a Norwegian calculator say you if you enter 1 + 1?
- please wait...

A trucker enters a roadside cafe in the middle of his long drive

The waitress brings him a soup. Meanwhile, three bikers enter the cafe. While passing the trucker, they each spit into his soup.
Silently, the trucker pays and leaves the cafe. One of the bikers then says to the waitress,
'What an idiot! Can't even stand for himself!'
The waitress agrees,
'You're right - he can't even drive! Only left the parking lot and already wrecked 3 motorcycles!'

2 bikers going for a ride...

They decided to stop for a leak off the side of a bridge. As they're doing their business, one biker says "jeez, the water's cold". The other one says "jeez, the bottoms rough...".

A man dies and meets St. Peter at the gate.

St. Peter greets him, and tells him he can enter heaven on one condition. He must share one good deed he did in his life time. The man says, I was driving down the road, when I say a gang of bikers bullying this little girl. I went up to the leader, punched him and told them to leave the poor girl alone. St. Peter this amazed, and asked him when all of this happened. About 5 minutes ago replies the man

A Jumper

On January 9 a group of Pekin IL , bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Peoria bridge, so they stopped.
The Harley leader, George a big burly man of 53, gets off his bike, walks through the gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit s**...," she says.

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.

After she's finished, George gets approval from his group, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, then says,
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you are wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing s**...?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl".
The onlookers are still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!

Your momma so fat, the only people that will sleep with her are bikers....

Their used to riding hogs.

A new gang of wheelchair bikers have come into town...

They call themselves the Rampscallions.

Biker VS Suicidal Girl

A tough looking group of bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit s**...," she says. While he doesn't want to appear insensitive, he also doesn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing s**...?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"

Truck driver

An old man is eating his lunch in a restaurant when three bikers walk up to him.
they make fun of him for being old, and then one of them stubs his cigarette into the truck driver's food. Another spits in the truck driver's milk. The last one smashes the truck driver's food on the ground.
So old man gets up and leaves.
"not much of a man, was he?" one of the bikers says to the waitress.
"not much of a truck driver either" she says. "he just backed his truck over three motorcycles"

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three h**...'s Angels bikers walked in.

The first walked up to the old man and pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, and then he took a
seat at the counter.
The second walked up to the old man and spit into the old man's milk, and then he took a seat at the
counter.
The third walked up to the old man and turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the
counter.
Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said
to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"
The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver, either. He just backed his truck over three
motorcycles…

An old English gentleman walks into a diner in the USA

He sees the clients are either truckers or bikers and the place is a mess and has way more clients than they should, he sits down, asks for the menu and sees a large colorful print:
"Buy a meal and get a h**... from the coo For 10$!"
He walks into the kitchen and sees a gorgeous blone, he asks
"Excuse me young lady, are you the cook who gives..."extra services"?"
"Well yes I am..." She says playfully.
"Would you be a dear then and wash your hands please? I would like an omelette"

Truck Driver and the Bikers

A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.
One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."

A man wants to join a Alaskan biker gang.

So a man wants to join an Alaskan biker gang and is told by the members he has to do 3 things to get in
1. Drink A fifth of jack
2. Wrestle a bear
3. Make love to an Eskimo women
The man slams the fifth and staggers to his bike and they drive off to the bear cave.
The man lets out a roar and charges into the bear cave. The bikers stand outside and can hear grunts and snarls coming from the cave.
20 or so minutes later the man then staggers out the cave, his clothes torn and covered in blood... He looks at the bikers and says
"Alright, where's this Eskimo women I have to wrestle?!"

Bikers joke, A man wants to join a Alaskan biker gang.